T
TehGrenadeKing
Guest
*Dons suit of some sorta invincible thingy that zombies dont like* COme Here Darkwolf, come get your nice, acidic shots.
The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper
- Thread starter 15357
- Start date
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the_rebel_medic
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The Rebel Medic Scared With Job Loss
The
Title
Says
It
All.
I
Am
Scared
with
losing
my job
but with my superior intelect, I have made my article 12 lines long.
This is TRM, signing off
The
Title
Says
It
All.
I
Am
Scared
with
losing
my job
but with my superior intelect, I have made my article 12 lines long.
This is TRM, signing off
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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Combine Develop New Chopper
Recently, the Combine have revealed a new Chopper type that could possibly replace the Hunter - Chopper, code named the "ROFL Copter". In an interview, Soldier 366 had this to say.
"For quite some time, the Hunter - Chopper has had problems that couldn't be fixed. While it was very handy to have it control itself if the pilot was killed, which was usually very unlikely, it had a tendency to drop a shit load of water mines nonstop. So our military is designing a chopper with a better AI, and the lethality of a Fast Zombie hopped up on PCP."
When citizens and Combine will be seeing this flying menace patrolling is inknown at the moment, but 366 and I have to agree on this: "When this bitch is unleashed, the Rebels are ****ed."
This is Willie. Check your underwear, keep your gun close, and have a nice day.
Recently, the Combine have revealed a new Chopper type that could possibly replace the Hunter - Chopper, code named the "ROFL Copter". In an interview, Soldier 366 had this to say.
"For quite some time, the Hunter - Chopper has had problems that couldn't be fixed. While it was very handy to have it control itself if the pilot was killed, which was usually very unlikely, it had a tendency to drop a shit load of water mines nonstop. So our military is designing a chopper with a better AI, and the lethality of a Fast Zombie hopped up on PCP."
When citizens and Combine will be seeing this flying menace patrolling is inknown at the moment, but 366 and I have to agree on this: "When this bitch is unleashed, the Rebels are ****ed."
This is Willie. Check your underwear, keep your gun close, and have a nice day.
UltimaApocalypse
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You see it every day. The metrocops of C17 go door to door, raiding apartments. You've seen it havn't you? People get hurt, evan beaten to death. It is brutal. The citizens don't evan see it coming. It's things like this that make C17 the depressing place it is today. Hell on Earth. But if you were a Metrocop, you would know that causing that kind of havoc is
FUN!!!!!
If you join the police of City 17, you get such benifits as:
1. Getting to beat people up!
2. Better meals (Actually cooked!)
3. You get to wear a cool high tech suit with a MASK!
4. 10 minutes a week in the non-seppression room :naughty:
5. Your one of the last humans to die! And it will be less painful!
6. You get to drive a car!!!
Sign up at Outpost #394233 (Or Marlin Avenue)
And the best part is, you don't have to have ANY organs removed, or your brain messed with!
Note: 90% of people who sign up will be given *special training* At Nova Prospekt.
FUN!!!!!
If you join the police of City 17, you get such benifits as:
1. Getting to beat people up!
2. Better meals (Actually cooked!)
3. You get to wear a cool high tech suit with a MASK!
4. 10 minutes a week in the non-seppression room :naughty:
5. Your one of the last humans to die! And it will be less painful!
6. You get to drive a car!!!
Sign up at Outpost #394233 (Or Marlin Avenue)
And the best part is, you don't have to have ANY organs removed, or your brain messed with!
Note: 90% of people who sign up will be given *special training* At Nova Prospekt.
Darkwolf
Tank
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Double Post
On that note I have just cheated and double posted to get DC's 60th page. Yes you may ask why celabrate 60 pages of nonsense and nuclear halocausts. Well, it isn't really the pages that we are celebrating, it is the date. Today is the 10th of april, now I know I'm a bit late, but exactly 1 month ago, DC was born the year previous.
Starting out as a neibourhood rag with a single article,
'i'm lazy to keep posting so.........
make up your own articles and advertisements.'
