Gonna go to Valve tomorrow (for real)

Kamakiri · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by Kyle2
hey, you could pay for a ticket to fly me out there tonight and i could go with you.

Yeah i thought the same thing Kyle2. I would do all the talking dood.

Sunbeam · Sep 17, 2003

Yeah nice. Just add at the very bottom..."P.S. Is HL2 still on scedule for Sept. 30 2003?"

lol.

infin|ty · Sep 17, 2003

Or you could say "What ho, shut yo mouf before I shove my beast cock in it...get the chubster and his greasy geek friends out here now, I have a big book of questions, and if I don't get them answered in the next 21 minutes, I'm going to unlesh a rage and fury never before seen upon this Earth. Please?"

spitcodfry · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by Sunbeam
Yeah nice. Just add at the very bottom..."P.S. Is HL2 still on scedule for Sept. 30 2003?"

lol.

I already e-mailed him about that earlier

Kamakiri · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by spitcodfry
On second thought, maybe I shouldn't...he'll see what kind of raving lunatics we all are by reading this thread

Ok dood I reckon just turn up. Seriously. And take my advice. I think.

Don't be threatened by the multi-millionaire people in there. They are gamers like us.

Scared yet?

GJaaGular · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by spitcodfry
Here's an e-mail I'm contemplating sending him...tell me what you think and give suggestions...I don't wanna screw this opportunity up:

Dear Gabe,
on behalf of the HL2.net community, I would like to extend the thanks of thousands of fans by treating your team to food and drinks. If you think I'm just making this up to get a sneak peek at the game, then please go here: http://halflife2.homelan.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7753&perpage=15&pagenumber=1 and read through the barrage of gushing responses by your countless fans. If this is a possibility, please let me know a good time that I can come in and drop it off. Thank you for your time. Sincerely,
Andrew Lovvorn

Are you prepared to drop the $150 to feed 40 people?

Kyle2 · Sep 17, 2003

go in there with some hot chick, they'd never turn you down

spitcodfry · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by GJaaGular
Are you prepared to drop the $150 to feed 40 people?

No not really...what should I say in place of that? Tour? Cake?

Kamakiri · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by GJaaGular
Are you prepared to drop the $150 to feed 40 people?

To be honest I really think Valve wouldn't expect that from you or the community. I think just turn up empty handed and act keep and polite blah blah

spitcodfry · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by Kamakiri
To be honest I really think Valve wouldn't expect that from you or the community. I think just turn up empty handed and act keep and polite blah blah

Yeah I think this is what I'll ultimately do...nix the e-mail...although they might get pissed if I just show up...damn I'm confused

GJaaGular · Sep 17, 2003

Hey what is Gabes email by the way...i missed it

spitcodfry · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by GJaaGular
Hey what is Gabes email by the way...i missed it

[email protected]

infin|ty · Sep 17, 2003

You know, you could just get to the Valve offices at like 4:30 in the morning. Wait there for Gabe to show up, then stop him on the way in and tell him your name, ask him if he has any time sometime during the day when you could stop by later on and possibly ask him a few questions etc. He might freak out and hit the panic button on the keys to his Porsche, but maybe not.

xxxedgexxx · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by GJaaGular
Are you prepared to drop the $150 to feed 40 people?

true true

i say you email him not about pizza and drinks, email him about what was mentioned before pizza, a tour, a hand shake, pictures of the facilities, that sort of thing. treat it like your an independant press source that is just looking for a tour of facilities. that you understand if the high ups are too busy, a lacky or assistant could take you around

and if you get an assistant, play mind games, milk them man, and if necisary, your field phone can also be used as a persuasive entity. just take the two wires attach them to their balls and crank the phone up. and if all you have is a cell phone, turn it on and strap it to their head, cancer man, cancer.

spitcodfry · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by infin|ty
You know, you could just get to the Valve offices at like 4:30 in the morning. Wait there for Gabe to show up, then stop him on the way in and tell him your name, ask him if he has any time sometime during the day when you could stop by later on and possibly ask him a few questions etc. He might freak out and hit the panic button on the keys to his Porsche, but maybe not.

LOL...mashing the panic button like crazy "Get back! Back I say!"

Kamakiri · Sep 17, 2003

spitcodfry:

Dood all of this is worth a try. It may work it may not. Bud just turn up and be polite, nice and say who you represent.

