S
strider rider
Guest
im a NOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper
- Thread starter 15357
- Start date
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Jintor
Didn't Get Temp-Banned
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Noobie Infestation
All units in the City 17 Area are instructed to return to DC Headquaters immediantly, preferably with shotguns or something, and help us flush out these noobies. Tear gas is apparently their weakness; Should that fail we will have no choice but to pay somebody. Please. Don't make us give away money.
All units in the City 17 Area are instructed to return to DC Headquaters immediantly, preferably with shotguns or something, and help us flush out these noobies. Tear gas is apparently their weakness; Should that fail we will have no choice but to pay somebody. Please. Don't make us give away money.
Edcrab
Veteran Incompetent
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Do I need a gasmask? I'm still not sure if I'm a member of the Elite, because after all the electrocution and torture and the helmet-stealing-incident I lost track.
I suppose when my internal organs start popping I'll figure it out... and I'm going to try and put an article up before I go away for a couple of weeks on Saturday. Honest!
I suppose when my internal organs start popping I'll figure it out... and I'm going to try and put an article up before I go away for a couple of weeks on Saturday. Honest!
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Do i get a gas mask. im on the run and teargas will help against the combine, providing i puncture their gasmasks. yes
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Internal Memo:
I've shot strider rider. wasn't easy either. luckily I have had a group of rebels helping me, YAY for RPGs
I've shot strider rider. wasn't easy either. luckily I have had a group of rebels helping me, YAY for RPGs
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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secret memo:
about bloody time they arrested me, been waiting for the last few pages
anyway they forgot my glock. be back soon lots of kisses to any female writers and handshakes to shims and males
TRM
about bloody time they arrested me, been waiting for the last few pages
anyway they forgot my glock. be back soon lots of kisses to any female writers and handshakes to shims and males
TRM
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Woohoo back
TRM escapes from Nova Prospekt
In the twilight hours this morning TRM had escaped due to the help of a small group of rebels armed with pherapods broke through the walls
TRM is once again (much to his dismay) back on the run. he is expected to be found in a locked down room with all necessary supplies for one week. he is still armed with his glock. when he was asked to hand over the 9mm weapon he suddenly became grey, skinny and in a hissing voice said "NOOO you must never touch the precious" he then suddenly returned to normal.
keep watching the papers
TRM
TRM escapes from Nova Prospekt
In the twilight hours this morning TRM had escaped due to the help of a small group of rebels armed with pherapods broke through the walls
TRM is once again (much to his dismay) back on the run. he is expected to be found in a locked down room with all necessary supplies for one week. he is still armed with his glock. when he was asked to hand over the 9mm weapon he suddenly became grey, skinny and in a hissing voice said "NOOO you must never touch the precious" he then suddenly returned to normal.
keep watching the papers
TRM
Jintor
Didn't Get Temp-Banned
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Well, this plane, sorta like, you know, exploded, and like, i was like, WOAH, but then, we totally covered it, and those other newspaper stands, they also, like, you'know, EXPLODED, and it was so wicked cool.
DUDE! YOU MISSED EVERYTHING!
DUDE! YOU MISSED EVERYTHING!
Jintor
Didn't Get Temp-Banned
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'One Free Man' affects time and space!
Also found to have tossed can at officer
In a mass of death and destruction today, the legendary, mythical 'one free man', Gordon Freeman, blasted his way out of the City17 train terminal today, using such objects as cans to throw at officers. It is also immediantly apparent that despite being one of the most famous persons left alive after what is now know as Combine Benifactors day that no-one recognized him at all; civillians who had been told of the legend by close colleagues who survived Black Mesa or Combine Civil Protection neurally implanted to spot and destroy him, no-one knew who the hell the crazy guy with brown eyes, hair, and large glasses (outlawed after the glass incident of '03) was.
In fact, the only time the Free Man was actually detected occured only after a humble accounting computer detected a miscount in that sector, and large groups of Civil Protection units were unleashed in order to beat the crap out of anyone they saw. Dr Breen made a statement from behind a large steel door yesterday, saying 'I'm sure that guy, Freeman, can't get inside the citadel and blow it up, and yes, I'm sure our weapon stripper systems are functioning perfectly. What do you mean your camera's now a rocket launcher? Let me see -'.
