Help with a girl

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I'm not saying to pre plan jokes. I never do..in fact I never really pre plan conversations and it always works out great for me

It's great for when you're trying to subtly gather information, or when you need to make somebody say something.

As far as the "hints" Glirk is talking about, don't let them go to your head. Take them for what they are, and that's largely inconsequential bits of information. They really aren't worth much anyway, unless you really know the person and their mannerisms really well. One girl's "hints" are another girl's daily conversation pieces.

Btw, Lambda, how good would you say your friendship is between you two?

Casual acquaintances? Hang out often? Damn near brother sister?
 
As far as the "hints" Glirk is talking about, don't let them go to your head. Take them for what they are, and that's largely inconsequential bits of information. They really aren't worth much anyway, unless you really know the person and their mannerisms really well. One girl's "hints" are another girl's daily conversation pieces.

You would be very very surprised actually. There have been studies that show when a girl is sitting and touching her knee it means she is open to be touched(not sexually). They had a whole list of things like this, except I can't find anything on google because searching for womens hints doesn't turn up any of the subtle things she does...mostly just discusses what she really means when she says "I'm fine" which isn't what I am talking about at all. Basically women subconsciously do certain things when they feel a certain way. It's just like how most people look up when they don't know an answer.
 
You would be very very surprised actually. There have been studies that show when a girl is sitting and touching her knee it means she is open to be touched(not sexually). They had a whole list of things like this, except I can't find anything on google because searching for womens hints doesn't turn up any of the subtle things she does...mostly just discusses what she really means when she says "I'm fine" which isn't what I am talking about at all. Basically women subconsciously do certain things when they feel a certain way. It's just like how most people look up when they don't know an answer.

But it won't do anything for your confidence to follow these hints religiously.

You should make moves on her because it feels right to you. Not because these little hints she tosses at you say it's ok for you to.

I don't look up when I don't know an answer :/
 
But it won't do anything for your confidence to follow these hints religiously.

You should make moves on her because it feels right to you. Not because these little hints she tosses at you say it's ok for you to.

I don't look up when I don't know an answer :/

I completely agree that it doesn't help your confidence when you really get into it. I honestly hate myself right now. Mostly because my room mate is doing the girl I have had a crush on for a couple years cause I never made a move cause she had a bf. I hate life, but reading girls can help direct your conversation. It can suck if you become pecimistic cause then you read everything wrong. I guess you gotta find what works for you...even if it's a PJ movie night to seal the deal after getting her to warm up to you after a few dates. Arg...more people need to post. Im stuck in my room with only hl2.net to post on. I hate my life, I am gonna go cry in the corner.
 
I completely agree that it doesn't help your confidence when you really get into it. I honestly hate myself right now. Mostly because my room mate is doing the girl I have had a crush on for a couple years cause I never made a move cause she had a bf. I hate life, but reading girls can help direct your conversation. It can suck if you become pecimistic cause then you read everything wrong. I guess you gotta find what works for you...even if it's a PJ movie night to seal the deal after getting her to warm up to you after a few dates. Arg...more people need to post. Im stuck in my room with only hl2.net to post on. I hate my life, I am gonna go cry in the corner.

(pessimistic btw)

YES. I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS.

As I said, it's just casual information that'll indicate mood at best.
 
(pessimistic btw)

YES. I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS.

As I said, it's just casual information that'll indicate mood at best.

Not always...it can show interest or disinterest which is what I usually look for most. It can also show you what she likes and doesn't like in terms of conversation and jokes which can help you as well. Also it leaves you room to make a smooth cover up if you screw up where lots of guys would be stuck at screwed. It has its advantages but also disadvantages because its easy to lose your confidence and become pecimistic which ruins things for you. That happens to me too often it seems.