All you can do is try. If Valve are too hard and no way you can talk to someone it's understandable. There security around hl2 is very high as you know. But they might be so close to Gold date they will just tell you that and you can announce it tomorrow.

But just go there and see what you can do.

Kyle2 · Sep 17, 2003

how about this, stfu, goto sleep, wake up, go in there, ask for tour. simple enough?

Kamakiri · Sep 17, 2003

Yeah keep all of this simple. Kyle2 is right. Get to bed go down there. Just relax and see what you can do.

EDIT: If i was you the adreline would be pumping tomorrow.

spitcodfry · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by Kamakiri
Yeah keep all of this simple. Kyle2 is right. Get to bed go down there. Just relax and see what you can do.

I think that's what I'll do...thanks guys

EDIT: I'm signing off for now, dudes. Heres to my trip to Valve Software tomorrow, and hopefully some news tidbits :cheers:

infin|ty · Sep 17, 2003

I know of only one sure thing:

Go in and pretend to be Gabe's son's best friend, and say his son just got in a car crash with you, he's okay but he needs to talk with him.

That's the sure thing.

The non-sure thing:

Come in dressed like a giant kiwi, tell everyone to get down before you unleash your seeds upon them. That might work.

GJaaGular · Sep 17, 2003

uh oh I just remembered something at our offices we had to have our security passes just to get the elevator to work...

xxxedgexxx · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by GJaaGular
uh oh I just remembered something at our offices we had to have our security passes just to get the elevator to work...

do you really think valve is that anal?

GJaaGular · Sep 17, 2003

Lets all email Gabe an say we're sending a hitman down to the offices tomorrow. Give us the prrresciousssss

xxxedgexxx · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by GJaaGular
Lets all email Gabe an say we're sending a hitman down to the offices tomorrow. Give us the prrresciousssss

gabe "they wants to hurts us, they wants to steal our precious.....no theys our friend master wont hurts us.....stupid they are bads they only wants our precious"

Tork · Sep 17, 2003

good luck man!!

SupaKoopa · Sep 17, 2003

good luck! i'll tune in 3pm pst tomorrow to find out the results

Psyco_ · Sep 17, 2003

Hey guys. Exciting thread

What time is it now PST?

oldi1knoby · Sep 17, 2003

Good lick.

Insert · Sep 17, 2003

Just say you are like the biggest fan out there and went all the way from europe or somethng, then ask for an interwiew.

KiNG · Sep 17, 2003

lol i just had a funny idea...

give them the pizza and write on the bottom of the box(below the pizza)

"want the antidote? gimme stuff and things i want."

they'll be like wtf....antidote? oh shit, OH SHIT. GIVE THE GUY WUT HE WANTS....

then give em a sugar pill or apple juice after u get info/game

heh, its late, these ideas are comming straight from my toes...they tlak to me u know..

PST its almost 12:30 AM

oldi1knoby · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by KiNG
lol i just had a funny idea...

give them the pizza and write on the bottom of the box(below the pizza)

"want the antidote? gimme stuff and things i want."

they'll be like wtf....antidote? oh shit, OH SHIT. GIVE THE GUY WUT HE WANTS....

then give em a sugar pill or apple juice after u get info/game

heh, its late, these ideas are comming straight from my toes...they tlak to me u know..

PST its almost 12:30 AM

Or he could try and NOT get arrested.

KiNG · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by oldi1knoby
Or he could try and NOT get arrested.

lol just add "ps. no copers or the dog gets it!"

they'll be like wtf what dog. poor dog, lets just be cool and not call the cops.or better yet lets trick him. save a slicve of pizza for him and shoot the dog in the leg, shoot the hostage then he'll run out into the garage and pretend to blow himself up. it'll all end on a bus. then gabe will be like shut up erik lets do it my way. ill use my super human powers to find hte antidote and shoot the dog in the leg. then we'll release hl2 tomorrow and let KiNG sleep.

im wondering why i wrote all that. anywho read it and see if it makes sence and sence.rawr rawr!!!

EDIT:damn it..wont let me delete...

chemicalagent · Sep 17, 2003

King, that was very nice

[[LuCkY]] · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by spitcodfry
I think that's what I'll do...thanks guys

EDIT: I'm signing off for now, dudes. Heres to my trip to Valve Software tomorrow, and hopefully some news tidbits :cheers:

I am a few hours away (in BC, Canada) and if you wish to do this another day, couple days from now, I will drive down and join you.