In related news, Freeman is said to have been able to warp time and space. 'I saw him at Black Mesa' says one scientist who will very soon be wearing nice, new, concrete shoes. 'And it was almost immediantly apparent he was bending the space/time mainframe around himself. I seem to remember alternate realities where he would die, and the second he died the time/space vortex would re-align around itself and we would once again be in the past. No-one else mentioned it but i asked around and apparently people have been doing it for arrrarrrgharrrhg stopthatpainpainPLEASEPLEASEBAIGGIAJDSLKJD-'.
That's the 12 o clock news. Stay at home. It's safer that way.
Also found to have tossed can at officer
In a mass of death and destruction today, the legendary, mythical 'one free man', Gordon Freeman, blasted his way out of the City17 train terminal today, using such objects as cans to throw at officers. It is also immediantly apparent that despite being one of the most famous persons left alive after what is now know as Combine Benifactors day that no-one recognized him at all; civillians who had been told of the legend by close colleagues who survived Black Mesa or Combine Civil Protection neurally implanted to spot and destroy him, no-one knew who the hell the crazy guy with brown eyes, hair, and large glasses (outlawed after the glass incident of '03) was.
In fact, the only time the Free Man was actually detected occured only after a humble accounting computer detected a miscount in that sector, and large groups of Civil Protection units were unleashed in order to beat the crap out of anyone they saw. Dr Breen made a statement from behind a large steel door yesterday, saying 'I'm sure that guy, Freeman, can't get inside the citadel and blow it up, and yes, I'm sure our weapon stripper systems are functioning perfectly. What do you mean your camera's now a rocket launcher? Let me see -'.
In related news, Freeman is said to have been able to warp time and space. 'I saw him at Black Mesa' says one scientist who will very soon be wearing nice, new, concrete shoes. 'And it was almost immediantly apparent he was bending the space/time mainframe around himself. I seem to remember alternate realities where he would die, and the second he died the time/space vortex would re-align around itself and we would once again be in the past. No-one else mentioned it but i asked around and apparently people have been doing it for arrrarrrgharrrhg stopthatpainpainPLEASEPLEASEBAIGGIAJDSLKJD-'.
That's the 12 o clock news. Stay at home. It's safer that way.
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Internal Memo:
LMFAO you know what that is the absolute truth. Why didn't any CP units attack you at the begining (I think thats how it's spelt)
LMFAO you know what that is the absolute truth. Why didn't any CP units attack you at the begining (I think thats how it's spelt)
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Internal Memo: Pulse Rifles (supplied by kelvini free of charge) for every one. now we wait for evilsloth
Darkwolf
Tank
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stares at 15357? Your not related to the gaheemowhatsit from doctor who are u???
Gas Mask Epidemic
There have been incresed sightings of clinically dead people in gas masks. If touched by one of this jibbering cadavers the only currantly known cure is a high velocity projectile. Symptoms include a gas mask erupting from your face, a scar on the backof your hand, and a constant query as to the location of your maternal parent.
He is a rare interveiw with someone afflicted with this deseise:
Thats all from this reporter who is now off to have some mummy... i mean coffee.
-d
Gas Mask Epidemic
There have been incresed sightings of clinically dead people in gas masks. If touched by one of this jibbering cadavers the only currantly known cure is a high velocity projectile. Symptoms include a gas mask erupting from your face, a scar on the backof your hand, and a constant query as to the location of your maternal parent.
He is a rare interveiw with someone afflicted with this deseise:
Thats all from this reporter who is now off to have some mummy... i mean coffee.
-d
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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Internal Memo:
OPEN FIRE...HES BACKED UP BY Hl2fan_marty, CALL THE CP, CALL THE OVERWATCH, CALL FREEMAN, CALL THE MOST POWERFULL PERSON IN THE WORLD, call 15357 KILL MIAM AND DESTROY THE TRAITOR EVILSLOTH
PS I LIKE CAPS
OPEN FIRE...HES BACKED UP BY Hl2fan_marty, CALL THE CP, CALL THE OVERWATCH, CALL FREEMAN, CALL THE MOST POWERFULL PERSON IN THE WORLD, call 15357 KILL MIAM AND DESTROY THE TRAITOR EVILSLOTH
PS I LIKE CAPS
15357
Companion Cube
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*keeps pressing the button marked "evilsloth's chair" until he realizes that its broken*
since the execution button doesn't work, evilsloth, come back.
p.s. to TRM: go um.. get pesmerga out of here until he gets the worker ID.
since the execution button doesn't work, evilsloth, come back.
p.s. to TRM: go um.. get pesmerga out of here until he gets the worker ID.