Oh....I am suprised no one has said this yet. Confidence is huge...make a list of all the things you enjoy in your life, all the things that bring you down and find a way to fix all of them. As stupid as it sounds I went from being very depressed/down all because I was uncertain of my life and thought I would be stuck not going to college and working crummy jobs the rest of my life. It bothered me a lot and I eventually found a career that I could achieve that I would absolutely love to get involved with the only problem was college. I know that I wouldn't be able to pay for college and live on my own without working 2 jobs which would leave no time for school so I figured I would join the military as they have great benefits and teach you a lot about yourself and the world if thats something you can do. After I figured that all out and got the ball rolling my whole world felt great and I had so much confidence. So basically, figure out what you need to do to be happy and confident and work to achieve that. However that might also not be an issue for you because I don't know you. In any case...confidence is gonna be your best friend when it comes to girls.
 
But it won't do anything for your confidence to follow these hints religiously.

You should make moves on her because it feels right to you. Not because these little hints she tosses at you say it's ok for you to.

I don't look up when I don't know an answer :/
No you shouldn't d it when it feels alright for you. You escalate, yes, but never out of her comfort levels.
 
Yeah I agree...it's always a hard call when you start to get emotionally attached. Life sucks that way and theres not much you can do. This is exactly why it helps being able to read the subtle signs girls give off so you can tell if your wasting your time and you can end it before you get too far in or keep trying if you need to.

On the other hand, just because the girl isn't giving off those positive signs at first, doesn't mean she won't be doing so later on.

Just try not to get too emotionally attached. I've been there (perhaps even am now) and I realised how important it is to try and keep an emotional distance. May not be what you want, but hurts less in the end.
 
You really wanna know what love is?

It's really quite simple.

It's kinda like...

Gonna find my baby gonna hold her tight,
gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been, "When it's right, it's right"
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?

Take it, Eejit!

When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
And you know the night is always gonna be there anyway.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.



(Sorry dude, I left after that post :p)
 
(S'alright man, you came back and finished it :LOL:)

So you instantly assume that girls who like having a secret admirer aren't worth your time? Generalizing works great.
I have a couple problems with the "secret admirer" thing. Now I know that some girls might dig that, but most of those girls aren't my type.

I mean first off it's so kiddy, y'know? It seems like a world away in terms of maturity. Secret admirers and candygrams anonymously; you might as well be crafting yourself a construction paper valentine box to hang off your desk like in the second grade. The fact that it's "SECRET" already puts you in the hole; she don't know it's from you and her mind'll be wandering all over the place to who it COULD be. It COULD have come from that guy, it COULD have come from that guy, ooh I hope it came from THAT guy. That's what you don't want.

You want to give her a gift? Well you better know her first, you better get to know her and be on good and progressive relations with her. And then you make sure the gift is appropriate and tailored to her, not some generic roses. Preferably something small and relatively inexpensive so not as to make her think you're setting up a binding contract with expensive gifts. And then you take it and you place it somewhere you know she'll find it, and you make sure she knows it was from you. You can give gifts but you never want to start out being "Oooooh, secret admirer!"

I don't even dig on women that'd get down on that. The women I like would be more like, "F*ck, this guy's a pussy if he can't come out and tell me he likes me."


I would really not suggest asking out a girl you talked to for 10 seconds. A lot of girls will get weirded out that some random guy is asking them on a date. They don't even know you. I would suggest talking to them for a little while so they know they can trust you and then ask to hang out
"They don't even know you." That's the point, man. What's a date? It's a chance to have a one-on-one setting with a woman and getting to know her, her getting to know you. Of course she doesn't know you, that's why you're going out. Come on, now. :LOL:

But you have to be direct. You can't start roping a girl under false pretenses. You can't let her start thinking that this is friend zone; you let her know your intentions. Now when I say that and when I say ask her out, I don't mean 'within 10 seconds.' When I say, 'be direct' I don't mean, 'say hello and then immediately ask her out.' That's folly. That's how you DON'T get dates.

Looks like I have to break it down.

Alright first, you mostly want to look for women in places you hang out, reason being that you've already got something in common. You like jazz? Go to a jazz bar. You like books? Go to the bookstore. You like the arcade? Go to--well good luck there mate. Although there was one time...well, the point is that you want to go somewhere with common interest. You know why, it's because it makes setting up a conversation easier when you can comment on a hobby or something rather than anything about her personally.

