Is spanking a legitimate way of Discipline
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The Mullinator
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Yes if it is only one slap and a very light one, it should not be meant as a punishment through physical pain so much as a last resort psychological one.
Jackal hit
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kids tend to copy what the adults do because it's wired into them that the adults know best (not always the case but you know..). the spanking if used for physical pain on the child is wrong because it teaches that such a thing is okay. on the flip side, there are many parents that never discipline and this can be problematic as well. what do you guys think is the best discipline? i plan on raising my kids as sorta "lead by example" and always be completely open and explain why things are either wrong or right within the structure of society. i've seen a lot of parents strike their kids and simply say "don't" ... which is bs, it doesn't teach the kids anything. ah well that's just me.
A True Canadian
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You could argue it as a form of assault. It doesn't work anyway. The kids still misbehave ten minutes later. (I have never spanked anyone personally, just given some women a light tap on the bum 
)
)
Dr.Spock
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The only type of person I can beat the crap out of without feeling bad afterwords is a child that is not disciplined at all and feels they have tottal freedom.
"Kid breaks something, and runs off laughing, then does it again for no reason."
*WHACK!*
That'll learn ya!
"Kid breaks something, and runs off laughing, then does it again for no reason."
*WHACK!*
That'll learn ya!
CyberSh33p
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physical violence isn't a good way to discipline kids, restrain them maybe in some cases, but not physcal pain as whoeverthehell up there said.
JonTheCanuck
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depends which end of it i'm on :naughty:
spookymooky
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I dont think a full-blown spanking is. But a quick slap on the arm or something is good.
A2597
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Full blown spanking when the ocasion warrents it. I'm quite grateful I was spanked as a kid. It delivers the message QUITE clearly, especially to strong willed kids.
Most of the time, yea, time outs, sending em to their rooms, etc, is good enough. but a light tap on the hand? Forget it. No WAY it would keep the kid from doing it again. Spanking works quite well.
Now, just to be sure, spanking should be done with your hand. Hard enough that it stings about 60 seconds later (A long time for a kid) not enough to leave a mark though. It leaves a mark you hit them wrong.
Interesting thing though, when my dad was a teacher the principal lined up every student that misbehaved that day and taught my dad how to properly spank the misbehaving school kids. Loud, painful for a short period of time, instant "I don't want THAT again" etched in memory. And you know something? Those kids actually respected my father. They didn't think of it as abuse, it wasn't. it was punishment. I with teachers WERE allowed to spank kids in school. Would stop a number of the problems American schools have nowadays.
Most of the time, yea, time outs, sending em to their rooms, etc, is good enough. but a light tap on the hand? Forget it. No WAY it would keep the kid from doing it again. Spanking works quite well.
Now, just to be sure, spanking should be done with your hand. Hard enough that it stings about 60 seconds later (A long time for a kid) not enough to leave a mark though. It leaves a mark you hit them wrong.
Interesting thing though, when my dad was a teacher the principal lined up every student that misbehaved that day and taught my dad how to properly spank the misbehaving school kids. Loud, painful for a short period of time, instant "I don't want THAT again" etched in memory. And you know something? Those kids actually respected my father. They didn't think of it as abuse, it wasn't. it was punishment. I with teachers WERE allowed to spank kids in school. Would stop a number of the problems American schools have nowadays.
Deadline
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I was also spanked as a child, I am grateful. My uncles do not discipline their children by spankin, they make them go to their rooms for "time outs" and thats a load of BS cuz they are devil children. They dont listen to anything. I just want to grab one of em and beat some disciplin into them... anyhow yea. I vote yes for physical discapline... "spare the rod, spoil the child" <<< so true
A2597
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Jackal hit said:
Exactly, thats why spanking should be reserved for the times when you REALLY need them to listen. Like when they don't come when you call them. "Spank" Then explain that they need to do exactly as you tell them, what if you didn't see a car coming at you, and didn't listen to me when I called you? (Or something like that)
A child ALWAYS needs to know WHY they were punished.
Lethal8472
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I was spanked as a child, and i turned out fine! (If you dont count watching anime, tearing up computers and working on them, posting on these forums...etc. ) Really though, I dont do bad things like go out and drink (im underage) or get high, like MANY kids at my school do. Most of their parents spoiled the hell out of them when they were young, and think they're all perfect angels (when in reality theyre knocking down mailboxes, having sex, and getting drunk and high). I plan on spanking my kids when i have them, but only if they do something really wrong, or do the same wrong thing repeatedly. Otherwise it will be a "go to your room and no (insert their favorite thing to do here) for the rest of the day" thing.
