The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper
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15357
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REVOLUTION!
Today, the glorious freedom fighters and Dr. Freeman have liberated humanity from the evil clutches of the combine!
This newspaper would like to say that any pro-combine articles posted were forced upon us by the evil alien shit.
15357
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Nothing has happened
Ahem. The last issue of TDC had a very grevious error. Please note that it was not by our will, and it was forced upon us by the evil rebel scum!
We apollogize for the inconvinience.
*locks self in office*
Ahem. The last issue of TDC had a very grevious error. Please note that it was not by our will, and it was forced upon us by the evil rebel scum!
We apollogize for the inconvinience.
*locks self in office*
the_rebel_medic
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*Blows off lock*
Clear, one editor is in custody, we are clear
*moves down to the interrogation room*
Clear, one editor is in custody, we are clear
*moves down to the interrogation room*
15357
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Alpha Sierra Sierra Hotel Orange Luck Echo Sierra
-----
>Initiate automatic defense systems
.....
......
.......
Initiated.
*Watches as Azner and TRM are knocked unconsious by tranquilizer darts*
*Drags Azner and TRM to Room 101, escorted by 3 CP commandos and 10 Internal Memo Special Operations Team*
-----
>Initiate automatic defense systems
.....
......
.......
Initiated.
*Watches as Azner and TRM are knocked unconsious by tranquilizer darts*
*Drags Azner and TRM to Room 101, escorted by 3 CP commandos and 10 Internal Memo Special Operations Team*
15357
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----Out Of Print----
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the_rebel_medic
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Uhm, Azner made me do it!
*Loads a fresh roll of paper*
Back to the press
15357 Attepmts To Kill Newspaper
Today in a shock turn of events, newspaper "The Daily Citizen" editor 15357
has attempted to destroy any hopes of people writing fresh articles. Ever since
some of the earlier wars, newspaper production has slowed greatly, almost
grinding to a halt bar a few articles written on the internal happenings of
"The Daily Citizen". No doubt, citizens and employees alike are devestated by the
happenings. Many of the staff at "The Daily Citizen" depend on their -$0.13
Salaries to feed their families, with meals mainly consisting of the newspaper
itself. Writer the_rebel_medic is still awaiting a cookie that was supposed to
be processed by NUPI multiple MONTHS ago, we managed to secure an interview;
TDC: So, Mr. Medic...
TRM: Please, call me The
TDC: Very well, The, how did you feel when you didn't recieve your cookie?
TRM: Well, first I was all like "No Wai" then my lawyer said it wasn't coming and I was all like O'Rly? and he was all like "Ya Rly" and I was all like "Tahts Not Funni!"
TDC: We see... Are you ashamed of your 1337 speech in real life
TRM: Not Rly...
TDC: Righto, moving on, when 15357 finished the paper, what was your reaction like then?
TRM: DOWN WITH FACISM!!! UP WITH OUR BENEFACTORS!!!
TDC: Anything to do with the newspaper?
TRM: Not really, no.
TDC: I see, now, how does it feel to be interviewing yourself?
TRM: Quiet precioussssss! *BANG, BANG, BANG*
There were no survivors, more news as it comes
The Daily Citizen!
*Loads a fresh roll of paper*
Back to the press
15357 Attepmts To Kill Newspaper
Today in a shock turn of events, newspaper "The Daily Citizen" editor 15357
has attempted to destroy any hopes of people writing fresh articles. Ever since
some of the earlier wars, newspaper production has slowed greatly, almost
grinding to a halt bar a few articles written on the internal happenings of
"The Daily Citizen". No doubt, citizens and employees alike are devestated by the
happenings. Many of the staff at "The Daily Citizen" depend on their -$0.13
Salaries to feed their families, with meals mainly consisting of the newspaper
itself. Writer the_rebel_medic is still awaiting a cookie that was supposed to
be processed by NUPI multiple MONTHS ago, we managed to secure an interview;
TDC: So, Mr. Medic...
TRM: Please, call me The
TDC: Very well, The, how did you feel when you didn't recieve your cookie?
