Understanding females - Hl2.net verison

[Kaptain H]

btw on risk of offending some members ...as a golden rule Star wars should absolutely nver be discussed outside of geek circles ..even as a fan of science fiction I recognise the utter geekiness of anything to do with star wars ..liking it is ok but to avoid being unfairly judge, just keep it to yourself ...nothing kills romantic interest like

geek: "so where do you want to go to dinner, I hear that new star wars themed restuarant is cool"

No way, this is seriously a total Protip. Take your girl out to a nice fancy restaurant (Arby's.) Impress he with your knowledge and insight by speculating about the G Man until the food comes out. Hold up one of your onion rings to her, point to it and say,

"LOOK SIR, DROIDS"

Nothing puts a girl in the mood for romance faster than an appropriately timed Star Wars quote. Jurassic Park works, too.

 

[Druckles]

Pussy > Personality.

Sadly true... But a pussy without a personality? It's barely a pussy at all.

When she's 40, 50, 60, she'll be old and gross. She will have nothing to provide and that's when I scream out, "MID-LIFE CRISIS," slap that bitch, liquidate my possessions and buy a fancy car and pick up some OH-SO-SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET blonde pigtailed highschool girls wearing that bubblegum lipgloss. Who wants to take a ride in daddy's car, you little sluts? Oh yes, you do, YOU do, don't you?

You're brilliant

Geeks rejoice, one day you'll find a mediocre-looking girl who, as time goes by and you realize she's the best option you'll ever find, eventually starts looking hot as Heather Locklear and you'll think she's the best thing on Earth.

I've already decided it's my only/best option. But I'm content with it, because i'm surprised I'm not getting off with worse.

Plus, she left her panties on your floor.

Always a good thing.

*looks at watch... just 15 more years...*

 

[CptStern]

When she's 40, 50, 60, she'll be old and gross. She will have nothing to provide and that's when I scream out, "MID-LIFE CRISIS," slap that bitch, liquidate my possessions and buy a fancy car and pick up some OH-SO-SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET blonde pigtailed highschool girls wearing that bubblegum lipgloss. Who wants to take a ride in daddy's car, you little sluts? Oh yes, you do, YOU do, don't you?

you sound bitter

Geeks rejoice, one day you'll find a mediocre-looking girl

my wife is anything but mediocre ..in fact when I met her my competition for her affections was a 6'5" blond/blue eyed professional hockey player, and a guy who worked out at least 5 days a week

as time goes by and you realize she's the best option you'll ever find, eventually starts looking hot as Heather Locklear and you'll think she's the best thing on Earth.

not at all ..in fact women still flirt with me ..I didnt "settle", i picked who I wanted after a long stint of dating multiple women at any given time

And by the time you're old enough, girls WILL be beating a path to your door

not at all true, cougars dont want men their age ..in fact I find women in their mid twenties are the ones that are most attracted to older males

but they're all going to be middle-aged cougars who've come to realize they'll never find the guy they really want, and their biological clock is ticking, and their mothers are harping them telling them they're never going to get married and they should probably just give up hope on grandkids and then one day you're at a bar for no reason and she's like, "Well, he doesn't seem TOO repugnant" and the next thing you know you drive off in your company sedan and you wake up the next morning and her panties are on the floor and you look at her while she's asleep and you're like, "Could've done worse."

again you sound bitter and it doesnt seem you have that much experience to make a well rounded judgement on the issue, everything you've said to this point hasnt applied to me or anyone I know in my age group

Then in the morning you're looking at her over breakfast and she's thinking the same thing about you, and it's an awkward silence at your little kitchenette and she hastily grabs her clothes and heads out the door mumbling something about work, but you know she'll be back later because you're the best she can hope for at her age.

Plus, she left her panties on your floor.

you've already broken the golden rule ..you go to her house, not yours, you absolutely NEVER bring her back to your house

 

[Druckles]

I don't think most people here talk about geeky things to non-geeks. That's... that's almost like common courtesy, or something. I thought it was obvious.

It's not called obvious. Most geeks don't get the chance to do it.

 

[Druckles]

Really? Most people who go on to post-secondary education at least get the chance to talk to other people.

I have female friends who could be considered geeks by a lot of peoples' standards, and I've never spoken about geeky things to them once... except for when I asked one if she named her dog after the character Misty from Pokemon.

Depends on what you mean by "chance". Sure, they could do, but then they're probably just be ignored. It's always been the way. Separation of society

 

[Dynasty]

Why its great to be single...just cover your ears for most of it if you dont like swearing...BUT ITS SO TRUE:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=R6OaRcsfnY4&feature=related

 

[Darkside55]

you sound bitter

What do you know? What do YOU know about being bitter, Mr. Personality? Everything's just WONDERFUL for you, and your wife who you wrested away from muscley sports-types with your suave geek charm. I bet you really won her over with your mastery of nerd lore.

