The Arena

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Rabidmeatloaf's skull hits him in the skull (yes)
Rabidmeatloaf dies again and has a 500 post respawn timer for tking
 
/me gives a solid gold award for 'Caused Most Senseless Violence' to TDW.

/me gets a microphone and come up to TDW

Mitoboy: So you won an award The DemonWithin. What are you going to do next?

TDW: I am going to Disney World!

Mitoboy: To kill more mortals?

TDW: Damn straight!
 
/me wonders what this is all about and kills everyone for not using Monty Python Skits

* the Arena suddenly morphs into a military training facility

.....Colonel ( Zerimski ): get some discipline into those chaps, Sergeant Major!

Sargeant (Stone, shouting throughout): Right sir! Good evening, class.
All (mumbling): Good evening.
Sargeant: Where's all the others, then?
All: They're not here.
Sgt.: I can see that. What's the matter with them?
All: Dunno.
Spud (member of class): Perhaps they've got 'flu.
Sgt.: Huh! 'Flu, eh? They should eat more fresh fruit. Ha. Right. Now, self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend yourselves against anyone who attacks you with armed with a piece of fresh fruit.(Grumbles from all)Palin: Oh, you promised you wouldn't do fruit this week.
Sgt.: What do you mean?
The DemonWithin: We've done fruit the last nine weeks.
Sgt.: What's wrong with fruit? You think you know it all, eh?
MrBadger: Can't we do something else?
FarrowleSparrow (Welsh [yer revenge you]): Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?
Sgt.: Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me! Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit...
All: We done the passion fruit.
Sgt.: What?
Spud: We done the passion fruit.
MrBadger: We done oranges, apples, grapefruit...Jones: Whole and segments.
MrBadger: Pomegranates, greengages...
Spud: Grapes, passion fruit...
MrBadger: Lemons...
The DemonWithin: Plums...
Spud: Mangoes in syrup...
Sgt.: How about cherries?
All: We did them.
Sgt.: Red *and* black?
All: Yes!
Sgt.: All right, bananas.
(All sigh.)
Sgt.: We haven't done them, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.
MrBadger: Suppose he's got a bunch.
Sgt.: Shut up.
FarrowleSparrow: Suppose he's got a pointed stick.
Sgt.: Shut up. Right now you, Mr Apricot.
Spud: Spud.
Sgt.: Sorry, Mr. Spud. Come at me with that banana. Hold it like that, that's it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.)
Spud: Aaagh! (dies.)
Sgt.: Now, I eat the banana. (Does so.)
MrBadger: You shot him!
The DemonWithin: He's dead!
FarrowleSparrow: He's completely dead!
Sgt.: I have now eaten the banana. The deceased, Mr Apricot, is now 'elpless.
MrBadger: You shot him. You shot him dead.
Sgt.: Well, he was attacking me with a banana.
The DemonWithin: But you told him to.
Sgt.: Look, I'm only doing me job. I have to show you how to defend yourselves against fresh fruit.
FarrowleSparrow: And pointed sticks.
Sgt.: Shut up.
MrBadger: Suppose I'm attacked by a man with a banana and I haven't got a gun?
Sgt.: Run for it
The DemonWithin: You could stand and scream for help.
Sgt.: Yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe
The DemonWithin: A pineapple?
Sgt.: Where? Where?
The DemonWithin: No I just said: a pineapple.