TRM: Well, first I was all like "No Wai" then my lawyer said it wasn't coming and I was all like O'Rly? and he was all like "Ya Rly" and I was all like "Tahts Not Funni!"
TDC: We see... Are you ashamed of your 1337 speech in real life
TRM: Not Rly...
TDC: Righto, moving on, when 15357 finished the paper, what was your reaction like then?
TRM: DOWN WITH FACISM!!! UP WITH OUR BENEFACTORS!!!
TDC: Anything to do with the newspaper?
TRM: Not really, no.
TDC: I see, now, how does it feel to be interviewing yourself?
TRM: Quiet precioussssss! *BANG, BANG, BANG*
There were no survivors, more news as it comes
The Daily Citizen!
15357
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-Numbers Universal Products Industries Advertisement-
NUPI! NUPI! Its the best! Its the only producer! We have cookies! Yay!
----------------------------------------
*cookie has been shipped*
----------------------------------------
--------------------------------Damn paper jam--------------------------
*resets presses*
NUPI! NUPI! Its the best! Its the only producer! We have cookies! Yay!
----------------------------------------
*cookie has been shipped*
----------------------------------------
--------------------------------Damn paper jam--------------------------
*resets presses*
the_rebel_medic
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*Caps Azner*
My cookie!
*Enigma Machine code inbound*
WOBDO IUYVC TXLNN REQOI LZMUS ZBKFJ CTAMZ JZUDI
*Translating!*
Kill all enemies of the combine! Destroy! Destroy!
Azner attempts massive cookie theft
Today TDC Writer Azner has attempted to sieze a cookie shipment from NUPI
but was intercepted by a large amount of Civil Protection officers who were
originaly escorting him down to the intero...Super Happy Fun Land dungeon.
Citizens were shocked that such a lovable writer could commit so many
attrocious crimes, including the attempted murder of 15357 and manipulation
of writer The Rebel Medic. While the authorities are in the process of
kil...Making him have fun, we are sure he will return soon and become a
productive member of our society.
More news as it happens
The Rebel Medic
The Daily Citizen
My cookie!
*Enigma Machine code inbound*
WOBDO IUYVC TXLNN REQOI LZMUS ZBKFJ CTAMZ JZUDI
*Translating!*
Kill all enemies of the combine! Destroy! Destroy!
Azner attempts massive cookie theft
Today TDC Writer Azner has attempted to sieze a cookie shipment from NUPI
but was intercepted by a large amount of Civil Protection officers who were
originaly escorting him down to the intero...Super Happy Fun Land dungeon.
Citizens were shocked that such a lovable writer could commit so many
attrocious crimes, including the attempted murder of 15357 and manipulation
of writer The Rebel Medic. While the authorities are in the process of
kil...Making him have fun, we are sure he will return soon and become a
productive member of our society.
More news as it happens
The Rebel Medic
The Daily Citizen
the_rebel_medic
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Yay! I can add them to my Sig Sauer P228 and Glock 18! Good to see they can do something right, like a free pizza after 15 minutes!
NUPI gives free gift
Today, the payment company NUPI has dished out a free gift to TDC writer
The_rebel_medic. "I'm Shocked" he said, "NUPI takes months to deliver a cookie
then a few hours to deliver it with a pair of weapons!" He was incredibly pleased
High amounts of amunition were supplied with the gun, yet none remain after
much of it was used on Antlions, Vortigaunts and CP officers, so he could hear
the squeel of their masks.
More news as it happens
The Rebel Medic
The Daily Citizen
NUPI gives free gift
Today, the payment company NUPI has dished out a free gift to TDC writer
The_rebel_medic. "I'm Shocked" he said, "NUPI takes months to deliver a cookie
then a few hours to deliver it with a pair of weapons!" He was incredibly pleased
High amounts of amunition were supplied with the gun, yet none remain after
much of it was used on Antlions, Vortigaunts and CP officers, so he could hear
the squeel of their masks.
More news as it happens
The Rebel Medic
The Daily Citizen
Azner
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IM BACK!
Yay!
