Your funniest sex moment

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Wanted Bob said:
Yes but it was kinda funny. Personally I wouldnt laugh at my girlfriend if she smacked a wall like that (spur of the moment thing I guess), but that was funny how your mom just stopped, gave you cookies and left.
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She laughed instantly, too surprisingly. If she was really hurt I would have felt like a dick (she had enough of that haha).
 
So a friend was going out with this girl and we're all at a party. They disappear upstairs and we all know what they're up to. Then, about five minutes later, the girl comes downstairs, stumbling drunk, half naked, giggling wildly, clutching the sheets from the host's parents bed. Apparently my friend's very short lived orgasm produced massive results, in both the spunk and piss departments. Gross drunkard he is.
Needless to say we all left as fast as we could in the morning before the parents arrived home.
Apparently the parents noticed a funny smell but asked nothing more, and my friend has never lived it down.
 
Baserape> said:
Farting and following through at the point of climax.
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Reginald said:
So a friend was going out with this girl and we're all at a party. They disappear upstairs and we all know what they're up to. Then, about five minutes later, the girl comes downstairs, stumbling drunk, half naked, giggling wildly, clutching the sheets from the host's parents bed. Apparently my friend's very short lived orgasm produced massive results, in both the spunk and piss departments. Gross drunkard he is.
Needless to say we all left as fast as we could in the morning before the parents arrived home.
Apparently the parents noticed a funny smell but asked nothing more, and my friend has never lived it down.
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There is that rare time when you just watch or read something on the internet and you just burst out laughing. :LOL:
 
Am I the only person who flips out when a girl tries to start things with you when you're asleep? Then again, I usually get some on my blankets when that happens...Sunavabitch.
 
CyberPitz said:
Am I the only person who flips out when a girl tries to start things with you when you're asleep? Then again, I usually get some on my blankets when that happens...Sunavabitch.
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yes, or at the very least your the only one I have seen flip out.
 
This whole thread is BS since I seriously doubt more than 3 of the members here even have a girl...
 
Ridge said:
This whole thread is BS since I seriously doubt more than 3 of the members here even have a girl...
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What a profound observation this is. On the Internet, no less.

:rolleyes:

Jerk-bag
 
Ridge said:
This whole thread is BS since I seriously doubt more than 3 of the members here even have a girl...
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Yes, because everybody knows if you use the internet *which most people in USA do...* you can't get a girlfriend. I thought retarded stereotypes about "nerds" died off in 1990.
nerd.jpg
 
Ridge said:
This whole thread is BS since I seriously doubt more than 3 of the members here even have a girl...
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Says the guy with every possible detail of his computer specs listed in his signature, and who has over 700 posts on an internet gaming forum.
 
That guy is ok in my book

Vegeta897 said:
Says the guy with every possible detail of his computer specs listed in his signature, and who has over 700 posts on an internet gaming forum.
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ZING!

<3 Vegeta
 
I know look at his PC. He must be crawling with women.
 
Ridge said:
This whole thread is BS since I seriously doubt more than 3 of the members here even have a girl...
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So everyone on the internet aside from you is a socially-retarded computer nerd, right?
 
Kamikazi said:
I'm getting married in a few months, thank you very much.
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Heck, Sam here has seen one of my sexual exploits *which I've said here..*
CyberPitz said:
Kami, you seem to forget the time Sandra, that mexican chick, came over, and me and her were piss drunk...and we were in that chair, and she was giving me a handjob, and, according to someone else that was there, you were staring. :p
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Oh god, the day Carly tells some sex story is the day HL2.net goes down due to bandwidth usage.
 
CyberPitz said:
Am I the only person who flips out when a girl tries to start things with you when you're asleep? Then again, I usually get some on my blankets when that happens...Sunavabitch.
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Going back to this, yes. Just drifting off to sleep when... "What? Again?"
It's worst when it's a single bed...
 
Reginald said:
Going back to this, yes. Just drifting off to sleep when... "What? Again?"
It's worst when it's a single bed...
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Lol, since I don't get enough sleep anyway, when I get waken it, I'm just like, "AAHHH SSLEEEPP!!"

Then you get your jizz on the blanket because you're so tired you can't aim right...
 
It's a massive mistake to get married so young kami.
 
CyberPitz said:
Lol, since I don't get enough sleep anyway, when I get waken it, I'm just like, "AAHHH SSLEEEPP!!"

Then you get your jizz on the blanket because you're so tired you can't aim right...
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Or in her hair. Then while she goes off to wash it out, you can get some much needed shut-eye. Not that I'd ever have such an ulterior motive. It was an unfortunate accident... :cheese:
 
Reginald said:
Or in her hair. Then while she goes off to wash it out, you can get some much needed shut-eye. Not that I'd ever have such an ulterior motive. It was an unfortunate accident... :cheese:
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She was like, "You shoulda got it in my hair then" because I was like "Crap, damn blanket is all white and crusty now!"
 
Solaris said:
It's a massive mistake to get married so young kami.
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my good sir, you have shown me the error of my decision. I shall call her up right now and tell her that the wedding is off due to it being a mistake at our age. there is no way that it could possibly work, it is statisticly impossible. thank you for your wisdom, please tell me when I should get married. is 35 ok? how about 40? 60?
 
this thread is becoming more serious then funny. CMON MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!
 
Kamikazi said:
my good sir, you have shown me the error of my decision. I shall call her up right now and tell her that the wedding is off due to it being a mistake at our age. there is no way that it could possibly work, it is statisticly impossible. thank you for your wisdom, please tell me when I should get married. is 35 ok? how about 40? 60?
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Well actually, it is extremely unlikely your wedding will last, but I wish you all the luck in the world and very much hope it doesn't.
 
Solaris said:
Well actually, it is extremely unlikely your wedding will last, but I wish you all the luck in the world and very much hope it doesn't.
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Wow, what an asshole.

Post more funny stories! Carly you best post your dammit! Don't see many girls round these parts and you wont be able to hold off the drooling nerds for long :D
 
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