) Really though, I dont do bad things like go out and drink (im underage) or get high, like MANY kids at my school do. Most of their parents spoiled the hell out of them when they were young, and think they're all perfect angels (when in reality theyre knocking down mailboxes, having sex, and getting drunk and high). I plan on spanking my kids when i have them, but only if they do something really wrong, or do the same wrong thing repeatedly. Otherwise it will be a "go to your room and no (insert their favorite thing to do here) for the rest of the day" thing.
B
Blaze
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I agree with most of the above. At all the schools I've been to, the average class size is about 20 - 30 students. About 80% of the class does nothing but muck around during the lesson, and on the rare occassion that a teacher does give a student a time-out, all they are doing is giving the student the day off, and the same case with detentions etc.. All they do is give students holidays when they do things wrong, its bizzare. And like I said before, the teachers rarely do anything to stop whats happening, so it just gets worse.
N
nw909
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I was spanked as a child and look how I turned out! A lowly computer nerd with 7100+ posts on a forum about Half-Life 2.
But let's still hit children, mis-behaving or not!
haha, just kidding
But let's still hit children, mis-behaving or not!
haha, just kidding
i was spanked, stop being pansy liberals alot of kids in todays society dont get spanked and they turn out to be smart mouthed pain in the asses and all the mom says is "hey dont do that your in trouble" then exactly 2 minutes later he or she is back at it again. i was spanked when i was little while i was being spanked i was told the reason why i was being spanked. Example: "You *slap* Dont *slap* Talk *slap* Back *slap* To Me *Slap*. and i never did. my spankings made a impact that would remind me what i would get if i did that particular action again. i will spank my kids because it worked on me. of course there is a piont in force which is that fine line between decipline and abuse and of course no one should ever physically abuse there children to the piont where it causes permanemt mental and physically scarring.
Neutrino
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I actually don't think the whole "I was spanked and I turned out fine" argument is very valid, when trying to justify spanking. I mean I could make the exact same argument saying, "I was never spanked and I turned out fine."
Now I'm not really saying it's good or bad here, I'm just saying that that line of argument isn't a good way to justify it. Personally, I'm against it and think there are better, if perhaps more difficult, ways of effectively teaching children good behaviour and respect. However, I'm no child psychologist nor do I have kids, so I also don't feel I'm qualified to say, "Yes spanking is good!" or "No, spanking is bad!". I think I'd need to research the subject a lot more before I could objectively agree or disagree with it. However, as I said before I won't spank my own children, unless irefutable evidence is provided showing that it leads to a healthier, better childhood and a more well adjusted adult.
Now I'm not really saying it's good or bad here, I'm just saying that that line of argument isn't a good way to justify it. Personally, I'm against it and think there are better, if perhaps more difficult, ways of effectively teaching children good behaviour and respect. However, I'm no child psychologist nor do I have kids, so I also don't feel I'm qualified to say, "Yes spanking is good!" or "No, spanking is bad!". I think I'd need to research the subject a lot more before I could objectively agree or disagree with it. However, as I said before I won't spank my own children, unless irefutable evidence is provided showing that it leads to a healthier, better childhood and a more well adjusted adult.
Dalamari
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Spanking is dumb, you wanna teach the child something, you give him some actual PAIN, yet something that doesn't leave a bruise. I recommend oranges in a sock, hurts alot and leaves no bruise.
(I'm kidding, no liberal pansies better try to flame me)
(I'm kidding, no liberal pansies better try to flame me)
JonTheCanuck
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Dalamari said:
thats definately a good approach, i'd also recommend using a phonebook. What u do is put it up against the kid and punch the phonebook. Hurts the kid but leaves no marks! fantastic! :bounce:
JonTheCanuck
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Letters said:
*cough* *looks shifty eyed around the room* errrrm uhhh i know i wouldn't... *cough*
Yakuza
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Well I am a parent of 2 kids and I spanked and still spank one of them.
I noticed a difference in 2 ways.
1) From the ages of 1 to 5 I feel spanking completly acceptable. Children at that age are completly incapable of rational understanding. Anything above the age of 5 is really touchy, they are to big and spanking them could cause real physical damage as the power you would need to inflict is much greater.
2) I learned never to spank out of anger. 1) you could hit to hard. 2)And you might spank when spanking is not needed.
I spank my child for 2 reasons.
1) Dealing with an issue that could have life or death circumstances. My son doesn't run out into the street in fact he waits at the curb for my hand. Why? because I let him know real quick that this is not okay. He doesn't understand WHY he shouldn't run into the street, just that if he does I will spank him.
The whole point of spanking is to make it hurt, thats all children at 2 (my son) understand.
2) Deliberate disobedience. When I tell my child to do or not to do something and they do it in spite of what you said.
