Your funniest sex moment

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Solaris I hope you meant to say "I very much hope it does last"
 
He's 23! A best mate got engaged to his fiancee a year or so a go - he was 18 she was 16 or 17.
 
Granted, I'm still amazed he's getting married. Him getting married is like me not getting suprise buttsechs...just...doesn't sit right!
:eek:
 
Oops, lol.

I meant to say I hope his marriage doesn't fail.

Ho ho, what humerous results that typo had.
 
I'm getting married to my man the second I have a chance. Long Distance Relationships are HARDD.... And I swear once we're together we're nevar growing apart ^__^

TEEHEE!!!

Sex story?
Simple one that I thought was funny later that night.
Well, I am young.
So naturally I am a virgin. And yes I am very proud of it bahaha.
Now.
Guys are constantly trying to get their fingers down my pants and shiz lieek that to turn me on and hopefully move from there.
But umm...
One time I totally played a bitch trick on a guy.
Like he tried to give me a good jab in the vagingo at a rave..
And I totally went along with it.
The second he went down to like, iono, kiss my tummy or something.... (Hopefully only that ><)
Got a good boot tip as hard as I could to his balls.

I won that night.
he cried and I got a good laugh.

Okay I've gone too far.
heartless bitch here, I admit it.
 
Hooooooooookay then.

*backs away*

*invests in jock straps*
 
LOL ^
those posts above made me laugh
then guitars savior says "sex is good for you"
 
carlyftwbaby said:
I'm getting married to my man the second I have a chance. Long Distance Relationships are HARDD.... And I swear once we're together we're nevar growing apart ^__^

TEEHEE!!!

Sex story?
Simple one that I thought was funny later that night.
Well, I am young.
So naturally I am a virgin. And yes I am very proud of it bahaha.
Now.
Guys are constantly trying to get their fingers down my pants and shiz lieek that to turn me on and hopefully move from there.
But umm...
One time I totally played a bitch trick on a guy.
Like he tried to give me a good jab in the vagingo at a rave..
And I totally went along with it.
The second he went down to like, iono, kiss my tummy or something.... (Hopefully only that ><)
Got a good boot tip as hard as I could to his balls.

I won that night.
he cried and I got a good laugh.

Okay I've gone too far.
heartless bitch here, I admit it.
Click to expand...

Worst.

Hooker.

Ever.
 
erm he was trying to get his way with her... im glad you stood up to him although leading him on like that was a bit sadistic.
 
mindless_moder said:
I'm sure if a guy was grabbing your ass at a gay bar you wouldnt just say "no" ... why a guy at a gay bar ? because i doubt anyone would refuse a girl grabbing your ass at a club :(...
Click to expand...

I'd more of wonder why I was in a gay bar, and then kick myself in the nuts, but I see your point.


Should'nt be :thumbs: for yes, and :sniper: for no, though, lol.
 
Apparently, Carly hasn't found a guy with the magical fingers.... ;)
 
Where is Jnightshade, I'm sure she won't say no to a magical tongue either :p
 
Beerdude26 said:
Where is Jnightshade, I'm sure she won't say no to a magical tongue either :p
Click to expand...

I like to think mines rather OK. When a tongue can go far enough to hit the G-spot, you can't go too wrong. maybe had another finger in there for a bit of stretch action, or rub the clit. Then you've got it made. Oh, a story I just remembered! WOO

I was going down on this girl, and I guess I was doing really good, because she kept shoving my face in, moaning really loud *we WERE trying to be quiet...having roomates/etc in the other room...* and now fast forward 15 minutes...she essentially spazzes out, flailing her arms around, and tosses me off essentially. She's panting to death. I go to talk, but my tongue hurts so bad from stretching like that, and my jar was locked, that sucked! So trying to say something to her came out like "slushruaca*drool*slrhrua!" That's when we decided we'd just go with teh sex at that time...
 
Knowing me I put it on wrong. And in before some jagoff comes with "YER DOIN IT WRONG".

This thread is awesome. Post more stories people!
 
How the hell do you reach the G-spot with your tongue? (My gf doesn't enjoy head so I've only done it twice) I doubt I'd ever be able to get there D:
 
Beerdude26 said:
How the hell do you reach the G-spot with your tongue? (My gf doesn't enjoy head so I've only done it twice) I doubt I'd ever be able to get there D:
Click to expand...

I decided to try something new with my g/f at the time. So while I was inside her, I decided to put a finger in the top, so I could get the gspot a little better. Well, that blew her mind I guess. She was convulsing, shaking, the whole 9 yards. She tells me to stop, screaming at the top of her lungs. I'll never understand why a girl wants you to stop when something feels so damn good?
 
CyberPitz said:
I'll never understand why a girl wants you to stop when something feels so damn good?
Click to expand...

yea, I don't get that either. stop? why would I do that? I want your mind to explode in sheer awesomeness. I want the neighbors to take up smoking.
 
Kamikazi said:
yea, I don't get that either. stop? why would I do that? I want your mind to explode in sheer awesomeness. I want the neighbors to take up smoking.
Click to expand...

OMG ROFL! :D The neighbours bit got me. lol I dunno why I found it so funny, but I did.

Pitz has the tounge of a frog.
 
Well one im not too proud of.. lol

My ex and i bout 2 years back got really shittfaced... and decided to fool around drunk as skunks. We got into a 69 position and started workin each other over...

But what i thought was her puss, was really her ass... i have never seen a woman go soo wide eyed before in my ****ing life! ahahahah god that was funny..

Needless to say the 69 dosnt hold much arousement for me any more:( lolz

PEACE
 
Max_Payne said:
Well one im not too proud of.. lol

My ex and i bout 2 years back got really shittfaced... and decided to fool around drunk as skunks. We got into a 69 position and started workin each other over...

But what i thought was her puss, was really her ass... i have never seen a woman go soo wide eyed before in my ****ing life! ahahahah god that was funny..

Needless to say the 69 dosnt hold much arousement for me any more:( lolz

PEACE
Click to expand...

I'll admit, the first time I did it, I was drunk as **** as well. Ass doesn't taste so good. Then again, the only time I do 69 is when I'm wasted, so.....yeah. I don't think I could do it sober.

Oh, speaking of what Sam said about neighbors smoking....I was going at it with this girl, and boy was she fun. But I didn't realize the windows were open, *blinds were down though* and she started to scream, like bloody murder...and after we were done, I glance towards the window, and see shadows in the blinds. I know whats up, so I start to laugh and say "NOW YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL EAT YOUR BRAIN!!!" The kids just took off screaming.
 
This is the best thread ever.

yes, better than don't laugh.
 
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