I'm Probably Going to be a father

[Stigmata]

Mentally. I meant mentally. Isn't that kind of obvious from my post? D:

You'd think with the number of abortions that happen in North America that we'd see the kind of mental health effects you're going on about, no? Surely they'd manifest themselves in some way?

 

[Kamikazie]

So...Say her parent:s were Catholic. What would I be dealing with there?

Thanks for not being circlejerkers guys.

It depends on whether they're "JESUS CHRIST! IT'S SUNDAY WE'VE GOT TO GO TO CHRUCH!"

Or if they're "JESUS CHRIST! WHO SET THE ALARM FOR 9:00 ON A SUNDAY!" type of Catholics.

The latter would probably try to help you and their daughter find a reasonable solution for the situation and help her through it. There is a possible chance that they'll ban you from her.

The first one...well there isn't really much hope of you seeing her. You might be able to talk to them and convince them to let you be apart of her life, and you could get her to plead your case as well
As said earlier the Catholics aren't very open when it comes to abortion. They would probably want her to either keep it or give it to the adoption agency.

 

[Solaris]

You'd think with the number of abortions that happen in North America that we'd see the kind of mental health effects you're going on about, no? Surely they'd manifest themselves in some way?

Alot of women do suffer from psychological problems for the rest of their lives, mainly down to the fact that they're are a growing number of people, even politicians who would tell them they just killed their child.

It's a very ignorant thing to say that has horrible consequences.

 

[CptStern]

Mentally. I meant mentally. Isn't that kind of obvious from my post? D:

no, but that isnt valid either, most people can/do cope

 

[The Monkey]

Just remember to perform the abortion before th 18th week, otherwise she will have to deliver the dead baby like a "real" birth.

 

[CyberPitz]

Or like on Private Parts, how she pisses it out!

 

[Krynn72]

PLeAsE TeLl Me iT wAsN't ThIS GiRl!!1


Anyways, GET HER TESTED! . Seriously though, IF you find out that she is, then you NEED to talk to both your parents and her parents and decide what to do. Just remember that the choice is yours and not either of your parent's. Just dont freak, and make rational decisions based on your own circumstances, particular consequences, and beliefs. Whatever you choose to do, dont worry about it because no matter what it is, you'll be able to make it through.


Oh, and also... learn from this experience.

 

[victor]

i wish i could abort people. wrongful life.

 

[VirusType2]

I think it's ridiculous to say that having a child will ruin their lives. I think the opposite, but whatever. How does it ruin their lives? Because they will have to spend time and money raising a child like the rest of the parents on this earth?

Ready or not...

I mean, you are supposed to choose whether you want a child before you have one, not after.

I'm not entirely against abortion, I just don't think it's a good idea in this case.


Also, I'm saying that having a child will make you grow up. You might be 15, but you grow up fast when someone (your child) is depending on you to survive.


Again, my sister (and a lot of girls I have met) had a kid at 17, and she was (and always has been a) very loving and a very good mother.

Now, my sister's kid (my niece) is 16, gets straight A's in school, and has a job, and is a really great person that we all love very very much, even though my sister raised her as a teen, and without the father around. My sister is now 34.


Like I said before, toolboothwilly, you won't always be 15.

virustype2 unless you're a woman I dont think you had the sole decision in terminating your pregnancy

oh and the "foam in the pussy thing" isnt completely accurate ...spermicide should be used in conjunction with a condom, it's not fool proof

http://www.wcu.edu/studentd/hlthserv/condoms.html

Well, she was definitely keeping it, and I told her something immature like I'll leave you if you do, etc. She was so crazy about me, it was very much my decision. Ultimately, you are correct, it was her decision, and merely my ultimatum.

The foam stuff worked for me every time - didn't even pull out, however, that might be a good idea to further reduce the chances of pregnancy.

 

[PvtRyan]

I think it's ridiculous to say that having a child will ruin their lives. I think the opposite, but whatever. How does it ruin their lives? Because they will have to spend time and money raising a child like the rest of the parents on this earth?

Pretty much, yeah. Time and money they don't have.

