Help with a girl

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I don't know if you've anything besides sending those roses or not yet, but if you'd like some down to earth advice here's my take on it:

Most people have gone through the whole "I like her but I dunno if she likes me" thing. I went through it, and it sucks, sometimes. The thing is, what sucks the most is looking back once you have a little more experience under your belt and thinking "Man, was I an idiot for not asking her out" because trust me, being rejected a few times isn't nearly as bad as thinking back and wondering about "What if...?"

Seriously, there has been some decent advice given in this thread here and there, but you kinda have to fish it out. Darkside isn't completely right but he does have the idea as far as being confident is concerned. Confidence does a lot for you, this is why guys in relationships get hit on even when they aren't looking. Happens a lot to me, a lot of girls will just hit on me more now than they used to and it's all because of confidence and personality. You have to stop worrying about finding a girlfriend and just relax and enjoy the ride. There's no timer on how old you have to be before you get a girlfriend, its not a rite of passage, its not something you do to be cool or become a man, its just something you find along the way as you go through life.

You also can't just go up to random girls and spew out pickup lines and conversation openers and expect girls to jump your bones. I've gone up to random girls I thought were cute and started conversations with them. Its a good way to meet new people and build confidence in yourself and get past all your nervousness, but its not a good way to find a date because girls will automatically be very confused as to why a total stranger just walked up and started talking to them. It goes well if you handle it well, but it simply will not work on all girls.

What does work is being funny. You have no idea how important humor is, you'll find that funny guys are surrounded by girls even if they aren't exactly good looking. Heck, I have very few guy friends but I have a lot of female friends who I can make laugh on a daily basis. And yes, if I didn't have a girlfriend I loved and I was single and looking again, I'd definitely be able to get with some of my friends.

So really though, my advice is to GO FOR IT. Go talk to her, don't declare your feelings for her outright (this creeps the ladies out) but also don't hide them to the point where they don't know what you want. Flirt with them, touch them playfully (touching makes a relationship more personal), compliment them on their looks. A great time to do this is when they make some comment on how they're out of shape or whatever (all girls no matter how hot they are will say this at some point).

Do not "pour your heart out" though! Its true that dating is a game, a game most of us would rather not play. You have to play it though, even if you do it your own way, because people in general get off on the thrill of uncertainty and it IS exciting to get word from her friends that "she really likes you" and whatnot.

Just be careful and don't expect too much. She might not like you back, and that's gonna suck a lot, but you'll get over it. Just try to hang out with her a lot. If you don't already, make sure you hang out by yourselves every once in a while and just have fun (so she considers the idea of dating you) and make sure to keep it light and fun. Gauge out her feelings towards you during this time, and if you start thinking she might feel the same way about you, then ask her out on a date officially.

Best of luck, keep us posted!
 
It's more an effort to make me less of a shitty lay. Distracting myself, and the like.

-Angry Lawyer
 
She wasn't in school today.

Is this a bad sign or am i just getting paranoid? :(

Also thanks for the advice Rico.

I can't believe this got to 12 pages :O
 
AHA-Lambda said:
She wasn't in school today.

Is this a bad sign or am i just getting paranoid? :(

Also thanks for the advice Rico.

I can't believe this got to 12 pages :O
Click to expand...

Srsly, I don't think any girl out there has the audacity to skip school just because some guy they don't like starts hitting on them.

Paranoia fo sho.
 
Seems like youre becoming obsessed with one girl. Dont. Itll make you sick.

Noticing and worrying about the fact she's not in school one day..is that in the stalker's handbook?
 
AHA-Lambda said:
She wasn't in school today.

Is this a bad sign or am i just getting paranoid? :(

Also thanks for the advice Rico.

