1001 signs that you've played too much Half Life
- Thread starter Tantalus
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T
tehexchro
Guest
277) You take all of the hands off your clocks at home.
H
Hunt3r88
Guest
there are now 3 different 10, 11 and 12 reasons 
T
tehexchro
Guest
278) Barney is not a puprle dinosaur!
L
lukrebu
Guest
#278 sucked.
F
Fenbab
Guest
279) When you start to see a crosshair in front of your eyes
280) When you start wondering what a blue gravity gun would do to your teacher/boss/dog/neighbour/chair/guy who pisses you off in the traffic/guy ho pisses you off in the traffic's car/some random things you see in the street....
280) When you start wondering what a blue gravity gun would do to your teacher/boss/dog/neighbour/chair/guy who pisses you off in the traffic/guy ho pisses you off in the traffic's car/some random things you see in the street....
L
lukrebu
Guest
The above post should be renumbered. Geez, get with the program.
edit: Nevermind, good job, you did it quickly. I applaud you.
edit: Nevermind, good job, you did it quickly. I applaud you.
L
lukrebu
Guest
Tantalus said:
281) You think about what you could do with your girlfriend and a gravity gun.
S
Sir Smokealot
Guest
282 - You keep staring at the tv for hours on end hoping to see a flickering image of the Gman
283 - Whenever there's something on tv you don't wanna see, you pick it up and jerk the tv along
with the cord out of the socket, instead of just turning it off
283 - Whenever there's something on tv you don't wanna see, you pick it up and jerk the tv along
with the cord out of the socket, instead of just turning it off
284: When you go to open a window you automatically look for a power cord, and you get upset when you can't find one
285: You insist that your friends must do all talking for you.
286: When you want someone to follow you, you point and say, "You, citizen, come with me!"
287: You rip clothes up just cause it gives you an excuse to duct tape them up!
288: You wear only orange and black clothing
285: You insist that your friends must do all talking for you.
286: When you want someone to follow you, you point and say, "You, citizen, come with me!"
287: You rip clothes up just cause it gives you an excuse to duct tape them up!
288: You wear only orange and black clothing
L
lukrebu
Guest
I, for one, got what you meant cj.
L
lukrebu
Guest
Really, Tant, where are you going to come across a houndeye in real life? A dog was his way of relating it to the real world. Thought that was obvious.
S
Sir Smokealot
Guest
290 - You've found a hidden Vortigaunt and keep pressing 'use' to
hear what he's got to say, lol, even though you've done it before.
291 - To you, every sign you see says; "Ravenholm".
292 - You risk your life through a radioactive sewer, hoping to find
a hidden Vortigaunt.
hear what he's got to say, lol, even though you've done it before.
291 - To you, every sign you see says; "Ravenholm".
292 - You risk your life through a radioactive sewer, hoping to find
a hidden Vortigaunt.
293 - When ever you hear a buzzing sound around you, you have an urge to smash whatever's making that sound into pieces.
294 - When ever you see a person with a white shirt and blue jeans you watch them carefully
295 - When ever you see the drain pipes shake you feel a need for a shotgun...
296 - You dream about building your own teleportation machine
297 - Whenever you pick up a little squeeqy toy and squeeze it, you are hoping your ant lions will come out of the ground.
298 - You think twice about passing under what looks like a dangling rope..
299 - Whenever there's a car in your way on the roads, you want to push "G" and move it manually.
300 - You spend 45 mins reading all 300 of these quotes. YEA got 300 :afro: :dork: :frog:
294 - When ever you see a person with a white shirt and blue jeans you watch them carefully
295 - When ever you see the drain pipes shake you feel a need for a shotgun...
296 - You dream about building your own teleportation machine
297 - Whenever you pick up a little squeeqy toy and squeeze it, you are hoping your ant lions will come out of the ground.
298 - You think twice about passing under what looks like a dangling rope..
299 - Whenever there's a car in your way on the roads, you want to push "G" and move it manually.
