The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper
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Darkwolf
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NUKE HITS DC HEADQUATERS
A pre-combine FN Nuke has struck the DC headquarters shortly after a statue of the Editor-in-Cheifs savoir was erected. (
)
This last ditch attapt to win the Jornal-Wars failed when 1/3 of city-17 and the FN HQ was vapoirised. Due to the DC HQ's insane amount of lead lining the building and its inhabitants survived, however anybody outside or not in the citadel is either dead or suffering from radiation poisoning.
Unfortunatly due to the intense heat outside, the concrete support of the Boogymanx statue de-set and the statue toppled and landed comically on Boogymanx who coroners belived to be worshiping the 15357 statue.
There is a request currently being put through to the Editor - in - Cheif to close the buildings Exit/Entry blast doors to stem the flow of helpless civilians caught in the fallout.
In other news Boogymanx's body has disappeared from the DC Mourge and a cow was seen leaving shortly after.
-d
A pre-combine FN Nuke has struck the DC headquarters shortly after a statue of the Editor-in-Cheifs savoir was erected. (
)This last ditch attapt to win the Jornal-Wars failed when 1/3 of city-17 and the FN HQ was vapoirised. Due to the DC HQ's insane amount of lead lining the building and its inhabitants survived, however anybody outside or not in the citadel is either dead or suffering from radiation poisoning.
Unfortunatly due to the intense heat outside, the concrete support of the Boogymanx statue de-set and the statue toppled and landed comically on Boogymanx who coroners belived to be worshiping the 15357 statue.
There is a request currently being put through to the Editor - in - Cheif to close the buildings Exit/Entry blast doors to stem the flow of helpless civilians caught in the fallout.
In other news Boogymanx's body has disappeared from the DC Mourge and a cow was seen leaving shortly after.
-d
AJ Rimmer
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How has the nuclear holocaust changed life in the city?
We went to the streets of City 17 to find out.
After today's thermonuclear detonation in downtown City 17, many citizens have complained about hairloss, loss of apetite, loss of bodily functions, loss of control over one's colon and the addition of several limbs. These illnesses have of course been a nuisance to the City for several years but the number of them have increased by almost 10% since the bomb went off. The combine have decided to take action, and in a press conference they today announced that their resolution was absolute, and that their method of attacking this problem was proven to be the best. When asked by DC reporters what exactly their plan was, a Combine CP Patrol Officer had this to say: "Well, if anyone comes and complains, we're just gonna shoot'em!"
Hopefully, their plan will work.
/AJ Rimmer, Daily Citizen
We went to the streets of City 17 to find out.
After today's thermonuclear detonation in downtown City 17, many citizens have complained about hairloss, loss of apetite, loss of bodily functions, loss of control over one's colon and the addition of several limbs. These illnesses have of course been a nuisance to the City for several years but the number of them have increased by almost 10% since the bomb went off. The combine have decided to take action, and in a press conference they today announced that their resolution was absolute, and that their method of attacking this problem was proven to be the best. When asked by DC reporters what exactly their plan was, a Combine CP Patrol Officer had this to say: "Well, if anyone comes and complains, we're just gonna shoot'em!"
Hopefully, their plan will work.
/AJ Rimmer, Daily Citizen
bat_lyubo
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Man Found Guilty of Stealing
Citizen #36403777330 was found guilty in the Supreme People's Combine Court yesterday. The two days long triaL proved the above mentioned citizen of stealing possesions from the flat of an unnamed victim. Amongst those objects were: a bicycle, a windows frame and 4 doors from the studio flat in block #067. The thief will be executed. The Combine said they will 'shoot the vicitm, coz she's a.... uuum, a victim.'
Citizen #36403777330 was found guilty in the Supreme People's Combine Court yesterday. The two days long triaL proved the above mentioned citizen of stealing possesions from the flat of an unnamed victim. Amongst those objects were: a bicycle, a windows frame and 4 doors from the studio flat in block #067. The thief will be executed. The Combine said they will 'shoot the vicitm, coz she's a.... uuum, a victim.'
H
Hybro
Guest
Have You Seen This Man?
