Post your best joke

this one isn't so much a joke, more of an observation.

The average games player has liberated France approximately 6000 times.
 
Dedalus said:
this one isn't so much a joke, more of an observation.

The average games player has liberated France approximately 6000 times.
Click to expand...

wtf does that mean?
 
how many World War II games have you played? chances are that every one has included a liberation of france level...therefore the average games player has liberated france a certain number of times. that, combined with the fact that the french are renowned for needing to be rescued and always giving up etc...well i thought it was quite humorous.
 
It's referring to all those WWII games, methinks.

EDIT: Whoops, too late!
 
Would you like em to tell you how i can keep you in suspense I.E. Wating for something?


(Can i make the joke any more obvious?)
 
Yes Brain, its some sort of Hl2 gag *Sarcastic overtones*

I say "Do you want to know how i can keep you in suspense?"
You say "Go on" or something along those lines
I say "So you want me to tell you how to keep you in suspense?"

Its not something that works in a forum really, its best in real conversation.
 
What did Tarzan say when the elephants ran into the jungle?
Here come the elephants.
What did Tarzan say when the elephants ran into the jungle with dark sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
 
haha, good one farrow (i actually got it right away unlike some people..)

i dunno no jokes.. i heard this one before, it's creepy but not as bad as those dead baby ones :flame:

a man in a clown suit leads a little boy into some dark woods at night.
the boy says to the man, "i'm scared."
the man replies, "you're scared?! i have to walk out of these woods alone!"
 
how do you get banned?

post dead baby jokes.


apologies for the offensive/tasteless jokes.
 
2 kids are walking down the street when they notice a dog licking his crotch. The first kid looks and says "man, i wish i could do that." The second kid then stares at the first kid with an odd look on his face and says "I think u'd have to pet him first."
 
What's black and screams?


Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
 
Damn. Someone knows it.

And, thehunter1320? I SAW WHAT YOU POSTED!

HEHEHE HOHOHO!

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[/maniacal laughter]

Ahem. It was really really weird.
 
Farrowlesparrow said:
Blonde jokes?


Well, i have this one...not really a blonde joke, just a trick.
Just press it!
Click to expand...

*makes note to put a Devil aside for Farrow

*Get's back to planning world domination
 
here's the only blonde joke i remember:

a blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are standing in a mall looking at a mirror.
the mirror starts talking and says "if you say something that's true i'll give you something good. but if you say something false you'll go *poof and disappear into oblivion.
so the brunette says "i think that of the three of us, i'm the prettiest." she got a million dollars.
the red-head says "i think that of the three of us, i'm the smartest." she got a new car.
the blonde says " i think..." and she went *poof and disappeared into oblivion.
 
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Have you ever tried to iron one?

An elephant is stuck in a tree. How does he get out?
He hangs on a leaf and waits till autumn.
 
Little Johnny is sat on the bus to school and Mary whose sat next him says'Johnny, whats a penis?'
'I don't know' Replies Johnny 'I'll ask my dad, and let you know tomorrow'

When Johnny get's home he asks his Dad. 'That's easy johnny' says his dad who promptly drops his trousers and waves around his wedding tackle' This is a penis'

The next day on the bus mary is waiting

'Well johnny did you find out what a penis is?'
'Yes Mary' Says johnny, who taking his dad's example drops his trousers and displays his wares 'it's a bit like this, only much smaller'
 
Whats teh best way to look at the G-man..????
thru a sniper scope
 
hope none of these were posted by the other two guys:
Q: How are babies and the elderly alike?
A: Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.

Q: What's red and dances
A: A baby on a barbecue

Q: Whats worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
A: Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.

Q: What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
A: One is legal to hit with an AX.

Q: What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A: A baby tied to the back of a truck.

Q: What's brown and gurgles?
A: A baby in a casserole.

Q: What's red and goes round and round?
A: A baby in a garbage disposal.

Q: What's more fun than strapping a baby to a washingline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: It was chained to a bumper.

Q: If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, is it still hilarious?

Q: What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.

Q: What is yellow and blue and green on the bottom of a pool?
A: A baby with slashed floaties

Q: What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
A: Floaties with a slashed baby.

Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: The same baby three weeks later.

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A1: Fill a glass with root beer, and add a scoop of ice cream and a scoop of dead baby.
A2: One glass of Root Beer and two scoops of baby.
A3: Add 8 ounces of Coke-Cola with 2 scoops of dead baby.
A4: Take your foot off its head.
bah, thats a long post, but its only about 1/4th of my "Dead Baby!.txt" file...
 
there were five monkeys 4 of them were small and the other was a cat so when it started raining there were only 12 reasons to make some sort of cookies so he got straight to it but realised that someone had shat in his car then there was a huge bang what how can anyone understand that said the evil turtle so they all went to japan and went into blackpool where they met jeof in ireland and thats when he realised his flies were undone.

trust me if your a pot head thats the best joke ever
 
BlackWolfdrk said:
there were five monkeys 4 of them were small and the other was a cat so when it started raining there were only 12 reasons to make some sort of cookies so he got straight to it but realised that someone had shat in his car then there was a huge bang what how can anyone understand that said the evil turtle so they all went to japan and went into blackpool where they met jeof in ireland and thats when he realised his flies were undone.

trust me if your a pot head thats the best joke ever
Click to expand...

thats an interesti... i... well... ok but then.... uhhh ...say what? how?
 
Yeah... also WTF is up with the very wierd and disgusting baby jokes?
 
I think we need a new rule, No potheads allowed.
 
BlackWolfdrk said:
there were five monkeys 4 of them were small and the other was a cat so when it started raining there were only 12 reasons to make some sort of cookies so he got straight to it but realised that someone had shat in his car then there was a huge bang what how can anyone understand that said the evil turtle so they all went to japan and went into blackpool where they met jeof in ireland and thats when he realised his flies were undone.

trust me if your a pot head thats the best joke ever
Click to expand...
lol, ya I can picture that making people laugh when their high.
 
Its not meant to make sense and being a stoner i know it makes pot heads laugh because when your caned and try to read and understand its funny
 
yyyeeaah... but since your the only pothead here maybe you shouldn't post things for your kind?
 
Well since we've gone through all of the dead baby jokes I thought I'd introduce another lovely topic:

What's the best thing about showering with an 8 year old girl?
When you slick her hair back she looks like an 8 year old boy.

Ok, I think I'll stop now before one of the mods gets mad.
 
Thats a priest joke, I dont like Priest jokes.
 
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