Funniest what-Iwould-do-if-HL2-didnt-work

First.... 10 hours of staring into the abis of my computer screen building rage. Once I had lost the insite of reality, I would gather the equipment. I would take the nearest flight to the nearest nato conference. Using my personal military force I would defeat the security. After I took the world leaders of every nation hostage, using my international broadcasting equipment, I would recruit the armies of every angry half life 2 forum. Using the hl2 hackers from around the globe and the security codes of nato's leaders, nuclear warheads would be secured and I would hold the world hostage for.......................................... HL2
 
Aww my thread got bumped for the secound time... U guys wub meh u rally wuv meeee. =D :bounce:
 
I would make half-life2 real and play it. But id play it on the beginners level so i wouldnt die >:)
 
Initially I'd make another mock art piece taking bitter stabs at Valve.

However, I'm sure I'd very shortly get over it as I unpackage and play Doom 3, Far Cry, Stalker and Thief 3.
 
id find out the going rates for how much osama bin laden charges to crash planes into office buildings
 
I would put go outside in my underwear and scream "I AM SANTA CLAUSE"
 
Originally posted by razorblade kiss
I would snap the CD in half, drive to the mall with one of the pieces of sharp cd, and find the asshole clerk who sold me the game. Even though its not his fault I need someone to blame, and someone to hurt. I would slice off his heels, cut off his ass and glue them both to his head. I would the go to the escalator outside the store, and take all the HL2 boxes and throw them on it, the pour gas all over the escalator and the HL2 boxes, and light them on fire. It would be a big moving, rotating, swirling HL2 fire storm. After I watched them burn. I would get into my car and drive into a wall at 145 miles per hour, launch out the front window with my sharp piece of cd in my hand, fly all the way to Valve headquarters and in mid air while flying chop off Gabes head while screaming 9/30! 9/30!!!. After I landed I would hit up a bar, and threaten the bar tender with my cd shard for a free alcohalic beverage of my choice. I would then light him on fire as well. After I vented a little bit, and released my anger I would find some drunk girl from the bar to drive me all the way back to Connecticut to find that Valve released a patch that woulda fixed all the problems with HL2 not working. And then I would kill myself.
Click to expand...

God damn thats funny shit, how detailed was that response... Glue his ass to his head, funny shit.
 
Originally posted by Murray_H
I would dress up as a headcrab, go to Valve's offices and then jump on Gabe's head, not letting go until he fixes it personally
Click to expand...
Definately a winner.
 
Re: Re: Funniest what-Iwould-do-if-HL2-didnt-work

Originally posted by supertrooper
Friendly, if Half-Live II game no work on computer, I create a friendly to make travels back to time and purchase better money. :) :) :) :) :) :)
Click to expand...
I agree with this kid.
You are my friendly supertrooper
 
I would go Rigixjforr on Erik Johnerson-roni and sefxforgorio his wifeorio. Then I would slighiffxfsorit my shizzle-fo' rigoxiircfxcodsmsaedwefsdvcb to my fdfkljcklvxcjgopdf and then screwdsfdsgdfhfgh you mom........fghkndfelnrrd:D
Yea!
 
IF HL2 WOULDN'T WORK?

If hl2 wouldn't work on my computer no matter what I'd do, here is the list of things in order of what I would do:
1. Scream at my computer case and strangle it even if it doesn't cooperate. Then I'd pound the ground and jump up in down throwing a huge temper tantrum and cry my eyes out screaming "NO GOD ****ING DAMNIT NO!!!"
2. Take my half-life 2 disc and go back to where I purchased hl2 and take my disc and to the matrix and cut the clerk who sold me hl2's head off with my disc(by throwing it like i'd throw one of those japanse star thingies.)
3. Throw off my clothes and scream back to my home : "HL2 IS ****ED UP CHILDREN."
3. Get clothes on at my home and dress up a scientist mawmen.
4. Go to valve and smash the door open of where gabe newell was.
5. Jump in the air and slash gabe newell like in the matrix.
6. Get real close to his ears and whisper: "FIX HL2 OR YOU DIE." (with my sharp long claws right next to his neck)
7. Take him to my home and force him to fix hl2.
8. When it works jump in joy like a monkey screaming "JU-BA-MO-JO-DA-MEYH!"
9. Run out side naked holding my underwear like a flag waving it everywhere screaming "Half-Life 2 !! Kiddies!"
10. Run back to my home and get my clothes on and PLAY THE HELL OUT OF MY HL2!!

