Just F*cking Great- my mom thinks I'm gay

[Teta_Bonita]

No offence to any, uh, "persons of special preference" here on the forums- but really, I prefer hot women to man-meat *insert barfing smily here*.
Anyway, here's how it happened- my friend Joe, who's kind of a wise-ass clown type, all of a sudden thinks it's it good idea to put a weed between his legs and slap me with it. Like most 14 your old guy's, I have a pretty crude sense of humor ( *cough* :E :naughty: ), so I pull out a weed and c*ck-slap him back. gosh that sounds awkward. So anyway, we have this little weener weed war, but little do I know my Grandma is in my garage watching the whole damn thing. not good. So she gets all concerned about it tells all to my mom.
To make things worse, just recently my mom overheard (read: eavsdropped) an aim conversation between me and Joe that involved some more uh... crude 14 year old humor (just for the record, niether me nor Joe are actually gay, although he seems to find gayness to be extremely funny ).
So what can I do? She's convinced that I'm gay- she can't seem to grasp that it's all just a joke. At least my dad know's I'm not gay (either that or he's in denial ) but it still bother's me that my own mom thinks I like my friend in a special way. this site really needs a barfing smiley. I've tried explaining the whole thing to her a billion times, is there any way to convince my mom that I like women?

 

[Danimal]

I don't even know why you're concerned.

 

[xLostx]

Don't hide it Teta....become one with the homo

 

[Raziaar]

Maybe you are gay. At least, thats what people will try to tell you. Don't listen to them...

Nothing wrong with being straight, and being proud of it. Don't let anybody convert you. If you're hot for women, you're hot for women. Being converted happens so often it seems to be "the thing to do". Don't give in to peer pressure.

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

Hay hay!

 

[Teta_Bonita]

Nothing wrong with being straight, and being proud of it.

ya there should be like, a straight pride month or something.
But that's not really the issue. I'm 100% straight and I'm gonna stay that way! :thumbs: It's just that the fact that my mom seems certain that I've been "experimenting" is really weirding me out...

 

[Moto]

Well you could go to a "bad" site and leave it on the screen for your mom to see but that would probably just get you in more trouble. Your mom probably doesn't think you're gay. We all joke about that stuff anyway. Just make sure your mom never sees you at this site. (Don't worry, it's safe.)

 

[bvasgm]

Here's the simple solution to all your problems:

Step 1: Download a whole shit-load of porn.
Step 2: Let your Mom catch you...uh...observing it.
Step 3: Problem solved.

 

[Mr.Reak]

That’s what you tell yourself when going to sleep, but then you wake up one day with a dildo up your ass and a cock in your mouth. “Mom I am not gay, really!”

 

[Sober]

Here's the simple solution to all your problems:

Step 1: Download a whole shit-load of porn.
Step 2: Let your Mom catch you...uh...observing it.
Step 3: Problem solved.

Make it lesbian porn, just to seal the deal

Seriously though (though the above idea works), well, I was gonna saw don't let it get to your head, but I think you need to jerk off to some lesbian porn ASAP.

 

[Kitfox]

Invite a hot girl over for some sex. Do it infront of your mom. Problem solved.

Spoiler

(j/k, maybe your mom will join in)

Spoiler

j/k, i'm really drunk

 

[Raziaar]

That’s what you tell yourself when going to sleep, but then you wake up one day with a dildo up your ass and a cock in your mouth. “Mom I am not gay, really!”

Okay, that was too much for these forums, man!

 

[Dr. Freeman]

i have an idea!
why don't u invite one of ur female friends over...then make sure ur mother catches u and ur friend kissing or some such...and well... the rest is history

edit: doH!!
someone already suggested something similar.

 

[Raziaar]

Maybe she'll just think he's bisexual then, instead?

 

[LittleB]

mmmmm bisexual 14 year old boy

jk


Who cares what she thinks? I wouldn't give a shit. Hell, I'd prolly hire a 'flamboyent' actor to have some fun with her

 

[Adidajs]

there is no solution to your problem except marriage. yeah. my mom has asked me if i'm gay before too. i have never done anything to warrant such a question, but it was because i never brought home any women, which i just chalked up to my lack of ability with the opposite sex. I also never told my mom about my relationships at the uni either, so maybe i should have. But back to you: there is no solution. get over it. let her think whatever she wants. Unless she brings over a priest and tries to convert you back to hetero-land, don't sweat it.

 

[Raziaar]

You know... funny thing is, my mom asked me if I was gay before too. Not because of any 'act', but because its just something she asked.

Maybe its just something many mothers fear.

 

[Mr.Reak]

You know... funny thing is, my mom asked me if I was gay before too. Not because of any 'act', but because its just something she asked.

Maybe its just something many mothers fear.

