Which would you rather own in real life, the portal gun or the Gravity gun?

[Darkside55]

Sorry, I just forget to check when it last recieved a post, I was searching for polls to vote on which yeah was out of boredom, but I swear this was an accident.

So it was boredom. Another mystery solved.

Also I ain't mad at you for the necromancy. I was curious. Don't be sorry.

 

[Sulkdodds]

I hate necromancy primarily because it makes me think old people are back. Like Evil Milk.

Stop playing with my heart, blackout. You OP.

 

[Raziaar]

Gravity gun. I don't want to get intimately acquainted with gravity if mess up using the Portal Gun.

 

[Bad^Hat]

I'm not even lying here, but I came into this thread thinking "goddamnit, this had better not be another ****ing blackout revival."

 

[mechanicallizard]

gravity gun. or zero energy-thingy if you will.

but twas a hard choice.

 

[CrazyHarij]

portal gun

create blue portal in local mall, create orange portal at midnigh
quick getaway

create nasty falling traps for unsuspecting victims

 

[NeptuneUK]

Oh great, now I'm wishing I had a portal gun.
There's three things I'd do with it.
One of them is making money, and the other two should probably remain secret. But actually they involve sex acts on myself.


God damn narcissist.

Very this.

 

[Operational]

I reckon you could make way more money with the Portal Gun (or at least make it easier).

Also keep in mind that the Portal Gun does have limited Gravity Gun capabilities.

 

[Nitre]

I voted grav gun, but god, they'd both be great to have.

If i had the Portal Gun, i'd make a portal in the French Alps and one in my garden somewhere. Snowboarding every day!

 

[Iron Kat]

I voted grav gun but now I say portal gun.

 

[NeptuneUK]

I voted grav gun but now I say portal gun.

I know you forgot about performing sex acts on yourself!

It's ok though because I did too at first!

 

[Blackthorn]

Gravity Gun. I'd have practical use for it. If Portal is anything to go by, using the ASHPD would kill me in a matter of minutes.

 

[Eejit]

But the portal gun can lift objects too!

 

[Blackthorn]

Yes but it can't fire them at the head of someone you hate.

 

[Eejit]

It can drop them on their head from a height though.

 

[Blackthorn]

I could do that anyway.

 

[theotherguy]

Portal gun, obviously. Consider the implications of a line-of sight device that instantly teleports you from point A to point B in the universe.

You could:
1. Settle Mars or any other planet in the universe simply by shooting the portal gun, waiting for it to hit the surface of the planet, and then sending supplies, equipment, and people through.
2. Create a perpetual motion machine to provide power for the human race indefinitely. All you would have to do is have a magnet fall through two portals arranged vertically. It would fall continuously. You could then put coils of wire all around the portals, and get an unlimited amount of energy.
3. Create faster-than light communications across any span of the universe, including between electronic components in a computer.

 

[Blackthorn]

Doing the first thing would be a very, very bad idea. Entire atmosphere sucked into vacuum through portal FTL.

Edit: Plus how the hell are you gonna do that yourself with your tiny little gun and shit vision and aim?

Edit: Seriously, think these things through.

 

[theotherguy]

Doing the first thing would be a very, very bad idea. Entire atmosphere sucked into vacuum through portal FTL.

So put the portal in a vacuum chamber, genius. It would be no different than placing a room on the surface of mars.

 

[Blackthorn]

So put the portal in a vacuum chamber, genius. It would be no different than placing a room on the surface of mars.

Go on, place a room on the surface of Mars. I'll wait right here. Chop chop.

 

[Sheepo]

lol Blackthorn.

Portal gun. Roof of building + portal gun + matress = Die happy

 

[theotherguy]

Go on, place a room on the surface of Mars. I'll wait right here. Chop chop.

I didn't say you would have to place a room on the surface of Mars, I said it would be no different from placing a room on the surface of mars.