So you lean back just slightly. Not like you were in a gale wind, but just a little so you don't make her feel like you're crowding her. Don't fold your arms. Assume relaxed posture, natural. And then you start talking. And don't hit her with lines and pre-planned jokes and shit, just have a dynamic, natural conversation. I'm not even going to get into telling you how to do that, it'd take too long; but I will say that it's the same as talking to a friend, but you want to put a spin on it so that she knows (as I said before) that you aren't friend zone.

And you're having a conversation and it's lively and you probably will be laughing and joking, and it's all, "Oh that's interesting," and "Hey, me too!" and you get on like that for awhile. Now see me, if I'm looking for a date I usually do it at two times: mid-morning, and the afternoon.

"Why's that, Darkside?"

Because, son, she probably hasn't eaten yet and neither have you. So what time is it? Hey, 12/5 o'clock.

"Have you eaten anything yet? Me neither. Wanna grab a bite?"

You can even throw in, "My treat" and be a gentleman, but maybe in some cases you don't want to do that. That's discretion. Some women don't like that, some do.

Umm...ok so do you ever use humor? Or are you going to talk to every date about what you ate for breakfast. That works very well to establish long term relationships. No one needs fun.
It's like Sinko said man, you don't want to keep a roll of quips in your head. I know you said you don't, but man it sure sounded like it and that's why I was dogging you.

"You can eat whatever you want, but we might have to rob a bank later."

Dude that sounds like three things:

1. "Ha-HA! I got JOKES!"
2. "They ain't really funny."
3. "I'm also broke-ass."

You want situational humor that rolls with the flow of the convo. You don't want these hamcrafted lines that make you sound corny. You want her to think you're funny, not like you just failed clown college.

The majority of jokes you would say to a girl matter mostly on presentation and you already have a pre disposal to despise anything I write meaning you won't ever find anything I say funny. I challenge you to write something much much better that will relieve an akward pause after asking someone out.
I don't have a predisposal; I'm commenting on the things you said. Presentation and delivery is one thing, but you can't wrap up shit and call it a fabulous prize. And I'm not trying to be mean, like I told Little Boy Bluehair--who seems to have abandoned this thread entirely--but I'm just saying man. A joke like that isn't wit. Wit is quick, wit is spontaneous, wit is...wit IS, and what you did is what wit AIN'T.

And you don't want to have awkward pauses after asking someone out in the first place. That says, "I've done something wrong."

Covering that up with a joke says, "I'm trying to save face."

You don't want either of those things to happen. Awkward pause? Let it be awkward. Or give her the, "Come on" with a half-smile.

I have been saying the whole time that he needs confidence I have always said that is one of the biggest factors. But there is way more than confidence...you need to look attractive to them(not "hot" but merely attractice) and have a sense of humor.
But first and foremost he needs confidence. You can't even begin to ask people out if you're not comfortable doing so. You can't be making jokes. You have to be direct and ask. Otherwise you know what you look like?

"I have jokes as a security measure, let me ask you out with my head down or glancing in all directions and I don't know where to put my hands and I got no confidence at all but I got jokes."

Humor is valuable, I never said it isn't and I never will. But right now all he needs to do is grab his penis and tell himself he's a man. It's like Sinko said, "You are the f*cking KING, it's a PRIVILEGE for her to talk to you."

I am curious why being a "man" is so important. What is it that makes someone a "real man"? Cause honestly I think thats a bunch of bullshit. No one needs to try to "become a man" they just need to improve themselves.
See I still don't think you understand what it is to be a man. You're confusing it with being manLY. Being a man isn't about machismo. Being a man is to believe in yourself, to own up and not shrink down. Improving yourself IS part of being a man.

Also the PJ movie night isn't meant for a first date, it's after you have gotten the ball rolling and it works wonders. I suggest some of you try it and see how your girlfriend reacts. You can't simply pass something off cause it seems "childish". A lot of you seem to be disilusioned that dates are restricted to some fancy dinner and a movie. That's so cliche your not going to impress any girl. You need creativity and apparently darkside thinks my idea is horrible so I am wondering what creative date ideas you have that aren't childish.
I'm sorry man I just can't get behind it. It's pajamas. I don't even OWN pajamas. Creativity's tailored, by the way; you don't want these blanket "this is an interesting idea, let me run it by her" things. It's canned. Maybe it worked for you but...damn.

