Your funniest sex moment

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Kamikazi said:
get off my lawn you hooligan!...whens jello? whos going to give me a spong bath?
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Well I will if I have to, grandpa. But no funny stuff this time. I'll never go fishing through your drawers for incredibly thick lollipops like before, no sir.

EDIT: everyone does que, most wouldnt believe me but Ive banged women more than 2 times my age. Thats all Im gonna say.
 
mchammer75040 said:
EDIT: everyone does que, most wouldnt believe me but Ive banged women more than 2 times my age. Thats all Im gonna say.
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nothing wrong with that, theres been more then a few women that fell into the "mature" catagory that i would have loved to get into their knickers.
 
Yea thats true. This one is especially good looking, fit, and all warm on the inside. And thats all that matters.
 
Que-Ever said:
I think a gay chick at my school likes me. We've been hanging out, sort of flirting I guess. Today she gave me a couple condoms (It's like a sign of friendship at our school)and I am somewhat attracted to her. Now, here's the big question-

Does the accomplishment of getting a gay girl to have sex with you cancel out the fact that you're banging a fat chick? (she's a bit overweight).

PS- we haven't intercoursummated yet
PPS- she's pretty damn gay. Short haircut, boy clothes, everything.
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Alyx had short hair and relatively male clothes... she is not gay! :(

And how overweight?
 
Hit it first, ask questions later ;)

This has served me well over the years.
 
Actually, revealing something about yourself might be more interesting.

Classic Cyanide and Happiness moment...

"Are you feeling positive?"
 
Is there any guarantee that I will lose my virginity before the awfully long-to-await age of 20 or 21?

(this will be in four to five years for me now, and just want to get the job done before 2012, because I will get more and more anxious, more than I already am, the closer we move to the date of 23rd of december, 2012. A hint: If I will expirience the christmas of 2012, it will be the happiest christmas eve of all of my current life, although christmas is a heidnic event)

Or even find friends or anything akin to that?

Is just ANYTHING going to happen at all?
 
You do realise that if you don't have sex soon it'll fall off? ;)

Don't worry about it - you'll meet a chick at some point and get in on at. Maybe next week, or in a few years, it doesn'tmatter a great deal. Enjoy the excitement of it all :)
 
CyberPitz said:
ITT We explain the funniest thing that has happened when we were fooling around/having sex!

Was in my girlfriends little brothers room *he was in the living room watching TV* and she was going down on me. Well, I told her not to move her head too much, so I could shoot it in her mouth. well, go figure, the stupid bitch moves and I spray it all over her hair. So we laugh about it for a minute, then realize her mom was going to be home in moments, so we rush into the bathroom, still laughing mind you, to lean up.

Ahhh, those were the days.
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You're affiliated with Goatse and you have a girlfriend? Impressive.
 
mchammer75040 said:
the only other moment I can think of is when I got my first bj when I was 13 or 14, and the girl that was suckin me..I kinda pissed in her mouth alittle. I trully didnt mean to, I guess I just couldnt hold it. :\
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You can't really piss when you got a boner...
 
ZeeM said:
You can't really piss when you got a boner...
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Yes I guess thats true but thats what she told me. 'Did you just pee alittle in my mouth?' 'Uh..what?' it wasnt like a stream..more like a drop or two I guess. She was experienced though and that was 9 years ago so Im guessing I did put a drop or two in her mouth by accident somehow :\.
 
Well it is kind of difficult when you have a morning boner. Not impossible..but I hate wrestling with my penis trying to get it to do simple commands.
 
Oh man... I remember that one time when I didn't have sex... LOL OMG HAHAHAHA....


:LOL:


:eek:

:dozey:

:(
 
On the other hand, morning wood does tend to... "increase your range" in the washroom, if you catch my drift.
 
You can piss in the toilet from across the bathroom.
 
It's more like you can piss all over the bathroom from across the bathroom. Serious, you can't aim with morning glory.
 
Raziaar said:
Oh man... I remember that one time when I didn't have sex... LOL OMG HAHAHAHA....


:LOL:


:eek:

:dozey:

:(
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One day me and you will change this. We'll head to a bar, slip some roofies in some girls drinks that are totally unattracted to us and well..then its hammertime ;).

And yes stig I got the pee thing har-har.
 
Last night I was masturbating and I got some semen on my toe.
 
I can't piss at all when I have a boner. Wtf is wrong with you peeps.
 
I can pee with a boner, it just makes it harder to hit when you stand in front of the toilet. In my dreams I can even pee while cumming.
 
Actually, peeing while cumming is biologically impossible.
 
You could get a nasty infection if you get piss in the tube where semen comes from.
 
Vegeta897 said:
You could get a nasty infection if you get piss in the tube where semen comes from.
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Think of the pain..
*shudders*

I hate when I'm jerking off in a chair, and it hits my forehead :(
 
Que-Ever said:
Or "What was that wierd metal thing I felt?"
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Rapex?
IMG_1897.JPG


mchammer75040 said:
Yes I guess thats true but thats what she told me. 'Did you just pee alittle in my mouth?' 'Uh..what?' it wasnt like a stream..more like a drop or two I guess. She was experienced though and that was 9 years ago so Im guessing I did put a drop or two in her mouth by accident somehow :\.
Click to expand...

Pre cum maybe? it happens, trust me.
 
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