300 - You spend 45 mins reading all 300 of these quotes. YEA got 300 :afro: :dork:
:frog:demon_fall
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CS:S related but anyhow...
301: Whenever someone asks you a really annoying or complicated question, you tell them to press F10, and hope they will disapear for a while.
- Demon_Fall
301: Whenever someone asks you a really annoying or complicated question, you tell them to press F10, and hope they will disapear for a while.
- Demon_Fall
Funky Munky
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302. Everytime you see a wooden palette you try to grab it using your Gravity Gun.
S
Sir Smokealot
Guest
304 - You start killing ppl and causing mayhem, hoping the Gman will acknowledge your talents.
305 - You search every place for hidden switches, hoping to find an HEV suit.
306 - You check entrances for lasers that might trigger sentry-turrets.
Yadalogo's 304 - Already been said.
305 - You search every place for hidden switches, hoping to find an HEV suit.
306 - You check entrances for lasers that might trigger sentry-turrets.
Yadalogo's 304 - Already been said.
Here is a few I posted on a similar thread on the steam forums under the name "Dendrite"
307) When you start "ooohing and ahhhhing",at the high,silky smooth "frame rate" of your REAL life.
308)You walk into a butcher and start smashing actual crabs in the display case with your crowbar.
309) You throw your mother down the stairs just to see that cool "Ragdoll affect",then you mutter to yourself "well,the physics are better in hl2.
310) When you see a daddy long legs spider,and think "Oh my god! the combine must be using nano technology to shrink striders!
311) You wake up after playing hl2 all night,and in you confusion you start placing various objects in front of you,making "stepping stones" leading to your bathroom,convinced that if you step on your carpet the ant lions will get you!
312) You are amazed at the totally unscripted "AI" of everyone around you.
313)You mistake the fumagation man next door as a combine soldier,walk over and proceed to bludgen him on the head with your crow bar,and you are then purplexed as to why you dont hear that Beeeeeeeeep sound,even though you hit him 50 times and you are sure that he is dead!!.
314) you start throwing soda cans at regular cops on the street.
315) You try to talk,but no matter how hard you try,you cant!!
316) You wake up look around and think "Yes! a new expansion pack" then you get out of bed walk right up to your wall and say"and its high definition!.
317) You walk around tentitively first forward,then backwards then side to side then suddenly spin around quickly,then you think "omg Valves finally solved the stuttering!
318) Over the last week you have been playing hl2 just before you wake up,you hear "Wake up and smell the ashes"then you snap awake,wondering why you fell like you have been asleep for 6 years!!
319)When ever you feel something exciting is going to happen,you hear hl2 songs start blearing in your head.
320) When someone asks you for help,you tell them "Update your drivers".
321) Someone tells you to clean up your mess and you say "Thats not mess their "artifacts"
322) a person you know has a headache and you advice is "Just adjust your refresh rate".
323) At haloween you set fire to any kid that remotely resembles a headcrab zombie!!
324) you have the hl2 hud image permanetly burned on your cornea.
325) Your eyes permanetly display you computer monitor.
326) When someone talks to you you ammediatly relply in a single tone robotic voice "failed to load snd file blah..blah...blah ect.
327)you take control of a crane at a construction site and think to yourself "man I cant believe how interactive the environment is" as you happily pickup and drop matal containers on innocent peoples heads,all the while hearing that hl2 crane song in you head.
328) You deide to jump out of you 2nd story bedroom window "Just to see what would happen" and when you hit the ground your shoked to hear a womans voice out of nowhere say "emergency user death imminent",when you thought all you would get is "major fracture detected".
329) Everyday when you are just going about your daily buisness you keep hearing barneys voice say "Hey Gordon!" but you cant find the source and its starting to drive you insane!
330) You wake up,but everything is totally dark no a sound can be heard you start to panic,and just as your about to freak out a image box pops up in front of you seemingly hovering in mid air the words read "Validating hl2 files",you scream ohhh dear goood noooo! not again!! then you slip back to sleep.