So creative ideas are just things that you might come up with tailored to you and your date's interests. Date ideas I've had...well, took someone on a night on the town with a jazz show once. Another girl, moonlight picnic at Shakespeare in the Park. Once took a girl to Jack London Square on a ferry ride. A lot of times I've just cooked a meal in and we watch a movie or listen to some old LPs. Sans pajamas. Those were some of my favorites, but those aren't like, "Pull these out whenever" kind of things. They're a bit more spontaneous, and like I said it's tailored. Once I had a date with a girl in a hotel arcade and we spent the whole night on dancing and fighting games, and we ordered pizza to the hotel, haha (we weren't even staying there, we just had them bring it in). Can't take just anyone to something like that, you know.

(oh...do note darkside that my arguing is nothing personal...I don't mean to offend)
Yeah man, me neither. Like I said I might come off as abrasive but I'm not doing it vindictively. Still <3, Glirk. :cheers:
 
(S'alright man, you came back and finished it :LOL:)


I have a couple problems with the "secret admirer" thing. Now I know that some girls might dig that, but most of those girls aren't my type.

back in university I briefly worked in the mail room at Esso head office ..someone left me a note saying I looked good in a certain pair of jeans and should wear them more often along with other tight pants ..there wasnt anyone who worked there that was remotely my age ..I was curious but a bit freaked out and suspected everyone (espcially that older woman in accounting who I wouldnt have minded buffing the office floor with). Anyways I never did ind out who it was but I remember a coworker (who was in his 50's ) show me nude photos of his girlfriend in the tub ..god knows why but I guess maybe he sent the note ( x: ) or knows who did cuz birds of a feather ..etc

secret admirers can be something that is flattering or it can be creepy ...I tend to think its mostly creepy

anways back to reading your phonebook of an eassay. man you make me look brief by comparison



Darkside55 said:
I'm sorry man I just can't get behind it. It's pajamas. I don't even OWN pajamas.

i completely disagree ..no belts to fumble with no buttons to grope with ..it's all easy access for lovin ..pajamas + movie + bottle of wine/chocolate strawberries = guarenteed sex
 
I sleep in a t-shirt and underwear most of the time. I have no use for pajamas.

Also, phonebook? That's one of me shorter posts, Stern!
 
not if I poke my brain with a pointy stick first, ah-ha jokes on you ..oh wait
 
I sleep in a t-shirt and underwear most of the time. I have no use for pajamas.

Also, phonebook? That's one of me shorter posts, Stern!

I win, I only wear boxers, no t-shirt! Sometimes even nude.
 
There aren't many times on Halflife2.net when you can declare a thread a success. This is one time, though. Good for you, Bluehair.

You even delivered the roses in person. Damn good for you. Let us know how it goes tomorrow.

Eejit said:
I win, I only wear boxers, no t-shirt! Sometimes even nude.
I go without a shirt in summer. Too cold right now.

You got me with sleeping nude though, I can't do that. I need support!
 
I go without a shirt in summer. Too cold right now.

You got me with sleeping nude though, I can't do that. I need support!

Too cold? Pussy, this is Scotland and I go without a shirt in winter. Real men explore the arctic wearing only a pair of batman socks.

The mattress doesn't give support?
 
No I'm back.


I gave her the roses and she thought it was sweet :)

I'm going to ask her out tomorrow

always strike when the fire is hot ...if timed right you could have parlayed it into nakedness ..now the best you can hope for is a cuddle/peck on the cheek
 
I remember my final valentines day in high-school (last year I think it was), and one of my friends gave a girl a bunch of roses, and she turned him down.
Man he was gutted. They were good friends though so that might have been it.
 
Valentines day sucks.