(Click to Enlarge)
This man has been spotted recently in closed-access areas and with non-regulation clothing. His registration and citizen numbers are unknown. Details concerning him are sketchy and are limited to the following:
Name: Unconfirmed sources say B-Man or G-Man.
Physical Description: Of average height, slim, Caucasian/Oriental and 45+ years old. Short black hair. Wears suit, probably dark blue and tie of uncertain colour. Usually seen carrying black briefcase.
Wanted for trespassing, disregard for article 4a, b and c of statute 7b (clothing laws), suspicious behaviour, suspected fraternisation with illegal splinter group(s) and generally giving away very little, being spooky and causing mass speculation.
A reward of triple food rations for a year and a three month inspection break for your residence is offered for information leading to the capture of this man.
He may be dangerous. Be on your guard.
(Click to Enlarge)
This man has been spotted recently in closed-access areas and with non-regulation clothing. His registration and citizen numbers are unknown. Details concerning him are sketchy and are limited to the following:
Name: Unconfirmed sources say B-Man or G-Man.
Physical Description: Of average height, slim, Caucasian/Oriental and 45+ years old. Short black hair. Wears suit, probably dark blue and tie of uncertain colour. Usually seen carrying black briefcase.
Wanted for trespassing, disregard for article 4a, b and c of statute 7b (clothing laws), suspicious behaviour, suspected fraternisation with illegal splinter group(s) and generally giving away very little, being spooky and causing mass speculation.
A reward of triple food rations for a year and a three month inspection break for your residence is offered for information leading to the capture of this man.
He may be dangerous. Be on your guard.
- Overwatch Chief Commisioner
the_rebel_medic
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TRM MAGICALLY REVIVED
Today in a strange turn of events, just moments after the nuking of the TDC HQ, The_Rebel_medic was revived thanks to the vengeance of god. When the great lord was really pissed he threw lightning down upon the worldly healer just a few hours after being killed and healing boogymanx, the once was cow/savior. This is most likely to be in relation to the fact that this war had killed so many innocent memos, causing want to terrorize TDC HQ with TRM
“It’s just not fair” said 15357, Editor of TDC, “god certainly is vengeful as now we have TRM back on our asses terrorizing the HQ and just pissing everybody off”. TRM has promised to reduce his terrorizations in exchange for a raise and a promotion
We talked to the writer dark wolf who originally reported on the final attack on TDC HQ
TRM: hello Mr. Darkwolf
-d: my name is Omally
TRM: man you’ve gotta stop watching RvB episodes, Caboose!!!
-d: I’m gonna poison your next meal
TRM: I’m a medic dammit, and I read Harry Potter, I’ll just have a beozar stone ready at all times
-d: LIAR
As you can see this has nothing to do with this article but its funny none the less. TRM is now waiting in his office with a HMG aiming at the door ready to kill anyone but 15357 or his coffee brining assistant. “I want a raise and a promotion or I’ll kill everyone but 15357 and my assistant and heal and kill them repetitively” said TRM.
“15357 is currently considering it and has expected to have his answer in the next week” said his assistant in reply to the question of the promotion
In other news kelvini, previous writer who had advertised pulse rifles a few months/years/weeks/decades/pre combine rules ago, has been killed in an unfortunate smelting accident and is expected to remain this way until TRM has visited and Shocky paddled him which TRM says wont be until after promotion and raise. So in the end it does turn out to relate, doesn’t it?
This is the crazed, promotion wanting, raise to feed his starving family of one needing, Glock and HMG wielding person called TRM who is refusing to let anyone but 15357 or his coffee brining assistant in his office signing off
Today in a strange turn of events, just moments after the nuking of the TDC HQ, The_Rebel_medic was revived thanks to the vengeance of god. When the great lord was really pissed he threw lightning down upon the worldly healer just a few hours after being killed and healing boogymanx, the once was cow/savior. This is most likely to be in relation to the fact that this war had killed so many innocent memos, causing want to terrorize TDC HQ with TRM
“It’s just not fair” said 15357, Editor of TDC, “god certainly is vengeful as now we have TRM back on our asses terrorizing the HQ and just pissing everybody off”. TRM has promised to reduce his terrorizations in exchange for a raise and a promotion
We talked to the writer dark wolf who originally reported on the final attack on TDC HQ
TRM: hello Mr. Darkwolf
-d: my name is Omally
TRM: man you’ve gotta stop watching RvB episodes, Caboose!!!