Ready or not...

I mean, you are supposed to choose whether you want a child before you have one, not after.

Good thing then, since they don't have the child yet, which means they can still decide to cancel the deal.

I'm not entirely against abortion, I just don't think it's a good idea in this case.

Does not compute. Either you support the option of abortion or you oppose it. It's binary, there's no in-between.

Also, I'm saying that having a child will make you grow up. You might be 15, but you grow up fast when someone (your child) is depending on you to survive.

And why again is growing up as fast as possible a good thing?

Again, my sister (and a lot of girls I have met) had a kid at 17, and she was (and always has been a) very loving and a very good mother.

Now, my sister's kid (my niece) is 16, gets straight A's in school, and has a job, and is a really great person that we all love very very much, even though my sister raised her as a teen, and without the father around. My sister is now 34.

Anecdotal evidence means jack shit.

Like I said before, toolboothwilly, you won't always be 15.

Lets try to make it last as long as possible though, plenty of time for kids and shit later.

 

[Krynn72]

Does not compute. Either you support the option of abortion or you oppose it. It's binary, there's no in-between.

Sorry but thats bullshit. :|

Theres ALWAYS a gray area. Nothing is ever black and white. I can understand some reasons to have an abortion, but also some reasons where they should have a baby. In fact, in most cases I personally believe they should have the child.

But my point is that if you ever think there are only two options on any matter then you are being incredibly ignorant of the situation.

 

[<RJMC>]

so how you will name it?

 

[Krynn72]

Yeah, you should name it

Halflife2.net JR

 

[PvtRyan]

Sorry but thats bullshit. :|

Theres ALWAYS a gray area. Nothing is ever black and white. I can understand some reasons to have an abortion, but also some reasons where they should have a baby. In fact, in most cases I personally believe they should have the child.

But my point is that if you ever think there are only two options on any matter then you are being incredibly ignorant of the situation.

Someone opposes abortion because they think it's a person. Does it become less of a person and less deserving of human rights under "certain circumstances"? Do you think it's 'sometimes' okay to murder someone? There's no gray area.

 

[VirusType2]

Anecdotal evidence means jack shit.

Whatever. It means a lot. So many people will say that having a child as a teen is some terrible terrible misfortune and the child is doomed. That is an absolute crock of shit. I've never met a bad mother.

Pretty much, yeah. Time and money they don't have.

Yes they do have it.

To say 'i don't have the time to raise a child' is incredibly selfish. It's no longer all about you once you are a parent. Most of your decisions are based on whats good for your child.

Sorry but thats bullshit. :|

Theres ALWAYS a gray area. Nothing is ever black and white. I can understand some reasons to have an abortion, but also some reasons where they should have a baby. In fact, in most cases I personally believe they should have the child.

But my point is that if you ever think there are only two options on any matter then you are being incredibly ignorant of the situation.

Thank you, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Example -
Hmm okay someone's wife was raped and got pregnant by an nasty phsyco rapist... have the baby or not?


Example 2 -
I got my girlfriend pregnant...

 

[Krynn72]

Someone opposes abortion because they think it's a person. Does it become less of a person and less deserving of human rights under "certain circumstances"? Do you think it's 'sometimes' okay to murder someone? There's no gray area.

Well then why argue the point that "the kids gunna have a bad life anyways"?

I probably shouldnt put it it this way... but to hell will being politically correct. Im for mercy killing. If the kid is gunna have a ****ed up life because of his/her parents, then we might as well have mercy and stop it before he/she ever has to experience it.

 

[CptStern]

I think it's ridiculous to say that having a child will ruin their lives. I think the opposite, but whatever. How does it ruin their lives? Because they will have to spend time and money raising a child like the rest of the parents on this earth?

because they havent finished their childhood yet ..because they're not mentally prepared for that lifelong commitment, because they are not financially secure, because they're not emotionally developed enough to have the coping skills and child rearing skills to ensure a child gets everything it possibly needs

I mean, you are supposed to choose whether you want a child before you have one, not after.

I'm not entirely against abortion, I just don't think it's a good idea in this case.

