No girlfriend?

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Dax said:
As for the sex part, well there's always the Tenga Flip Hole you can succumb to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vo7tBpT7T0
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Dude ...
colon-D.gif
now I'm going to have nightmares of being dismembered by a clamping plastic jizzhole
 
I'd like to have a girlfriend but my wife wont let me
 
VirusType2 said:
I've come to the conclusion that girls do not make good girlfriends, unfortunately.

I've always thought of myself as the perfect boyfriend since I'm honest, faithful, nice, and thoughtful. I don't think this is what interests girls, after all. Maybe because it's all about the chase.

I guess you have to be a piece of shit asshole to maintain a relationship, because that's the only time it has worked out for me for any length of time.
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Nah man. Im a piece of shit. I don't have long relationship.

No but seriously it's true. But not really. It's not a rule, but girls are ****ing retarded.
Girls like to have a "boyfriend" who's super sweet and can hold her tampons. But then she want's a guy who can beat her up. I mean wtf?
 
Saturos said:
It's been approximately 1 year and 2 months since I dumped my last gf. I guess I shouldn't have been so selfish, but I got tired of the constant drama revolving around her family and friends.

I'm perfectly happy making love to myself for now. I'm starting to get lonely though.

My pecker isn't exactly a very interesting conversationalist nor is it very romantic, uhh so yeah, maybe it's time for me to find a new mate.
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17481f2769889.jpg
 
VirusType2 said:
I've come to the conclusion that girls do not make good girlfriends, unfortunately.

I've always thought of myself as the perfect boyfriend since I'm honest, faithful, nice, and thoughtful. I don't think this is what interests girls, after all. Maybe because it's all about the chase.

I guess you have to be a piece of shit asshole to maintain a relationship, because that's the only time it has worked out for me for any length of time.
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neptuneuk said:
In my experience yeah.... Why is this? It's completely backwards.
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Not backwards for me, I guess I just got lucky.
 
I have an ex who is a friend with benefits, kind of, I think....

I'm honestly not sure anymore, but I don't really care because it's fantastic.
 
Not only do I have a girlfriend, I have the BEST girlfriend. Suck it.

OR MAYBE I'LL HAVE HER DO IT
 
Baal said:
I have an ex who is a friend with benefits, kind of, I think....

I'm honestly not sure anymore, but I don't really care because it's fantastic.
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FWB is good until someone gets emotionally attached. Or the girl ends up hating herself and you need to call it off because you're not a complete asshole. Usually the latter. I say ride it out, no pun intended.

OR WAS IT
 
My ex just called crying because the guy she left me for broke up with her.

I lol'd.
 
I don't want anybody. The idea of coupling sickens me. The more you get to love someone else the less you live for you. I like me too much to do that to myself :p
 
Why do many guys hate having girlfriends? I talked to a few friends at school and they say it's not worth it because how girls act.
 
tesher06 said:
Why do many guys hate having girlfriends? I talked to a few friends at school and they say it's not worth it because how girls act.
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It is worth it, but it's sort of like a gamble, and it comes out even.

It's a gamble because, you might lose her, you might not. It comes out even because having a girl is the greatest, you feel awesome when your with a woman, but then if you break up it usually feels like it wasn't worth it.

So if you end up with a girl you don't break up with (marriage or whatever), then it's pretty much the perfect thing that can happen. But the longer you stay with her the worse it will be when/if you break up.

I dunno, in the end I think it always comes out even.
 
Holy shit Dog--, congrats. Laugh at that bitch for dumping and making you want to join the Army.

In fact I'd have recorded it and put it up on the internetz for us to here. *wink wink nudge nudge*
 
Maestro said:
Holy shit Dog--, congrats. Laugh at that bitch for dumping and making you want to join the Army.

In fact I'd have recorded it and put it up on the internetz for us to here. *wink wink nudge nudge*
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God dammit! She didn't make me join the army! I was going to but I ended up not doing it because I met her, then she broke up with me so I continued my plans! If anything make fun of me for not doing it sooner!
 
HAHA YOU BROKE OFF YOUR LIFETIME DREAMS FOR A GIRL...

*recalls last post*

...
 
evil^milk said:
I guess I must be apathetic or am a lazy person for not actively seeking a girlfriend.
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Pretty much this. I'm not constantly seeking like most guys I know irl. I'm not opposed to something happening, it just hasn't. Or I'm just blind to girl advances.
 
