Things you usually don't tell anyone

- I got caught shoplifting as a kid :rolling:
 
* I have a 'beauty spot' right between my nuts.
* I pee in the bathtub.
* When I was about 14 y/o, my parents weren't home and I did a "wank-a-thon" and managed to score 13 times.

:D
 
Junkie, I hate you, I've only wanked 12 hours in one -entire- day as max :(
* I need to cut down on the wanking because my foreskin on my privateparts is literally tearing apart...:p
 
CTTcrew_MrBlue said:
Why say this stuff? The only thing it will do is make you feel worse about yourself, I certainly have things im embarrased about/ or just dont want to talk about but saying them to people on a public forum is not going to make it better.
Click to expand...

Oh no internets going find out how ****ed up you really are! I feel so ashamed, call the doctors while I am cutting myself from shame... Jesus come on, that's it guys? You can't be THAT BORING.
 
It's much more embarrising to tell this stuff to people you know...*Like when I'm drunk.*cough**
 
Gargantou, I managed to get that record in aprox. 7-8 hours :p

and yes I get wounds on my weewee sometimes too due to overwanking.
 
it would be really weird if someone randomly confesed to like murder of rape wouldn't it.
 
TheUnkillableDot said:
My grades are bad because I am lazy and I pretend I can get through life by playing guitar.
Click to expand...

oh hell yeah...
 
/me can no say because gossip king badgy will tell everyone at teh school :p.
 
Hmmm well let's see....

-One time I drank a whole bottle of vodka and woke up in a pool of my own vomit
-I'm 19, but I'm still attracted to younger girls, 14, 15,etc. (but at least I don't do anything with them :D )
-I blew my chance with the only girl I've really ever liked, and my social life has pretty much been crippled since
-I laugh at racist/ethnic jokes (even when its about me)
-One time me and my friend went begging for a couple hrs, just for the hell of it, made about 100$, spent it all on strippers and booze :O
-We used to go TPing old people's houses

Hmmm well at least it's not as bad as some of those grouphug guys.......
 
grouphug said:
comment and read comments on this confession (beta)


The other day I was trying to take a crap in the communal bathroom but it wasn't coming out right away. There was no one else in the room and I preferred not to crap with anyone else in there, so it needed to happen NOW.
I was suddenly hit by a weird idea, stuck my thumb in my vagina, hooked it around the bump of the poo below, and pushed the thing out. It struck me as being one of the weirder things I've ever done. But it was highly effective, and I recommend it, if you really need to go in a hurry.

well i am a married man and i work as head security at a well known retail outlet.Well one day about 2 hours before we closed i had already sent home the regular security and was the only one there about to leave the back office i saw a young girl shopplifting threw one of the security cameras i went out the back door and went to the front of the store to catch her as she left, i then took her back to the security office and was about to call the head manager at his house(he has to be informed of all shoplifters)then the police but she started crying and begging me not too and saying how if the cops came she would be sent away cuase she had a record and always in trouble i told her she should have thought of that before and again picked up the phone to call she then kept begging me not too and said she would do anything, anything at all for me to let her go well so anyway she ended up giving me a blow job and i also had sex with her right there in the security office and then let her go and i feel so guilty about it now i feel terrible but wow was she good great sex she was only 16 but when i see my wife of 15 years i feel so bad.
comment and read comments on this confession (beta)


i can fit a golf ball in my ass.
Click to expand...
What in the hell is wrong with these people?
 
Let's see...

- I'm a goon, but I never paid the :10bux: It's the account of a friend of a friend who I don't even know, and who never uses it.

- I'm a /b/tard. Bad^Hat, I had you pegged for a 4channer when you said, "You win an internet," in another thread. I also hate Danimal by his association with the GNAA.

- I don't tell many people but my father was violently and deliberately murdered.

- When I do tell people and they say, "Oh I'm so sorry," I tell them "Don't. I'm not." I never shed a single tear for him. Despite that, I actually don't hate my father (any more), and I'm gradually beginning to forgive him for being a right bastard.

- I have a most unhealthy obsession with Bridget...uh, but all of my friends know that.

- I am insanely vain because I'm criminally, ridiculously good-looking. Most people know that I pride myself on my looks, but only one other person knows how meticulous I am about looking good. I'm such a perfectionist that I get angry and self-concious if there is a blemish on my face to the point where I used to actually try to tear them off my face (I don't do that anymore, though). I think that if I were an ugly person I would've cried myself to death already.