What do you know, with your women throwing themselves at you? You don't have to be bitter, because you don't even try. They just THROW themselves at you, damn you.

What do you even care? Some of us have to become assholes just to get noticed in this day and age. I didn't want to be bitter. I didn't want to be a jerk. But it's just so goddamned lonely sometimes.

So goddamned lonely...just...sitting here. In my belltower. So don't tell me about bitter. ;(

 

[CptStern]

What do you know? What do YOU know about being bitter, Mr. Personality? Everything's just WONDERFUL for you, and your wife who you wrested away from muscley sports-types with your suave geek charm. I bet you really won her over with your mastery of nerd lore.

What do you know, with your women throwing themselves at you? You don't have to be bitter, because you don't even try. They just THROW themselves at you, damn you.

What do you even care? Some of us have to become assholes just to get noticed in this day and age.

in your case I dont think being noticed is the justification

and women didnt throw themselves at me, I had to work at it like anyone else

I didn't want to be bitter. I didn't want to be a jerk. But it's just so goddamned lonely sometimes.

So goddamned lonely...just...sitting here...in my belltower. So don't tell me about bitter. ;(

who's fault is that?

 

[Darkside55]

THE GOVERNMENT'S!

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

We need a scientific investigation into this "Female" buisness.

EDIT: Darkside/Stern - Holy shit you guys are fast!

 

[Stigmata]

I'm more concerned about Darkside's belltower shenanigans. What happens when he grows weary of our presence upon the Earth?

 

[Darkside55]

Darkside/Stern - Holy shit you guys are fast!

We are a post whirlwind. Putting us in the same thread guarantees it will begin increasing at an exponential factor. I'd get into the maths but it's all very technical.

What happens when he grows weary of our presence upon the Earth?

Bonne nuit.

 

[Druckles]

I'm more concerned about Darkside's bell.

Wait...



Aaah, that's why I'm on my own

 

[Darkside55]

You don't have to be, man.

I ain't trying to be weird or nothing. Don't mistake me. But I'm here, and you're there, and, well...I'm just saying. You don't have to be.

 

[Druckles]

You don't have to be, man.

I ain't trying to be weird or nothing. Don't mistake me. But I'm here, and you're there, and, well...I'm just saying. You don't have to be.

It's true... So um, exactly how far away are you?

I'm fine being on my own (for the most part), at the moment.

 

[CptStern]

You don't have to be, man.

I ain't trying to be weird or nothing. Don't mistake me. But I'm here, and you're there, and, well...I'm just saying. You don't have to be.

hey at least you're taking the right step and reaching out to someone ....


:x

 

[Druckles]

hey at least you're taking the right step and reaching out to someone ....


:x

Well... he could be reaching out to you.

 

[CptStern]

I dont play for that team ..besides I'm married

 

[Druckles]

I dont play for that team ..besides I'm married

*shrugs* You never heard the phrase "experiment". Besides, it's not really an affair if you don't enjoy it

Wait... I should stop doing this before Sulk's on my case...

*hides*

 

[CptStern]

I've done my fair share of experimenting but admittedly it never involved bouncing testicles off my chin :x ...but hey who am I judge? if that's what you're into, the more power to you ...

 

[Darkside55]

I already offered you an escape route to marriage: mid-life crisis. Druckles, I'm only a breath away. Don't leave me hanging, guys. I'm waiting here.

I'm waiting here for anyone. I'm floating out in space. I'm reaching out for anyone...to save me from this plaaaaaaaaaace! I can't remember anything! I'm lost without a trace...again...;(

 

[CptStern]

But I already offered you an escape route: mid-life crisis.

i dont need an escape route, I'm prefectly happy where I am

Druckles, I'm only a breath away. Don't leave me hanging, guys. I'm waiting here.

I'm waiting here for anyone. I'm floating out in space. I'm reaching out for anyone...to save me from this plaaaaaaaaaace! I can't remember anything! I'm lost without a trace...again...;(

why did this instantly spring to mind?

 

[Druckles]

bouncing testicles off my chin

Say no more, best description ever.

I already offered you an escape route to marriage: mid-life crisis. Druckles, I'm only a breath away. Don't leave me hanging, guys. I'm waiting here.

Pay for the flight and I'll come over. Not being in a relationship could have its' perks I guess.

I'm waiting here for anyone. I'm floating out in space. I'm reaching out for anyone...to save me from this plaaaaaaaaaace! I can't remember anything! I'm lost without a trace...again...;(

You should take up singing.

 

[Darkside55]

Pay for the flight and I'll come over. Not being in a relationship could have its' perks I guess.

I ain't rich, fool. Don't you read? I'm living in a belltower. Not exactly prime real estate.

And I sing constantly. I break out into song in public like I was a Disney animated movie.