DC has evolved into a Worldwide news empire, controlling all forms of media and recreation (Breen show, 24/7, Channel). In one year we have gone through death, turmoil, tourture, mutated internal memos, crazy rampant medics, one esteemed editor and occasionally an article. We have had many new writers come through seeking work among the greats of DC history. Most of them would up condensed to a singularity in out 'fun hole'
We have gone through our good times, and our better times, yet we will stick together, and hopefully next year we will have 120 pages!
This page also marks the newspaper as perhaps the longest running thread on hl2.net (please confirm) Which was long ago dispensed as a lost cause by our moderators.
Yours forever, my lord
Darkwolf
PS. Page 60 will be the DC appreceation page, post your comments and thoughts
PPS. The 10th of every month is now DC harmony week where we stop killing each other for... perhaps a day?
On that note I have just cheated and double posted to get DC's 60th page. Yes you may ask why celabrate 60 pages of nonsense and nuclear halocausts. Well, it isn't really the pages that we are celebrating, it is the date. Today is the 10th of april, now I know I'm a bit late, but exactly 1 month ago, DC was born the year previous.
Starting out as a neibourhood rag with a single article,
'i'm lazy to keep posting so.........
make up your own articles and advertisements.'
DC has evolved into a Worldwide news empire, controlling all forms of media and recreation (Breen show, 24/7, Channel). In one year we have gone through death, turmoil, tourture, mutated internal memos, crazy rampant medics, one esteemed editor and occasionally an article. We have had many new writers come through seeking work among the greats of DC history. Most of them would up condensed to a singularity in out 'fun hole'
We have gone through our good times, and our better times, yet we will stick together, and hopefully next year we will have 120 pages!
This page also marks the newspaper as perhaps the longest running thread on hl2.net (please confirm) Which was long ago dispensed as a lost cause by our moderators.
Yours forever, my lord
Darkwolf
PS. Page 60 will be the DC appreceation page, post your comments and thoughts
PPS. The 10th of every month is now DC harmony week where we stop killing each other for... perhaps a day?
D
Dairokkan
Guest
Just a note before my HL2 advertisement, I haven't posted in weeks (due to natural, inborn laziness) and I see some message telling me, this, asking me to post or something. That scares me, is HL2 forums going to be one of those, "no, you cannot leave us now, you have already joined the collective!" kind of things? Anyway...
In all Cities in upon our earth, we have lost something...It makes us feel empty, as if a great joy in our life has been snuffed out, like a candle in a dark windy night. It is the suppression field, taking away our urges to mate, or 'sex' as it was called before the 7-hour war.
However, we have found a way to get past this. In secret, our scientists have improved upon an old medicine for old people called viagra, which allowed them to feel aroused and function correctly, despite their age. With this as a base, our scientists have created a new, powerful agent, which can bypass even the Combine Suppression field...
It is called..
...Niagra...
Niagra will allow you to feel the joy of sexual intercourse once more! Let you feel alive! It is a away to rebel agaisnt the combine, to join us in anarchy,w ithout having to put your necks on the line. (You *uck1n9 pu$$ies!)
NOTE: Now remember, Niagra is not for everyone. You may find that after use, your...happy place...may become swollen, pained, and all-around in pain. Niagra may also cause high blood-pressure, anal seepage, rectuminal optimius, addicting, suspicsion from neighbors by your unatural happiness in such bad conditions, weird sexual fantasies (wet dreams for those of you who didn't catch it quite yet) unexpected weight loss, better tax refunds, poor gas mileage, and in some rare cases a thing called love! (Which, in itself, is extremely dangerous, and must be avoided at all costs)
In all Cities in upon our earth, we have lost something...It makes us feel empty, as if a great joy in our life has been snuffed out, like a candle in a dark windy night. It is the suppression field, taking away our urges to mate, or 'sex' as it was called before the 7-hour war.
However, we have found a way to get past this. In secret, our scientists have improved upon an old medicine for old people called viagra, which allowed them to feel aroused and function correctly, despite their age. With this as a base, our scientists have created a new, powerful agent, which can bypass even the Combine Suppression field...
