Your funniest sex moment

Status
Not open for further replies.
TerryTibbs said:
I went to norway on busniess , in a bar , woman came up 2 me , ask if she wanted a bang , i said ang about , we made love on a italian fireplace. She was ma ex-wife.
Click to expand...
So you met your ex-wife in a norweigian bar? Was it a pure coincidence or was it planned?
 
I had a herpes scare. Facial herpes. :LOL:

Turns out it was nothing.
 
My mate had facial herpes at uni, it was ****ing grosse. We used to wind him up something awful - even got him a little bell to ring XD
 
TerryTibbs said:
I went to norway on busniess , in a bar , woman came up 2 me , ask if she wanted a bang , i said ang about , we made love on a italian fireplace. She was ma ex-wife.
Click to expand...

That's not what you originally posted!
awesome.gif
 
Ang about , i fogot to mention it was ma ex-wife , and yes it wasnt planned , we met , made love for 46 hours.
 
TerryTibbs said:
Ang about , i fogot to mention it was ma ex-wife , and yes it wasnt planned , we met , made love for 46 hours.
Click to expand...

less roleplay and more sexy stories mkay ?.

where the hell is pitzy ? we havent had a new post here in ages . im sure SOMEONE out there is getting some....
 
and then you found out she died in the 6th hour of love making
 
Warbie said:
My mate had facial herpes at uni, it was ****ing grosse. We used to wind him up something awful - even got him a little bell to ring XD
Click to expand...

Seriously, I went to a party last night and half the girls there, when I told them my name, questioned whether I had herpes. One of the first people who found out is one of the hugest gossips in the whole world. I'll never live it down however many people I tell about its false alarm-ness.
 
Reginald said:
I had a herpes scare. Facial herpes. :LOL:

Turns out it was nothing.
Click to expand...

DO YOU SUCK DICK?! DON'T AVOID THE QUESTION, OR I WILL PERSONALLY GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND SKULL F*CK YOU! DO YOU SUCK DICK?! SKIN FLUTES? HAPPY ROOSTERS?!
 
Were you born a fat slimy scumbag, you piece of shit, or did you have to work on it?
 
If the first person to reply had recognized that that was a Full Metal Jacket quote, we could have avoided this whole mess T.T
 
I saw pitzy playing cs:s last night so I went to play with him. He invited me to a chat room so I joined. I was shocked to find some chick in there cause most girls don't play games. Then I thought "oh lol, that pitzy got another girl!" ;) So he's fragging people left and right like a pro while spraying some hot girl photo playing topless on a Guitar Hero guitar. So somebody on the server asked if the girl who was playing was pitz girl. He said "yes" and that she was 18. So I got curious and looked up this girls profile. She actually lives in New Jersey and probably wasn't 18. :cheese: Then he had to run off to watch his MSI dvd. Oh and I saw some pron video in which the guy literally got a hs with his spooge. I played with it a bit to include FPS doug but I deleted the file. :(
 
Shower secks eh? Never tried it. Sounds sexy but then when you think about it... it sounds more dangerous than sexy. On an almost similar, but more creepy than humorous note, I stear clear of sex in swimming pools TO THIS DAY because of something my mom said that scared me shitless as a child. She also threatened to cut my penis off if I kept running through the house naked when company was over... those were the days.

Anyway, anyone ever had swimming pool shecks?
 
Van_Halen said:
... Do me a favor and go watch Full metal Jacket. Ignorant much?

I'm not homophobic either, on the contrary, I have a brother who'se gay, and he's one of my best friends... I mean that in a... heterosexual... way... ?.. ?/.?SAF,.?!

Iono now.
Click to expand...
It's best to just keep the word "sexual" far away from any sort of family friendship ;)

[edit] The "whole mess" was just the two or three people crying homophobia.

[edit2] I see what you did thar >:]
 
Stigmata said:
It's best to just keep the word "sexual" far away from any sort of family friendship ;)

[edit] The "whole mess" was just the two or three people crying homophobia.

[edit2] I see what you did thar >:]
Click to expand...

haha...

just so we can have an idea of how crude and ruthless the drill Sargent was from FMJ, heres a clip.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUc62jD-G0o[/YOUTUBE]
 
Taboo said:
Shower secks eh? Never tried it. Sounds sexy but then when you think about it... it sounds more dangerous than sexy. On an almost similar, but more creepy than humorous note, I stear clear of sex in swimming pools TO THIS DAY because of something my mom said that scared me shitless as a child. She also threatened to cut my penis off if I kept running through the house naked when company was over... those were the days.

Anyway, anyone ever had swimming pool shecks?
Click to expand...

