A New Type of Headcrab

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1. "Gordon eventually learned to be firends with the headcrabs...
And after someone takes a pitcure of it, Gordon claims it was an accident"
2. "Being all alone in Black Mesa for a long time can cause some strange crap to happen"
3. "Its moments like these you need Minties!"
4. " 'It was love at first site' claimed the Headcrab"
5. "Realising that the fabric would shrink in a washing machine, he asks a headcrab to try and help him fix the situation but his atempts are now in vain "
6. "Gordon was isolated from the ladies for too long..."
7. "He only wanted a hug..."
8. "Many HL fans are trying to make Gordon talk, but they took it too far and still failed"
9. "Gordon did not want to risk hitting himself in the groin with the crowbar so he tried and did a hula dance to shake off the headcrab"
10. "I am never spilling food on my pants and not wipe it off again" thought Gordon
11. "Owned" nice and simple
12. "Unfourtanatley(SP?), Vivendi took this caption to court and threatens to delay for 6 months"
13. "Why Half-Life 2 isnt rated T"
14. "Oh dear, the code for this caption was stolen and now it will be delayed for 1 year..."
15. "The confessions of Jackal Hit, foreworded by Steve Allen"
16. "I hope a poison headcrab dosent bite this hard ><' "
17. "So whats the difference between a mosquito and a headcrab? When you slap the mosquitoe it stops sucking"
18. "I wish Spider-man was here right now"
19. "Maybe when Eli said 'they isnt nothing Gordon cant handle' he should of thought about this"
20. "Whoever took this pitcure was either very tired or had issues"
21. "Gordon shows off his new fashion with a groin protector made from Headcrab skin, I mean come on if you thought that the headcrab was purposley on his groin you better grow up!"
22. "Gordon tried to avoid the headcrab by stepping backwards, but he didnt take a big enough step. Man imagine the embarresment there"
23. "So a headcrab walks into a bar..."
24. "Man there is no where to go thats private for my uhh 'tastes' its like friggen Big Brother here!"
25. "Just a bit to the left... oooh yea"
26. "You'd think Jackal Hit would put the headcrab on Gordon's head... Now that would be a good pitcure =p"
27. <Gordon shakes his head> "Headcrabs, nature's quitters"
28. "I reckon when im older, I am gonna look back at these days and laugh"
29. "Uhh Alyx, its not what it looks like"
30. "Root Beer is better to drink then beer in the long run"
31. "2 words... OH CRAP"
32. " 'All your base are belong to us' thought the headcrab"
33. "What the hell why am I suddenly in 3rd person view"
34. "Ha! Do you think that will make me talk"
35. "Method #101 for Combine torture"
36. "1st Golden Rule, when avoiding a headcrab make sure the step you take backwars is a BIG step backwards"
37. "When Gordon stepped into the G-man's portal he was taken to Bizzaro world! Everything that hates him now loves him..."
38. "Well... what else are you meant to do in the sewers?"
39. "Remeber everyone, it is whats on the inside that counts"
40. "Now in this case size does matter!"
41. "Now with more 'full cream milk' each mouthful "
42. "How will you use your plush headcrab toy?"
43. "*New to the Gold package, blow up headcrab dolls!
44. *WARNING: Do not use doll this way"
45. "So Gordon walks into the sewers and says 'F*ck me its hot in here' "
46. "When Gordon said to a baby headcrab 'Whos your daddy!?' he actually said the truth"
47. "Don't you sometimes think what it will feel like? At least Gordon was determined enough to try" =P
48. "Now look, that headcrab isnt doing what you are thinking it is uhh It is the lighting that makes it look like that!"
49. "The more you look at the pitcure the less ashmed you are of Gordon"
50. "This is the kiind of crap that people think about when Half-life 2 is taking years to realease..."
51. "Good thing this isnt a side on pitcure... otherwise I woudnt want the graphics to be that realilistic"
52. "All fair in love and war!"
53. "Now whenever a fanboy from another game says that when you look down you cant see your legs and such... I would show them this and tell them why I dont want the First Person View to have the ability to look down and see my hips"
54. "All the taste and none of the mess!"