It is called..
...Niagra...
Niagra will allow you to feel the joy of sexual intercourse once more! Let you feel alive! It is a away to rebel agaisnt the combine, to join us in anarchy,w ithout having to put your necks on the line. (You *uck1n9 pu$$ies!)
NOTE: Now remember, Niagra is not for everyone. You may find that after use, your...happy place...may become swollen, pained, and all-around in pain. Niagra may also cause high blood-pressure, anal seepage, rectuminal optimius, addicting, suspicsion from neighbors by your unatural happiness in such bad conditions, weird sexual fantasies (wet dreams for those of you who didn't catch it quite yet) unexpected weight loss, better tax refunds, poor gas mileage, and in some rare cases a thing called love! (Which, in itself, is extremely dangerous, and must be avoided at all costs)
Darkwolf
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15357 said:
Why thankyou.
In other news a day after the DC's new 'Day of peace' the streak of 'disappearences' as begun again with the 'disapperation' of newbie writer Dairokkan. Dairokkan went missing shortly after his endorsement of the hormone pill, Niagra, betraying the veiws of the glorious COMBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE. CP #9928-92 comments
'You see, I have know idea how these two events are linked. Yes he has disappeared, and yes all the worlds stock of Niagra were destoyed, but that doesn't mean we killed him. Now if you excuse me, I've got a very large log to shrink.'
More on this as it cums in. (BOOM BOOM)
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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Live you God damn thread LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
15357
Companion Cube
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Charging....
Clear!
*bzzt*
Again... Clear!
*bzzt*
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, I have decided to create a literature section for the newspaper.
The articles in it will be a continuing story/whatever.
Clear!
*bzzt*
Again... Clear!
*bzzt*
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, I have decided to create a literature section for the newspaper.
The articles in it will be a continuing story/whatever.
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Get...Out...OF...THE...WAY!!!
LET THE MEDIC DO IT
Charge me to 300v
CLEAR
*Thwump*
Charging...
CLEAR
*Twhump*
It's in a critical condition - but alive.
LET THE MEDIC DO IT
Charge me to 300v
CLEAR
*Thwump*
Charging...
CLEAR
*Twhump*
It's in a critical condition - but alive.
UltimaApocalypse
Newbie
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99.vikram
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Advertisement during Breencast-
Have you been deprived of the love of a family member for years? Have you lost contact with a friend after the seven hour war? Don't worry, they're all dead. But the Lost-and-Found agency will reunite you with them at the small price of an explosive barrel. We find lost body parts and corpses, identify them, and deliver them to you. And remember, each explosive barrel will be contributed towards helping the resistance. First hundred customers get a free...huh? "outbreak, outbreak" Wait, I have a licence...No! NOOOO.... *thud*
Have you been deprived of the love of a family member for years? Have you lost contact with a friend after the seven hour war? Don't worry, they're all dead. But the Lost-and-Found agency will reunite you with them at the small price of an explosive barrel. We find lost body parts and corpses, identify them, and deliver them to you. And remember, each explosive barrel will be contributed towards helping the resistance. First hundred customers get a free...huh? "outbreak, outbreak" Wait, I have a licence...No! NOOOO.... *thud*
Darkwolf
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15357
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(TDC) -- Meatpacking plants will shut down. Ration centers won't open. Trucks won't roll. Citizens will walk out of assembly lines. Millions of people will take to City 22's streets in possibly unprecedented numbers.
If all goes as organizers plan, major cities will be disrupted Monday by what's being called "The Great May 1st Rebellion," or "A Day Without a Citizen."
"Millions of workers, men and women without documents and their supporters who are, in fact, legal citizens will heed the call to not go to work," said C-12393, city coordinator of Citizen Movement Earth and one of the lead organizers of Monday's planned rebellion.
"Many hundreds of thousands of citizens, perhaps millions, will stay away from ration centers and people will not shop and will not sell anything," C-12393 said.
