The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper
- Thread starter 15357
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Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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"Hello. It seems remote controlled Gattling Gun emplacements have been set up around the perimeter.Employees of the DC have been seen manning them, preparing for the oncoming Hippie threat. These brave men and (women?) will not let their beloved news center go down with the doobies! This is Willie. I'm out. 'Cause I got me some Hippies to plant some lead into!"
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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Oh ****! RELEASE THE HEADCRABS!
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Iiiiiitttt Begiiiiins
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T
TehGrenadeKing
Guest
BREAKING NEWS
It appears the hippys have hijacked the striders and are attacking each other for no reason! Also, Master Cheif, Yuna (From FFX-2), All The guards from Fable, A Mob of the sims, a ton of WoW players and Link (from the legend of zelda) Have all decided its about time they have a pizza party. they pizza party deafened most, and killed others with poison pizza.
It appears the hippys have hijacked the striders and are attacking each other for no reason! Also, Master Cheif, Yuna (From FFX-2), All The guards from Fable, A Mob of the sims, a ton of WoW players and Link (from the legend of zelda) Have all decided its about time they have a pizza party. they pizza party deafened most, and killed others with poison pizza.
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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..... Nuke the mother ****ers.
mastapenguin
Newbie
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New Reporter Ends Hippy Attack!
Onlookers Are Shocked and Awed!
The battle around TDC Headquarters is at an uncharacteristic calm today, as the hippies formerly besieging the building are all being cleaned off the streets by local CP units. As the bodies are loaded into trucks labeled "Breen's Private Reserve", the defences of the TDC are slowly herded back into their respective pens.
This is all thanks to a new reporter, the incredible, intelligent, handsome, strong, and humble yours truly, mastapenguin.
"I had just shown up for a job interview," I said, "and there was the headquarters, surrounded by hippies, vortigaunts, headcrabs, and a pizza party. Of course, I didn't want to lose my job, so I just did what seemed natural."
And those acts were what stopped the mild inconvenience that TDC was under. By throwing an inoccent headcrab into an ichthyosaur infested lake, mastapenguin managed to get the attention of the hippies. They immediately with the most violent actions they were capable of; staging protests by dressing as headcrabs and swimming in that same lake.
Tragically, the hippies were immediately devoured by ichthyosaurs. Even more tragically, the ichthyosaurs immediately died of acute food poisoning, possibly due to the fact that the hippies haven't bathed since the 1990's.
With the hippies gone, mastapenguin was free to apply for the job of reporter/journalist. With his 1 year of Jim's Correspondence School experience, he is a shoe in for the job.
This is mastapenguin, saying he knows of a place the suppresion field doesn't get too if any females are interested!
Onlookers Are Shocked and Awed!
The battle around TDC Headquarters is at an uncharacteristic calm today, as the hippies formerly besieging the building are all being cleaned off the streets by local CP units. As the bodies are loaded into trucks labeled "Breen's Private Reserve", the defences of the TDC are slowly herded back into their respective pens.
This is all thanks to a new reporter, the incredible, intelligent, handsome, strong, and humble yours truly, mastapenguin.
"I had just shown up for a job interview," I said, "and there was the headquarters, surrounded by hippies, vortigaunts, headcrabs, and a pizza party. Of course, I didn't want to lose my job, so I just did what seemed natural."
And those acts were what stopped the mild inconvenience that TDC was under. By throwing an inoccent headcrab into an ichthyosaur infested lake, mastapenguin managed to get the attention of the hippies. They immediately with the most violent actions they were capable of; staging protests by dressing as headcrabs and swimming in that same lake.
Tragically, the hippies were immediately devoured by ichthyosaurs. Even more tragically, the ichthyosaurs immediately died of acute food poisoning, possibly due to the fact that the hippies haven't bathed since the 1990's.
With the hippies gone, mastapenguin was free to apply for the job of reporter/journalist. With his 1 year of Jim's Correspondence School experience, he is a shoe in for the job.
This is mastapenguin, saying he knows of a place the suppresion field doesn't get too if any females are interested!
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Another excellent post by a new member...Want to be my assistant head of security?
T
TehGrenadeKing
Guest
Can i be assistant head of security ?