I can't believe this got to 12 pages :O
Click to expand...

jebus, dont go all paranoid, give her some breathing room, nothing turns off a person like someone who's overly eager (although a mustache/pirate patch covering an empty socket is kinda a turnoff too)
 
CptStern said:
jebus, dont go all paranoid, give her some breathing room, nothing turns off a person like someone who's overly eager (although a mustache/pirate patch covering an empty socket is kinda a turnoff too)
Click to expand...

thread fusion eh? clever devil...
 
Llama said:
...987, 1597, 2584, 1597, 2584, 4181, 6765, 10946, 17711, 28657, 46368, 75025, 121393, 196418, 317811, 514229, 832040, 1346269...

Hard yet? :naughty:
Click to expand...

I came.
 
AHA-Lambda said:
She wasn't in school today.

Is this a bad sign or am i just getting paranoid? :(

Also thanks for the advice Rico.

I can't believe this got to 12 pages :O
Click to expand...

Uh oh...take a deep breath man. Your getting too into this girl too fast and that is BAD. Your going to end up freaking out at something that isn't really a problem and is going to ruin everything. It has happened to me. Just act like you only care a little bit. Falling for a girl too fast is going to get you hurt a lot. So try to step back and play things cool. It's a lot easier to keep your confidence when you can put an emotional barrier in between your feelings when trying to hang out with her or else something won't go your way and it will all go downhill from there.

Carefull man...your steppin on thin ice and I don't wanna see you get hurt. Don't put her on a pedestal and keep your head clear to figure out whats best. Good luck man!
 
I'm in love.

I met this chick from Canada last night. I've never felt for anyone like I feel for her. It's not even all that sexual, I'm not too obsessed about getting inside her pants, I just wanna be around her.

What're the best tricks to play on Canadian girls, guys?
 
The Monkey said:
I'm in love.

I met this chick from Canada last night. I've never felt for anyone like I feel for her. It's not even all that sexual, I'm not too obsessed about getting inside her pants, I just wanna be around her.

What're the best tricks to play on Canadian girls, guys?
Click to expand...

Buy a blow up doll and with lipstick write "will you marry me?" and when you propose have a box with your wang in it and have her reach in to get the ring and ask her if she wants to have a 3 some with the doll for your honeymoon love makin.
 
BaggedMilk.jpg
 
I know this thread is old but I didn't think I should leave this hanging.

I asked her. She said no. I feel like crap now. ;(
 
I havent read the thread or anything but... have you had sex with her yet? If not, what's keeping you?

DO HER!
 
Three posts back he said he struck out with her. :(

YOU INSENSITIVE MONSTER
 
Just get into every relationship knowing full well that 1 month or a couple of years, it matters not, it will crash and burn and you'll end up exactly where you left off.

Seriously though, your young, I know its probably impossible, but don't invest too much emotion and self-worth into a relationship.
 
Trap a squirrel in your backyard, break its neck and stuff it. Then show it to her saying "Here, I made this for you, I want you to have it. No, I insist that you take it. I insist." whilst staring her in the eyes blankly.

It never fails. Nothing gets a girl going like a skillful taxidermist does.
 
Holy shit, has anything not been said in this long thread which I haven't looked at?

Just in case: ask her nonchalantly to have lunch with you sometime during the day. I like daylight outings with people because it is pleasant and bright and you spend all your time talking. The more you do it the more you get familiar with your locality and then you can say "I know a nice place to have lunch which is also cheap" which A. means you get a nice lunch which is also cheap, and B. makes you look experienced in the ways of, well, eating. Then if you get on really well you can ask her out for a drink. Wait, you can't, you're underage haha.

And if she is absolutely uninterested in you either as a friend or a lover, then she's lame anyway and don't bother talking to her. Most social ventures, handled well, tend to be win-win. If you succeed, you gain an acquaintance, a friend or more - and if you fail, you lose absolutely nothing.

Get out there! There is a world to win!
 
Sulk is getting delirious now that his powers have been drained.
 