This is what you do:
1. Construct a vacuum chamber on earth with very thick, strong walls.
2. Remove all of the air from the chamber, and fill it with air of the same temperature, pressure, and composition as that of mars.
3. Fire the portal gun in the vacuum chamber.
4. Fire the portal gun again at mars.
5. Wait however long it takes for the portal "bullet" to travel to Mars.
6. Portal is now open in the vacuum chamber.
7. Air between chamber and the surface of mars equalizes in pressure and temperature.
8. Because you filled the vacuum chamber with the same pressure and temperature as the surface of mars, nothing happens.
9. The vacuum chamber is now quite literally "on mars", as the portal opens directly to the martian surface.
10. Send people and supplies through the portal.

 

[Sheepo]

^You totally misunderstood him. Or I did. I think he was referring to your, "It would be no different..."

 

[Blackthorn]

I didn't say you would have to place a room on the surface of Mars, I said it would be no different from placing a room on the surface of mars.

This is what you do:
4. Fire the portal gun again at mars.

How the hell do you plan on doing that? Plus if you screw up, unforeseen consequences...

 

[theotherguy]

^You totally misunderstood him. Or I did. I think he was referring to your, "It would be no different..."

I think you totally misunderstood us both.

I am saying that it would not cause a huge change in pressure, provided that you fired the portal into an airtight vacuum chamber. I Said it "would be no different" from placing a room on the surface of mars for the above reasons.

He thought that I meant you would have to place a room on the surface of mars with the same pressure as that of Earth, which is not the case.

I'm not sure what you thought he said.

 

[Sheepo]

I can't read, to be perfectly honest with you.

 

[Blackthorn]

Sheepo only communicates with his penis, our words are alien to him.

 

[theotherguy]

How the hell do you plan on doing that? Plus if you screw up, unforeseen consequences...

I admit, this is the most difficult part. The portal "bullet" doesn't appear to be affected by gravity, and it has a travel time.

I assume you would measure the speed of the portal bullet, add that to the speed of the earth, and then calculate where it would be at any given time if you fired it at a certain angle off the surface of the earth, then figure out the proper timing and angle which would cause it to cross with the orbit path of mars.

If it missed mars, it could conceivably fly out into space forever and not hit anything, which is when you'd have serious problems.

At worst, it could hit something like a black hole.

EDIT: If the portal gun is affected by gravity, it may not be possible to shoot it directly at mars, since the bullet would never reach escape velocity. So what you'd have to do is send a robotic craft to mars carrying the portal gun, and then fire it at the surface. This would still be much more ideal than sending people and supplies to Mars by rocket.

 

[Blackthorn]

You're missing my main point. You'd probably have difficulty aiming at something a hundred metres away, how are you gonna hit a planet millions and millions of miles away?

 

[theotherguy]

You're missing my main point. You'd probably have difficulty aiming at something a hundred metres away, how are you gonna hit a planet millions and millions of miles away?

We do it all the time:

*path of the phoenix lander from Earth to Mars.

It's not that difficult, and it would be even less difficult if the bullet were unaffected by gravity.

 

[Blackthorn]

You actually think you can pull off that shot? You're deluded. Dangerously so.

 

[Eejit]

I assume he doesn't mean to pull it off by hand...

 

[Blackthorn]

Yes but the question is "Which would you rather own in real life, the portal gun or the Gravity gun?" not "Which would you rather own in real life, the portal gun along with the entire resources of NASA or the Gravity gun?". If it was, I would've chosen differently.

 

[Eejit]

The entire resources of NASA would follow afterwards if you got either, very plausible in this hypothetical situation

 

[Blackthorn]

You mean they'd take if off your hands and place it in those of someone less likely to cause the apocalypse.

 

[Eejit]

They could try. You could escape using the portal gun!

 

[Blackthorn]

Or accidentally get myself caught in an infinite loop, try and escape by randomly shooting, which winds up with me being slammed brain-first into a wall at extreme velocity.

 

[Eejit]

Well that would be silly of you.

 

[Jintor]

You actually think you can pull off that shot? You're deluded. Dangerously so.

You're already using Aperture Science Portal Tech, you're insane anyway.

 

[Druckles]

Or you could attempt to attract an object of incredibly large mass with the gravity gun, accidentally releasing the object before it arrives, thus continuing with the previously gained momentum, flattening you against the nearest surface.