331) you go to you bathroom shortly after waking up,and as you stand in front of your mirror,you just stand there awe struck because you have absoulutly no reflection!.....accept the faint refection of a HEV suit and crowbar.
332)You walk outside and think to yourself "Man god must have one kick as* computer!! he can turn everything wayyyy up and still maintain a high framerate,and not a jagged edge to be seen!!
333)Whenever you see a plank of wood you start violently swiping it with your invisable crowbar!!
334) Whenever you have visitors you greet them by saying "welcome,welcome to my home,its safer here".
335) You find yourself,over a period of time not being able to walk,but luckily you manage to stumble across a workaround for your predicament,you find out that all you do is hold out your left hand,as if about to type on an invisible keyboard ,then extend your right hand,grasping an invisible mouse.
Using your "Keyboard hand" to move and your "mouse hand" to look solves the problem!!,nothing else seems to work,nice going Valve!!
336) Your watching tv with your family with a blank look on your face,without warning you get up,pick up the tv rip the power cord out of the wall then throw it through the window.your family just looks at you mouths gaping,then after a long pause one of them says "why the why the f**k did you do that??"to which you reply in a vague far away voice "I jussst wanted to seee how cooool it would look..."then you slowly turn back around and sit down and continue to starr blankly at the now non existent tv!!
337)When you cant tell the difference from real life and hl2,then you think "ahhh the hell with it,ill just hit someone over the head with a crowbar,better that than run the risk of having health taken off me!
338) You take a knife turn on your toaster and stick the knife into it and while you are getting electrocuted your friend says"what the hell re you doing man!! to which you reply "tttrryying ttttooo chchcharge mmmmmy hhheeevvee sssuit!!!
339) You start talking like the g-man and your family starts to get really concerned about you saying stuff like "Honey why are talking like a retard again,honey your scaring mee!please answer me! and while she is trying to get through to you,you are stuck on a continues loop"time to smell the ashes-time to smell the ashes-time to smell the ashes--over and over again untill theres little choice left but to call "The men in the white coats"and as they are dragging you away you keep screaming "I am the G-man I tell you!!! the G-man!!.
once you get to the hospital a doctor comes up to you and in your dillusion you say "Ahhhh dr.Kleiner good to see you my friend"the doctor ignores you for a moment then in a patronising way says"So now,my friend who are you again??
you relpy "I told you im the gman!!!",to which the docter says "yesss of course you are,..nurse he is going to need 50mg of morphine STAT..
Just as your struggling you start seeing the room become brighter and brighter,untill it is so bright it engulfs you..then you suddenly snap out of it ..and your sitting on a chair..not just any chair,oh no,it is YOUR chair,and as your eyes begin to refocuss you see your monitor gradually fadeing back into view,with half-life 2 written across the screen.
340)When your friend says to you,"OMG!! I can see hl2 movies playing on the surface of your eyes!!
341) Instead of using your front door to get into your room you begin scouring the streets for crates,you start stacking them up to reach your room 2 floors up,just as you are about to enter through the window an old lady(suspecting you of braking in)says in a typical "old lady voice","young man what are you doing",
Unable to talk for "some reason" you begin sribbling on a piece of paper" when your dome you crumple it up a throw it down at the old lady feet.she picks it up uncrumples it and the note simply said "practicing"
342)When you have forgotton most of the english language,accept for phrases found in hl2
343) when your family wonders who this smelly unshaven,hairy man is you keeps eating all their food!!
344)When you could have sworn you just mowed the lawn,but when you look outside its 5 feet high.
345) You gasp when you see a stray dog in your house only to realise that it is in fact you dog,only "somehow" 15lbs thinner!
346) When your so hungry even headcrabs are sounding good to you.
347) When you go swimming you keep looking around expecting flaming barrels to smash you in the head.