Ya, i havent gotten anything for my GF yet...i have about 6 hours to think of something good. I got her flowers and built her a computer...decent gift.

screw corporate holidays
 
Darkside...your seriously underestimating humor and having a plan for the night. Whenever I make plans for a date I lay out plans for the night. Not in detail...but things like meeting for coffee, going to the store to buy things to make cookies and rent a movie so you can eat cookies and watch a movie. I don't plan it much more than that, but having a general idea of how the night will go will avoid meeting for coffee and then not knowing what to do next. I don't rely on split second decisions to plan my dates...it won't always work and you will get stuck saying "idk" and having you date end early and having her realize your no fun.

Second humor is huge when it comes to girls. Humor shows intelligence and jelps her warm up and become interested in you. If you seem fun thats going to make her more into you as girls want to have fun with their guys. They don't want some man that takes them out to dinner all the time and talks about politics. That will bore them every time and it won't last long. Also...don't act like the joke police. I can guarantee that if a girl was into you and I said my joke she would laugh before I was even done saying it because she was into me...not because it's the funniest thing in the world. That is a great sign and is exactly what you want to happen.

I am not saying your wrong...it's just I go about getting girls in a completely different way that I have a lot of success with. I tend to like to know girls a bit more because I have been with enough to know that there's not a single normal girl out there. They are all weird and crazy in some way so I like to know them a bit so I can make sure they aren't going to eat my eyeballs while I sleep.


Good job Lambda! That's a very good sign and you have a great chance. Ask her out and go on the date and have fun man. Don't worry about sealing the deal or anything...just have fun on the date and it will go great.
 
Valentines day sucks.

Ya, i havent gotten anything for my GF yet...i have about 6 hours to think of something good. I got her flowers and built her a computer...decent gift.

screw corporate holidays

YEAH MAN

DOWN WITH THE GOVERNMENT!

I like valentines day, everyone is always happy and shit.
 
I hate valentines day. Why should a day be set aside to do something romantic? People should be doing it already?

Oh wait..valentines day is guaranteed sex...if your not single. Damnit!
 
Second humor is huge when it comes to girls. Humor shows intelligence and jelps her warm up and become interested in you. If you seem fun thats going to make her more into you as girls want to have fun with their guys. They don't want some man that takes them out to dinner all the time and talks about politics. That will bore them every time and it won't last long.

totally agree ..especially the part about Jelping

Also...don't act like the joke police. I can guarantee that if a girl was into you and I said my joke she would laugh before I was even done saying it because she was into me...not because it's the funniest thing in the world. That is a great sign and is exactly what you want to happen.

again, agreed ..sometimes the lamer a joke is the better, so long as you dont take it seriously and follow up with a joke about how lame it is ..it can work to your benefit


I think Darkside needs to put down the Transformers dvd and watch Casablanca or The Philadelphia Story or To Have and Have Not just for the dialogue alone ..bogart could teach you a thing or two about humor as flirting
 
YEAH MAN

DOWN WITH THE GOVERNMENT!

I like valentines day, everyone is always happy and shit.

You're a girl, you are supposed to like Valentines day. You get stuff, while guys frantically try and find last minute crap for their gf's/wives.

I have it the worst, her birthday, valentines day, and our anniversary is all in a matter of 8 days.
 
Darkside...your seriously underestimating humor and having a plan for the night. Whenever I make plans for a date I lay out plans for the night. Not in detail...but things like meeting for coffee, going to the store to buy things to make cookies and rent a movie so you can eat cookies and watch a movie. I don't plan it much more than that, but having a general idea of how the night will go will avoid meeting for coffee and then not knowing what to do next. I don't rely on split second decisions to plan my dates...it won't always work and you will get stuck saying "idk" and having you date end early and having her realize your no fun.
I'm not underestimating humor. It's the type of humor.

I too plan ahead, but not to a very fine degree. A lot of times it comes down to, "This is going on right now, let's do that." Shows or concerts or just random things she might be in the mood for. Or I plan if I'm going to cook for a date, y'know...I'll think, "I'm going to make this tonight" and pick up groceries. But a big part is spontaneity; that works well for me. I usually don't get hung up on, "I don't know what to do next," because if it ever comes down to that, you improvise. Out on the town and don't know where to go next? Don't worry about it; take a stroll and get some time to talk with your date.