End of story. ;)
 
I would do these things in order
1. Cry
2. Get Anonymous family member point to computer and yell "FIX IT"
3. Get beaten
4. Sell PC
5. Focus on school and get A's
6. Girlfriend
7. Graduate high school as validictorian
8. Marry Girlfriend
9. Have Family
10. Become Pen-pusher with six-figure salary
11. Cry myself to sleep everynight because I didn't play hl2
 
You certainly did wait awhile to cry yourself to sleep every night.. :)
 
he did all of that the first day, i'd guess #1-10 took him about 14-18 hours.
 
Get a Priest to do that "sodomize" thing they do on it..

You know, how they try to get the devil out ;)
 
Originally posted by SpaceLord
I would go to Valve and make serious love to everyone :D
Click to expand...

Something tells me you would do that regardless
 
I'd go "Damnit", reinstall, if that doesnt work, reformat. If I cannot get it working no matter what i try, i'll ask on the net. If their suggestions dont work. I'd pack it all up and take it back for a refund of my $100AUD. And possibly buy another game.

None of this 'KILL KILL KILL' shit for me kthx.
 
Hmmm Mutiple solutions.

a) Get a old priest and a young priest, etc.. (wait, that wouldn't be a good idea... them might trap me in a van...)

b) Climb a clock tower with an Uzi and hard liquor, find out I forgot the ammo at home becuase I already got drunk, take the "short" way down.

c) Send an angery letter to Valve reexplaning the whole "5 years to do this, if wasn't ready shouldn't have announced it to come out in 6 months" thing.

d) Nothing. Continue on, get a life, thank HL2 that it saved my social life from complete and udder devistation.
 
Originally posted by SpaceLord
I would go to Valve and make serious love to everyone :D
Click to expand...

define "serious"

and what if Gabe refuses? what if Gabe says only Chris_D reserves that right?

/me ducks and hides
 
Originally posted by d8cam
Hey please watch what you say. I found that offensive.
Click to expand...
From the US?

I suppose any Chinese would be hurt by the word tank and square, or japanese by the word atomic bomb...
 
1) Try again
2) Try again
3) Try again
4) Blame Microsoft (Every problem is caused by Microsoft)
5) Try again while cursing
6) Curse repeatedly at Microsoft (Again)
7) Curse at my computer
8) Look for patches on the internet
9) Curse at Microsoft and my computer at the same time
10) If HL2 fails to work, dance the mambo
11) If that fails, take my golf clubs and beat my computer and HL2 CD into really small pieces.
12) Organize remanants into three piles
13) Find my girlfriend and make wild love to her
14) While laying in bed, realize that HL2 problem was caused by Wachowski brothers (for releasing Matrix:Revolutions)
 
Really what I would do:

1) Run to my computer
2) Trip over various things
3) Restart computer to have a good install
4) Dance while waiting
5) Place cd in tray
6) Look at the pretty install screen splash
7) Click install while beads of sweat run down my face
8) Scream out "WTF!!!!!!?" when I get an error message
9) Try again
10) Try again
11) Try again
12) Cry
13) Go onto hl2.net and post messages in a half dazed state, they would most likely read "hl-@, nt work, bullet in gun"
14) Realize the cd I put in the drive was really my peanut butter sandwich
15) Wonder how the pb sandwich came up with a splash screen
16) Put real hl2 cd in
17) Be happy
 
lol @ hipshot. I guess you could say someting like that for every country.

The massacre @ that "square" (I cant remmeber the name) was terrible though, I learnt about it in school..
 
Originally posted by blahblahblah
realize that HL2 problem was caused by Wachowski brothers (for releasing Matrix:Revolutions)
Click to expand...

Greatest thing I have ever heard.


BTW: Nice avatar, Hipshot. :) Hopefully there's not a hidden meaning; Such as US being some oil guzzling machine...it doesn't mean that, right?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

MFL
Fascinating look at the ongoing psychological evolution of flat hieirarchies.
Replies
2
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
-smash-
A very merry HL2.net Christmas giveaway!
2 3 4
Replies
154
Views
20K
-smash-
-smash-
Bad^Hat
HL2.net Trouble in Terrorist Town revival!
2
Replies
68
Views
8K
morgs
morgs
Pi Mu Rho
Zombie Master Postmortem
Replies
7
Views
7K
Insano
Insano
morgs
TTT Fanfic - The Island
Replies
8
Views
2K
Krynn72
Krynn72
Back
Top