Sgt.: Oh. Phew. I thought my number was on that one.
The DemonWithin: What, on the pineapple?
Sgt.: Where? Where?
The DemonWithin: No, I was just repeating it.
Sgt.: Oh. Oh. I see. Right. Phew. Right that's bananas then. Now the raspberry. There we are. 'Armless looking thing, isn't it? Now you, Mr Tin Peach.
The DemonWithin: The DemonWithin.
Sgt.: The DemonWithin, Come at me with that raspberry. Come on. Be as vicious as you like with it
The DemonWithin: No.
Sgt.: Why not?
The DemonWithin: You'll shoot me.
Sgt.: I won't.
The DemonWithin: You shot Mr. Spud.
Sgt.: That was self-defence. Now come on. I promise I won't shoot you.
FarrowleSparrow: You promised you'd tell us about pointed sticks.
Sgt.: Shut up. Come on, brandish that raspberry. Come at me with it. Give me Hell.
The DemonWithin: Throw the gun away.
Sgt.: I haven't got a gun.
Jones: You have.
Sgt.: Haven't.
The DemonWithin: You shot Spud with it.
Sgt.: Oh, that gun.
The DemonWithin: Throw it away
Sgt.: Oh all right. How to defend yourself against a redcurrant -- without a gun.
The DemonWithin: You were going to shoot me!
Sgt.: I wasn't.
The DemonWithin: You were!
Sgt.: No, I wasn't, I wasn't. Come on then. Come at me. Come on you weed! You weed, do your worst! Come on, you puny little man. You weed... (Sgt. pulls a lever in the wall--CRASH! a 16-ton weight falls on The DemonWithin)
The DemonWithin: Aaagh.
Sgt.: If anyone ever attacks you with a raspberry, just pull the lever and the 16-ton weight will fall on top of him.
MrBadger: Suppose there isn't a 16-ton weight?
Sgt.: Well that's planning, isn't it? Forethought.
MrBadger: Well how many 16-ton weights are there?
Sgt.: Look, look, look, Mr Knowall. The 16-ton weight is just one way of dealing with a raspberry killer. There are millions of others!
FarrowleSparrow: Like what?
Sgt.: Shootin' him?
MrBadger: Well what if you haven't got a gun or a 16-ton weight?
Sgt.: Look, look. All right, smarty-pants. You two, you two, come at me then with raspberries. Come on, both of you, whole basket each.
MrBadger: No guns.
Sgt.: No.
MrBadger: No 16-ton weights.
Sgt.: No.
FarrowleSparrow: No pointed sticks.
Sgt.: Shut up.
MrBadger: No rocks up in the ceiling.
Sgt.: No.
MrBadger: And you won't kill us.
Sgt.: I won't.
MrBadger: Promise.
Sgt.: I promise I won't kill you. Now. Are you going to attack me?
MrBadger & FarrowleSparrow: Oh, all right
Sgt.: Right, now don't rush me this time. Stalk me. Do it properly. Stalk me. I'll turn me back. Stalk up behind me, lose behind me, then in with the redcurrants! Right? O.K. start moving. Now the first thing to do when you're being stalked by an ugly mob with redcurrants is to -- release the tiger! (He does so. Growls. Screams.)
Sgt.: The great advantage of the tiger in unarmed combat is that he eats not only the fruit-laden foe but also the redcurrants. Tigers however do not relish the peach. The peach assailant should be attacked with a crocodile. Right, now, the rest of you, where are you? I know you're hiding somewhere with your damsons and prunes. Well I'm ready for you. I've wired meself up to 200 tons of gelignite, and if any one of you so much as makes a move we'll all go up together! Right, right. I warned you. That's it... (Explosion)
 
