I have social problems (with girls). Is this normal or do I need professional help?
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bam23
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Listen to yourself talk, you're too pessimistic and just not fun to listen to (not to mention in perfect english).
We don't know about all the shit you went through but you're letting that act as a barrier and you seem to bring that up everytime we say something.
Talk to your friends, laugh. Laughing makes you feel better.
We don't know about all the shit you went through but you're letting that act as a barrier and you seem to bring that up everytime we say something.
Talk to your friends, laugh. Laughing makes you feel better.
OCybrManO
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I just recently noticed that you've been complaining about people telling you the same things for 11 pages... but when you can put a name to your "disorder" you become interested... even though the solution remains the same. I'm tired of sugar-coating everything. People try to make excuses by diagnosing themselves with some sort of mental disorder so that they can blame some abstract idea rather than their own actions. Then, they look for pills that do it for them... because results have to be instant and lack any amount of effort. I see people like that all the time.
Parents blaming video games for making their young children violent... even though they used to be abused, live in neighborhoods with gang shootings, or do drugs? The USA acting surprised and blaming the evil religion of the enemy when someone finally hits back after being treated like crap for years? Peter Griffin going in the women's bathroom, opening all the stalls, and blaming it on being retarded? They're all the same situation. No one likes to blame themselves. Why? If it wasn't your fault you won't have to feel guilty about the consequences.
I don't respect people like that. You are a textbook example of something. It's called a "lazy bastard." You know what? This is your fault. No one can change you... except you. The sooner you realize that the better. Get off your ass. Stop making ****ing excuses and do something! Take responsibility for your actions... and not a half-assed responsibility, like this:
I'm going to repeat that.
One of the consequences of acting like an idiot is having people think you're an idiot.
Also, acting like a jerk makes people think you're a jerk... and acting retarded makes people think you're retarded. Do you see how that works?
People can't read your thoughts. All they have to go on is what they see and hear from you... and from what I keep hearing over and over, you make me sick. Don't bother saying anything else to me. I won't be listening. I'm not opening this thread again. It's always the same shit over and over again.
Parents blaming video games for making their young children violent... even though they used to be abused, live in neighborhoods with gang shootings, or do drugs? The USA acting surprised and blaming the evil religion of the enemy when someone finally hits back after being treated like crap for years? Peter Griffin going in the women's bathroom, opening all the stalls, and blaming it on being retarded? They're all the same situation. No one likes to blame themselves. Why? If it wasn't your fault you won't have to feel guilty about the consequences.
I don't respect people like that. You are a textbook example of something. It's called a "lazy bastard." You know what? This is your fault. No one can change you... except you. The sooner you realize that the better. Get off your ass. Stop making ****ing excuses and do something! Take responsibility for your actions... and not a half-assed responsibility, like this:
One of the consequences of acting like an idiot is having people think you're an idiot.
I'm going to repeat that.
One of the consequences of acting like an idiot is having people think you're an idiot.
Also, acting like a jerk makes people think you're a jerk... and acting retarded makes people think you're retarded. Do you see how that works?
People can't read your thoughts. All they have to go on is what they see and hear from you... and from what I keep hearing over and over, you make me sick. Don't bother saying anything else to me. I won't be listening. I'm not opening this thread again. It's always the same shit over and over again.
tinyxipe
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Although rather blunt, OCybrManO is right. Things will never get better for you until you decide to change. It's not easy. It will mean a lot of hard work, but in the end, think how much better life will be. Is it really worth it to feel the way you do right now? Maybe it is. Or would the possiblity of a happier life be worth the risk and introspection you would need to go through?OCybrManO said:
You need to sit down and really examine how you feel about your current situation. It's been said by quite a few people already but that's what the whole thing boils down to. You have to make the decision to change and until you are ready to do so, complaining about it will get you nowhere.
kngHenry
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I know OCybrManO is not going to open this thread again, but I am going to answer his comments anyway.
Wrong, I was diagnosed with "learned helplessness" by a person who is presumably experienced in psychology. I did not self-dianose myself with this illness.
How is it my fault that I have this problem? There is an innate problem here, real or imagined, and it needs to be addressed.
So I am a lazy bastard because I never quite understood how the female brain works. It's also my fault that women never gave me a chance to get to know them a bit better. Blame women, not me.
That's a very keen observation about something taken out of context. This is what I said: "I care when people think I am an idiot because I act like an idiot, like when I fail miserably to seduce a woman". Can you see the difference? People (ie: you) think I am an idiot because I cannot seduce a woman. It must be my fault that I was not born with the looks of Brad Pitt or the wit of a stand up comedian.
I have learned a thing or two about life ever since I made this change in my life. First, if you don't talk to people, they won't make fun of you. People always made fun of me, in elementary school, high school, even college, but then it occurred to me that if I kept my mouth shut people wouldn't make fun of me, and it worked. I have no regrets about this, my regret is that PEOPLE forced me to be this way.
OCybrManO said:
Wrong, I was diagnosed with "learned helplessness" by a person who is presumably experienced in psychology. I did not self-dianose myself with this illness.
How is it my fault that I have this problem? There is an innate problem here, real or imagined, and it needs to be addressed.