348) You go to the furniture store and start picking up book cases and draws,then smashing then onto the managers head when he gets too close to you.
349) When ever you see any sort of valve you have an irrisistable urge to "turn" it.
350) Your banned from going to any warehouse,factory or any other place where there are boxes crates or wood of any kind.
351) When your driving in your car and you have an intense desire to floor it and plough through the traffic cop to see if the "real world" physics are as good as hl2.
352)Your watching some people play football,and one of them asks you to join in and you say"sorry,dont have my disk inserted"
353) Your extremely paranoid when you go to the beach,but you dont know why and when its time to leave,you begin jumping from one persons towel to another,untill safely on the pavement.
354) People begin to get blinded by the reflection of your white skin,due to extreme lack of sun.
355) Natural light blinds you for several minutes,you are now developing a dependency on wearing sun shades,even in the house,quite odd is the fact that you dont have to wear them at all when looking at your monitor.
Upon further "testing"you realise that your brain and eyes are now only compatible with your computer monitors refreshrate,and there the "out side world" is just too much for your eyes to take.
356) You start calling your girlfriend Alyx in bed!!
357) Whenever you see an old man with a beard,you run after him going bizzzzz peooo...bizzzzzz peooo with your imaginary gravity gun!
358) You legaly change your name to Gordon Freeman,and get G-Man licence plates for your car,your hood ornament is the hl2 symbol the color is black cold steel of the citadel,when you honk the horn your hear the Valve intro music play,and on your dashboard you have a g-man bobbing doll and when you push his head down he says various phrases such as "Wake up and smell the ashes"and"time to choose" ect..ect.
359)When someone stutters you say "dont worry,just say that exact same thing again and I bet you wont stutter because the sound file is allready loaded in you brain!"
307) When you start "ooohing and ahhhhing",at the high,silky smooth "frame rate" of your REAL life.
308)You walk into a butcher and start smashing actual crabs in the display case with your crowbar.
309) You throw your mother down the stairs just to see that cool "Ragdoll affect",then you mutter to yourself "well,the physics are better in hl2.
310) When you see a daddy long legs spider,and think "Oh my god! the combine must be using nano technology to shrink striders!
311) You wake up after playing hl2 all night,and in you confusion you start placing various objects in front of you,making "stepping stones" leading to your bathroom,convinced that if you step on your carpet the ant lions will get you!
312) You are amazed at the totally unscripted "AI" of everyone around you.
313)You mistake the fumagation man next door as a combine soldier,walk over and proceed to bludgen him on the head with your crow bar,and you are then purplexed as to why you dont hear that Beeeeeeeeep sound,even though you hit him 50 times and you are sure that he is dead!!.
314) you start throwing soda cans at regular cops on the street.
315) You try to talk,but no matter how hard you try,you cant!!
316) You wake up look around and think "Yes! a new expansion pack" then you get out of bed walk right up to your wall and say"and its high definition!.
317) You walk around tentitively first forward,then backwards then side to side then suddenly spin around quickly,then you think "omg Valves finally solved the stuttering!
318) Over the last week you have been playing hl2 just before you wake up,you hear "Wake up and smell the ashes"then you snap awake,wondering why you fell like you have been asleep for 6 years!!
319)When ever you feel something exciting is going to happen,you hear hl2 songs start blearing in your head.
320) When someone asks you for help,you tell them "Update your drivers".
321) Someone tells you to clean up your mess and you say "Thats not mess their "artifacts"
322) a person you know has a headache and you advice is "Just adjust your refresh rate".
323) At haloween you set fire to any kid that remotely resembles a headcrab zombie!!
324) you have the hl2 hud image permanetly burned on your cornea.
325) Your eyes permanetly display you computer monitor.
326) When someone talks to you you ammediatly relply in a single tone robotic voice "failed to load snd file blah..blah...blah ect.
327)you take control of a crane at a construction site and think to yourself "man I cant believe how interactive the environment is" as you happily pickup and drop matal containers on innocent peoples heads,all the while hearing that hl2 crane song in you head.