Azner Back To Work
With everything back to normal circumstances, the 12 year old is now muching cookies and drinking coffee at his beautiful workplace.
Why was he relased so fast? Well for quick rice paddying and fast mining he is now back.
The Daily Citizen.
With everything back to normal circumstances, the 12 year old is now muching cookies and drinking coffee at his beautiful workplace.
Why was he relased so fast? Well for quick rice paddying and fast mining he is now back.
The Daily Citizen.
Yay!
the_rebel_medic
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We had such a good thread here. Now look at this.
Damn you..... damn you all to.... hell......
Don't worry boss, I'm still writing good articles
World Stormed By Dog Diapers
Today in an interesting turn of events, the world has decided to purchase
diapers (read nappies) for the canines. When we interviewed their inventor
Dr. I R W Ierd he said to us "Well, I invented this device because I knew it
would take the world by storm, despite the fact that we don't have any dogs left in the world, for Christ's sake, WHAT IS A DOG???"
He was then shot.
Meanwhil, the napies continue to storm the world, never ceasing, even for a
cup of tea or a biscuit, or even lunch! "I love my doggie diaper" said one
citizen, "Now if only I had a dog to put it on!" He then broke down into tears
and commited suicide. Editor 15357 and writer 99.Vikram have also purchased
one, hoping to possibly find a pooch to put it on. At the time of writing we are
awaiting there comments, most likely to be delivered in there next posts.
While we await, we should probably open up the newspaper's mail box to
whether or not people like cheese.
More news as it happens
The Rebel Medic
The Daily Citizen
Two terrorist rebels killed by Civil Protection in City 13
City 13, two terrorist rebel scum were killed by our glorious Combine benefactors last Monday. The terrorists were allegedly transporting explosives to attack a local Combine checkpoint were harassing Combine soldiers and local people. Unfounded rumors by rebel sympathizers say that the two were an older couple, and that no weapons or explosives were spotted on them by witnesses at the scene and that Civil Protection beat them to death for dodging a scanner. If anyone knows the identity's of these terrorist sympathizers, contact your local Combine representative.
City 13, two terrorist rebel scum were killed by our glorious Combine benefactors last Monday. The terrorists were allegedly transporting explosives to attack a local Combine checkpoint were harassing Combine soldiers and local people. Unfounded rumors by rebel sympathizers say that the two were an older couple, and that no weapons or explosives were spotted on them by witnesses at the scene and that Civil Protection beat them to death for dodging a scanner. If anyone knows the identity's of these terrorist sympathizers, contact your local Combine representative.
VortigauntLover
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Dr. Freeman and Eli Vance killed
For tonight's headline, we at the Daily Citizen are very happy to announce that terrorist Dr. Gordon Freeman was killed by a Hunter Chopper outside of Black Mesa East, a main terrorist base. Dr. Freeman was supposely standing out in the middle of the water when 10 mines hit him in the head. The pilot of the Hunter Chopper is now a highly decorated Overwatch Elite with a Star of Breen. Afterwards Overwatch forces invaded the nearby Black Mesa East and killed the head of the terrorists, Eli Vance, and his daughter, Alyx Vance. They also found the co-ordinates to another terrorist lab and executed Dr. Kleiner. Another benefit of invading Black Mesa East is that the Overwatch now have local teleportation technology that they have given to Our Benefactors. Now to quote our lovely Administrator, Dr. Wallace Breen.
"It is a wonderful day for humanity."
For tonight's headline, we at the Daily Citizen are very happy to announce that terrorist Dr. Gordon Freeman was killed by a Hunter Chopper outside of Black Mesa East, a main terrorist base. Dr. Freeman was supposely standing out in the middle of the water when 10 mines hit him in the head. The pilot of the Hunter Chopper is now a highly decorated Overwatch Elite with a Star of Breen. Afterwards Overwatch forces invaded the nearby Black Mesa East and killed the head of the terrorists, Eli Vance, and his daughter, Alyx Vance. They also found the co-ordinates to another terrorist lab and executed Dr. Kleiner. Another benefit of invading Black Mesa East is that the Overwatch now have local teleportation technology that they have given to Our Benefactors. Now to quote our lovely Administrator, Dr. Wallace Breen.