I disagree, I'm easily twice Tollbooth willie's age, married, financially secure, have a loving wife who's also a child behaviourlist and I myself come from a background in education yet there were many times (there still are) where I say to myself "I cant cope" (I usually go out for a smoke or listen to my ipod for a minute or so and I'm back to normal ...but I cant epect a 15 year old would be able to cope as well as someone with some life experience who's both mentally and physically prepared to have children and actually WANTS them

Also, I'm saying that having a child will make you grow up. You might be 15, but you grow up fast when someone (your child) is depending on you to survive.

to a point, however providing the necessities of life is not the same as child rearing.. being emotionally stable yourself, having a good foundation in child development, having a plan as to how your child will grow ...before my son was 6 months old my wife and I deposited $5000 into an account for his future education. My wife stayed at home an extra year after maternity leave so that my son wouldnt have to go to a day care (goverment regulated daycare (educational isntitutions) dont take kids under 18 months so you're only choice is a private unregulated day care where it's more like glorified babysitting) ..when he did finally go to a day care it was at a school where it was more like a classroom with a board of education teacher and 2 teachers assistants which we pay close to $600 a month for 3 1/2 days a week (Montessori is closer to $1200 a month) ..come july he's going to summer day camp which costs $800 for the month ..that's just for my son ,,my daughter has $2500 in her education fund and nowhere near old enough to go to day care so my wife only works a few hours a week so strangers dont have to raise our kids


what 15 year old could provide that?

Again, my sister (and a lot of girls I have met) had a kid at 17, and she was (and always has been a) very loving and a very good mother.

I'm sure she was however your neice was without a father ..I play a huge role in my kids lives, every father does

Now, my sister's kid (my niece) is 16, gets straight A's in school, and has a job, and is a really great person that we all love very very much, even though my sister raised her as a teen, and without the father around. My sister is now 34.

yes but what if she had problems in school or whatever, not every child can develop as well ..having a solid parenting foundation is imperative when dealing with issues that a person too busy trying to make ends meet might not have time, the will or the ability to deal with

 

[victor]

Someone opposes abortion because they think it's a person. Does it become less of a person and less deserving of human rights under "certain circumstances"? Do you think it's 'sometimes' okay to murder someone? There's no gray area.

there's a huge grey area. war is an example.

 

[VirusType2]

I never ment to imply that raising children is easy.

Heh, it's the most difficult responsibility you can have. It is ****ing 'hardcore mode' as a teen parent - especially a single mother. There will always be more problems then you had as a non-parent. However, if you ask any parent they will tell you it's totally worth it, and they don't regret anything - what does that tell you?


If you are the type that always plays video games on the 'very easy' setting, and uses lots of cheat codes, you best to wear a condom.

If you finished Halo on Legendary, ..

 

[Krynn72]

If you finished Halo on Legendary, ..

Then you dont need a condom because you'll never get laid.

 

[victor]

oh snap

 

[Jintor]

How many more times am I going to hear "get her tested"? I got the picture! It's gonna happen! CHILL.

Dude. Shit.

Have you decided anything yet?

 

[Krynn72]

Yes, we need updates! Helplife2.net cannot survive without seeing the results of our knowledgeable advice!

 

[hungryduck]

gah guys, the guy is looking for some help - this isn't a "lets debate abortion" thread

 

[baron insig]

Pregnancy scares suck dude

Abortion = most responsible thing you can do

Im all the CPT Stern as he pretty much emulates my views

albeit he raises his kids well but has 25k + posts on internet forums

Dont plan anything till you know 100% yes no on the whole pregnancy thing.

However talk about it with the girl in more of a what would happen if you do get pregnant situation, more calm wont be related so much to amgd preggers what do we do which could result in irrational decisions.

 

[Neo_Kuja]

- Insert religious/philosophical reasons to have said child -
- Realises that VirusType2 has probably NOT been in this situation, and thus his religious/philosophical advice means jack -

TollBooth Willie, ignore the religious and political debate and focus on what you have to do. If she's pregnant (and your last message appears to support this), you need to make personal decisions based on your own ideal/morals/ethics, etc. However, if she decides to keep the child, be sure to to do the following things at least :

Inform the parents - BOTH PARENTS ! Not just your ones, not only her ones because your folks are going to be pissed off. If she choses to keep the child, you're going to need all the financial and moral support you can get.