CP commando units have been on high alert, and all Civil Protection officers are in full rot mode, as the impending rebellion approaches. A CP official was quoted to say "We're going to kick some ass. Commie bastards.".
Updates at 3 O'clock.
If all goes as organizers plan, major cities will be disrupted Monday by what's being called "The Great May 1st Rebellion," or "A Day Without a Citizen."
"Millions of workers, men and women without documents and their supporters who are, in fact, legal citizens will heed the call to not go to work," said C-12393, city coordinator of Citizen Movement Earth and one of the lead organizers of Monday's planned rebellion.
"Many hundreds of thousands of citizens, perhaps millions, will stay away from ration centers and people will not shop and will not sell anything," C-12393 said.
CP commando units have been on high alert, and all Civil Protection officers are in full rot mode, as the impending rebellion approaches. A CP official was quoted to say "We're going to kick some ass. Commie bastards.".
Updates at 3 O'clock.
99.vikram
Tank
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In other news the cheese included with each ration pack has been cut in half for the second time this month. In a related incident, five citizens killed themselves with conveniently placed sawblades, leaving a suicide note that said - "We must have our liberty, and our cheese".
Darkwolf
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15357 said:
In related news, cremators have been roaming the streets following complaints from health inspectors, that the rotting CP's are make the Earth smell human.
'This is just unacceptable,' commented a health and safty expector. 'We have given Dr. Breen his due punishment, and has been warned that should this be a re-occuring problem, Earth will have to be demolished due to unsatisfactory Health and Safty standards. The CP's are all undead and the citizens have not had their quota of beatings filled today, THEY ARE JUST FAR TOO SAFE!'
New CP's are expected to be on the streets in 2 hours.
In other news the 24/7 Dr. Breen show was interupted today as was announced that he had an important 'meeting' with the sectors Health and Safty comisioner. Within that time a mysterious masked man known only as 'V' made an anouncment detailing every part of his plan to blow up the citadel and give people hope.
It is suspected that the terrorist 'V' may be a reincarnation of the last Earths major villain and asailent 'Smith' as shown below.
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Chief of Security here
Dammit, Teh Grenadeking, On those Anti-Strider and Anti-Rebel guns, Darkwolf, please man the AA guns. If anyone wants me, I'll be in the thick of it
*cocks M4A2 with C-MAG* ONWARDS!!!!
*Cuts everyone down*
Dammit, Teh Grenadeking, On those Anti-Strider and Anti-Rebel guns, Darkwolf, please man the AA guns. If anyone wants me, I'll be in the thick of it
*cocks M4A2 with C-MAG* ONWARDS!!!!
*Cuts everyone down*
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Then I shall use my Defibrillators of POWER
MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
CLEAR
*WHACK*
Who's Next?
MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
CLEAR
*WHACK*
Who's Next?
Azner
Tank
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Ok this is weird, i think i went through the whole of valve, would you guys like a erm say... Egon? anyone wants one? OOOOO Para hmmmm you can have that Rebel Medic... lets see, WOW a Garrys Mod item... which one is it,*pulls trigger and sends a masked man into a kung fu pose* who wants that, oh yeah guys i just dialled essential and they will be dropping a few explosive barrels around here...*snaps gun and starts shooting with an OIWC from Beta*
P.S. 15357 team should do a report on this...
P.S. 15357 team should do a report on this...
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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White Shoe?ríomhaire said:
WingsofJecka
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Are you afraid of global warming, and its effects on Earth? Well never fear for the Universal Union is here! Never will you have to fear that global warming is melting the polar ice caps causing shoreline waters to rise and destroy that lovely ocean side property. We here at the Universal Union are combating global warming by lower sea water levels, all in order to protect your lakeside property. So have a good day, and know how well the Universal Union is looking out for you!
(Warning: increased rise of bullsquids, antlions, and other washed up creatures are common. Call your local Civil Protection agency for clean up and questioning)
(Warning: increased rise of bullsquids, antlions, and other washed up creatures are common. Call your local Civil Protection agency for clean up and questioning)
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