- Despite being a nice, good-looking, romantic guy, I have led an incredibly cursed love life. Like, insanely strange things happen in my love life that shouldn't even be possible. I think Fate enjoys f*cking with me.

- I secretly kept wishing the death toll on tsunami victims would rise. When it was 60,000, I thought to myself, "Make it an even hundred." I laugh when I see tsunami pictures that say, "Owned!" I only feel sorry for the children. Everyone else...ha ha!

I think that about covers it. I would echo some other people and say, "I look at too much porn," but everybody who knows me knows that about me. It isn't a secret.
 
This all I can think of right now, trust me there is plenty more. Ha I owned you mr. Reak.
-Ive burnt down 2 houses (accidental)
-Ive burnt down some trees (accidental..again)
-I was genderly confused when I was younger, though I was going to be pregnant one day.
-I tell my current gf I have no problems waiting for sex, when I really do
-My dad does crack but I dont give a shit if he ODs or not, I just need him alive for the next 3 months or so before i move out
-My aunt is a dumb **** Id like to beat the hell out of viciously
-I dont really care about people who die/get hurt that I dont know
-I blow things out of proportion about stupid shit and end up hating my family and myself the majority of the time.
-Did I mention I hate my aunt?
-I know all the secrets of the biggest assholes in my family and Im just waiting around to spill the beans once they make one more comment about my atheism. (ok not really guilty..)
-A friend and I stole tons of pokemon cards and clothes when we were 13 or so. Ended up selling them to all the nerds at our school.
-My mom said she wanted to kill herself and i told her I didnt give a shit
-I like making abortion, gay and racist jokes. You would be right calling me a closet racist.
-Im a snob.
-sex with a guy..no condom
-plotted to kill my dad when I was 16, never did it (thankfully)
-was attracted to a cousin when I was younger
- very insecure
-I lie alot. I try to flatter people I hate, so whenever a situation arises where their skill is being tested they fall flat on their faces and fall into a pit of self loathing and despair. I learned this from my aunt.
-I told my ex that i didnt care when she told me her ex ex was threatening to kill her. (havent heard from her in awhile..)
-Im extremely paranoid, Im susicipious of everyone even my best friend.
-I lash out at my dad all the time for no reason
-I have anxiety problems that I cant control
-I have schitzophrenia.
-Im narcisstic. something i developed early in order to avoid all the shit that goes on in my family
-I am very sensitive about how I live my life, people (especially in my family) make comments about what I do and it makes me feel horrible even though I act like I dont care.
-I could be bipolar..
-low attention span
-I laughed at my dad when he slipped on a water meter and sprung his ankle a week ago.
-I want to cry right now.
-I have a very delusional self concept
-when I was 13 I charged like 500 dollars on sex phone hotline, my mom was nice enough to have it erased.
-I did it again, another 200.
-I took a shit in a church playground under the bleachers, when I went back there was a hole someone dug there.
:angel:
 
I'm liking you more and more, dark.

Hey, what's that on your face?
 
-I am a /b/-tard and laugh at the most crappy of jokes (at least that's the feedback I tend to get)

-I prefferably wank to japanese cartoons rather than real chicks, because most of them looks like crap and I'm too lazy to pick up a girlfriend because I live in a place that consists of 99.9% of people above the age of 70 and all hot chicks are taken/have moved out of town.

-I laugh to rasist and nazi jokes.

-I believe in conspiracies like Illuminati and the assasination of JFK (but not the moon landing, that's just a load of bullcrap)

-I pretend I don't feel offended when someone makes fun of me on IRC, but I sometimes do.

-I'm in fact a christian, but I tend to curse a lot, mainly to look cool, yet I know it makes me look retarded.

-I hate the fact that people can't keep to the language of the country. I live in Sweden, therefore I wish everyone to speak swedish as often as possible, yet I tend to switch the language myself occationally.
 
freeman u have gotta tell us something u usulayy dont tell anyone god u dern thread jacka!! :p
 
zomg u like pervert, oooohhh my eyes noooo

hehe im gunna destroy the Person up thar sumwheres wankathon now :naughty:
 
-Once i went out at night a stole some flowers from a local church just to give them to my mother on mothersday..
 
