1001 signs that you've played too much Half Life

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213. You accidentally create a full-blown resonance cascade in Chemistry class when you add too much iodide to the heating solution on the bunsen burner.

214. When someone in a gas mask runs at you, you press 4, click, then left click to kill them with a shotgun. THen you realize you aren't holding a keyboard.

215. You get pissed when you can't lift your radiator enough to throw it.

216. You spend your days thinking up mod ideas for HL2.

217. You have over 10 lambdas and other half life symbols doodled on every page of your notes.

218. Over 20.

219. Over 50.
 
230: You get a hard-on when you find out the next expansion pack/ sequel's release date.

-Alix
 
221. You get a hard on when you think about Half-Life 2.
 
you fail school because you couldnt go back to school untill you beat hl2 on easy medium and hard
 
223: You invade peoples houses and steal their watermelons
224: You get a lambda sign tattoo
225: You make little headcrabs out of blu-tac and stick them in random place in your room... just BECAUSE!
226: You find yourself strafing round corners irl

edit: number were fudged up
 
227: You pause half way down corridoors to wait for the next part of the world to load.
 
Too bad a lot of people on this board can't count (not talking bout you Shippi, this is after you edited :D) because I'd say we're anywhere from 210 to 250. Put a number on your post and learn to count pee-oh-play (people, in case you didn't know...)!
 
kenyo said:
i think that one was siad

Darn, I shall replace it with!: 226: You draw a goatee and glasses on your thumb, and mumble quietly too it at random times throughout the day, while glaring suspiciously at the people around you :D

I believe we are on 227 right now..
 
227: You have plastic surgery to embed a flashlight into your arm.
 
SHIPPI said:
225: You make little headcrabs out of blu-tac and stick them in random place in your room... just BECAUSE!
Hah, Nice! That's horrible. Because I've actually done it. Damn, I need more Blu-tac.
 
228: You just turned in your the first english paper of the semester. And finals start next week.
 
Vesh said:
Hah, Nice! That's horrible. Because I've actually done it. Damn, I need more Blu-tac.

Haha, nice to see I'm not alone with that.. uhh :eek: I mean.. *hides blu-tac heacrabs*

229: You want to be a zombie when you grow up.
 
230) when your friend asks you what the most boring thing ever is you say "waiting for steam to validate hl2"
 
Zeus said:
230) when your friend asks you what the most boring thing ever is you say "waiting for steam to validate hl2"
hahahahahaha
 
231: everytime someone mentions their pet cat, you go...what cat???? and when they dont answer you say it louder...WHAT CAT???

232: you worry about fast zombies jumping off the roof of every building that you pass.

233: You try to build the buggy.

234: you actually succeed at making the buggy.

235: you drive your new buggy everywhere! (i know i would!)

236: You duck-jump over all the counters at work.

237: Everytime you throw a snowball, you either yell fire in the hole, or expect a horde of antlions to attack your friend/enemy.
 
238: you accidently call your girlfriend alyx.

239:you accidently call your grandfather dr.breen.

240: accidently call your sister mossman.

241: you name your pet cat llamar.
 
Audiophile said:
214. When someone in a gas mask runs at you, you press 4, click, then left click to kill them with a shotgun. THen you realize you aren't holding a keyboard.


242) After experiencing 214 a couple time, you bring a keyboard where ever you go...
Just in case.
 
242: you find yourself whistling songs from the hl2 soundtrack.

243:you name your shotgun.. "the SPAZ 12"

244: you buy all the guns from hl2 (except the unrealistic ones)

245: you build the Non-real guns from hl2, in your garage.
 
someone should take all of the err wtf would you call them? ideas? they should take all these and put them in one big list.
 
