Post your best joke

There is, when you get addicted all your friends and loved ones get worried about you, then when you start stealing stuff to get pot because you can't get a job because your hight you end up in Jail and getting a miserable life to boot.
 
There isn't any proof to say that pot is physically addictive. It also tends to be pretty cheap.

It's not exactly good for you but it doesn't really turn you into a thieving scum bag either.
 
But it IS very anoyint to talk to someone who is high... and it is illegal...
 
Awww not another weed discussion, keep to the jokes, they are better :)
 
No, Sprafa, they're talking about BWD.

Pardon my ignorance, but what the hell is Ice, anyway?
 
How is a woman like billiards?
When the red's blocking the pink you go for the brown.
 
um, if you're doing this....."There is, when you get addicted all your friends and loved ones get worried about you, then when you start stealing stuff to get pot because you can't get a job because your hight you end up in Jail and getting a miserable life to boot."
you are a ****ing moron, not a pothead. In my experience potheads are too lazy and paranoid to go out stealing shit, and anyone who is stealing for pot must not have a job(cause if they do, then real problem lies in their budgeting) and if they don't have a job then they are most likely human waste anyways.
 
What's brown and sticky?

A stick!
 
Although the funniest joke I've seen for a while is actually a quote in someone's sig from IRC.

Guy 1: What should I give my sister for unzipping?
Guy 2: Um, 10 bucks?
Guy 1: ...No I mean like, WinZip?
 
whats green and sticky

a stick that someone painted green when they got bored!
 
What's bright yellow, has four legs, is six feet tall, and is incredibly dangerous?

A pair of six feet tall canaries with machineguns.
 
little bit sick



what is worse then 43 naked guys walking in a circle?







1 stops :O
 
One upon a time in a litle office somewhere in Dallas, Texas, a man walks up to a woman and says: "Your hair smells nice" - The woman, feeling offended, quickly runs to her superviser and tells him what had happened. The superviser responds: "What is wrong with someone telling you that your hair smells nice?" She says: "He is a midget!"
 
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

heh.
 
You're mommas so dumb, she heard it was chilly outside and she brought a bowl.

Ok that was dumb
 
What does it say on a blues players tombstone?

"I didn't wake up this mornin" :D:D

I have more, gotta get my book back off a mate, has all the best ones in it...
 
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Creeping penis.
Creeping penis who?
I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!
 
Two guys walk into a bar. One of them steps on a protruding hunk of rust-laden metal. He develops lockjaw and dies.
 
ankalar said:
Two guys walk into a bar. One of them steps on a protruding hunk of rust-laden metal. He develops lockjaw and dies.
Click to expand...

Thats not funny, thats life :(
 
nw909 said:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Creeping penis.
Creeping penis who?
I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!
Click to expand...

Sounds familiar. Family Guy? Futurama?

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to change it, and one not to change it ;)

Just rehashing jokes I put in other threads till I can find my book...
 
from irc:
(18:50:01) (Reaven1) What's the best thing about twenty eight year olds
(18:50:16) (Reaven1) There are twenty of them

Whats green, with 6 legs and can kill you when it falls from a tree?
A snooker table.

Whats white and can kill you if it hits you at 50mph?
A fridge.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on a ship?
Men get on the ship.

What do you do when an elephant comes through your window?
Run.
What do you do when an elephant comes through your window?
Swim.
 
PistolOnly said:
from irc:
(18:50:01) (Reaven1) What's the best thing about twenty eight year olds
(18:50:16) (Reaven1) There are twenty of them

Whats green, with 6 legs and can kill you when it falls from a tree?
A snooker table.

Whats white and can kill you if it hits you at 50mph?
A fridge.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on a ship?
Men get on the ship.

What do you do when an elephant comes through your window?
Run.
What do you do when an elephant comes through your window?
Swim.
Click to expand...
Dear god those suck :p

:LOL: actually, they did make me chuckle :)
 
an american went to an irish town and went into a pub. he announced that he'd give a reward of 1 million dollars to the irishman who could drink 10 pints of guinness in half an hour. one fellow put his hand up and said he could do it, but he needed to go somewhere first. so the american said ok you go ahead i'll wait here. the irishman went, and he came back 30 minutes later. he ordered 10 pints of guinness and downed them all within the half an hour limit. the american gave him the reward, but he was curious as to where he went for the 30 minutes. the irishman said that he went down the road to the other pub to check if he could do it first.


apologies for poor grammar, i've had a bit too much 'christmas cheer'.
 
*bumps* Need more jokes, lots of people here for christmas! :p
 
Jingle Bells,
Batman smells,
Robin flew away,
Father Christmas burnt his whiskers smoking Craven A.
 
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