The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper

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*pops around the corner blasting the hapless medic and patient to bits with teh AK-101


MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PH33R M3!!!!111eleventyone!!1shift+1!!1!!!!!
 
*hijacks blackhawk's controls and sends it crashing into the white house*
(just to let you know, im not entirely used to doing what i just did, so don't expect it to often from me.)
 
/state of emergency

Activated.

*armored cars and tanks patrol the 20 km radius of the DC HQ*
 
*makes getaway by possesing authorities and discintegrating them. then beats up a fish with a fly swatter*
 
*gets revived and backs up 15357 with his NEW handgun (Sig Sauer P228) and charges head on at XANA*

DIE JACKASSES
 
*shoots at anything that moves with the 20mm anti-tank defenses stationed in HQ*

*wonders if the DC will ever recover*
 
*rejects normalness*
*Insane brain creates virus in normal chip*
*Chaos spreads*
 
*releases giant hornet*
 

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Breaking news in Sector 17 today. Good evening, I'm reporter Micheal Tuzee. A small "war" has broken out in a local newspaper known as "The Daily Citizen". Two writers for the newspaper have started a brief quarrel for reasons unknown. Yet a few days ago, a blackhawk crashed into the White House. The pilot, so far, is uninjured. An internal camera shows a transperant black fog-like entity for a breif two seconds. The black fog then goes into the controls and what appears to be an eye is shown on the screen. Minutes after the crash, a guard was showing stange symptoms that include an altering of the pupils that mysteriously match the insignia on the control monitor, a strange voice, and "supernatural powers". It seems the names of the two writers are XANA and ríomhaire. XANA's last attack was using a giant Asian hornet, Vespa mandarinia. Although ríomhaire attempted to retaliate with a similar strategy, XANA seems unphased and virtually unscathed. Perhaps ríomhaire's attack has failed. That's all for right now. I'm Micheal Tuzee.
ríomhaire, the point i'm trying to get at is the image is blank. it's just an X. and, people, don't start whining about this post! i just wanted to do it. so there!
-XANA
 
*shoots XANA before he presses "print" *

I will take credit for that ^.^
the_rebel_medic said:
Breaking news in Sector 17 today. Good evening, I'm reporter Micheal Tuzee. A small "war" has broken out in a local newspaper known as "The Daily Citizen". Two writers for the newspaper have started a brief quarrel for reasons unknown. Yet a few days ago, a blackhawk crashed into the White House. The pilot, so far, is uninjured. An internal camera shows a transperant black fog-like entity for a breif two seconds. The black fog then goes into the controls and what appears to be an eye is shown on the screen. Minutes after the crash, a guard was showing stange symptoms that include an altering of the pupils that mysteriously match the insignia on the control monitor, a strange voice, and "supernatural powers". It seems the names of the two writers are XANA and ríomhaire. XANA's last attack was using a giant Asian hornet, Vespa mandarinia. Although ríomhaire attempted to retaliate with a similar strategy, XANA seems unphased and virtually unscathed. Perhaps ríomhaire's attack has failed. That's all for right now. I'm Micheal Tuzee.
ríomhaire, the point i'm trying to get at is the image is blank. it's just an X. and, people, don't start whining about this post! i just wanted to do it. so there!
Click to expand...
 
i abso-freakin-lutely hate you now :flame:!!!! oh, before i forget, lemme return to the past and do a little readjustment. and TRM, that wasn't a REAL firearm, it was a squirt gun made by overworked, underpaid telemarketers that live in indiana
 
-Event Log-

TRM, the guard captain, shot me, the editor in chief and commanding officer of the DC forces.

Corporal Riomhaire, of the DC corps of engineers, foiled TRM's attempt to insert chips.

Private Kamikaze tried to dessert but Lieutenant Jintor intercepted him

....

Specialist Xana tried to use biological weapons against the DC corps of engineers.
 
I can't help but press 2 s'es for some reason....
 
*Warning: All units commence lockdown procedures. Repeat, all units commence lockdown procedures. Clip is armed and extremely annoying*
 
Hey, guys. Dr. Lemon is a qualified field surgeon (specializes in treatment of female personnel, for some reason) and he is now a valued asset of our military forces er, I mean our newspaper.




Ok, point that gun somewhere else now, please, Dr. Lemon.
 
Oh, what do they feed you in the DC corps of engineers?


Hey! Don't come any closer... Halt. I said halt, damn it. Oh shit.

*initiates lockdown*
 
Good evening, reporter XANA here today. It seems the "Media War" is continuing and doesn't seem like it will stop. Fortunately, no moderators or other HL2.net staff seem to be annoyed. Although it is suspected that a Moderator may try to convince the fighters to surrender, or take their business elsewhere. Incoincidentally, there is no possible way for these specific members to continue their battle. Starting a new thread involving this battle will most likely gain unwanted attention from different members. Should the war stop? I say no, but Moderator ********** says yes. One of the soldiers claims that Specialist XANA is using bio-weapons agains DC Headquarters. It is currently unknown what attack XANA may have planned next, but he may have something up his sleeve. But many fans of XANA's show may have a few clues. They say it could be 01110101 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110010 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110010 01101110 01100101 01110100 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110011 01110011 01100101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101101 01100101 01101101 01100010 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01000100 01000011 00100000 01001000 01010001, or it could be something completely different. That's all for now.
everyone, i sincerely apologize for the large amount of binary. IT'S NOT SPAM!
 
huh!? what the hell? don't attack me!!!:frown: attack the paperclip. uhhh.......... his avatar has absolutely nothing to do with his name! the binary is just used to disguise one of my plans. i don't care if you know what it means! if you want to translate, don't let me stop you.
EDIT: EVERYBODY, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE? I REGRET TO INFORM SOME OF YOU THAT ANY MEDICS IN THIS WAR ARE TO REMAIN ALIVE, AS STATED BY THE RULES OF WAR. TRM, AND, SUPPOSEDLY, DR. NELLY LEMON, ARE MOST LIKELY MEDICS AND ARE RESTRICTED FROM BEING KILLED. DISOBEYING THESE RULES, WHETHER YOU BE A MEDIC OR NOT, QUALIFIES ANYBODY TO TURN AGAINST YOU AND ATTACK. HARMING UNARMED CITIZENS, TAKING HOSTAGES, OR GENERALLY BEING A DICK WILL ALSO RESULT IN THIS PUNISHMENT. ALL WEAPONS HAVE BEEN TAKEN AWAY AND REPLACED EITHER WITH UZI'S OR AMERICAN-180'S. READ THESE RULES CAREFULLY AND THOROUGHLY.
p.s. 100th post. this calls for a sexy party!http://www.asexyparty.ytmnd.com/
 
:borg: checking systems, rebooting, neutral mode activated...report programme online...ready for news :borg:
creeeeeeeeeeeeeee...statyx error...programming failure...will my toaster run Obivion?...shut down...
rebooting...default programming engaged...
:borg: EXTERMINAAAAAATE :borg:
 
15357 is our esteemed editor, and he also holds the keys to the nukes in the basement.
 
*fires at the damned paper clip, missing Dr. Lemon and nicks the keys off 15357 and nuking the damned clip repeditvly providing assistance to Dr. Lemon*
Stupid bastard.
Now, any casualties?
 
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