The way some guys act about it is pretty funny.

Like if you're walking down the street or driving or something and you spot a nice looking girl, they crane their ****ing necks trying to get every last second's worth of looking at her, then they have to elbow you in the ribs telling you what they'd do to her.

Thanks ****face, now I have the mental imagery of you naked and horny.
 
Danimal said:
The way some guys act about it is pretty funny.

Like if you're walking down the street or driving or something and you spot a nice looking girl, they crane their ****ing necks trying to get every last second's worth of looking at her, then they have to elbow you in the ribs telling you what they'd do to her.

Thanks ****face, now I have the mental imagery of you naked and horny.
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I hate when people do this. Oddly it's the neck-craning that annoys me the most. But I guess that's because I've learned to turn my ears off when they start going on about sticking their penila la la I'm going to play some Tool in my head that would sound nice
 
Personally I think Danimal dick sounds good. As long as it isn't that god damn monkey.
 
TollBooth Willie said:
Personally I think Danimal dick sounds good. As long as it isn't that god damn monkey.
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This made me think of a friend, who one day, with absolutely no provocation at all, told me the story of how he ****ed a yogurt cup.

On topic, i'm single because I suck at being a human being.
 
Rizzo said:
Nah man. Im a piece of shit. I don't have long relationship.

No but seriously it's true. But not really. It's not a rule, but girls are ****ing retarded.
Girls like to have a "boyfriend" who's super sweet and can hold her tampons. But then she want's a guy who can beat her up. I mean wtf?
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Ah, well shit -- maybe we could be a team. You beat her and I'll console her. You take the ass and I'll take the front.

Dog-- said:
My ex just called crying because the guy she left me for broke up with her.

I lol'd.
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If this ever happens again, before you break up, tell her, "he's going to hurt you.". Maybe that will put her in her place. Take her over-rated self esteem down a notch.


I have to get some dinner now, but tomorrow: The decades of research I've conducted on the female gender, I've found just one thing that actually works.

If you can get her to your house to hang out or chill, I'll teach you how to capitalize on the opportunity, to have her for whatever you want. It's not a magic code or someshit--you still have to have a lot of other things going for you, but if there is any chance at all, this little trick will close the deal.

Just order my book. It's only 1 page, but it's worth $9.99 Call now.

No, but seriously. Find out tomorrow!
 
VirusType2 said:
Ah, well shit -- maybe we could be a team. You beat her and I'll console her. You take the ass and I'll take the front.


If this ever happens again, before you break up, tell her, "he's going to hurt you.". Maybe that will put her in her place. Take her over-rated self esteem down a notch.


I have to get some dinner now, but tomorrow: The decades of research I've conducted on the female gender, I've found just one thing that actually works.

If you can get her to your house to hang out or chill, I'll teach you how to capitalize on the opportunity, to have her for whatever you want. It's not a magic code or someshit--you still have to have a lot of other things going for you, but if there is any chance at all, this little trick will close the deal.

Just order my book. It's only 1 page, but it's worth $9.99 Call now.

No, but seriously. Find out tomorrow!
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I assume your idea includes, ductape, date rape drugs, a bed, and some alcohol?.... a body bag a knife... and well yah haha lets no get to far ahead of ourselves you know? :LOL: jk.
 
^

Such an awkward, awkward joke.

Worse even before the edit.
 
As soon as I complained on this thread, everything started totally working out for some reason.
Let's try again!


My financial situation just isn't working out!
(waits)
 
TollBooth Willie said:
I always liked the idea of genocide towards white people. This will have to do until I get funding for my campaign.
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Oh hey so don't you have a girlfriend Willie? Maybe you should ask a girl out. Instead of being a pussy.
 
Emporius said:
Not if she still has her kidneys.
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Oh my, lol. I'm currently seeing someone that I met here at college and she's an absolute sweetheart, perhaps even too good for me. We're essentially opposites, but maybe that's why it works. Let me also echo the notion that it is sort of just something that happens--but those chances multiply if you become more active and confident.
 
I never understand why people say things like, "You're too good for me." You're saying, "I'm an undeserving person who isn't entitled to have nice things or things I have decided are beyond my own stature."
 
because it's letting you off easy. it's the george constanza line: "it's not you it's me". it's nice way of saying "I'm not that into you so maybe we should see other people""
 
By the way, I'm an undeserving person who isn't entitled to have nice things.
 
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