Second humor is huge when it comes to girls. Humor shows intelligence and jelps her warm up and become interested in you. If you seem fun thats going to make her more into you as girls want to have fun with their guys. They don't want some man that takes them out to dinner all the time and talks about politics. That will bore them every time and it won't last long. Also...don't act like the joke police. I can guarantee that if a girl was into you and I said my joke she would laugh before I was even done saying it because she was into me...not because it's the funniest thing in the world. That is a great sign and is exactly what you want to happen.
As I said man, I'm not downplaying humor. Dude...you're talking to me, here; I'm a joker. You make it sound like I'm hating on humor and devaluing it in a relationship; I'm not. But I can't help playing the humor police--some things just aren't funny. The girl might laugh, but it's gonna be, "Oh, haha, that's really cute." She's going to be laughing because you made the ATTEMPT, the attempt at humor to impress her and show that funny side. I can't imagine anyone who'd be like, "Hahaha, oh my God, rob a bank to pay for food I am in stitches!" You say that's what you want to happen; that's what you DON'T want to happen. It's not endearing, it's sad. That's the kind of shit a girl will get on the phone with her friends about and be like,

"Ooh girl I really like him; he's cute and nice, but his jokes suck. But that's okay."

No disrespect but the only time I'd ever pull a joke like that is as a yardstick, like if I said it and my date actually, genuinely laughed at it...no call back. NO call back. I'm not even gonna tell you to wait by the phone; woman it's over. You're a poor judge of humor. I can't be seen with you.

I am not saying your wrong...it's just I go about getting girls in a completely different way that I have a lot of success with. I tend to like to know girls a bit more because I have been with enough to know that there's not a single normal girl out there. They are all weird and crazy in some way so I like to know them a bit so I can make sure they aren't going to eat my eyeballs while I sleep.
I guess it boils down to the fact that we have completely opposite ways of going about getting dates, but it works for us. I can't understand how some of that stuff works for you; you probably don't get how I can get dates by just walking up and asking. It's Ultraviolet; we come from worlds the other might not understand.

But the one thing, the ONE THING we can agree on...women are crazy. They're crazier than a three-dollar bill made out of peanuts, and man there ain't no rhyme nor reason to a woman so you do what you can to figure one out for as long as you can, until she unhinges and becomes a completely different person. And on that we agree, so respeck knuckles.

Too cold? Pussy, this is Scotland and I go without a shirt in winter. Real men explore the arctic wearing only a pair of batman socks.

The mattress doesn't give support?
I will admit I am the biggest puss when it comes to the cold. It destroys me; even the slightest cold is a potential killer. I'm a guy who wears a black leather jacket in 110-degree (fahrenheit) weather; the cold's my bane.

^5 for Batman socks.

And naw man, my nethers need support. The matress can't do that.



Also Stern I've watched Casablanca. I'm not dismissing humor. I dunno how people came to that conclusion; FFS, this is Darkside you're talking about. Darkside, humor? Come on people. Y'all act like you don't know me after four years on this board.
 
I think of the Fibonacci sequence when I have sex. No idea why.

-Angry Lawyer
 
1. 1. 2. 3. 5. 8. 13. 21. 34. OHMIGAD 55!

I'm not having sex right now, sadly.

-Angry Lawyer
 
After reading those numbers, I got hard.
Mostly because I was thinking of your avatar having sex.
And the numbers are very attractive.
Also, I got nothing this Valentine's Day. Except $50 from my Grandma, but that doesn't count.
:(
 
Also, I got nothing this Valentine's Day
:(

How old are you...
I mean, are you out of school?

I'm not fussing about anymore relationships until I'm in uni; you should the same. Otherwise it f*cks over school work and your head pops off.
 
I will admit I am the biggest puss when it comes to the cold. It destroys me; even the slightest cold is a potential killer. I'm a guy who wears a black leather jacket in 110-degree (fahrenheit) weather; the cold's my bane.

Oh, admit you just look badass in a black leather jacket.
 
My school work is ****ed over anyway.
XD
Anyway, doesn't matter; I gave out some candy, woohoo!
That I can't eat since I got my braces tightened...
:|
I would've eaten all of it myself.
 
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