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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Jintor Heckles Willie, Pisses Him Off, Get Skull Caved In!Jintor said:
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Yes Tehgrenade king, you may, first act as AHOS is to please take Mr. Darkwolf to get his shots 
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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Uhhhhhhh yeah.......... Let's kill him!Darkwolf said:
15357
Companion Cube
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INGSOC: 12CC (2CC up)
NAQWE: 21CC (-)
UCSC (union of combine socialist corporations): 2108CC (Up 139CC)
SAM: 1CC (-)
FUCC: 12(Down 2CC)
FVCKYOU: 304 (+47)
CCTVC (Combine Central Television Corporation) 2065CC (+577)
--Internal Message--
Note that the DC HQ will be subjected to severe does of radiation (again), enough to kill any living organism and short circuit all electronic equipment.
I will be going now, Good Bye.
--------------------------------------
Launch Sequence Start
5
4
3
2
1
0
ignition...
ESCAPE POD #3 has succesfully launched.
Next command?
//nuke
DC HQ subjected to nuclear radiation.
//Lockdown
Blast doors locked down.
//exit
PS: Heres hoping that the internal memos don't mutate again.....
NAQWE: 21CC (-)
UCSC (union of combine socialist corporations): 2108CC (Up 139CC)
SAM: 1CC (-)
FUCC: 12(Down 2CC)
FVCKYOU: 304 (+47)
CCTVC (Combine Central Television Corporation) 2065CC (+577)
--Internal Message--
Note that the DC HQ will be subjected to severe does of radiation (again), enough to kill any living organism and short circuit all electronic equipment.
I will be going now, Good Bye.
--------------------------------------
Launch Sequence Start
5
4
3
2
1
0
ignition...
ESCAPE POD #3 has succesfully launched.
Next command?
//nuke
DC HQ subjected to nuclear radiation.
//Lockdown
Blast doors locked down.
//exit
PS: Heres hoping that the internal memos don't mutate again.....
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Thankgod it's my day off, ooooh, pretty radioactive memo-*AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH* THERE EATING OUT THE BACK OF MY EYES D: D: D:
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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Nuclear radiation? OH GOD *Shoots himself*
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the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Oh shit, his corpse, now its gonna become a zombie!!
*Sinks more rounds in*
*Sinks more rounds in*
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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Wtf Stop Shooting! That Was A Warning Shot!
15357
Companion Cube
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Ok, the next person to post and not write an article of 4 lines long will be fired.
If there isn't an article in the next 2 days, a random person will be fired because of cutbacks needed for our corporation.
Have a pleasant day.
If there isn't an article in the next 2 days, a random person will be fired because of cutbacks needed for our corporation.
Have a pleasant day.
jerkasaur
Tank
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- Aug 31, 2005
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zombresses in desprate need of male partners
after Dr. freeman's visit to what zombies themselves call "the zombieville", male partners for zombresses have lowered from 600:1 to 1:10.
it has been reported that some zombresses have commited suicide while some others have been having fun with the residents of city17, which is -ofcourse- deadfull. (and also painfull)
Dr. freeman, responsible for the "aftermath" of his visit to "rape'emholm" has asked all the residents of city17 to bring in their male zombies. cooperators will get a cookie.
after Dr. freeman's visit to what zombies themselves call "the zombieville", male partners for zombresses have lowered from 600:1 to 1:10.
it has been reported that some zombresses have commited suicide while some others have been having fun with the residents of city17, which is -ofcourse- deadfull. (and also painfull)
Dr. freeman, responsible for the "aftermath" of his visit to "rape'emholm" has asked all the residents of city17 to bring in their male zombies. cooperators will get a cookie.
- Joined
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13537 Threatens Job Losses, Staff Panik!
13457 has declared the next pershon to make sum sort of stupid misstake in they're news post is fired the Daily Citizen can reveal. All righters are tripping over their own finguers in anxioty. Analisis page 12, review page 15.
13457 has declared the next pershon to make sum sort of stupid misstake in they're news post is fired the Daily Citizen can reveal. All righters are tripping over their own finguers in anxioty. Analisis page 12, review page 15.
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