328) You deide to jump out of you 2nd story bedroom window "Just to see what would happen" and when you hit the ground your shoked to hear a womans voice out of nowhere say "emergency user death imminent",when you thought all you would get is "major fracture detected".
329) Everyday when you are just going about your daily buisness you keep hearing barneys voice say "Hey Gordon!" but you cant find the source and its starting to drive you insane!
330) You wake up,but everything is totally dark no a sound can be heard you start to panic,and just as your about to freak out a image box pops up in front of you seemingly hovering in mid air the words read "Validating hl2 files",you scream ohhh dear goood noooo! not again!! then you slip back to sleep.
331) you go to you bathroom shortly after waking up,and as you stand in front of your mirror,you just stand there awe struck because you have absoulutly no reflection!.....accept the faint refection of a HEV suit and crowbar.
332)You walk outside and think to yourself "Man god must have one kick as* computer!! he can turn everything wayyyy up and still maintain a high framerate,and not a jagged edge to be seen!!
333)Whenever you see a plank of wood you start violently swiping it with your invisable crowbar!!
334) Whenever you have visitors you greet them by saying "welcome,welcome to my home,its safer here".
335) You find yourself,over a period of time not being able to walk,but luckily you manage to stumble across a workaround for your predicament,you find out that all you do is hold out your left hand,as if about to type on an invisible keyboard ,then extend your right hand,grasping an invisible mouse.
Using your "Keyboard hand" to move and your "mouse hand" to look solves the problem!!,nothing else seems to work,nice going Valve!!
336) Your watching tv with your family with a blank look on your face,without warning you get up,pick up the tv rip the power cord out of the wall then throw it through the window.your family just looks at you mouths gaping,then after a long pause one of them says "why the why the f**k did you do that??"to which you reply in a vague far away voice "I jussst wanted to seee how cooool it would look..."then you slowly turn back around and sit down and continue to starr blankly at the now non existent tv!!
337)When you cant tell the difference from real life and hl2,then you think "ahhh the hell with it,ill just hit someone over the head with a crowbar,better that than run the risk of having health taken off me!
338) You take a knife turn on your toaster and stick the knife into it and while you are getting electrocuted your friend says"what the hell re you doing man!! to which you reply "tttrryying ttttooo chchcharge mmmmmy hhheeevvee sssuit!!!
339) You start talking like the g-man and your family starts to get really concerned about you saying stuff like "Honey why are talking like a retard again,honey your scaring mee!please answer me! and while she is trying to get through to you,you are stuck on a continues loop"time to smell the ashes-time to smell the ashes-time to smell the ashes--over and over again untill theres little choice left but to call "The men in the white coats"and as they are dragging you away you keep screaming "I am the G-man I tell you!!! the G-man!!.
once you get to the hospital a doctor comes up to you and in your dillusion you say "Ahhhh dr.Kleiner good to see you my friend"the doctor ignores you for a moment then in a patronising way says"So now,my friend who are you again??
you relpy "I told you im the gman!!!",to which the docter says "yesss of course you are,..nurse he is going to need 50mg of morphine STAT..
Just as your struggling you start seeing the room become brighter and brighter,untill it is so bright it engulfs you..then you suddenly snap out of it ..and your sitting on a chair..not just any chair,oh no,it is YOUR chair,and as your eyes begin to refocuss you see your monitor gradually fadeing back into view,with half-life 2 written across the screen.
340)When your friend says to you,"OMG!! I can see hl2 movies playing on the surface of your eyes!!
341) Instead of using your front door to get into your room you begin scouring the streets for crates,you start stacking them up to reach your room 2 floors up,just as you are about to enter through the window an old lady(suspecting you of braking in)says in a typical "old lady voice","young man what are you doing",
Unable to talk for "some reason" you begin sribbling on a piece of paper" when your dome you crumple it up a throw it down at the old lady feet.she picks it up uncrumples it and the note simply said "practicing"
342)When you have forgotton most of the english language,accept for phrases found in hl2
343) when your family wonders who this smelly unshaven,hairy man is you keeps eating all their food!!