(I compiled all these because it was turning into an excuse to spam. - Icarus )


Well, Im gonna be gone for an hour...

see you soon :devil:
-Danimal
 
"Unable to find the facilities, Gordon took a leak in a vent"
or if you prefer..
"Gordon now regrets relieving himself in that vent..."

or how about...
"Enlarge your penis! All natural, no pills!"
 
Danimal said:
(I compiled all these because it was turning into an excuse to spam. - Icarus )

Thank you, I was really worried that I might get into trouble for over-doing the captions. I just wanna win the comp ^^ what is the prize anyway
 
Danimal said:
Thank you, I was really worried that I might get into trouble for over-doing the captions. I just wanna win the comp ^^ what is the prize anyway
Don't forget that if you're posting again within 15 minutes, you can just edit your last post to include the new caption :)

I'm not sure (because we see the Edit post button all the time) but I think you guys have the button disappear after 15 minutes. If that's the case, please feel free to post again! :cheers:
 
"Headcrabs live up to their name"

Yeah, I know it's a joke that's been done to death, I just thought it could be presented a bit more subtly. :p
 
Danimal said:
43. "*New to the Gold package, blow up headcrab dolls!
44. *WARNING: Do not use doll this way"

Those 2 are meant to be the same caption but it dosent reallly matter

the WARNING part is meant to be the clause (if thats how you put it) of #43

but i dont care I think I made enough captions anyway.
 
lol I got new captions

55. "Look Ma! You were wrong when you said I could never get a girlfriend :D"
56. "And this one time at Black Mesa..."
 
the question on every body's mind: does it swallow?

another case of underage sex!!
 
"Headcrabs, a mans best friend"

Alex "Damm it Gordon, every haloween, the same costume"

City 17 Helath and Safety Manual
1, Don't hit a headcrab if its on your head
2, Don't hit a headcrab if its on your other head

Headcrab "whats that smell"

I'm so glad I'm not a headcrab anymore!
 
"Hey alyx, i don't think i need that viagra after all"

"Love hurts"

"Headcrab: Love me tender, Love me sweet... I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO!!!"

"Are you a girlcrab or a boycrab, either way, it feels kinda nice"

"Hey fella, watch it... you got pretty sharp teeth!"
 
"I know there's never a good time to fart in a Hazard suit, but this is ridiculous!"

"ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH........ we agreed, no teeth!"
 
I'm speculating here, as I can't be bothered to read all 10 pages, but did anyone just say "crotch crab"?
 
"After this incident of mistaken Identiy, Gordon began insisting Alyx get a bikini wax"
 
You can continue to submit captions, but Jackal Hit and I are compileing the final list
 
"Gordon never thought City 17 would be littered with KISS fans"
 
gordon: "can't.... get free.... from vivendi.... argh"
 
"Aww, hey there little fel- AAHHHHHH!!!! GET OFF! ALYX, IT HAPPENED AGAIN! Bring a crowbar, and some antiseptic ointment."
 
''Who needs swimming lessons when you ve got a giant tentacle creature?''
 
Valve Employee: "No, he doesn't swallow, but it can easily be modded in.."
 
Valve Game Tester: "Holy crap, look what the headcrab is doing!!"

Valve AI Programmer (smirks): "Wait'll you see the what I did with the Hydra AI!"

...time passes...

Cliffe (re the Hydra removal at hl2.net forums): "its all detailed in the 'Raising the Bar' book. We think you'll enjoy reading it..."
 
I got some of those crabs from this guy that kind of looked like a girl.


Wait, what?
 
Gordon: "Brings new meaning to 'Raising the Bar'.. hehe good crabby..."
 
And Gordon discovers the latest mutation, the dreaded "Crotch Crab"!
 
No Alyx. Do NOT use the buzz-saw/Manipulator to kill this head crab.
 
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