 

[Druckles]

And I sing constantly. I break out into song in public like I was a Disney animated movie.

Oh God... have you seen that new film...? Enchanted or something??

/facepalm

But yeah, I have this awesome image of you swinging round a lampost in the middle of the street (Back on the way to your Belltower of course)

 

[CptStern]

ugh Disney music is usually made for kids and gay guys who wish they were cinderfella


.....oh wait :O





I'm kidding

 

[Phobie]

ugh Disney music is usually made for kids and gay guys who wish they were cinderfella


.....oh wait :O





I'm kidding

Whoa whoa. Disney music is AWESOME.

 

[Druckles]

He's got a disclaimer at the bottom

 

[CptStern]

Whoa whoa. Disney music is AWESOME.

ok


/scribbles in notepad

 

[Darkside55]

But yeah, I have this awesome image of you swinging round a lampost in the middle of the street (Back on the way to your Belltower of course)

I...I've done that. Seriously, I've done that. I forget what I was singing, but I was with Greenkata and we were singing something, don't remember what, and I jumped up on a lightpost and swung around when I got to this one note.

And I've not yet seen Enchanted, no.

Disney music is usually made for kids

Ever heard the Disney song Hellfire?

 

[Druckles]

I...I've done that. Seriously, I've done that. I forget what I was singing, but I was with Greenkata and we were singing something, don't remember what, and I jumped up on a lightpost and swung around when I got to this one note.

I really want to visit your Belltower now. It sounds awesome.

And I've not yet seen Enchanted, no.

Urgh, it looks awfully cheesily awful.

 

[CptStern]

Ever heard the Disney song Hellfire?

can you picture Iggy Pop singing it on stage while cutting himself cuz he's too ****ed on heroin? ...no?, not interested in overproduced pap

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

I'm not rescueing you again Darkside, its time you took responsibilty for your space floating.

 

[Darkside55]

I'm just saying, you might think Disney songs are for kids, but some of them, maaaaaaaan...

Hellfire's a song about a woman tempting him, he's having dirty thoughts about her, and so he's either going to have her as his bride or he's going to ****ing BURN HER ALIVE.

Which brings us back to understanding women, those vile temptresses, forcing us into sin.

 

[CptStern]

I'm just saying, you might think Disney songs are for kids, but some of them, maaaaaaaan...

like Elton John's "can you feel the love tonight"? ...ya well I'm holding onto my love atm, and it's pointing in your general direction


even Sting, who I normally like debased himself by producing pap in the form of a disney song ..and randy newman doesnt count cuz he always sounds like that

Hellfire's a song about a woman tempting him, he's having dirty thoughts about her, and so he's either going to have her as his bride or he's going to ****ing BURN HER ALIVE.

meh the bible has similiar stories, and the bible isnt exactly "cool"

 

[Druckles]

It was obviously all the women's fault when the Christians burnt them alive or drowned them .

Vile indeed Darkseid.

 

[Darkside55]

like Elton John's "can you feel the love tonight"?

I used to be able to play that on the piano. I used to play and sing for my school's choir. That shit's dirty though, if you go back and watch that scene.

Nala's eyes the way she looks at Simba. See, THAT'S why we have furries, people! Those bedroom eyes, from a lioness. What the hell, Disney? You knew this would happen. You knew.

meh the bible has similiar stories, and the bible isnt exactly "cool"

Put into the right context it is. A flood that wipes out everything? That is awesome. Plagues ravaging your enemies? F*cking awesome. Dumah, the thousand-eyed angel of death who wields a fiery rod and flaming sword? Man that's pimp shit. You can't say it isn't, because if you were driving down the highway one day and all of a sudden outside of your window you saw a twelve-winged glowing man with a thousand eyes all over his body, swinging a sword wreathed in flame and behind him followed locusts, fire raining from the sky, and a giant wave, you know you'd be like, "Oh shit, I'm tripping off acid but this is ****ing COOL!"

It was obviously all the women's fault when the Christians burnt them alive or drowned them .

For serious man. They put bad thoughts in our heads.

 

[Druckles]

I used to be able to play that on the piano. I used to play and sing for my school's choir. That shit's dirty though, if you go back and watch that scene.

Nala's eyes the way she looks at Simba. See, THAT'S why we have furries, people! Those bedroom eyes, from a lioness. What the hell, Disney? You knew this would happen. You knew.

It's true. Everything you just. Fact. New name - Factside/Darkfact/Factman. Take your pick

For serious man. They put bad thoughts in our heads.

Also another reason for furries?

 

[PvtRyan]

All of Furrydom is based on Disney. No one ever became a furry through David Attenborough. Damn you, Disney!

 

[Seppo]

It was obviously all the women's fault when the Christians burnt them alive or drowned them

better make that pie next time they're told to do so