Miscellaneous

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I shit a brick house this morning, so I got to leave school. Just woke up and I feel delishit.
 
Nice willie, i just took a mean one at work. The bathroom here is shared with some construction workers (until our new one is built) so I had to do the o'le toilet paper on the seat maneuver.
 
I hate that. You can feel that monster clawing its way out as you get near the bathroom and decides to use the battering ram as soon as you lay down the paper. Here's the deal though. I spent thirty minutes trying to shit, but no dice. So I had to suck it in because of class. Here's where the fun starts. I started feeling incredibly sick and right out of nowhere I vomit in my mouth in front of 14 other people. So I call my mom, I go home, and sleep for a few hours. I shat a ****ing monster of a horse gorilla kitten sandwhich pirate.
 
And what a beautiful segue we have into the 100th page of the Miscellaneous thread.
 
I cleaned up explosive diarrhea today at work. Today was also the first day I entered the ladies room.
 
You haven't heard the best part. There was blood in my shit. After a quick check one of the tiny little fajjots that pushed its way out of my asshole burned the inside of my ass and caused it to bleed. If I get an infection for this I swear to polar bears I will kick my own ass.

Pesmerga said:
I cleaned up explosive diarrhea today at work. Today was also the first day I entered the ladies room.
Click to expand...
Explain. Both of them.
 
Well, some woman had bowel troubles and exploded shit all over the stall walls.

Then she winked at me slyly, pulled me into the same stall, and we fvcked like dirty pigs.
 
After we were done, the hostess told me I had to clean the mess up with my tongue. She thanked me by giving me a blowjob in the kitchen. I panicked when I started to come, so I found an empty bowl and spilled my load into it. Later I found out someone had used the bowl to prep salad in.
 
Its page 38 you easily impressed twits.


*eats some salad*
 
When talking about pages or something like that it is only reasonable to go by the forum standard not your own customization settings. So it's 100 pages biatch.
 
Ennui said:
When talking about pages or something like that it is only reasonable to go by the forum standard not your own customization settings. So it's 100 pages biatch.
Click to expand...

Its not impressive until it reaches 100 pages under the most difficult circumstances!
 
Pesmerga said:
After we were done, the hostess told me I had to clean the mess up with my tongue. She thanked me by giving me a blowjob in the kitchen. I panicked when I started to come, so I found an empty bowl and spilled my load into it. Later I found out someone had used the bowl to prep salad in.
Click to expand...
That's our Pesh!
 
Me and two other guys pitched 2 dollars each for a box of 24 popsicles and ate them all.

Well, all but 3 of them. Some punk kid ran up and stole 6 or so. Turns out one of us knows him, so that one of us ran back and got him to give back 3.

It was pretty damned awesome.
 
Feeling bleak and empty. Porposeless. Even posting on page 100 probably won't help...
 
I love it when my bank charges me money for not having enough money! I just got charged $7.50 for having less than $100, plus another 7.50 for taking out some cash at an ATM, plus another $1.50 for having a debit card.

I now have 98 cents in my bank account.


I love banks!
 
Krynn72 said:
I love it when my bank charges me money for not having enough money! I just got charged $7.50 for having less than $100, plus another 7.50 for taking out some cash at an ATM, plus another $1.50 for having a debit card.

I now have 98 cents in my bank account.


I love banks!
Click to expand...

i loled really hard...tahnk you
 
KineticAesthetic said:
Yay, 100 pages!

edit - Shit.
Click to expand...
owned9wz.jpg
 
Krynn72 said:
I love it when my bank charges me money for not having enough money! I just got charged $7.50 for having less than $100, plus another 7.50 for taking out some cash at an ATM, plus another $1.50 for having a debit card.

I now have 98 cents in my bank account.


I love banks!
Click to expand...

$7.50 for withdrawal at an ATM? WTF?! I've never seen it cost more than $2.50...
 
When I withdraw money from the machine at my bank, I don't get charged anything.

Just sweet sweet profit in my hands! I win every time.
 
I just mixed frozen corn and cooked corn into the same bowl with some butter and pepper. If I don't wake up in 20 minutes, call a doctor.
 
Ennui said:
$7.50 for withdrawal at an ATM? WTF?! I've never seen it cost more than $2.50...
Click to expand...

Well, its for 5 withdrawls, but that 7.50 was charged by my own bank. I get charged 2.50 each time by the ATM for it, but since im 2,500 miles away from my bank, I have to use other bank's atm machines, which my banks charges me 1.50 extra for. So I took out money 5 times this month, which cost me $7.50 from my own bank, on top of the 12.50 that the ATMs charged me.
 
^ get a new bank.

I get free checks for life.
Free checking with no minimum balance (as long as it's greater than .01)
No charge for withdrawals of any kind
debit card


However, I still got ****ed because after about 2 years, I made a few mistakes and bounced like 13 checks in a month. I pleaded and they cut the fee in half, but it still cost me a few hundred dollars. arggg
 
Shit, why'd you write so many checks if you knew they'd all bounce?
 
That was the second post in the thread dude. It was more than a month ago when he posted that.
 
The forecast is for more snow? Low of 32?? What happened to spring? My catalpa just budded and it'll get cooked. The bike trails were just clearing up, too.
 
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