Do you believe in spanking?

[Prince of China]

There's really a difference between child abuse and discipline.
To spank!

 

[RTFMy]

I was spanked all the time as a kid, and I do worse things now then I ever did.

 

[Gargantou]

Korebolter, just give the kid a gun if he gets bullied, it'll solve all his problems(and I'm not talking about suicide!), certainly did solve mine.

 

[RRunner]

I think a big problem here is that...nobody is really sure what everyone else means when they talk about spanking.

Slap a baby when its done something wrong, is part of nature. If a baby touches a fire, because it doesn't know better, then the fire doesn't sit it down and talk it out...it burns it. If a baby kicks you when you're putting its nappy on, then you just slap its leg. Not hard, but just so it knows that if it kicks you, then it'l get what it dealt out.

Spanking doesn't work past a couple of years really, unless its really hard in which case I think you can use the word beating. Though, if the parents have been moderate with the physical punishment, then really just the idea that your parent is willing to hit you, is enough to make you think twice because (and I'm talking about when you're at the age when you can start to reason) you know they must be really mad, and you must have done something really wrong.

This has been my experience

(Then theres a whole range of other things. Like my fighting with my older brothers and father. It was never "I'm trying to kill you" but we did often bruise each other...but thats just part of toughening you up Lead by example, and teach by experience.)

Christ man, you dont hit a baby for any reason what so ever!

just slap its leg.......we r talking about inducing pain at some lvl here upon a person, yeah babies are persons too.
And no im not calling this child abuse...abuse is somn much harder, but we r still talking about a parent willing to induce pain upon its child, this can be resolved in reasoning. Yes i am aware off that u cant verbaly reason with a baby, all though a baby knows when u are mad by the tone of your voice. You show the baby what its doing is wrong, by taking away its leg or showing that u r in pain when its doing so, ur child WILL understand this after some time.

I still say that inducing pain as a method of reason, is showing your child a wrong path. Im not saying that your child will grow up to be a psyko, but its my firm belife that your child will grow up wiser and more able to reason if shown or told whats wrong, without inducing pain.
The world will soon enough show your child what pain is, dont you worry about that. Give your child a safe homebase, and it will grow up to its full capacity. Still belive that inducing pain is the easy way out of parenting, well thats my idear any way.

(yes i fought my brother too when i was a kid, this stoped when i grew bigger then him, and i kicked his ass, my parents stoped hitting me when i was 11, my dad hit me in the face when i was playing WASp really really loud, and i remember i just hit him back in the face, so hard he fell back into the closet lol, they never touch me after that).

 

[Raziaar]

From the children I have seen that have grown up without some form of affirmative disciplinary action, are disrespectful of others, and particularily disrespectful of authority.

 

[RRunner]

From the children I have seen that have grown up without some form of affirmative disciplinary action, are disrespectful of others, and particularily disrespectful of authority.

Yes me too, but all that i know who are like this, had parents who dint reason with their kids, they just let them so what ever it is they do, this is not what im talking about. This is IMO as bad as hitting your kids. This is not showing your kids the right path, nor the wrong path, this is leaving them with no path, and i cant imagine how frustraiting this must feel 4 them, hence proberbly the additude.

 

[Gargantou]

True, some form of affirmative disciplinary action is needed but in some cases spanking ain't the best answer.

 

[The Monkey]

Even if I wanted to hit the children I couldn't. I'd go to jail for about one year.

 

[Raziaar]

True, some form of affirmative disciplinary action is needed but in some cases spanking ain't the best answer.

True, but I also believe that spanking, when done properly, also isn't an 'easy way out'. It's not easy for a parent to bring themselves to spank a child.

 

[Gargantou]

Yeah when done properly but as said, there are parents that do spank their kids without really explaining what they done wrong and relying on the kids themselves knowing that.

 

[Tr0n]

Bitch slapping is key.

 

[KoreBolteR]

Even if I wanted to hit the children I couldn't. I'd go to jail for about one year.

i could never hit children.
but if i had a child i would want to guide him/her down the right path, and give him/her a little slap to tell him/her when hes done wrong. cant you do that :O ?