"It is a wonderful day for humanity."
VortigauntLover
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Gordon Freeman and Dr. Eli Vance killed
For tonight's headline, we at the Daily Citizen are very happy to announce that terrorist Gordon Freeman was killed by a Hunter Chopper outside of Black Mesa East, a main terrorist base. Mr. Freeman was supposely standing out in the middle of the water when 10 mines hit him in the head. The pilot of the Hunter Chopper is now a highly decorated Overwatch Elite with a Star of Breen. Afterwards Overwatch forces invaded the nearby Black Mesa East and killed the head of the terrorists, Dr. Eli Vance, and his daughter, Alyx Vance. They also found the co-ordinates to another terrorist lab and executed Dr. Kleiner. Another benefit of invading Black Mesa East is that the Overwatch now have local teleportation technology that they have given to Our Benefactors. Now to quote our lovely Administrator, Dr. Wallace Breen.
"It is a wonderful day for humanity."
For tonight's headline, we at the Daily Citizen are very happy to announce that terrorist Gordon Freeman was killed by a Hunter Chopper outside of Black Mesa East, a main terrorist base. Mr. Freeman was supposely standing out in the middle of the water when 10 mines hit him in the head. The pilot of the Hunter Chopper is now a highly decorated Overwatch Elite with a Star of Breen. Afterwards Overwatch forces invaded the nearby Black Mesa East and killed the head of the terrorists, Dr. Eli Vance, and his daughter, Alyx Vance. They also found the co-ordinates to another terrorist lab and executed Dr. Kleiner. Another benefit of invading Black Mesa East is that the Overwatch now have local teleportation technology that they have given to Our Benefactors. Now to quote our lovely Administrator, Dr. Wallace Breen.
"It is a wonderful day for humanity."
the_rebel_medic
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Pssst, I reccomend you ah...suck...UP to 15357, not off!
Mr. Editor sir, here's your coffee!
Mr. Editor sir, here's your coffee!
Azner
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No he doesnt... he gets a new role...
Azner Back From Banning
Most citizens suspect this 'bant' was acctually an interrogationby the almighty benefactor, well what i have to say is NO it is not true, TRM Tied me up and gagged me And Vortigaunt lover came in to steal my JOB *takes out deagle and blows a hole in TRM leg*
Most citizens suspect this 'bant' was acctually an interrogationby the almighty benefactor, well what i have to say is NO it is not true, TRM Tied me up and gagged me And Vortigaunt lover came in to steal my JOB *takes out deagle and blows a hole in TRM leg*
99.vikram
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Doggy Diapers frequently misused D:
Division Seven of the Combine Overwatch (Diaper control & regulation) announced yesterday that the doggy diapers which have become the latest rage are frequently misused by perverts, rebels and short people. As an example they cited 99.vikram, disgraced employee of The Daily Citizen who was found wearing a doggy diaper to bed late last night. As such the Overwatch will be raiding suspected illegal diaper warehouses all over City 23 and City 17.
99.vikram refused to comment on the issue...
Division Seven of the Combine Overwatch (Diaper control & regulation) announced yesterday that the doggy diapers which have become the latest rage are frequently misused by perverts, rebels and short people. As an example they cited 99.vikram, disgraced employee of The Daily Citizen who was found wearing a doggy diaper to bed late last night. As such the Overwatch will be raiding suspected illegal diaper warehouses all over City 23 and City 17.
99.vikram refused to comment on the issue...
the_rebel_medic
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the_rebel_medic
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HYPORCRITE!
*Defibrilates Azner*
*Defibrilates Azner*
the_rebel_medic
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Aww, no problem. Now, I have a bunch of campaign medals.
*Revives Azner*
For all writers, who have remained, ever since page 1. The American Campaign medal, because you either live in America or for some reason have something to do with America.
For all Writers who have been with us since page 20, the Afghanistan Campaign medal, why Afgahnistan, no reason.
For all writers who participated in the Fax News war, or other wars, the American Civil War Campaign Medal, for no reason again.