Ryjalon5k said:
someone should take all of the err wtf would you call them? ideas? they should take all these and put them in one big list.

yeah, i'm planning on extracting all of the best, editing some and fixing the numbers, deleting doubles, deleting doubles.

don't worry, i'll give credit to all who post ideas.

im on it
 
Sorted this mess out

1) You spend all of your spare time trying to design a real gravity gun.
2) Everytime you turn around you see a man in a suit, and you refuse to admit to the therapist that he isn't real.
3) You've gotten a degree from MIT for flipping switches.
4) You make or post in this topic.
5. You join halflife2.net and instantly make twelve thousand "Gravity Gun vs. Revolver" topics
6. You reply to topics like this
7) You knock random real objects over just to look at the 'physics'
8. You spend all your free time either playing Half-Life 2, dreaming about Half-Life 2 comics, or posting in Halflife2.net.
9) You try to paint your house by repeatedly flinging the same paint can at the walls.
10. You get excited in real life because your view doesnt jerk back and forth when something cool happens.
11) When you try and do the levels quickly
12) You have a shrine dedicated to your fictional girlfriend, Alyx.
13) You keep trying to "Use" you're pc and most people.
14) You always go around with a crowbar... Crushing everything you see.
15) Sombody is pissing you off... You treathen to impulse 101 on him...
16) You make a pile of Combine bodies with the blue gravity gun and call it art (like the sculptor who has that entire park

in Oslo, Norway with all the nude sculptures? That obelisk is frightening!)
17) You have constant dreams about Half-Life 2 (Alyx pr0n ones don't count)
18) You've taken over a thousand Half-Life 2 screenshots to date
19) You're on a mod team.
20) You're on two mod teams.
21) You're on three.
22)You carry a knife to work to get there faster
23) You keep running up to women, ogling them and pushing against them.
24) You run forwards at a police officer, stare for a while, then dive backwards in anticipation of a prodding.
25) You thwack people with a crowbar when they block your way in the corridor.
26) When you keep thinking to yourself "the right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world"

whenever you are trying to accomplish somthing you're having trouble with, even when it has nothing to do with being the

right man or in the wrong place.
27) You think about stabbing 'g' and flinging that radiator at your boss.
28) After doing something tricky, you hit F6
29) You swear you just heard a manhack noise in the airconditioning duct behind your head...
30) You swear your HDD just made a manhack noise
31) You're still waiting for Barney to buy you that beer, but you are too quiet to ask.
32) When you see real grates, vents and/or ductwork you wonder what items you can find within them.
33) When a helicopter flies overhead, you instinctively pull out a rocket launcher and try shooting it down.
34) You look for Lamda locacions.
35) You belive NYC is a sucessfull combine invasion of Citadels.
36) you draw the lambda symbol when you are bored in class
37) You draw the Citadel when bored in class.
38) You smash wooden crates with your handy-dandy crowbar.
39) You legally change your name to Gordon Freeman.
40) Have dreams or nightmares about HL2
41) Get anxious or nervous when a chopper flys by.
42) You constantly imagine what you could do if you had a real gravity gun.
43) Whenever you see a puddle, or a flock of birds flying away you think, "wow, looks just like HL2!"
44) You keep trying to explain the theory to your wife or girlfriend but they just don't care.
45) You visualize that the building that you live in could make a good level in Half-Life.
46) You daydream about throwing tables at people you hate.
47) You imagine, when sitting in a classroom, what the room would look like once you have the Manipulator at hand.

Grabbing the desks and chairs with your Manipulator and launching them around the room for fun. Watching the bodies

of the students ragdoll around. Piling all the desks up in a corner and laughing.
48) Check website every 1 min for new info
49) Believe you are weilding a crowbar and you take a whack at a wooden post hoping it will break
50) Admire a lake for the realistic bump mapping
51) Carry any and all objects at the lower right corner of your line of sight
52) Believe that your church would make a pwnage HL2DM map.
53) Consider how the valley you live in would make an well balanced map
54) To talk to people, you walk up really close to them, stare, and try to hit "E"
55) You notice that at the company you work for, in one state the list of clients include Dr Freeman, followed by Dr Gordon,