If not, and you actually do this. Phone in advance and ask if there are any rep's available sometime during the day to do a quick interview/tour. If not I'd give up, simply because as stated before you won't get past the secretary.. Unless you want to do the freaky fan thing and go to the office and take a picture....

Sunbeam · Sep 17, 2003

Originally posted by spitcodfry
I already e-mailed him about that earlier

Anyway if your plan doesnt work, i order u to attempt this Mission Impossible for the IMF (Impatient Mother ****ers) Team.

Location :
Valve Headquarters, U.S.A.

Time :
3.30AM EST.

Primary Objective :
Infiltrate Gabe Newell's personal High Security Server, and acquire the Release List.

The Mission:
Your mission, should u choose to accept it, will be to infiltrate the Valve commerical office and aquire an item of great importance to the world. At the time mentioned above, u will gain access to the south sector perimeter fence (use tools outlined below). Be cautious of the various guard patrols inside and outside the perimeter. Expect them to be fully armed with M4's and 1 Half-Life approved crowbar. When at the fence, bypass and disengage the electrical conduits there with the crowbar. Once done, gain access to the ventilation system. Use this to crawl your way through the various floors and rooms until u reach your primary location. Remember to use your prior experince negotiating Half-life's ventilation/tunnel systems to aid u. Now for the tricky part. Gabes room will fully equiped with state-of-the-art anti-intrusion systems. Use your laser deflector to neutrailize the beams at the vent's grate. Then use your pulley system to lower yourself to Gabe's server console. Its the one with the chips and empty coke bottles scattered round. Also take note of your body temperature and do not touch the floors, they are pressure sensitive. Since its night-time and your wearing light armor, u should be fine with temperature. Be very silent though, use your CS sneaking skills to keep yout noise level down, and access the server using the Hack Tool. Once u have acquired the Release Date List, get out of there. Its essential that the release list contains the HL2 release date, otherwise this mission is meaningless. Good Luck!

Your Equipment:
Counterstrike camo-black light kevlar body suit
Crowbar, with red electrical conductivity shielding (HL approved)
Night vision goggles
L33t Hax0r (TM) server hack tool
Knife (CS approved)
Laser Deflection System
Self-sustaining rope/pulley system

Background Information:
Good work with your earlier scouting mission. That party u witnessed was in fact a Microsoft team as suspected. Its possible that they secured a exclusive Xbox deal with Vivendi. If this is the case, the Release List may have been recently modified with an Xbox release date as well. If this is the case, then there should be some powerful Microsoft encryption protecting the Release List. Get it to us, our Linux machines will have no trouble decrypting the data. Lets hope for the sake of the world, that the PC version has not been tampered with or sheleved because of that evil corporation.

FriScho · Sep 17, 2003

wear a black suit, walk straight to the desk. If she asks "sir, what can I do for you?" answer "My name is Codfry, Spit Codfry. I'm on a secret mission and you, Miss Moneypennylookalike sweetheart, are they key to this mission. I hope you want to save your country and help me."

ferd · Sep 17, 2003

just tell them you are a fan...and you just would like to talk to them

Coolpot · Sep 17, 2003

heh

dress up as the G-Man, and say you wish to speak to gaben, and when the receptionist asks who you are, say "the G-Man wishes to speak to him"

Psyco_ · Sep 17, 2003

Be sure to look out for the following guards as they've been specially trained to aprehend any suspecious persons discovered within the perimeter:

:afro:
Name: Alfonso
Gender: Male
Scars and Marks: Alfonso has a scar on his chest under his left arm and a tattoo of the his boyfriends name "James" on his shoulder blade.
BG info: Recruited from SOCOM in 2001. This heigly trained guard has previously assisted in maintaining secrecy about the TF2 project. Consider this foe ARMED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

:bounce:
Name: Bounce alias Boogie alias John Carmack
Gender: Male?
Scars and Marks: Bounce has a tatoo of his former company name "ID Software" across his chest.
BG info: Recently recruited from ID Software this guard is known for his prior experience with building fortresses and bases in games such as Quake and Doom. He has now devoted himself fully to the Half-Life 2 project after being fired from ID Software for GUI (Gaming Under Influence). Consider this foe ARMED WITH MOUSE AND C++ EXPERIENCE.

Again: Good luck to you in this mission. You'll need it.

HQ Out

Punzz · Sep 17, 2003

Get gabe's autograph... i bet he's eating a donut when he sees him

Gonna go to Valve tomorrow (for real)

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