For all writers from page 45 onwards, the Indian Naval Campaign medal
For anyone wounded or killed, and then revived by me, in action or other wise, The Purple Heart, because that's what you get.
*Revives Azner*
For all writers, who have remained, ever since page 1. The American Campaign medal, because you either live in America or for some reason have something to do with America.
For all Writers who have been with us since page 20, the Afghanistan Campaign medal, why Afgahnistan, no reason.
For all writers who participated in the Fax News war, or other wars, the American Civil War Campaign Medal, for no reason again.
For all writers from page 45 onwards, the Indian Naval Campaign medal
For anyone wounded or killed, and then revived by me, in action or other wise, The Purple Heart, because that's what you get.
Azner
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UNCENSORED VERSION
Massive portals confirm we are not alone, opening a warp to different dimensions if you had read the papers you will know that in the war, Azner went through one and brought baack items from it. Well this warp leads to the motherload of power, VALVe in where we connect through the Internet and contain information with VALVe. The massive Overide has caused a massive distortion sending countless GIGN, GSG-9 and Terrorist into out loveland, they storm the houses to find citizens to kidnap. Besides the many Counter-Strike information, there is also a new species, a darwinian running around the plains today, he was mistook for free cereal and eaten straight away further news reports show Allied and Axis troops advancing on our plains fighting, Germans and British and Americans and Russians, No signs of Italians or Japanese so far... This is Azner Signing off until further reports.
Massive portals confirm we are not alone, opening a warp to different dimensions if you had read the papers you will know that in the war, Azner went through one and brought baack items from it. Well this warp leads to the motherload of power, VALVe in where we connect through the Internet and contain information with VALVe. The massive Overide has caused a massive distortion sending countless GIGN, GSG-9 and Terrorist into out loveland, they storm the houses to find citizens to kidnap. Besides the many Counter-Strike information, there is also a new species, a darwinian running around the plains today, he was mistook for free cereal and eaten straight away further news reports show Allied and Axis troops advancing on our plains fighting, Germans and British and Americans and Russians, No signs of Italians or Japanese so far... This is Azner Signing off until further reports.
*Plays CNA music*
marco900
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At Exactly 2:00 today massive amounts of poison headcrabs invaded the small mining town of ravenholm killing no one since no one lives there except for father grigori. When we interviewed him he said "MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" then he went to kill the headcrabs but he got bitten by one so we left him there because we assumed he'll be fine.
marco900
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BECOME A REBEL
Do you hate the combine? Do you want to kill the living shit out of them?
Then being a rebel is the outfit for you! You'll get access to a Heckler & Koch MP-7 PDW submachine gun with a Grneade Launcher,Franchi SPAS-12 pump-action shotgun,Combine Pulse Rifle,RPG,and a Hecler & Koch USP 9mm Match Pistol! And you'll fight alongside the one and only Gordon Freeman!! So Join NOW!! To join go to Dr.Kliners Lab In City 17.
Do you hate the combine? Do you want to kill the living shit out of them?
Then being a rebel is the outfit for you! You'll get access to a Heckler & Koch MP-7 PDW submachine gun with a Grneade Launcher,Franchi SPAS-12 pump-action shotgun,Combine Pulse Rifle,RPG,and a Hecler & Koch USP 9mm Match Pistol! And you'll fight alongside the one and only Gordon Freeman!! So Join NOW!! To join go to Dr.Kliners Lab In City 17.
Azner
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MASS REBEL MEETING BUSTED TODAYToday, a mass meeting of mabye a thousand rebels were caught as a accdential CP bought a can of Dr Breens water and found they rebels, let us rejoice!
Marco, keep up yo date, we're already VALVe crossing
Azner
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Seeing Rebels running around lately? Well we're giving out free CP suits for you and you can beat em up yourself isnt that wonderful?! Collect your CP suit at the citadel, but don't count on getting to the citadel before you get killed by the rebels! So good luck on getting here, 1st one here gets $1,000,000 CC(Combine Currency) which equals $0 USD so get here quick!
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