While we're at it, I'm in the following situation:


Before I left for my first term at uni I became very good friends with a very nice girl - let us call her Geoff. I rather fancied her and I suspect she was not merely neutral towards me, but it never really came off. I emphasis at this point that if we never got together she'd still be a pretty great friend for the foreseeable futureu I imagine.

In the meantime, within the last two weeks, I met a lady who we shall name Hank, and, within the last week, have gone a little too far with her for any activities to be passed off as 'nothing'. Now, the other day, I meet up for a fairly standard holiday renunion with Geoff - who begins coming onto me pretty blatantly.

I quite like Hank and the lust is there but, personally, I don't know how long I'll be compelled to make it last. On the other hand, I am - socially? mentally? spiritually? very much in accord with Geoff, and if it had been a straight choice from a standing start I would have chosen her - but I don't know if I want to, or how early I want to, jeopardise the current proto-relationship.

Go go go helplife2.net! Could this really be a spirit/flesh dichotomy?
 
We've been over this already Sulkdodds. Hannah and Joan are not very good fictional names.
 
i once knew a girl who wasn't interested in me, because she didn't know me yet, so i was like oh well. and then i just forgot her.
 
wow just because this thread is well...this thread. I feel like saying this.
So I cheated on my girlfriend a few weeks back. Told her the other day. She didn't break up with me, and well.. shes more in love with me than ever. Ugh, girls. So fricken stupid.
 
Glirk Dient said:
I feel ya man. Decide right now if you want to go for her or try and forget. Does your friend have feelings for her? If not then you may have a chance. Just act confident and funny around her and don't try to act into her and wait until she begins getting a little flirty and flirt back with jokes or whatever works. Just don't get obsessive or weird.
Click to expand...


This ^


The minute you write to a forum about a girl... you already know the answer, you just want to be connected to her somehow so you are telling us about her. but it's fun. something to talk about.

if you don't just stop liking her you won't ever get her. Stop wanting her, and maybe you will be able to be yourself around her again and maybe she will like you again. Damn, if only I could take my own advice because I'm like you sometimes.


Most importantly, if you think that she only wanted to be friends, then you mustn't tell her you like her or anything like that because then she will begin to avoid you and be uncomfortable being your friend and you will never be able to win her over then for sure. Just be happy to see her, and be happy for even that one second that you spend talking with her because some other poor guy didn't even get that.

If you are getting crazy about her and just can't help it, then challenge yourself to not feel pain and not care about her; because strong survive. Strong willed. Dig deep. Do you really care? Is she the last girl on earth? No.

In reality she is just a girl who happened to be around you long enough to share some words and now you want to **** her.

Just think of ways you could get in that kind of situation again, on a trip with other girls so you can meet someone else. Join these events. Do things. (man this is good advice)


I don't know, I ****ing suck at relationships. Maybe you could try to eat a bunch of sugar or drink som beerz and get a buzz, and then just tell her you love her as you grab her and throw up and pass out, and maybe that will break the ice and then next time you see her...

whatever you do don't be uncomfortable around her. clear your mind. I have to be honest, the only times I've ever had success was when I was either very confident and having fun and playing around saying whatever came to mind, or when they actually came after me. Oh yeah, and also friends can help.

if you just continue with your goals in life as they were before you met her she will like that much more and will see you just living your life and she will be in your life sometimes, but if your entire world stops and you obsess about her then it's over for you.
 
Cole said:
wow just because this thread is well...this thread. I feel like saying this.
So I cheated on my girlfriend a few weeks back. Told her the other day. She didn't break up with me, and well.. shes more in love with me than ever. Ugh, girls. So fricken stupid.
Click to expand...

Heh, I like you.


Anyway, Sulk, keep covertly messing around with Hank, and pursue Geoff in your spare time. Not only will there be more benefits, the danger involved will make things goddamned fun.
 
Quite an array of feelings, here at halflife2.net. I can agree that the general consensus is to do rather than not to do. Life favors those who act, even recklessly.
 
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