-d: I’m gonna poison your next meal
TRM: I’m a medic dammit, and I read Harry Potter, I’ll just have a beozar stone ready at all times
-d: LIAR
As you can see this has nothing to do with this article but its funny none the less. TRM is now waiting in his office with a HMG aiming at the door ready to kill anyone but 15357 or his coffee brining assistant. “I want a raise and a promotion or I’ll kill everyone but 15357 and my assistant and heal and kill them repetitively” said TRM.
“15357 is currently considering it and has expected to have his answer in the next week” said his assistant in reply to the question of the promotion
In other news kelvini, previous writer who had advertised pulse rifles a few months/years/weeks/decades/pre combine rules ago, has been killed in an unfortunate smelting accident and is expected to remain this way until TRM has visited and Shocky paddled him which TRM says wont be until after promotion and raise. So in the end it does turn out to relate, doesn’t it?
This is the crazed, promotion wanting, raise to feed his starving family of one needing, Glock and HMG wielding person called TRM who is refusing to let anyone but 15357 or his coffee brining assistant in his office signing off
the_rebel_medic
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Hybro mysteriously kidnapped
Today in a shocking final act by FN hybro, TDC’s best writer has been kidnapped for no apparent reason. FN refuses to return Hybro unless TDC ceases writing forevever Seeing as FN is directly across the road from TDC all writers bar the forsaken have come together in a bold attempt to try to get him back. The plan is as follows:
1. TRM sets up more HMGs outside of his window
2. 15357 comes to the front desk of FN to consider a surrender
3. darkwolf (MY NAME IS OMALLY DAMMIT) DARKWOLF picks off the front desk attendant
4. TRM continues to watch through his window
5. boogymanx will call the CP to rescue him but will fail to rouse their suspicions
6. TRM will once again continue to watch
7. kamikazie will kill Hybro
8. TRM will shoot out the FN window, make a daring leap and break his legs on entry to FN and revive Hybro
9. Everyone will completely butcher remaining FN attendants and Hybro will be alive and happy as TRM checks vitals and occasionally kill anyone coming through the door
As you can see this plan is flawless and best of all I get to break my legs YAY
This is TRM signing off
Today in a shocking final act by FN hybro, TDC’s best writer has been kidnapped for no apparent reason. FN refuses to return Hybro unless TDC ceases writing forevever Seeing as FN is directly across the road from TDC all writers bar the forsaken have come together in a bold attempt to try to get him back. The plan is as follows:
1. TRM sets up more HMGs outside of his window
2. 15357 comes to the front desk of FN to consider a surrender
3. darkwolf (MY NAME IS OMALLY DAMMIT) DARKWOLF picks off the front desk attendant
4. TRM continues to watch through his window
5. boogymanx will call the CP to rescue him but will fail to rouse their suspicions
6. TRM will once again continue to watch
7. kamikazie will kill Hybro
8. TRM will shoot out the FN window, make a daring leap and break his legs on entry to FN and revive Hybro
9. Everyone will completely butcher remaining FN attendants and Hybro will be alive and happy as TRM checks vitals and occasionally kill anyone coming through the door
As you can see this plan is flawless and best of all I get to break my legs YAY
This is TRM signing off
Boogymanx
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Boogymanx beat by CP when asking for their help
Boogymanx, a TDC reporter, has been beaten by several CP's. He was trying to get them to focus on saving Hybro, who was kidnapped earlier today by Fax News, TDC's lame, and unsuccesful, opponent. Following the plan of TRM, several attempts have been made, slaying FN writers, but not managing to rescue Hybro. This newspaperwar has come to the ears of Dr Wallace B., who had this to say: "An expected failure, Dr Freeman". Apparently he thinks this is an attempt of The Free Man, to make as many people rebel against the Combine oppression. We don't know how he got the idea, but maybe he knows something about FN we don't, maybe they ARE Combine, and we'll send our worst writer, Boogymanx, we have to investigate this.