 

[Dalamari]

Pffff, spanking is over-rated

Verbal abuse is the key.

 

[KoreBolteR]

Pffff, spanking is over-rated

Verbal abuse is the key.

WHY do i always laugh at your smiley apple? LOL

i always laugh when i see it.

 

[K e r b e r o s]

I disagree with most of these posters who are opposed to spanking -- however, each to his own.

Nothing good ever comes of spanking your children. If you raise them right in the first place, you'll never have to lay a hand on them.

I know of more kids that were not spanked nor hardly punished as a child in retribution for a penalty -- that are now today more violent then I'am.

Spanking can be vital -- it proves your willing to go beyond words, and that when you tell them not to do something wrong, "or else", that they know you'll do it.

However, spanking is'int the only thing out there.

Proven by whom?

As far as I can tell, I'm not a violent person...

Your not. ... ooo, AND you were spanked.

Well I haven't met you, so I can't tell.

If you want to make someone slightly miffed, prejudging their contexts and their personal history, based upon one comment -- will do it.

Spanking, has nothing to do with personal choices.

but fact is that a majority of criminals have been hit as a child. I will try to find some source...

First, thanks for "one" source. If anyone else has anything involving sources, post away ...

However, lets review the criminal thing -- most criminals come out of abusive homes. Spanking is not an abusive behavior -- its just a rough slap to butt.

Slapping, in itself is a different form Spanking; yet still viewed as an ironical form of punishment, or a means of embarrasment. Slapping is usually directed at the face or chest, and can be defined as physically abusive behavior. However, spanking is not physically abusive -- unless you bleed their butt dry.

Criminals dont become criminals because they were spanked; they become criminals because of their environments. Physical Abuse, and Spanking, might have a line -- but they're sides, and principles, are still very different from each other.

Plus, spanking stops at a certain age -- if your 17 and still being spanked; you must've done something so horribly wrong ... I cant imagine where to begin.

you address the symptoms you dont punish the behaviour, especially through the use of physical force because you're sending the wrong message

However, punishing the symptoms might also lead to punishing yourself -- and if it involves a future with your child in public schooling; you will have to fault yourself and your child to some element.

Plus, if your child is bullying other children in his school -- and gets into an arguement with one of those children he bullies; which is the symptom for his behavior?

Spanking takes on a whole new level of personal responsibility -- those that dare to do it, and do it correctly, will know that when they say, "I'll do it", the children wont hestitate to believe "he/she will".

In other contexts, if you dont punish the behavior, your child might assume that the behavior is correct; and whoever is he exerting his actions unto, would be punished instead of him.

With or without spanking, how could you address such a thought process? Ultimately, if your opposed to spanking -- would you view as taking things away, or denieing of certain rights; apt punishments?

 

[oldagerocker]

I'd only spank a child (and it wouldnt be a spank, a sharp slap is enough on the hand), if it was them having to learn not to do something that i know is dangerous for them, such as sticking their fingers into sockets. Its the only way to get through the a child the severity of the situation for you to resort to that measure.
children of a young age you cannot reason with but there are other ways of dealing with them, and all are usefull in context. Spanking or hitting a child is not the only way to teach discipline but it is a last resort for the sake of your child, not for your piece of mind. No loving parent would want to hit their child, but sometimes its needed and it doesnt do any lasting harm if used in the right circumstances.

 

[K e r b e r o s]

^ Exactly.

 

[CptStern]

I disagree with most of these posters who are opposed to spanking -- however, each to his own.



I know of more kids that were not spanked nor hardly punished as a child in retribution for a penalty -- that are now today more violent then I'am.

Spanking can be vital -- it proves your willing to go beyond words, and that when you tell them not to do something wrong, "or else", that they know you'll do it.

However, spanking is'int the only thing out there.



Your not. ... ooo, AND you were spanked.



If you want to make someone slightly miffed, prejudging their contexts and their personal history, based upon one comment -- will do it.

Spanking, has nothing to do with personal choices.



First, thanks for "one" source. If anyone else has anything involving sources, post away ...