Inform said parents IMMEDIATELY - Your Parents can probably (as a last ditch resort) raise the funds to support you initially and for the first few years until you're financially self-sufficient.

DOUBLE CHECK THE PREGNANCY TEST - Three times to make sure, as there is a margin of error in everything. If you're going to plan in advance, at least make absolutly sure it is happening.

FINISH YOUR EDUCATION - If you're going to have a child, you need to at least hold a reasonable job. Education helps get said job, and thus helps you support your child.

TALK TO SOCIAL WELFARE/ADVISORS - Humiliating, maybe, but social welfare workers can and will give excellent advice on the range of benefits and suppport options availiable.

Basically, keep your head about you and you'll come out fine - but remember to keep true to yourself, as religious/political/social pressure will try to influence you into decisions that you don't want or need.

Best of Luck, and I hope you come through it, no matter what decision you make.

 

[Tagaziel]

You'd think with the number of abortions that happen in North America that we'd see the kind of mental health effects you're going on about, no? Surely they'd manifest themselves in some way?

NA is already screwed up enough.

no, but that isnt valid either, most people can/do cope

Most. And cope doesn;t automatically mean "come out unscarred mentally". I know something about it, my mum's a medical doctor.

 

[NeptuneUK]

For god's sake!
At age 15!!!
I didn't do anything like that until I was like.... 15!

D:

 

[VirusType2]

Then you dont need a condom because you'll never get laid.

Lol, I thought it was good enough closer without a punchline, but that was great.

BTW your avatar goes great with The Beatles.

 

[MiccyNarc]

Put the child up for adoption.

Just a suggestion.

but I highly highly highly doubt she's actually pregnant.

 

[VirusType2]

Originally Posted by VirusType2
- Insert religious/philosophical reasons to have said child -
- Realises that VirusType2 has probably NOT been in this situation, and thus his religious/philosophical advice means jack -

TollBooth Willie, ignore the religious and political debate and focus on what you have to do. If she's pregnant (and your last message appears to support this), you need to make personal decisions based on your own ideal/morals/ethics, etc. However, if she decides to keep the child, be sure to to do the following things at least :

Inform the parents - BOTH PARENTS ! Not just your ones, not only her ones because your folks are going to be pissed off. If she choses to keep the child, you're going to need all the financial and moral support you can get.

Inform said parents IMMEDIATELY - Your Parents can probably (as a last ditch resort) raise the funds to support you initially and for the first few years until you're financially self-sufficient.

DOUBLE CHECK THE PREGNANCY TEST - Three times to make sure, as there is a margin of error in everything. If you're going to plan in advance, at least make absolutly sure it is happening.

FINISH YOUR EDUCATION - If you're going to have a child, you need to at least hold a reasonable job. Education helps get said job, and thus helps you support your child.

TALK TO SOCIAL WELFARE/ADVISORS - Humiliating, maybe, but social welfare workers can and will give excellent advice on the range of benefits and suppport options availiable.

Basically, keep your head about you and you'll come out fine - but remember to keep true to yourself, as religious/political/social pressure will try to influence you into decisions that you don't want or need.

Best of Luck, and I hope you come through it, no matter what decision you make.

Hi! know how to read?

Same thing happened to me, and I demanded she had an abortion until she finally did.

I 'wasn't ready' to be a father.


I will never forgive myself, and will never stop regretting that decision. I may never have children, because I'm not young and dumb enough to have one by accident or on purpose anymore.
Do you understand?



I have nothing - no reason to live. No one that needs me.


I highly highly, highly recommend that if she is pregnant, she keeps the child, and you keep as close as possible.

This is it. This is the biggest part of life.

You might not think you are ready, but no father ever is. All you have to do is try and the rest will come together.

In time, you will get the hang of being a father. I'm sure your families will help out a great deal.


