Your funniest sex moment

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pre cum. God, that messies up your boxers all too much. :(
 
I just read through this entire thread. :|

I loled many times. :D

Let's see...the first time my husband (then-boyfriend) and I did it, it was in a janitor's closet at our high school (after hours). I do not suggest this. Anyway, after the deed, as we were leaving, he stretched the condom over the doorknob. A nice little present for the janitor. :p I think they started locking those closets after that, haha.

Also, Alyx is ****ing hot, ftw. <3
 
Don't you hate it when you're walking down the street and you get a boner, and it pops out of your shoe and starts dragging along the floor? You have to start walking like you have a wooden leg.

Man that's the worst.
 
CyberPitz said:
Think of the pain..
*shudders*

I hate when I'm jerking off in a chair, and it hits my forehead :(
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Don't you cover it up before you unload?

How high can you shoot? Once when I was in the backtub I managed to hit the cealing. That was on of the proudest moments in my life.
 
I persuaded a house mate to try and hit himself in the eye while sitting in a chair, stupid arse tried aswell har :D

Apart from that i'm going have to go with the general embarrassment of V Farts, i cant help but piss myself with laughter. Why dont chicks find them funny, guys sure as hell do!

ps. no i didn't watch before anyone ensues :p
 
The Monkey said:
Don't you cover it up before you unload?

How high can you shoot? Once when I was in the backtub I managed to hit the cealing. That was on of the proudest moments in my life.
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This conversation is starting to remind me of some of the conversations we used to have.

I believe the topic got a bit out of hand.

And I believe there was a large discussion about people's parents walking in on them.
 
The Monkey said:
Don't you cover it up before you unload?

How high can you shoot? Once when I was in the backtub I managed to hit the cealing. That was on of the proudest moments in my life.
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No clue, haven't quite measured :p
 
Raziaar said:
I guess... if the laws of motion and gravity still perplex the mind.
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I believe either sarcasm was in play in her statement. But as a male I am not wired to be able to understand such a term.

And it would be impressive to someone who has never produced semen full stop
 
Druckles said:
I believe either sarcasm was in play in her statement. But as a male I am not wired to be able to understand such a term.

And it would be impressive to someone who has never produced semen full stop
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There's women out there who ejaculate much further and with more intensity than most men could ever hope to.
 
Well, the clitoris is very similar to a penis. Think of that next time you gaze at one. lol
 
Raziaar said:
Well, the clitoris is very similar to a penis. Think of that next time you gaze at one. lol
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...what?

Also, is it true that female necks/nipples are very sensitive? I used to love chomping/licking on them, and it seemed to do the job. Just making sure it's actually effective, so I don't bore someone else doing it.
 
Chomping on nipples won't do anything 'cept hurt them! Unless you're into that kind of thing I guess.. ;). Neck is acceptable, and lovely. Chomp chomp nom nom.
 
I think "chomp" might be too strong of a word, Pesh :p
 
I'm confused how you seem to compare a 4-9" blood filled organ to a tiny piece of flesh.

I mean, yeah, sure, vaginas can pee like peepees can, and there are probably some common nerve properties... but... I'm not sure it's accurate to say they're very similar.

Or that I should be afraid I'm looking at a penis when I'm looking at a clitoris. I mean... I know a vagoo when I see one.
 
Pesmerga said:
I'm confused how you seem to compare a 4-9" blood filled organ to a tiny piece of flesh.

I mean, yeah, sure, vaginas can pee like peepees can, and there are probably some common nerve properties... but... I'm not sure it's accurate to say they're very similar.

Or that I should be afraid I'm looking at a penis when I'm looking at a clitoris. I mean... I know a vagoo when I see one.
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It was just a joke...

But it is true, the clitoris is basically a tiny penis, except it lacks a urethra. This is much more noticeable in enlarged ones. It's sole purpose though is simply for sexual pleasure, not the dual nature that the male penis plays.

This is basic sexual anatomy stuff man.
 
I was about to post that exact same thing, Raz, but then I hit refresh. ;(
 
In light of this discussion about boobie consumption:

thoughts.png
 
lol @ guys thinking girls pee out of their vaginas :p
 
Beerdude26 said:
In light of this discussion about boobie consumption:

thoughts.png
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HAHAHAHA I swear to god that's a transcript of events in my life. That girl's parents were ****ing ridiculous... and so was the girl :naughty:
 
mchammer75040 said:
:| I just had an epiphany..what the **** am I doing on these forums...:sleep:
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I asked myself the exact same thing a week ago, which is why I am systematically substituting hl2.net with other sites (view my last thread).

:) Still visit it on weekends and free time.
 
Pesmerga said:
I'm confused how you seem to compare a 4-9" blood filled organ to a tiny piece of flesh.

I mean, yeah, sure, vaginas can pee like peepees can, and there are probably some common nerve properties... but... I'm not sure it's accurate to say they're very similar.

Or that I should be afraid I'm looking at a penis when I'm looking at a clitoris. I mean... I know a vagoo when I see one.
Click to expand...

A male penis is pretty much just a very large clitoris (or just as small, haha I made a penis-size joke!). As a fetus, you had female genitals (albeit underdeveloped) until the right hormones pushed you into Wienerland (at least I hope so for your sake).

See:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_genital_development

And vagina's don't pee :p
 
Ok ok, you're right, the vagina itself doesn't pee. I JUST CONSIDERED THE WHOLE REGION A VAGINA, AND WHATEVER I HATE YOU ALL.
 
I believe the medical term for the region is twat.
 
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