Head Crab Rotisserie style - A many people many post fan-fic

iF A HL2 mechinama was made i'd be able to make maps and junk.

back to story...

However it turned out that neither of the combine had their guns anyways. And the two resistance members only had weapons that were inert against the strider. A gravity gun and a frying pan.

At that moment =the strider started to charge up it's main weapon, at that moment everyone screamed erraticly

Cook"Shit!!!"
Sam"Damn you! Daamn you all to hell!"
Nathan"Oh no were too clos..."
Langson"Ohhh preety!!!"


*Darkness*
 
The Combine and Resitance (spelling?) both lifted themselves off the floorboards of the room.
Langson looked up at the Strider, now no longer in it's glory, now it has a Motar
round through
it
 
Sam and the cook , with singed clothes and the smell of smoke in the air, start to realize what just happened. They see a trail of smoke in the distance, a combine APC.
Sam: YES!! in youre face you dirty overwatch!!!!
Cook: We took out youre stupid stryder with your own rockets!
Langson: yeh.....well you lost your Gun thing!
Nathan: ....hey what happened to your friendsth??
Sam: Damn it!
Cook: those mendula munchers must have gotten them......hey we're trapped in here!
Nathan: Heth right L...
Langson: I guess well hafta find a way out that giant window but its so high up...
 
Then Gordon appeared right above them, wielding his blood-stained crowbar....
 
At wich point he lowered a rope ladder to help them up. They climbed up and gordon didnt even say a word. Then he got bored so he decided to shoot a trash can a bit. While this was happening the other four slipped away into the streets.


While in the streets a few things happened, first a sign fell decapitating a random person, secondly a crow was headcrabbed and turned into a zombie crow wich couldnt fly due to it's massive girth so it rolled over and died.

As the four stared at this puzzling contradictin they remembered their original predicament


"Ok... so we broke our car and oure here to give us a jump?" asked langsdon
"No!" pronounced sam"we have to get the bizemandies.... i mean... bugbaits"
"And we're gonna use this APC to do it... i mean what the hell? arent we enimies? i am so confused all you people are idiots!!! except you the cook.... ummm what's your name??"
"I'm Langsdon!" said Langsdon with a note of joy in his voice
"And i'm called sam" Said sam
"My name is nathan" Said nathan "ok that's all of us"

"I'm still realy confused said the cook, are you trying to kill us or..."
"To tell the truth i dont know" said Nathan, i say we just go with the flow and let these two idiots frolic in peace"
"Sam's my best friend" said the cook
"Ok, but langsdon here is a real brainless one" said nathan, pointing to langsdon playing on some monkey bars


"Well then..." said the cook "we dont care anymore i suppose, so we're just gonna go get the bugbaits?"
"Yeah, i suppose so" said nathan


Five minutes later the four had located a battery in an abandoned car and loaded it into their APC
 
But the battery leaked and all that was there was an empty plastic case :p They can hear the sound of gunships in the distance....
 
Sam: Sh*t I hear gunships!
Nathan: YES GUNSHIPS!!!
Cook: I thought we weren't enemies!!!
Nathan: Screw that! I bet theres a dropship too! Sorry guys....you're screwed.
Langson: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
 
As the gunships began to fade into view, Gordon, finished toying around with the trash bin, take out his RPG and shoot the hell out of the gunships. One of them, falling from the sky, dived directly at the 5 rebels :D
 
As the starter of this thread (i may not hold much weight but...) plz don't change the plot way too much.
Congtats, you've made something awsome!
 
I dont even know we have a "plot direction" in this kind of thing.... :|
 
then suddenly, with a flash of green light, they were transported into the world of Xen where a few vortiguants were eating dinner.
 
they quickly were transported bacvk to thier own world but now they were in a ship
Sam: Wtf just happened?
 
At that moment They realised they had gone into the furure as the citadel just exploded

All major HL2 characters=gone now

So they took a battery from the crashed gunship (wich for some reason used the same bateris) and loaded it into their now decked out (for no apperent reason) apc. They got in and sped off to


Chapter 2 : The coast
 
As they arrive, all they see were truckloads of Antlions rummaging around the beach..... a downtrodden rebel approached them.
"Poor Laslow...." he said
 
Sam: Wow!! It's delicous antlion!! Kyle (cook) get you're frying pan and a big knife!!
Kyle: And some BBQ sauce.....Hey buddy, got a fire???
Buddy???: LASOOOW, HE WAS MY WORLD!!!!!!
*Sam and kyle back up slowly*
Sam:*whispers*I think we should leave
Kyle: yeh this guys freaking me out...
buddy???:NOOOOOOO!!!! *sobb*
 
Buddy seems to stop weeping for a second to utter the words:
"Why do you have two combine and a COmbine APC behind you?"
 
"Umm either we defected to them or they defected to us" replied the cook, "we're realy not that sure."

At that point langsdon ran out of the APC screaming mad extacy "POTATOES POTATOES!!!!!"

Nathan fllowed him pout with a sigh.