You won't always be 15...

See the part where I said, "The exact same thing happened to me" (put it in bold this time. It's a long thread, and you must not have read every post.)


Next, notice how I never, ever brought religion into anything? I'll bet that's because I don't have a religion.

It has nothing to do with religion or philosophy. I said, "I regret it every day." It is permanent emotional damage that gets worse all of the time. I'm sad about it.

You guys act like you can always choose when and where you are going to have a child. "I'll have 2 kids when I'm 33, and thats it for me" It does not work like that folks. If you don't want them now, then for shit's sake use birth control. If you do want them, and have them when you desire, consider yourself lucky.

I also find it annoying how you said basically all the things I said, yet you quoted me as saying things I didn't even say. The only difference between what I said in my various posts and your post is that I highly recommend he keeps the child, and you recommend that he make his own decision. Well thats good advice, but he was looking for others opinions on what to do - not his own.

 

[Steven]

He's probably going to have a child at 15, he needs all the help he can get, wether or not VirusType2 has actually been in this situation doesn't really matter, and I don't see how you came to the conclusion that virustype2 probably hasn't been in this situation anyway.

 

[Godron]

@ Virus:

I'm not sure I understand your point. It seems your main reason for not getting an abortion is that you made some girl get one when you were younger, and lived to regret it in light of successful teen pregnancies around you. And now you can't bring yourself to have kids, because you're not spontanious enough anymore. That... sort of makes sense. What I don't understand is why you assume that the same will happen to Willy. For all we know, he might not be in the same loving relationship the people you refer to were; he said he was just fooling around. Sure, the stories you've seen turned out happily ever after, but Stern's points remain: there's a greater chance that Willie will end up screwed if he goes through with it now than does later in life, when he's prepared. And why should he take that risk, when he could just get an abortion?
After all, it doesn't seem you have any religious or philosophical objection to it. And is there any reason those people you know couldn't have had children later? Wouldn't they have been just as happy? Come to think of it, why can't you? There's no real reason why births have to be spontanious - lots of people manage to plan pregnancies like cold, calculating machines, yet they seem just as happy.

Also, I'm saying that having a child will make you grow up. You might be 15, but you grow up fast when someone (your child) is depending on you to survive.

Why the hell should he have to? Why should his girlfriend have to? You don't get to be a teenager for very long, why should he cut it short now?

If you are the type that always plays video games on the 'very easy' setting, and uses lots of cheat codes, you best to wear a condom.

If you finished Halo on Legendary, ..

That't got to be some of the most retarded logic I've ever seen. You're saying he should get people pregnant because it'll make his life harder, so he'll be some kind of glorious hero? Glory isn't worth it.

@ Willy:

You should probably make your own desicion, but if you're looking for advice, which it seems you are, the majority of people here who aren't Virus seem to have pretty much the same views as me. Don't worry too much though, she's probably not pregnant.

Sorry for the long post.

 

[Cole]

wow ur ****ed.

 

[The Monkey]

The day Tollbooth starts reproducing is the day of the beginning of the end.

j/k, I wish you all the luck in the world (if you don't do an abortion)

 

[<RJMC>]

so what virus say is let the kid born and keep it to become a men?

 

[B.Calhoun]

Hahahahhaahahhaahhahahahahahahhahahhahahahaha


Sucks For You

 

[Seagull]

LiL' Tollbooth.

 

[Higlac]

Virus, stop filling his head with bullshit. He's 15 and so is she. Do you understand the life they will have if she has a kid? Your acting like this is his only chance to have a child for the rest of his life.

I can't be bothered to read the rest of this thread. My girlfirend's sister got pregnant as a freshman. She is happily married to her boyfriend in high school, and had 3 more kids. Things will work out.

 

[PvtRyan]

I can't be bothered to read the rest of this thread. My girlfirend's sister got pregnant as a freshman. She is happily married to her boyfriend in high school, and had 3 more kids. Things will work out.

Because it worked out for your girlfriend's sister? There's a reason anecdotal evidence is not accepted by science, which is because IT'S FUCKING WORTHLESS.