344)When you could have sworn you just mowed the lawn,but when you look outside its 5 feet high.
345) You gasp when you see a stray dog in your house only to realise that it is in fact you dog,only "somehow" 15lbs thinner!
346) When your so hungry even headcrabs are sounding good to you.
347) When you go swimming you keep looking around expecting flaming barrels to smash you in the head.
348) You go to the furniture store and start picking up book cases and draws,then smashing then onto the managers head when he gets too close to you.
349) When ever you see any sort of valve you have an irrisistable urge to "turn" it.
350) Your banned from going to any warehouse,factory or any other place where there are boxes crates or wood of any kind.
351) When your driving in your car and you have an intense desire to floor it and plough through the traffic cop to see if the "real world" physics are as good as hl2.
352)Your watching some people play football,and one of them asks you to join in and you say"sorry,dont have my disk inserted"
353) Your extremely paranoid when you go to the beach,but you dont know why and when its time to leave,you begin jumping from one persons towel to another,untill safely on the pavement.
354) People begin to get blinded by the reflection of your white skin,due to extreme lack of sun.
355) Natural light blinds you for several minutes,you are now developing a dependency on wearing sun shades,even in the house,quite odd is the fact that you dont have to wear them at all when looking at your monitor.
Upon further "testing"you realise that your brain and eyes are now only compatible with your computer monitors refreshrate,and there the "out side world" is just too much for your eyes to take.
356) You start calling your girlfriend Alyx in bed!!
357) Whenever you see an old man with a beard,you run after him going bizzzzz peooo...bizzzzzz peooo with your imaginary gravity gun!
358) You legaly change your name to Gordon Freeman,and get G-Man licence plates for your car,your hood ornament is the hl2 symbol the color is black cold steel of the citadel,when you honk the horn your hear the Valve intro music play,and on your dashboard you have a g-man bobbing doll and when you push his head down he says various phrases such as "Wake up and smell the ashes"and"time to choose" ect..ect.
359)When someone stutters you say "dont worry,just say that exact same thing again and I bet you wont stutter because the sound file is allready loaded in you brain!"
Icarusintel
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360)when you go outside and get blinded by a reflection you say "damn, they finally put HDR in"
J
jsturge
Guest
voices
I was walking through the mall last night, and a voice came over the intercom asking someone to return to the customer service department...I swear to god, I had a half life flashback right at that exact moment..it sounded for a moment exactly like the combine broadcasts in city 17....hows that for too much half life
I was walking through the mall last night, and a voice came over the intercom asking someone to return to the customer service department...I swear to god, I had a half life flashback right at that exact moment..it sounded for a moment exactly like the combine broadcasts in city 17....hows that for too much half life
The_Great_Walter
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364) when you enter a room, you attempt to push F6 and quicksave, only to realize there is no keyboard there, or you say smething you shouldn't have to someone and attempt to quickload
365)Sometimes, you dream about cheese.
366)...umm....you jack off to lamarr....?...yeah...I don't, though...I'm not implying I do....it's just something you would do if...ya know...you were...addicted and...I don't do that...umm...I gotta go....bye...
365)Sometimes, you dream about cheese.
366)...umm....you jack off to lamarr....?...yeah...I don't, though...I'm not implying I do....it's just something you would do if...ya know...you were...addicted and...I don't do that...umm...I gotta go....bye...
L
LAYP
Guest
367) you desperately try to be funny on a website dedicated to that game with a thread that relates to if you have played it too much.
rumblefish
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368. you start thinking what the sexy new english teacher (female) and alyx would be like in a pr0n movie together.... **drools**
rf
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rumblefish
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389. you have read the 'final hours of halflife2' article on gamespot(i thinkm it was)
rf
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