Oh that brightened up my day...Wooo. Im laughing quite a lot.

:LOL: <-----{See, thats me on my web cam)
 
Originally posted by The DemonWithin
Why did i have to die like a cartoon character? :(
Click to expand...

because it was funny, and you only seem to die in cartoony ways so i thought that part suited you well...

/me shoots The DemonWithin for good measure....
 
well i thought i'd leave you all on a high note....so he's another one for you to read while i'm on my hols......

* The Arena Morphs into a Barbers Shop

* The DemonWithin Enters....

The DemonWithin: Hello, is this the Barbershop Sketch?

Stone (Teh Barber) : Y-y-yes sir. B-b-b-be with you in a minute.

/me washes and re-washes his hands, trying to remove the obvious blood-stains from them and his coat......

Stone (Teh Barber) : H-h-how would you like it sir?

The DemonWithin: Just short back and sides.

Stone (Teh Barber) : How do you do that?

The DemonWithin: Oh, you know, just short back and sides.

Stone (Teh Barber) : It's not a... a razor cut, RAZOR CUT BLOOD ARTERY MURDER SPUrt.. arr...

The DemonWithin: No, just ordinary short back and sides, you know...

Stone (Teh Barber) : It's just s-s-s-scissors then...

The DemonWithin: Yes.

Stone (Teh Barber) : You wouldn't rather forget all about it?

The DemonWithin: What?

Stone (Teh Barber) : You wouldn't prefer to have it just combed?

The DemonWithin: Oh, no.. I want something cut off!

Stone (The Barber) : Cut, CUT HEART HITCHCOCK MURDER BLOOD PSYCHO HOMICIDE SPURT ARTERY TREMOR CORTEX Arrrgg...!

/me fakes a few snips..

Stone (Teh Barber) : There, finished.

The DemonWithin: I beg your pardon?

Stone (The Barber) : I've finished cutting, cutting, CUTTING, CUTTING YOUR HAIR!

The DemonWithin: Well, you haven't even done any cutting yet.

Stone (Teh Barber) : All right, I confess I didn't cut your hair. I hate hair. I-I I can't bear cutting it. I have this uncontrolable fear whenever I see hair. My mother said I was a fool! She said the only way to overcome my fear would be to become a barber. I didn't want to be a barber.

I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK!


* Suddenly, the arena morphs into a lush forest, and all the contestants morph into mounties, and Stone, suddenly, rips off his clothes to reveal that he's wearing............nothing, Stone quickly dons a LumberJack outfit, with a MrBadger in a dress hung onto his left arm

Stone (Teh LumberJack): I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay. I sleep all night and I work all day.

All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Stone (Teh LumberJack): I cut down trees. I eat my lunch. I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shoppin' And have buttered scones for tea.

All: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch. He goes to the lavatory. On Wednesdays he goes shoppin' And has buttered scones for tea. He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Stone (Teh LumberJack): I cut down trees. I skip and jump. I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing And hang around in bars.

All: He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps. He likes to press wild flowers. He puts on women's clothing And hangs around in bars?! He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Stone (Teh LumberJack): I cut down trees. I wear high heels,Suspendies, and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, Just like my dear Papa.

All: He cuts down trees. He wears high heels, Suspendies, and a bra?!

MrBadger (In Teh Dress): What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter! (No offence to people sowy)

* Everything goes quiet, and everyone starts to leave, but Stone starts to sing once again, and everyone runs back to their places and contiues to sing....

All:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.



/me shoots everyone and leaves to go on his holiday, bye you lot.......
 
Hahah, one of these days i will make a story, but for now, have fun on your lumberjack vacation while wearing your fathers women's clothing.
 
just realised, that i'm going to miss when the forum gets 1337 posts.....

/me cries.... but not b4 shooting FarrowleSparrow for being online and not posting......
 
This thread almost has 1337 posts, Ill take a screenie
 
Im sorry for the spam, this is just too good of an oprotunity to pass up.
 
lol, you did, I didnt get a screenshot, but I got the 1337th post!
 
/me decides to take a walk in the arena and begins to walk, and then finds out that he's walking in water
 
thenerdguy looks around, the arena is starting to get drown in mrbadgers drool. get the sand bags. get the women and children in the life boats.
 
/me is woken up to the gentle sounds of water lapping at the sides of the Arena

what? whats going on?

/me splashes Login_here and thenerdguy
 
thenerdguy says 22ft of drool. why the heck did i shoot him with the sleep dart?
 
/me holds Dux and thenerdguy's heads under the water

/me gets bored after while and just shoots them in the knees
 
*revenge* throws knives at Login and picks up a machinegun and stars to shoot
 
thenerdguy swims to his hidden sub. thenerdguy used his new cool underwater electro cannon to fry every thing in the arena.
 
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