So I am a lazy bastard because I never quite understood how the female brain works. It's also my fault that women never gave me a chance to get to know them a bit better. Blame women, not me.
That's a very keen observation about something taken out of context. This is what I said: "I care when people think I am an idiot because I act like an idiot, like when I fail miserably to seduce a woman". Can you see the difference? People (ie: you) think I am an idiot because I cannot seduce a woman. It must be my fault that I was not born with the looks of Brad Pitt or the wit of a stand up comedian.
I have learned a thing or two about life ever since I made this change in my life. First, if you don't talk to people, they won't make fun of you. People always made fun of me, in elementary school, high school, even college, but then it occurred to me that if I kept my mouth shut people wouldn't make fun of me, and it worked. I have no regrets about this, my regret is that PEOPLE forced me to be this way.
bam23
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They probably didn't let you get to know them better because you in your current state aren't what they're looking for.
If people make fun of you, shake it off. There is not a person in this world that isn't made fun of at least once in their life. But they don't let it get to them so much that they shut themselves out completely.
If people make fun of you, shake it off. There is not a person in this world that isn't made fun of at least once in their life. But they don't let it get to them so much that they shut themselves out completely.
baxter
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I'm sorry could you expand on this clinically diagnosed disorder?
Far be it for me to comment but I have a great deal of experience in these fields. I won’t bore but my son has a diagnosed learning disorder, hence the reason for my knowledge.
What exactly is "learned helplessness"?
TheUnkillableDot
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Step 1: Get off video game forums...
That is all.
That is all.
baxter
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kngHenry said:
Diagnosed by a group of theorists? After intensive monitoring by various specialists?
Let me ask you this, is it called aspersers, or maybe dyslexia, or even autism?
Just curious as to which part of this spectrum you fall under. You do know about the learning disorder spectrum don't you?
kngHenry
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baxter said:
Asperger's is basically autism for smart people, but I ain't that smart (obviously not a genius), so probably not. I am not dyslexic but I ain't hyperlexic either... I don't know about that spectrum, but someone (ie: an idiotic woman) once suggested I had ADD. yeah right.
baxter
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Ok pal forgive my jumpy posting but as you can imagine I get kind of twitchy when people claiming that they are diagnosed with this disorder and that disorder.
My son as aspersers and I hope it isn't autism for smart people.
The learning disorder spectrum by the way is the entire autistic spectrum whereby individuals are diagnosed on their degree of autism, well that’s how it works in the UK
My son as aspersers and I hope it isn't autism for smart people.
The learning disorder spectrum by the way is the entire autistic spectrum whereby individuals are diagnosed on their degree of autism, well that’s how it works in the UK
tinyxipe
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Whoa! Hold on just a second.
Learned helplessness is not a diagnosis and I am not qualified to be diagnosing anyone. I have a general interest in psychology and nothing more that that.
Learned helplessness is simply a psychological term for a coping (or really, a lack of) strategy. A classic example is a rat placed in a Skinner box. A signal will sound and then the rat recieves a shock. Of course it jumps around and tries to avoid the shock. As this repeats, eventually the rat starts to believe that the shock is inevitable and will simply stop trying to avoid it. True learned helplessness is evident when the rat is offered a place to get away from the shock and it won't even bother. It has learned to be helpless against the shocks.
This really is not the place to be looking for help. I imagine a professional could help you with a real diagnosis, but as far as I know there are no psychologists or therapists on this site.
Learned helplessness is not a diagnosis and I am not qualified to be diagnosing anyone. I have a general interest in psychology and nothing more that that.
Learned helplessness is simply a psychological term for a coping (or really, a lack of) strategy. A classic example is a rat placed in a Skinner box. A signal will sound and then the rat recieves a shock. Of course it jumps around and tries to avoid the shock. As this repeats, eventually the rat starts to believe that the shock is inevitable and will simply stop trying to avoid it. True learned helplessness is evident when the rat is offered a place to get away from the shock and it won't even bother. It has learned to be helpless against the shocks.
This really is not the place to be looking for help. I imagine a professional could help you with a real diagnosis, but as far as I know there are no psychologists or therapists on this site.
kngHenry
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15357 said:
Attention Deficit Disorder -- hyperactivity in children: a condition, occurring mainly in children, characterized by hyperactivity, inability to concentrate, and impulsive or inappropriate behavior
So I am a lazy bastard (as someone pointed out) and hyperactive at the same time.
I can't concentrate and yet I spent a good 12 hours reading this thread.
I am not impulsive. If I was, I probably would not hesitate in talking to women and making new friends.
Inappropriate behavior. I cannot even give you that one because "inappropriate behavior" is a subjective concept. What you call inappropriate might not be what someone else calls inappropriate.
RakuraiTenjin
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Then why don't you make it NOT a big deal.kngHenry said:
This Friday, go somewhere. No, no excuses. Go somewhere. Do you have any friends who are headed out to a party or event? Ask them? If not head to a bar or club. GO SOMEWHERE.
And ethnic group/foreigner isn't exactly a thing that's going to detract from your chances, it can be used to your advantage.
RakuraiTenjin
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Snape kills Dumbledor?Pesmerga said:
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