Also spanking should be immediate, again children lack the understanding of postponed punishment.
The biggest issue when punishing your children is after you spank them. You make every effort to show that child that you love them. After I spank my child and re-affirm why I did it, I embrace him and let him now that I love him. I also REALY try and not spank out of anger so that My child will know that I love him during the entire process.
I was whiped as a child, mostly with belts and such, somtimes with whatever was handy. I dont use a belt or a whip.
When I spank my child with my bare hand its hurts me as well, as does punishing them in general.
I noticed a difference in 2 ways.
1) From the ages of 1 to 5 I feel spanking completly acceptable. Children at that age are completly incapable of rational understanding. Anything above the age of 5 is really touchy, they are to big and spanking them could cause real physical damage as the power you would need to inflict is much greater.
2) I learned never to spank out of anger. 1) you could hit to hard. 2)And you might spank when spanking is not needed.
I spank my child for 2 reasons.
1) Dealing with an issue that could have life or death circumstances. My son doesn't run out into the street in fact he waits at the curb for my hand. Why? because I let him know real quick that this is not okay. He doesn't understand WHY he shouldn't run into the street, just that if he does I will spank him.
The whole point of spanking is to make it hurt, thats all children at 2 (my son) understand.
2) Deliberate disobedience. When I tell my child to do or not to do something and they do it in spite of what you said.
Also spanking should be immediate, again children lack the understanding of postponed punishment.
The biggest issue when punishing your children is after you spank them. You make every effort to show that child that you love them. After I spank my child and re-affirm why I did it, I embrace him and let him now that I love him. I also REALY try and not spank out of anger so that My child will know that I love him during the entire process.
I was whiped as a child, mostly with belts and such, somtimes with whatever was handy. I dont use a belt or a whip.
When I spank my child with my bare hand its hurts me as well, as does punishing them in general.
DESSTROYER
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one time i was at mcdonalds eating in the car, and i heard some 3-5 year old screaming i looked out the window and i saw this guy spanking this kid about 20 times, then he walked over to a tree and snapped off a branch and put the kid in a car and shut the doors and he got in, then i had no idea what happend the back window was too tinted to see into... didnt sound like it was a light spank...
Neutrino
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Yakuza said:
You're not getting it at all. What I'm saying is that you can't justify spanking or not spanking based on how you personally turned out, whether you were spanked or not. This is because there are many people who were spanked and turned out fine and there are many people who weren't spanked and turned out fine as well. Also, there's people who were spanked and turned into vicious murders, just like there will be people who weren't spanked and aslo turned into vicious murderers. No matter what argument you make, you can make the same argument for the opposite case. The only way one could effectively use this type of argument is if you could quote statistics saying something like children who are not spanked turned out better 60% of the time over children who were spanked, or vise versa.
See?
Also, I disagree about being able to reason with kids under 5. I just think it takes more effort. But again, I'm no child psychologist, so I may be wrong. I'm just basing it of personal experience, which doesn't necessarily hold true for all or even a majority of kids.
BabyHeadCrab
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Spanking is in my opinion not the right way to dicipline your child. My parents are both therepists and I have learned alot about how kids grow up. I think it teaches kids that the solution to makeing people comply is physical violence. But at the same time, in my life, I have seen some out of control kids- kids that wont listen to anything except physical attention. I suppose in certain rare cases spankings or physical/negative reinforcement is the way to go. But generally children like this have greater problems than can be solved with spanking. In the long run for general parenting I believe in most cases spanking is wrong.. not because it is physical/negative reinforcement but because it teaches bad and destructive though patterns and problem solving.
just my two cents.
just my two cents.
there is no irefutable evidence that proves not hitting your kids leads to a healthier, better childhood.Neutrino said:
as to the first part of your post not spanking is not what is being questioned. liberals are constantly question physical decipline. there fore not at this piont in time you couldn't use the ladder as an arguement since it is not what is being question. the question at hand is does hitting your kids mean those kids are gonna grow up and turn into the next DC Sniper. i was spanked as a kid not only that but raised in a very abuse home, physically abusive home. i have been in total of 3 maybe 4 fights none of which started by me, None.
Neutrino
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Pitbul said:
Didn't say there was such evidence. Just that I wouldn't spank my own kids unless given evidence that it was the better thing to do. Unless there is such evidence I personally feel that not spanking is the less harmful of the two options. I concede though that that is a personal opinion/preference not based on much besides my own experience, which by my own argument one can't really use objectively, heh. Caught myself doing the exact same thing. Hard not to.
And I was just saying that you can't really use the argument of personal experience to support either position. Spanking or not spanking. I explained more in my above post.
CrazyHarij
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Spanking often results in the kids growing up with S/M fetish'es.