and you start obsessively wanting to reorganize the client files in reverse order, so it is Gordon, then Freeman
56) you stop talking to other people, even if they make remarks on how quiet u are.
57) you ban all mirrors from your house.
58) Your wake-up alarm sounds just like that "Wake up, wake up and smell the ashes..."
59) You stop looking in the mirror and destroy all pictures of yourself
60) You find a way to make a buzzsaw fly.
61) Complain that the combine need to leave.
62) Draw headcrabs in class. (I do that)
63) Your friends get annoyed by the constant speak of HL2 you say. Especially the countdown until HL2, before it came out.
64) (Said before, but not quite like this You admire real life because it looks so much like HL2!
65) You don't see your reflection in a lake or pool.
66) You use dead flies as pherapods for spiders so you can control where they go.
67) You collect first aid kits just in case you're running low on life.
68) You throw bright yellow kick balls at children in hopes that they'll vaporize.
69) You hit a police officer with a paper cup, laugh at him, then run hoping he'll stop...stop...no, no I'm sorry! Ahhhhhh!!!
70) You admire the angles of real life water reflections, wondering if you should really be seeing everything that you are.
71) You start to see parts of the hl2 environment in reall buildings or terrain, and plays catch with their dog with trash cans
72) You masturbate to Alyx
73) You bitch about the bad physics in real-life
74) You beat cops thinking that they drop USP ammo and some HEV
75) You visit HL2.net and have over 2000 posts
76) You want a Gravity Gun.
77) Hehe, I got 69! (editor's comment: no you didn't)
78) You ordered the 'Gold' Package over Steam.
79) you cant seem to stop saying: half-life 2 rocks!
80) you tell the teacher you have sv_cheats 1 on and your not afraid to spawn some striders.
81)You read war of the worlds and say "damn... those people needed some RPGs."
82) when you want something you imagine attracting it with a gravity gun (probably cuz im lazy )
83) when you see old fashioned radiators you want to rip it off the wall and fire it at the next person you see (i did )
84)Admire how well real life sounds such as pop cans, barrels and echos sound like HL2.
85)Want to buy a gun and shoot birds down.
86)Want a pet headcrab which you will name Lamarr.
87)Want a very large robot which you will name D.O.G..
88) You always look around on the sand when you're at beach.
89) Whenever you see a wood box, you really want to break it.
90) You tell homeless people to watch out for headcrab.
91) You're competely covered in aluminum foil, or metalic paint.
92) Ants start following you around
93) Old people call you the "free man"
94) You're competely covered in aluminum foil, or metalic paint.
95) You work on HL2 mods for 26 hours straight at a stretch (in progress).
96) You've investigated the origins of the combine: http://www.planetunreal.com/specula...ombineBirth.jpg
97) When you walk into a street without looking, not worrying because you think the car will just slide you out of the way

and not damage you.
98) You keep a giant valve in your room for inspiration.
99) You are afraid to go to the beach because AntLions.
100) You've got five minutes to show up down the hall for a meeting, but you haven't even started your production

assessment report! F9/F7!
101) You spot a cop down the street, and you instinctively jam "SHIFT" and dart around the corner.
102) When you hear someone talking on a walkie-talkie, you freak and think its the metrocops/soldiers. You take cover and

try and whip out the MP7/Spas-12/Overwatch Pulse Rifle. Only to notice you don't have one...
103) when you throw a grenade at a pile of boxes and expect it to lag a little
104) when you see things fall down and say to yourself "source could do that"
105) Whenever you hear a cops radio, you think 'Oh no Combine!'
106) When you see a girraffe you shout 'STRRRRIIIIIIDDDDEEEEER!!!'
107) You make an avatar with a combine wearing a santa claus hat
108) You dont drink any water
109) You walk into other peoples apartments
110) You draw crowbars from all different perspectives at school
111) You get a real crowbar from the shed, hold it so you can only see the top half, and then start swinging it madly.
112) Your sexy 10th grade math teacher drops her pencil and as she bends over to get it, you think... phys_timescale 0...
113) You get nervous and shoot all three of your own dogs because they looked like headcrabs and they snuck up on you.
114) You throw bottles at strangers in the street just to see how many different versions of "no more" they can come up

with.
115) You don't talk. Ever.
116) You run up to people and stare at them until they say something. If they don't, you hit them on the head with a

briefcase.
117) You examine trash cans to see if there are any people hiding in them! (Sound familiar?)
118) You carry around binoculars vigorously looking down roads and in windows--everywhere you can--in hopes of seeing a

strange man in a suit with a briefcase.
119) When you fall off a cliff or jump off a building (because that happens everyday, you know) you sustain a sprained ankle