Shhhhh bliink, I thought this was confidential :O
 
Darkside55 said:
Let's see...

- I'm a goon, but I never paid the :10bux: It's the account of a friend of a friend who I don't even know, and who never uses it.

- I'm a /b/tard. Bad^Hat, I had you pegged for a 4channer when you said, "You win an internet," in another thread. I also hate Danimal by his association with the GNAA.

- I don't tell many people but my father was violently and deliberately murdered.

- When I do tell people and they say, "Oh I'm so sorry," I tell them "Don't. I'm not." I never shed a single tear for him. Despite that, I actually don't hate my father (any more), and I'm gradually beginning to forgive him for being a right bastard.

- I have a most unhealthy obsession with Bridget...uh, but all of my friends know that.

- I am insanely vain because I'm criminally, ridiculously good-looking. Most people know that I pride myself on my looks, but only one other person knows how meticulous I am about looking good. I'm such a perfectionist that I get angry and self-concious if there is a blemish on my face to the point where I used to actually try to tear them off my face (I don't do that anymore, though). I think that if I were an ugly person I would've cried myself to death already.

- Despite being a nice, good-looking, romantic guy, I have led an incredibly cursed love life. Like, insanely strange things happen in my love life that shouldn't even be possible. I think Fate enjoys f*cking with me.

- I secretly kept wishing the death toll on tsunami victims would rise. When it was 60,000, I thought to myself, "Make it an even hundred." I laugh when I see tsunami pictures that say, "Owned!" I only feel sorry for the children. Everyone else...ha ha!

I think that about covers it. I would echo some other people and say, "I look at too much porn," but everybody who knows me knows that about me. It isn't a secret.
Click to expand...

Your really not a nice person at all.

Im not the best looking person in the world but I would much rather "cry myself to death" being you then not being ugly.
 
- sometimes I don't make my bed but tell my mom that I did. Then, I run up and make it after, before she discovers my lie. I'm such a horrible person... ;(
 
- always pretend ill get through exams as i cant be bothered to revise
- do c/wk around 2 days before hand in date...hmm should stop doing that :(
- cant be bothered to have a gf as id rather not be forced to do things i dont want to do.
- i HATE all americans and think they should all be shot
- i want to kill my mother sometimes
- laughed at the 2 towers and screamed 'they deserved it' during an RE debate (about the american deaths)...didnt go down too well
- dumped an almost gf to try and be with someone else
- not bothered about a relationship, just want some :devil:
- pretend to listen and care about girls and their feelings, play that 'you're such a sweet listener' card, easier to seduce them then lol.
- im £645 in debt to my parents for paintball gear
- cant be bothered with a job when i leave school/uni, just want to play paintball and play on my pc (god im so sad)
- am pretty much in love with my best mate's gf...mind u if u saw her you wouldnt blame me :D
- am attracted to my cousin

isnt life great??
 
sometimes i feel i am the next generation of human being (You know like xmen, superman...etc)
:p
 
oh yeah i wish i had the same powers as spiderman sometimes
 
- Narcissistic
- I have to many disorders to count
- My dad and I got in a fight once over him drinking...something he always does but I didn't really care about till then....and I got so pissed off I was gonna kill him and me.
- I'm always paranoid and I don't know what to do anymore
- I'm at the point of breaking and ready to kill myself

So many more things....but I'm afraid to tell you guys...

And for those who don't know what narcissism is let me copy and paste this for you:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements);

is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love;

believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions);

requires excessive admiration;

has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations;

is interpersonally exploitive, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends;

lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others;

is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her;

shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
 
Often i 'wave a hand' at things ("the force" style) to make them go my way. Works great in fact.

For example, if someone is angry, i wave a hand....they will become unangry.

If my computer starts lagging, i wave a hand, the problem is corrected.

If i need the store to not be sold out of something, i wave a hand.

(If i need my warning level to drop, i wave a hand. :p )
 
PvtRyan said:
What a fun thread this is.
Click to expand...

It's disturbing me no end. One of the unique things about the internet is the fact that you can assume ( for the most part ) people are geniune, nice and honest without prejudice over background or looks - something everyone, consciously or otherwise, does in real life. When that assumption disappears, it's difficult to relate to problems without faces.
 
I was going to post some stuff...but I don't think it would really be that important compared to everyone else.
 
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