Uh no, it's just you guys sit in front of the computer all day long and don't go out drinking/having sex like your mom and dad did before. Only friends that coming over to your hours are bunch of other guys.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

Maybe she'll just think he's bisexual then, instead?

hmm...guess he just can't win then

Uh no, it's just you guys sit in front of the computer all day long and don't go out drinking/having sex like your mom and dad did before. Only friends that coming over to your hours are bunch of other guys.

holy crap, where the hell have u been?!
and yeah i think ur right Reak :E

 

[xcellerate]

acctually, they perfer the term heterosexually challenged

 

[Raziaar]

Uh no, it's just you guys sit in front of the computer all day long and don't go out drinking/having sex like your mom and dad did before. Only friends that coming over to your hours are bunch of other guys.

I've only seen my mother a few times in my life. Mainly in the earliest stages of it. All the other times have been over the phone. So She has no idea I use the computer, nor the company I keep.

 

[Hazar]

if all else fails, let her catch you watching porn.

 

[Raziaar]

acctually, they perfer the term heterosexually challenged

That makes them sound like cripples. lol

 

[Shamrock]

ya there should be like, a straight pride month or something.
But that's not really the issue. I'm 100% straight and I'm gonna stay that way! :thumbs: It's just that the fact that my mom seems certain that I've been "experimenting" is really weirding me out...

Masturbate to hot female pr0n and tell her to come in your room while you are doing that.... :naughty: She will get the picture then..

 

[CREMATOR666]

Just tell her you are bisexual

 

[Hazar]

Masturbate to hot female pr0n and tell her to come in your room while you are doing that.... :naughty: She will get the picture then..

jack around the house eh?

there's being open, and there's being open... -crushenator500

 

[JellyWorld]

Ignore your mom. Simple as that.

 

[Murray_H]

Ignore your mom. Simple as that.

Especially if you have an IRC based relationship.

Jesus shite, that sounded so geeky ;(

 

[Doppelgofer]

me and some mates at college have a gay joke running on...they even got their dicks out on a night out because they thought it'd be amazingly funny. its something previous generations will never understand...ever

 

[NeptuneUK]

guys, deep down we know how to solve this.
Invite michael jackson round to your house, he will molest you, when you find out that you dont like it, you're not gay!!

 

[15357]

guys, deep down we know how to solve this.
Invite michael jackson round to your house, he will molest you, when you find out that you dont like it, you're not gay!!

:|

ha ha ha.

 

[Insano]

A friend of me has a relationship with a girl. But the mother of this girl told a couple of weeks ago her daughter that she tought that that boy was gay

But now, after the girl told her daughter that she was dating the boy, the mother still thinks that the boy is just trying to cover up that he's gay

 

[Sulkdodds]

Just F*cking Great- my mom thinks I'm gay

Ha ha.

That is all. :E

 

[Chris D]

I've tried explaining the whole thing to her a billion times, is there any way to convince my mom that I like women?

Let her catch you masturbating to lesbian porn.
Get a girl pregnant.
Get a girlfriend.
Pretend you have a girlfriend.
Buy a porn magazine and conveniently leave it in a place she'll find it.
Pay someone to be your girlfriend.
Let her catch you having sex with a girl.

Some of those suggestions are probably better than others

 

[15357]

Let her catch you masturbating to lesbian porn.
Get a girl pregnant.
Get a girlfriend.
Pretend you have a girlfriend.
Buy a porn magazine and conveniently leave it in a place she'll find it.
Pay someone to be your girlfriend.
Let her catch you having sex with a girl.

Some of those suggestions are probably better than others

1. :|
2. :x
3.
4.:|
5. :|
6. :x

 

[jondy]

A friend of me has a relationship with a girl. But the mother of this girl told a couple of weeks ago her daughter that she tought that that boy was gay

But now, after the girl told her daughter that she was dating the boy, the mother still thinks that the boy is just trying to cover up that he's gay

That's pretty retarded right there

 

[Doppelgofer]

1. :|
2. :x
3.
4.:|
5. :|
6. :x

where is the 7th reaction?

 

[Insano]

That's pretty retarded right there

It stays hilarious

I know them both very well and when we're there with a bunch of friends, watching a movie, you can see her mum look very suspicious in our direction

 

[CrazyHarij]

Let her catch you masturbating to lesbian porn.
Get a girl pregnant.
Get a girlfriend.
Pretend you have a girlfriend.
Buy a porn magazine and conveniently leave it in a place she'll find it.
Pay someone to be your girlfriend.
Let her catch you having sex with a girl.

Some of those suggestions are probably better than others

You'll have to do something drastical if you want your mom to think you're straight, Teta. I'd do this kind of stuff if I were you. And if not, it'd teach your parents to knock on the door if they catch you doing.. things.

 

[kirovman]

Meh, why be bothered. Unless your mum is threatening to kick you out of the house or something, why care what she thinks?