and land perfectly on your feet.
120) when someone breaks into your house while your in your bathroom, and you wonder why this map wont let you pick

up the toilet.
121) You stop your car in the middle of the road with all green lights to wait for the "map" to load.
122) You call your pet dog 'robot'
123) You wonder how this world can run with a constant and smooth framerate of 25fps with such a high polycount,

dynamic softshadowing, bumpmaps, foliage simulation, reflections and refractions etc. ... (sad, I know)
124) Everytime you see your hand or other body part you say 'whoa, didn't know I actually have those!!'
125) You wonder how is it possible to have two different TV channels on two TV sets ('cuz source can't do that)
126) You try to recharge your HEV at the cash point
127) every time you drink alcohol (a lot) you think 'weeee... this server is laggy... '
128) when a studderer comes up to you and starts to talk and you complain about the studdering sound problem.
129) ...?
130) and this really scares me...When I look at a tire, or something that might be bumpmapped ingame, my brain tells me

that its really flat and that the depth I see is fake. I really notice it when im behind a jeep and its spare tire is sitting there

and Im like WTF! ITS FLAT! NOOOOOOOOO!
131) You strafe around your house
132) you cant jump very high, and each time you jump, its the same height
133) yell striiiiiddeerrr whenever you see fat kids
134) complain about how many things were left out from the original preview of life
135) You play HL2 DM so regularly, you have your own handicap.
136) You put little things into bright lights and hope they come out at the other light.
137) You keep threatening people not to stand in a doorway to long.
138) You name your snake "Hydra"
139) When your walking down a dark halfway you try and press "F" and pull out the manipulator, looking around for a

sawblade.
140) You try and drag the test answers from the teachers desk with a manipulator.
141) You always have a crowbar in your pocket.
142) You tend to wonder what fps your life is.
143) You walk into people's apartments without saying a word, and rip their tv out of the wall, throw it through the window

to get a better view of the combine patrol, then proceed to move their furniture to block doorways.
144) You paint people's walls or just random objects by throwing a paint bucket at it.
145) You go around in the real world looking at stuff and thinking about designing them for half-life 2.
146) Whenever you see water you say: Wow, that nearly looks as real as the water in half-life 2!
147) You modify Alyxs animations so she do strip tease.
148) When youre going to work you start shooting at all the police men, choppers and soldiers you see on the way.
149) On work you start killing everybody because you think they look like zombies.
150) Youre visiting your friend and he has a little bunny rabbit that you imediatly finish off with the crowbar.
151) Run around screaming: Great scott!
152) When the mailman comes with the bills you pick up stuff and throw at him untill he's dead.
153) If you have a speedboat you try to use it on land.
154) u wake up in a train, not knowing whrere u've been before.
155) If you've actually been scared walking alone at night, thinking a fast zombie is going to jump out of nowhere and

attack you. (yes, it has happened)
156) You scream "headshot!" whenever we make a swish in bball, get a chicks phone number, etc.
157) You plan to destroy the Liverpool RC Cathedral only because it reminds you of the citadel
158) dressing up like the Gman when goin to work, and scare the shit out of customers when talking to them
159) Everytime you try to find a parked car you ge the urge to shoot it with the manipulator...
160) You wonder what version of DX the real world uses.
161) you try to insert a grenade up your ass to see how high you fly
162) I my way to work this morning I kept flicking the wiper delay switch hoping the turbo would kick in.
163) You stand in the middle of the square with a big big log, slamming it in the ground shouting; "I have to keep the

antlions away!
164) You have no mirrors in your house, so the immersion ain't destroyed.
165) You beat the crap out of any security guard at the local bank shouting; "Where's that beer you bastard!"
166) u attack ur girlfriend with a crowbar becuz she has crabs
167) everytime your wife asks you why you rest after an orgasm, you tell her it's the loading screen and it takes a while...
168) When you walk around the mall you find yourself saying outloud "Welcome, to city 17"
169) when you give answers to this thread and then realise you've done that
170) u don't leave the house because u can't find your HEV suit
171) you look at the ocean and say "wow, look at those graphics"
172) You see G-man in your dreams
173) you giggle when you see a person called Lamar :/
174) You get nervous when you see ventilation shafts
175) You grin uncontrollably when you see a crowbar
 
Sorted... cont'd.