Boogymanx, a TDC reporter, has been beaten by several CP's. He was trying to get them to focus on saving Hybro, who was kidnapped earlier today by Fax News, TDC's lame, and unsuccesful, opponent. Following the plan of TRM, several attempts have been made, slaying FN writers, but not managing to rescue Hybro. This newspaperwar has come to the ears of Dr Wallace B., who had this to say: "An expected failure, Dr Freeman". Apparently he thinks this is an attempt of The Free Man, to make as many people rebel against the Combine oppression. We don't know how he got the idea, but maybe he knows something about FN we don't, maybe they ARE Combine, and we'll send our worst writer, Boogymanx, we have to investigate this.
Bob_Marley
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TDC Prepare for final offencive against FN!
Today TRM announced his plans for the final assault on the FN HQ and the rescue of Hybro the writer that has been so tragicly kidnapped by FN. "The plan is flawless and cannot fail" according to TRM who will be supervising the attack from his office window while demanding a raise and a premotion. The stage looks set for an end to this brutal and long running "press war" that has engulfed City 17.
The entire staff of TDC is arming for the attack at it look set that the assault will be swift a bloody with the forces of TDC looking for no less than total elimination of FN assets in City 17.
And with that I must sign off and grab my combat gear.
Today TRM announced his plans for the final assault on the FN HQ and the rescue of Hybro the writer that has been so tragicly kidnapped by FN. "The plan is flawless and cannot fail" according to TRM who will be supervising the attack from his office window while demanding a raise and a premotion. The stage looks set for an end to this brutal and long running "press war" that has engulfed City 17.
The entire staff of TDC is arming for the attack at it look set that the assault will be swift a bloody with the forces of TDC looking for no less than total elimination of FN assets in City 17.
And with that I must sign off and grab my combat gear.
Jintor
Didn't Get Temp-Banned
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SCREAMING BLUE DEMONS: 'Peace is our profession'
This article has nothing to do with the title, please ignore.
---internal memo----
Here is my 'full stop'. You should use them after sentences. (THIS MEANS YOU TRM! Although your general grammar has improved very well)
This article has nothing to do with the title, please ignore.
---internal memo----
Here is my 'full stop'. You should use them after sentences. (THIS MEANS YOU TRM! Although your general grammar has improved very well)
Boogymanx
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Boogymanx departs to France for 16 days
Tomorrow, August the 5th, Boogymanx will depart to France for 16 days. He's personally not looking forward to this, but the evil force named parents made him agree. This really is a crappish article isn't it?
Tomorrow, August the 5th, Boogymanx will depart to France for 16 days. He's personally not looking forward to this, but the evil force named parents made him agree. This really is a crappish article isn't it?
the_rebel_medic
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Internal Memo:
Thanks for that Jintor.
/me hunkers down for a big arse explosion.
PS. do i get my promotion?
Thanks for that Jintor.
/me hunkers down for a big arse explosion.
PS. do i get my promotion?
bat_lyubo
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Advertisement:
A big Vodka store has opened in the block #045c on second floor, apartment 56. We sell cheap vodka and have ties with the Combine, so you will not be killed.
Author: the Combine
just come along and we'll give you some Vodka
A big Vodka store has opened in the block #045c on second floor, apartment 56. We sell cheap vodka and have ties with the Combine, so you will not be killed.
Author: the Combine
just come along and we'll give you some Vodka
bliink
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bat_lyubo said:
This just in; a stray watermelon has rolled into the vodka store, causing the bottles to fall and smash, any unsmashed bottles were pulled into the air and flew against the wall with great force..
A man in an orange suit with a strange, gravity manipulating device is wanted for questioning.
the_rebel_medic
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Internal Memo:
Enter Lockdown sequence....
Enter password for lockdown....
********
Password successfuly entered....
Enter password for nerve gas release....
Awaiting password....
I WANT MY PROMOTION OR I'LL KILL YOU ALL.
Enter Lockdown sequence....
Enter password for lockdown....
********
Password successfuly entered....