However, lets review the criminal thing -- most criminals come out of abusive homes. Spanking is not an abusive behavior -- its just a rough slap to butt.

Slapping, in itself is a different form Spanking; yet still viewed as an ironical form of punishment, or a means of embarrasment. Slapping is usually directed at the face or chest, and can be defined as physically abusive behavior. However, spanking is not physically abusive -- unless you bleed their butt dry.

Criminals dont become criminals because they were spanked; they become criminals because of their environments. Physical Abuse, and Spanking, might have a line -- but they're sides, and principles, are still very different from each other.

Plus, spanking stops at a certain age -- if your 17 and still being spanked; you must've done something so horribly wrong ... I cant imagine where to begin.



However, punishing the symptoms might also lead to punishing yourself -- and if it involves a future with your child in public schooling; you will have to fault yourself and your child to some element.

Plus, if your child is bullying other children in his school -- and gets into an arguement with one of those children he bullies; which is the symptom for his behavior?

Spanking takes on a whole new level of personal responsibility -- those that dare to do it, and do it correctly, will know that when they say, "I'll do it", the children wont hestitate to believe "he/she will".

In other contexts, if you dont punish the behavior, your child might assume that the behavior is correct; and whoever is he exerting his actions unto, would be punished instead of him.

With or without spanking, how could you address such a thought process? Ultimately, if your opposed to spanking -- would you view as taking things away, or denieing of certain rights; apt punishments?

how do you manage to write so much yet not actually say anything?


look the alternative to spanking is a very difficult choice because it doesnt start before the behaviour happens ..it starts from a very young age. Prevent the behaviour from happening in the first place. Look I've seen it work hundreds of times ..btw Did I mention my wife is a behavioural specialist and that I used to teach overly aggressive kids? I know what I'm talking about because I've actually had to use it

 

[phool@modeling]

Hmm.. I voted before I saw what you really meant.

I'm not really sure of what I think. I'm not parent material yet.
But right now I don't believe in it.
Sure I want to beat the **** out of young children, but I would NEVER do it to my own.

 

[K e r b e r o s]

..btw Did I mention my wife is a behavioural specialist and that I used to teach overly aggressive kids? I know what I'm talking about because I've actually had to use it

how do you manage to write so much yet not actually say anything?

Your not very good at ... "teaching"

 

[Hazar]

to answer the question, it depends on what I'm spanking :naughty:

 

[The Monkey]

There's no scientific study whatsoever that shows that spanking leads to better discipline.

The children will feel so humiliated that they don't understand why they're being spanked. It also makes them more afraid of their parents, and it teaches them that violence is OK.

Spanking has been illegal in Sweden since 1978, so needless to say, I've never been spanked. The punishment is anything from fines to two years of prison, depending on the severity of the spanking.

 

[Baal]

I think one benefit of spanking is what it results in. The kid cries and runs off, and deals with the problem (pain? I guess, just anything that forces the kid to cry and the mother won't come running with a first aid kit) himself, which is great.

I've played a lot of sports in my younger years, team sports. I've also averaged about 1/2 a cry baby per team. And I don't mean, gets hurt easily, or cries on the bench after being hit. I mean, everytime he falls down, he'll sit on the ice or the field, and cry for the coach or a parent.

And 90% of the time, the kid isn't even hurt, at least not seriously. The kid has a boo-boo and wants attention, nothing more. It was annoying as hell to watch a kid not even hurt lie there interrupting the game, plus the awkwardness of it if he was on your team.

 

[15357]

I believe in systematical spanking, make sure the kid knows why hes getting disciplined, and set up something to do it.

 

[CptStern]

you need to read the rest of this thread ..spanking is about satisfying the disciplinarian it has absolutely nothing to do with instilling morals/teaching values and everything to do with fear

 

[15357]

Fear has worked so well in keeping people in line, right? :/

 

[CptStern]

yes you're proof of that :E


anyways children should never be physically abused in order to teach a lesson, it is completely ineffectual

 

[Raziaar]

yes you're proof of that :E


anyways children should never be physically abused in order to teach a lesson, it is completely ineffectual

Children should never be physically abused. You're right. But I don't think genuine spanking constitutes as abuse. I never thought it did as a child.