While they were on the beach and munching down on fresh baked, or fried, or whatever antlion they decided to go for a swim, however they changed their mind when they remembered of the leeches.

They were all having their wonderfull beach piknic when suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere a large icebreaker plowed onto the beach and came to a dead stop inches from them. Langsdon got up and looked at it, trying to read somthng on the side

"boo-ray-ail-is?"
"Borealis" replied nathan, "damned idiot" he whispered under his breath.
 
Sam: This seems vaguely familiar....Im remembering....E....3?????
Kyle(cook): That doesn't make any sense!!!
Sam: yeh you're right.
Langson: OH MY GOD IM A CANIBAL!!!!
Nathan(to sam and kyle): ignore him, he forgets what species he is sometimes......it's very disturbing to see a grown man acting like a seal.....to say the least.
 
Suddenly, langson started sobbing uncontrollably then stopped and laughed hysterically.

After that, he jumped off a cliff while making bird noises and flapping his arms.
 
"I am a golden gooooooooooooood-UGH!" Het hit the ground like a ton of bricks.
"... big rock... in... my... crotch... help..." He made a pathetic squeek and rolled over.
 
Sam:.......yeh.
Nathan: So do you think we should see whats on that ship?
Sam: yeh...but first I'm gonna remove the RPG from the APC so we can take it with us.
Kyle: Good thinking...
Langson:I......need.......water......*he flops around on th ground and then rolls into the water and starts swimming*
Nathan: NOOOOOO!!!!
*Langson runs out of the water screaming holding his arm.....*
 
Langsdon ran up to the group... "ok, i may be a retard.. but we had an RPG all along and you didnt say?"

nathan just stood with a blank look on his face


So they grabbed the RPG from the APC and went abouad the boralis, as they got on the ship slowly slid out to sea with the tides
 
*can't contuie posting with Borealis didn't see any of the E3 vidieos :x (could someone post a link).
Also if anybody really wants to do a HL2 machinima i'll sort out a list of people liking the idea and we'll go on from there.*
 
things u need to no bout borealis........Hydra........Scope rifle.....Wierd combine guards.......Hard......lol
 
evilsloth said:
*can't contuie posting with Borealis didn't see any of the E3 vidieos :x (could someone post a link).
Also if anybody really wants to do a HL2 machinima i'll sort out a list of people liking the idea and we'll go on from there.*
Click to expand...
I'm interested, why don't you start a thread?

*Nathan looked out over the sea.*
"Yarr mateys, we're out to sea now!"
Sam stared at him.
"Why the hell are you talking like that? You sound like an idiot!"
"His Overwatch voice scrambler automatically switched to sea mode."
"Yarr, me voice sounds like a seagaul trapped in a squid's armlock!"
 
*Good idea, don't know which fourm to put it in, mmhmm, I'll put in in Fan Fiction i guess. When i have the time*
EDIT: Here's the thread: Half Life 2 Machinima

Langsdon remarked;
"the Overwatch helmets provide us with many upgrades. I've got a Live Feed showing the BreenCasts, man the guy is soo funny. I also have an implant that stops me being a retard, but it only works when the Mask is on. I take it off when it gets stuffy, but i love the thing!"
 
Suddenly the Gman appeared out of nowhere, carrying a suitcase...
"Time, Mr. Cook?" he said with a smirk.
 
"O MY GOD! IT'S THE GHOST OF MICHAEL JACKSON!!!" Cook screamed in terror and threw his frying pan at him.
 
The gmans head was removed by the frying pan but hes body walked around waving its bloody suitcase.
 
Sam:What, Whos michael jackson?????I think you had too much ant lion.
Kyle(cook):Yeh, I don't know what I was talking bout.......
Langson: Whoa.....youre like here but you're not.....
G-Man:Gentlemen, thissss iss your desssstiny you must merge forccess to battle the evils in the depths of thisss vesssle. Mark these wordsss: do not let absolute power corupt absolutly.......
*G-Man disapears*
Sam:Hmmmm.... I wonder what the f**k that was.
Kyle(cook):I don't know, but let's tread lightly.
Nathan:Yeh we need to take this ship over and we can use it as a rebel base....It's portable too.
Sam:So your with us???
Kyle:Because we could use this to our advantage having you two as insiders....
Nathan:Yeh, We aren't infused with machina, so we still have moralsl....we just didn't want to get beat down or killed.
Sam:All right now let's get some weapons and head inside....
 
don't you mean "we still aren't infused with machines?"
 
Nathan:Yeh that's wat i said *eyes dart around* so back to what sam was saying...
 
suddenly, again, with a flash of green light 3 vortiguants appeared wearing chef hats.

v1: we've been chasing you for 10 years!
v2: now we got you hahahha *mental*
sam: ......
v3: you ruined our meal!
v1: you'll pay
nathan: .....
 
Kyle (cook): "I'll cook you a good meal, if you don't kill us?"
 
ahh this is fun. interactive reading.

someone should get all the paragraphs together.
 
Yer, i might, but it'll have to be with some editing,
Someone post on, i feel like a dumbass posting after my post.

PS. 15357 (what's with your name?)
 
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