Enter password for nerve gas release....
Awaiting password....
I WANT MY PROMOTION OR I'LL KILL YOU ALL.
the_rebel_medic
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YAY sweet
Password....
Lockdown deactavation sequence commencing.....
Password required....
Wait do I till get to write?
Password....
Lockdown deactavation sequence commencing.....
Password required....
Wait do I till get to write?
15357
Companion Cube
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Yes....
Giant Watermelon Strikes!
A huge watermelon of 50 feet in diameter has been rolling around in now-irridated C17.
Several CP officers were crushed to death trying to stop the thing.
A spokesperson from the CCIA said today:
"It was caused by the rebels! they haxxorz!"
Before getting crushed by the watermelon.
Eyewitnesses were taken for questioning, and one of them said:
"Err, the rebels did it! Can I go now?"
The gigantic watermelon was last seen heding towards the DC building.
Giant Watermelon Strikes!
A huge watermelon of 50 feet in diameter has been rolling around in now-irridated C17.
Several CP officers were crushed to death trying to stop the thing.
A spokesperson from the CCIA said today:
"It was caused by the rebels! they haxxorz!"
Before getting crushed by the watermelon.
Eyewitnesses were taken for questioning, and one of them said:
"Err, the rebels did it! Can I go now?"
The gigantic watermelon was last seen heding towards the DC building.
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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YAY.
input password.....
**********
password correct.....
lockdown deactivated....
thankyou and next time only use this if you want to you bum.....
/me sets up a large watermelon frying machine
lets get Hawaiian
Edit: can someone please read my fanfic, please Medical Emergeny, I promise it has to do with HL2.
input password.....
**********
password correct.....
lockdown deactivated....
thankyou and next time only use this if you want to you bum.....
/me sets up a large watermelon frying machine
lets get Hawaiian
Edit: can someone please read my fanfic, please Medical Emergeny, I promise it has to do with HL2.
bat_lyubo
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bliink said:
BREAKING NEWS
A man in an orange green suit has just been seen contaminating the C17 area alongside some rebels. 100% Combine force diversion towards this man.
A spokeswoman for the c17 Daily news (aka Mr [Dr] Breen) said:
''we are terrified @this. Its outrageous init. I is gonna rip that geezer's @$$!!''
the only comment from the Combine so far was a spray of bullets.
City 17 is still on autopilot, with the governent hiding, the Combine killing and the resistance forces ruling the city. A hadful of citizens escaped.... as far as the next Combien post on the way.
''Survivors will be shot''
the_rebel_medic
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Internal Memo:
Ummmm bat_lyubo I was watching the security camereas (yay) and noticed the gramaticads were on the way to threaten to kill you if your grammar doesn't improve.
Use the H&N MP7 under the desk.
Thankyou
TRM
security
Ummmm bat_lyubo I was watching the security camereas (yay) and noticed the gramaticads were on the way to threaten to kill you if your grammar doesn't improve.
Use the H&N MP7 under the desk.
Thankyou
TRM
security
the_rebel_medic
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Yes sir, what information are you after?
the_rebel_medic
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DONT WORRY I'M HERE!
/me shocks boogymanx again
man you gotta stop dying, this is getting annoying
/me shocks boogymanx again
man you gotta stop dying, this is getting annoying
the_rebel_medic
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My name suggests that I heal people and that means that I use a defibrillator aswell so i like using my medical powers but none the less Boogymanx needs to be healed to much
i like using my medical powers but none the less Boogymanx needs to be healed to much
bat_lyubo
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Thnk you for your comment, Mr Rebel_medic.
Dear citizens, we are Citizen TV and will be back after the brake.
[advertisement]
Are you bored? Why not watch the Combine commedy channel?
[Combine 1]
Hey, is that a crack in your mask?
[Combine 2]
Engage! (Combine 1 down, I repeat, man down)
Dear citizens, we are Citizen TV and will be back after the brake.
[advertisement]
Are you bored? Why not watch the Combine commedy channel?
[Combine 1]
Hey, is that a crack in your mask?
[Combine 2]
Engage! (Combine 1 down, I repeat, man down)
- Status
