Your funniest sex moment

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bahahahaha.
head is SO nasty.
I would NEVER EVER DO IT. Unless like, well. iono for my guy I would do anything ^_~
But like I don't let guys do crap to me because I am loyal and shiz, and I am totally property of my lover... But yah.

in other words no more guys getting near me.. unless it's him of course. (long distance relationshipp -_-)

Okay. So. G-spot with your tongue? Possible. I know where my spot is, easy to reach I bet. And F Condoms. Seriously. If you are with a girl who needs condoms, say "get ****ed with something hard and sand-papery, go get birth control."

I myself am "barren" apparently... The doctors are sure I'm not a walking baby-maker. So ya know ^_~ I got it good, so does my man.

*cracks knuckles* sexy time everyyy night.

Too bad I can't pass on his legacy someday, but f it, if I was to have a girl, I would smuther it with a pillow. bahahah j//k. well... maybe not... ugh whatever.


I'll buy horses or adopt a little demonseed.
 
CyberPitz said:
I'll admit, the first time I did it, I was drunk as **** as well. Ass doesn't taste so good. Then again, the only time I do 69 is when I'm wasted, so.....yeah. I don't think I could do it sober.

Oh, speaking of what Sam said about neighbors smoking....I was going at it with this girl, and boy was she fun. But I didn't realize the windows were open, *blinds were down though* and she started to scream, like bloody murder...and after we were done, I glance towards the window, and see shadows in the blinds. I know whats up, so I start to laugh and say "NOW YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL EAT YOUR BRAIN!!!" The kids just took off screaming.
Click to expand...

wait, you can reach that far up her? o.o bahaha I kid. ^_~
 
carlyftwbaby said:
Okay. So. G-spot with your tongue? Possible. I know where my spot is, easy to reach I bet.
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why would you want to hit the g-spot with your tongue? that's some stupid shit right there.

jesus gave us fingers for a reason.
 
GENERALLY.
IT doesn't take a genious my friend to know what your mind && your body REALLY wants.
 
69 is OK...but there are times when you're nose is a BIT too close to the ass....
...
SHIT NUGGETS!!
 
CyberPitz said:
69 is OK...but there are times when you're nose is a BIT too close to the ass....
...
SHIT NUGGETS!!
Click to expand...
That's where the fun's at. you know deep down that somewhere in there, there's GOLD
 
carlyftwbaby said:
GENERALLY.
IT doesn't take a genious my friend to know what your mind && your body REALLY wants.
Click to expand...
experience is everything , you don't know what something tastes like until you taste it.... similarly you have no way of quantifying a sexual experience until you've experienced it.
 
Wow

Such a odd situation also someone experience that at the time phone ring buzz or doorbell buzz are also put in such type of situation.....
 
CyberPitz said:
69 is OK...but there are times when you're nose is a BIT too close to the ass....
...
SHIT NUGGETS!!
Click to expand...
That's a bit rough mate, well, more than a 'bit' rough :/

Do the girls you see not wash before you see them :|
 
Oh why, WHY did you have to say nugget.

That's my appetite ruined for the evening...
 
The girls never expect to see me.
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that's both wrong, and yet right in so many ways :)


probably worst moment was when i was with this chick i had been foolin round with for a while. We were goin for it after a mates party and i came a little early. Dont laugh itll happen to all of us one time or another :p

anyway i made a fool of myself apologising a lot(ie: 'sorry shit, sorry sorry sorry, i dont know what happened') she kinda just laughed and said its ok since it has never happened before she was goin to let this one slide. yeah so anyway i made it up to her. ****ing awesome ay. Worst **** up ever turned into a good little. **** of a situation to be in :laugh

anyone else ****ed up like this?

(note if it happens to you, just apologise and make it up with oral ;))
 
Originally Posted by victor View Post
women don't know what they want.

G-spot needs lots of stimulation, hence the fingers.
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Haha, i dont need my fingers bro, just my tounge and my keen sense of smell

Edit: That came out sooo wrong
 
I don't think Dinkleberry got my original reference, but I think Krynn did :p
 
mindless_moder said:
i've heard that the smell can get pretty bad ....
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It can if they haven't cleaned down there in a while. Most girls clean that area daily. It's great when they do the fruit smelly stuff, then I make excuses to go down :O
 
bliink would probably ban you all if she was still around D:
 
... Yogurt?

D:

[edit] Oh, nevermind, you said spitter, not splitter.
 
I remember making a thread about this little story before, but now that I find it hilarious, here we go!

This girl I work with, she was one of them flirty girls that knew guys wanted to bone her, so she'd flaunt it every day...bending over, showing 1/2 her ass, rubbing against you, groping you, etc. Well, I took advantage of this, and took her back to my place one day, we had sex *wasn't great...she's skinnier than the actresses these days!...it was like having sex with a board.* and we went on with our lives.

Well, fast forward a month, time for another booty call! We are at my place, and shit starts heating up whilst watching a movie, and I get hard, but then it kind of fades, like it's saying, "OH HELL NAW! NOT HER AGAIN!" So she was sitting there making out with me *like that's going to get it hard again, bitch.* and nothing happens, so I just kind of roll over and fall asleep.

Ahhh, that little guy saved me. Come to find out, she apparently gained some STD that I don't remember, but sure as hell didn't want. So, +1 for intuitive penis.
 
And people say that thinking with your penis will get you in trouble. Bah! to them!
 
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