176) Looking at the sea makes you want to go play HL2
177) You start throwing cans at people heads to see their reaction, irl.
178) everytime your science experiment screws up at the science fair, you go "lemarr ..LAMARR!!"
179)you watch the bill cosby show just because he looks like Eli.
180) you name your daughter alyx when she looks like a baboon's ass and you are white.
181) You make your own HEV suit.............out of paper.
182) You watch the "barny the purple dinosaur" on the kiddie channel till you're 81 years old just beacause he has the same

name as barny in hl2.
183) You watch sean connery's movies juz bcuz he looks like dr.breen.
184) You no longer enter rooms through the door and instead by the airlocks.
185) You are determined to find your dream girl that looks like alyx and display your 1337 courting skills in front of her.
186) you install wings on cameras...making them look like "scanners" and release them into your neighbour's bathroom.
187) You wear cheesy looking hats that look like crabs and splash red paint on your body and go " ARRRR ARRRR ARRR"

just like those burning zombies you see in the game
188) whenever the term half-life comes up in physics class you put a lamda in your notes and get this smirk on your face
189) When the teacher asks your class if you're ready for the big physics test you answer: "Conditions could hardly be more

ideal..."
190) lol mikren, i could imagine it in biology class when im boiling leaves so i can test them for starch
"Ahh conditions couldnt be more perfect, lets put the anti massspectromoter, i mean gas burner, up too fifty percent, kris if

you could just climb up there and apply the iodine"
(to myself) "Are you sure this is right, this has to be the purest sample of spider plant i have seen so far"
"What could go wrong, kris is a trained professional"
"Thats what you said last time!"
191) you get binoculars just to see if far away things are badly textured.
192) When you play HL² after youve finished it for 1 million times like you nerds have
193) You look down and wonder "Where the hell are my legs?"
194) When you are sitting in the toilet and you see that there is no paper, you try to f9.
195) You punch holes in your walls at home because you know they'll just disappear after a while.
196) You do stupid stuff because you know you can just left click and you'll be reincarnated all over again.
197) You mount a rifle to your go-cart and drive on the beach blasting swimmers out of the water.
198) You join the military and win every war single handedly by standing behind a door entrance and blasting every guy as

they come in one by one, to the exact same location.
199) You stop speaking, for ever. You don't even SAY ouch when you get hurt...
200) you change your name to gordon freeman
201) you get your girlfriend to change her name to alyx
202) you start wearing glasses
203) you start getting A in science class
204) you think your x-mas turkey looks like a headcrab and u beat it with a crowbar!!!!
205) You try to climb a ladder with no hands
206) you smile in your ancient greek class (damn greek!!!!) whenever you see the lambda symbol
207) After you finally get off the computer, you are 2 years older with a big beard and long hair. Your girlfriend has

married another guy and your dog is dead.
208) When you go to the beach, you lay all sorts of objects on the sand, like wood and metal plates, because you are afraid

you wake up the antlions in the sand
209) When you have at least 35 HL2 sites in favorites (this aplies to me )
210) You try to invent an airboat that doesn't tip
211) You ask to see their collection of Headcrabs at the Pet Store.
212) You barge into people's homes and start throwing their stuff out of the window because you can.
213) You attempt to noclip when you want to see what people on the tv look like close up.
214) You go out and shoot people for no good reason..soz that one's for mortal kombat
215) yor are late for work and your are trying to get the bus by bunnyhopping
216) You are faking your friend as Barney and having a beer with him down the pub
217) You always make it a first priority to find out who is providing the materials you're testing for chem class
218) You dress your chiwawa up as a headcrab and call him Lamaar.
219) You teach your chiwawa named Lamaar to couple with yourhead when you pat it.
220) You accidentally create a full-blown resonance cascade in Chemistry class when you add too much iodide to the

heating solution on the bunsen burner.
221) When someone in a gas mask runs at you, you press 4, click, then left click to kill them with a shotgun. THen you