Children need discipline that they can get through their head, in one form or another(as long as it is not abuse). There are way too many kids out there these days that don't listen to anybody says or does, and basically live life as little tyrants that think the world revolves around them.

 

[Geogaddi]

But seriously, my parents did spank me, but only three or four times in my whole life. I learned quickly not to do those things. I am now a very well rounded individual. I probably wouldn't have been a juvenile delinquent or anything had they not spanked me though, it just comes down to being an idiot or not.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Spanking isnt the answer. take away their most prized thing. Which is probobly games.

 

[CptStern]

Children should never be physically abused. You're right. But I don't think genuine spanking constitutes as abuse. I never thought it did as a child.

any physical punishment is abuse

Physical abuse is abuse involving contact intended to cause pain, injury, or other physical suffering or harm.

now obviously that's a little general but for the sake of arguement I define physical corporal punishment as in the example above. Any infringement on rights is an abuse ..If I were to slap you, you could charge me with assualt

Children need discipline that they can get through their head, in one form or another(as long as it is not abuse). There are way too many kids out there these days that don't listen to anybody says or does, and basically live life as little tyrants that think the world revolves around them.

disciple is not exclusively meted out by physical punishment. It far easier to slap a kid who's misbehaving (and I suppose you'd follow up with an explanation as to why you felt striking a child was warrented) than it is to teach dsiciple through example/modeling/just talking to the child in question. For example with my 3 yr old I try not to use the word "dont" (dont so this/that )because it's giving him a direct challenge and more often than not he will do exactly the opposite of what I asked him not to do ..the answer is to redirect the behaviour by pointing out the consequences of their actions .."I dont want you to touch the electrical outlet because you'll get hurt" ..almost always followed by "oh ok daddy" ....2 days later he'll say something along the lines of "daddy doesnt want me to touch that because I might hurt"

I will never hit my kids ..it serves no purpose except as a release for my frustration/anger

oh btw I was spanked as a kid and I didnt turn out bad ...but that's not the point

 

[Raziaar]

I will never hit my kids ..it serves no purpose except as a release for my frustration/anger

oh btw I was spanked as a kid and I didnt turn out bad ...but that's not the point

Not all people use spanking as a purpose to release frusteration/anger. That's so silly to believe everybody works exactly the same way.

And just because a parent spanks, doesn't mean they are incapable of performing the things you speak of with your son. That is a good method, but it is not one way or the other... A combination can be used, and are used by many. My family used several different methods.

I don't agree that spanking is in all circumstances the best method, and shouldn't be used for little things, but I also don't think it is a bad method when used responsibily and without anger.

It's not a reflex stern... kid does something bad and you spank them... it is a process that is pre-meditated about and weighed in the thoughts about whether it should be used, and for what purpose. Though I know not everybody does that... it does happen.

Those people who just spank their kid every time they do something, as a honed reflex... or who do it with excessive force, that's just bad.

 

[CptStern]

I dont see why you couldnt accomplish what you wanted without spanking ..I mean even if you do reinforce why they've been spanked all a child will remember is the pain/humiliation ..not necessarily the lesson behind it

and it is either, or ..you either spank or you dont

 

[Raziaar]

and it is either, or ..you either spank or you dont

Well obviously it's the case for that... but not for your method of teaching. That's what I was trying to get across. People who spank aren't lacking the other options... and they do use them.

 

[Qonfused]

 

[ktimekiller]

Do you guys realize that this is one hell of an old thread? why was it revived?

 

[Geogaddi]

Do you guys realize that this is one hell of an old thread? why was it revived?

See above post. Above you that is.

 

[Stigmata]

See above post. Above you that is.

Reason enough

 

[Que-Ever]

No, I don't believe in spankings. Closed fists are much better.

 

[Ravioli]

Never, mostly because the country i come from its illigal to even tuch your children in a violent way. Lets say a dad spanks his kid...he gets like, 2-5 years in jail i think. Can some swede here get some info? im to lazy.

Spanking ur own children is sick...just talk reason into them instead.