Well how about you share what your mother said that scared you?:thumbs:
 
hool10 said:
I saw pitzy playing cs:s last night so I went to play with him. He invited me to a chat room so I joined. I was shocked to find some chick in there cause most girls don't play games. Then I thought "oh lol, that pitzy got another girl!" ;) So he's fragging people left and right like a pro while spraying some hot girl photo playing topless on a Guitar Hero guitar. So somebody on the server asked if the girl who was playing was pitz girl. He said "yes" and that she was 18. So I got curious and looked up this girls profile. She actually lives in New Jersey and probably wasn't 18. :cheese: Then he had to run off to watch his MSI dvd. Oh and I saw some pron video in which the guy literally got a hs with his spooge. I played with it a bit to include FPS doug but I deleted the file. :(
Click to expand...

Yeah, the chick that was with us was from NJ, and the girl in the photo was from...uhhh...no clue. Internet photos. I enjoy making people think it's a gf. :O
 
Unfocused said:
Well how about you share what your mother said that scared you?:thumbs:
Click to expand...

i would like to know too.

did she say that the pool cleaner might attack you and suck up your........ive said to much already
 
Van_Halen said:
DO YOU SUCK DICK?! DON'T AVOID THE QUESTION, OR I WILL PERSONALLY GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND SKULL F*CK YOU! DO YOU SUCK DICK?! SKIN FLUTES? HAPPY ROOSTERS?!
Click to expand...

It was a girl's face. Makes the story even more boring when I say that...

Taboo said:
Shower secks eh? Never tried it. Sounds sexy but then when you think about it... it sounds more dangerous than sexy. On an almost similar, but more creepy than humorous note, I stear clear of sex in swimming pools TO THIS DAY because of something my mom said that scared me shitless as a child. She also threatened to cut my penis off if I kept running through the house naked when company was over... those were the days.

Anyway, anyone ever had swimming pool shecks?
Click to expand...

Had sea sex. Salty. And seriously, we only noticed afterwards the jellyfish everywhere. Scary.
 
I've never had swimming pool sex....I was swimming, and this girl told me to come over...and she started giving me a handjob. Never got off...but we finished up later inside. Except we were at a friends house, and when she discovered us, I was going down on her at the time. the other friend was like "OMFG STOP THAT AND GO WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT!"

I'm like ":O"
 
Swimming pool sex? no i havnt don that no. I tell ya what , you have no idear what make they are.I was in switzerland once , and i was by the pool right, all cold right, beutiful woman , i talking BEUTIFUL . Any ways i was making me way to a bar rite , then all of a sudden this woman came up 2 me , asking if i wanted a drink , so i said hang about , we went to my room , orded room servis, made love . Then she was gone the next day.
 
I thought the thread title said 'FUNNIEST sex moment'?

Reginald said:
Had sea sex. Salty. And seriously, we only noticed afterwards the jellyfish everywhere. Scary.
Click to expand...
I was swimming in Majorca once, went pretty far out, looked underwater because I had goggles on. When I surfaced it was right next to a lilo, on which a guy was bumming his girlfriend. Awkward!
 
Sulkdodds said:
I thought the thread title said 'FUNNIEST sex moment'?

I was swimming in Majorca once, went pretty far out, looked underwater because I had goggles on. When I surfaced it was right next to a lilo, on which a guy was bumming his girlfriend. Awkward!
Click to expand...

There are so many funny sex stories, and so many more sex stories. Threads evolve!
 
CyberPitz said:
I've never had swimming pool sex....I was swimming, and this girl told me to come over...and she started giving me a handjob. Never got off...but we finished up later inside. Except we were at a friends house, and when she discovered us, I was going down on her at the time. the other friend was like "OMFG STOP THAT AND GO WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT!"

I'm like ":O"
Click to expand...

ugh. my motto: only bitches go down.
 
anyone who has ever had sex would not start a topic about "funny" moments with a "stupid bitch". but good going, you had a lot of virgins fooled.
 
213 said:
anyone who has ever had sex would not start a topic about "funny" moments with a "stupid bitch". but good going, you had a lot of virgins fooled.
Click to expand...
Anyone who has ever had sex would not join an internet game fan forum and post in a topic about funny moments with a stupid bitch.

Oh wait...
 
Leaving the window open, facing a childrens party or something. Just hearing an elderly woman over the fence "AHEM!"
Some of the moments you have to laugh at, after it :p
 
Taboo said:
Shower secks eh? Never tried it. Sounds sexy but then when you think about it... it sounds more dangerous than sexy.
Click to expand...

Done it quite a few times, but it almost never works as planned. Most showers aren't really big enough and hot water plus physical exertion can make you want to have a sit down pretty fast.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Krynn72
You guys, what the **** is up.
Replies
11
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
B
Marc Laidlaw releases Half-Life 2: Episode Three's plot
Replies
32
Views
39K
BabyHeadCrab
BabyHeadCrab
MFL
Fascinating look at the ongoing psychological evolution of flat hieirarchies.
Replies
2
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
B
Barking Dog Studios' work for Valve
Replies
0
Views
12K
Barnz
B
B
Community Interviews: Final Exchange development team
Replies
0
Views
5K
Barnz
B
Back
Top