realize you aren't holding a keyboard.
222) You get pissed when you can't lift your radiator enough to throw it.
223) You spend your days thinking up mod ideas for HL2.
224) You have over 10 lambdas and other half life symbols doodled on every page of your notes.
225) Over 20.
226) Over 50.
227) You get a hard-on when you find out the next expansion pack/ sequel's release date.
228) You get a hard on when you think about Half-Life 2.
229) you fail school because you couldnt go back to school untill you beat hl2 on easy medium and hard
230) You invade peoples houses and steal their watermelons
231) You get a lambda sign tattoo
232) You make little headcrabs out of blu-tac and stick them in random place in your room... just BECAUSE!
233) You find yourself strafing round corners irl
234) You pause half way down corridoors to wait for the next part of the world to load.
235) You draw a goatee and glasses on your thumb, and mumble quietly too it at random times throughout the day, while

glaring suspiciously at the people around you
236) You have plastic surgery to embed a flashlight into your arm.
237) You just turned in your the first english paper of the semester. And finals start next week.
238) You want to be a zombie when you grow up.
239) when your friend asks you what the most boring thing ever is you say "waiting for steam to validate hl2"
240) everytime someone mentions their pet cat, you go...what cat???? and when they dont answer you say it

louder...WHAT CAT???
241) you worry about fast zombies jumping off the roof of every building that you pass.
242) You try to build the buggy.
243) you actually succeed at making the buggy.
244) you drive your new buggy everywhere! (i know i would!)
245) You duck-jump over all the counters at work.
246) Everytime you throw a snowball, you either yell fire in the hole, or expect a horde of antlions to attack your

friend/enemy.
247) you accidently call your girlfriend alyx.
248) you accidently call your grandfather dr.breen.
249) accidently call your sister mossman.
250) you name your pet cat llamar.
251) After experiencing 221* a couple time, you bring a keyboard where ever you go... Just in case.
252) you find yourself whistling songs from the hl2 soundtrack.
253) you name your shotgun.. "the SPAZ 12"
254) you buy all the guns from hl2 (except the unrealistic ones)
255) you build the Non-real guns from hl2, in your garage.
256) You buy all of the HL2: especially the unrealistic ones!
257) you draw the hud on your glasses.
258) And make it so it shows you ur health
259) You actually take the time to sort out a list like this.

Surprisingly, at one point the errors cancelled eachother out, and the numbers were right for a while. But then they got off
again.

So, we are now officially on number 260!! Start from there.
 
Dude, I wish I had that much time :(

nice.

edit: #260. You love Half-Life 2 enough to make a list of 1001 reasons you've been playing it too much.
#261. You have over 500 posts on halflife2.net
#262. ...a month.
 
#263 when you go bowling you complain abouting having to lift the ball and throw it by hand. (actually a gravity gun would make most sports eaiser)

#264 When a girl is talking to you throw metal objects at her face, then put your face an inch away from her brests. Then you wonder why she reacts

on a side note, me and some friends spent a good hour trying to duck-jump over rocks. its hard to do and you often fall foward but its really cool if you can get it to work
 
169 You pretend the shifter in your car controls the turret, and destroy the transmission.
 
266) When you hear yourself talk, you say "OMG the immersion is ruined!" and go complain on hl2.net about how hl2 sucks.
 
# When you speak to people, you can only ask you to follow or stop following you

# Without speaking

# As you're walking down the road, buildings spring up in the distance

# Your photo album consists of bodies falling in funny ways

# It takes you two hours to 'load' first thing in the morning

# Despite never speaking, women find you insanley attractive

# You can't run unless you put on a HEV suit

# You can get dressed in less than a second

Sorry if any are repeats
 
bliink said:
7) You knock random real objects over just to look at the 'physics'


...I've...done...that.

267.) You pick a crowbar over a pistol
268.) You jack off to Alyx
269.) You put your cat in the oven and call it a transporter
 
267. When you see a crowbar you automatically (and i mean straight away) think of Half-Life
 
268. you wonder why your teachers aren't wearing their gas masks
269. You pretend you life if just one big level of half life
 
273. You bitch about how long it took god to make real-life, nad make regular fat jokes about him.
 
lukrebu said:
271) You're really good at Half Life.


what about

274) Your really good at Half Life 2: Death Match! Much more talent involved there!
 
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