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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/me smiles and draws combat knife
your the boss
your the boss
Jintor
Didn't Get Temp-Banned
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Chaos Within DC headquarters (AGAIN!)
The mad ramblings of 1337 editor 15357 has gone off the charts recently as demonstrated by the line of dashes.
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Obviously he has managed to serially brainwash key, coffee-carrying members of the reporting public and get them to murder other coffee-carrying members of the reporting public for entertainment or possibly betting purposes.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Ladies, there's a massive epidemic going around. IN MY PANTS!!!!!... Uh, the anti-breeding thingy is down until further notice.
The mad ramblings of 1337 editor 15357 has gone off the charts recently as demonstrated by the line of dashes.
----------------------------------------------------------
Obviously he has managed to serially brainwash key, coffee-carrying members of the reporting public and get them to murder other coffee-carrying members of the reporting public for entertainment or possibly betting purposes.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Ladies, there's a massive epidemic going around. IN MY PANTS!!!!!... Uh, the anti-breeding thingy is down until further notice.
the_rebel_medic
Spy
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2005
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- 876
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POINTLESS STABBINGS
Today TRM has been seen pointlessly stabbing and healing pesmerga repeditivly (i cant spell that word) TRM is also running out of his ability to write longer articles most likely due to the fact that stabbing pesmerga is quite tiring. thought it should be known
TRM
Today TRM has been seen pointlessly stabbing and healing pesmerga repeditivly (i cant spell that word) TRM is also running out of his ability to write longer articles most likely due to the fact that stabbing pesmerga is quite tiring. thought it should be known
TRM
15357
Companion Cube
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Our finances, (TOP SECRET! ONLY FOR EXECUTIVE OFFICERS OF TDC's EYES)
Graph: Employee salaries
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Graph: Personal income of THE EDITOR
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__________________________
Graph: Employee salaries
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___________________________
Graph: Personal income of THE EDITOR
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__________________________
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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yea ill start stabbing you regardless
the_rebel_medic
Spy
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/me reminds them of the glock
just give me a relaxent, coke is a real nerve racker for me.
(or is that breens private reserve?)
just give me a relaxent, coke is a real nerve racker for me.
(or is that breens private reserve?)
15357
Companion Cube
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Ashley Logan is concerned. And City 34 administrators are going to be hearing about it.
Logan has recently formed the group Citizens Against Dietary Suppression (CADS) with the hope of bringing attention to the problems faced by many citizens of City 34.
“It’s an outrage. Don’t they have any consideration for us? The dietary restrictions are absurd. Nearly everyone I know is forced to eat watermelon every day,” says Logan, a former member of the entertainment industry. “I don’t think they have any idea of the amount of carbohydrates found in a single serving of watermelon. And I see people eating from Chinese food containers on a regular basis. It’s just awful.”
CADS co-founder Lisa Bertrand has the future in mind. “They can’t be here forever. That’s what Administrator Breen keeps telling us. When they’re gone what’s going to be left here? A city of carbohydrate-addicted fatties? I know that in the past year I’ve gained two pounds! Two pounds! How will I ever get my career started back up again?” She dissolves into hopeless tears.
Logan and Bertrand have collected a group of over a dozen members to CADS. Several were once big names in Hollywood before the arrival of the UU. They hope to use their former status to bring awareness to the general citizenry and the leaders of the city. Reinstating nutrition information labeling and increasing diversity in food selection is high on their priority list.
“We’ll be picketing at the administrative offices next week and we encourage everyone to show up and give support. We have a right to choose,” Logan states. “And no one knows what they put in those prepackaged meals. We need to show the UU that grassroots movements like this really can make a change.”
Shortly afterwards, Logan was taken into custody by the Combine Central Intellegence Agency (CCIA).
See related story pg. 3
Watermelon Production: How Do They Grow So Many?
Logan has recently formed the group Citizens Against Dietary Suppression (CADS) with the hope of bringing attention to the problems faced by many citizens of City 34.
“It’s an outrage. Don’t they have any consideration for us? The dietary restrictions are absurd. Nearly everyone I know is forced to eat watermelon every day,” says Logan, a former member of the entertainment industry. “I don’t think they have any idea of the amount of carbohydrates found in a single serving of watermelon. And I see people eating from Chinese food containers on a regular basis. It’s just awful.”
CADS co-founder Lisa Bertrand has the future in mind. “They can’t be here forever. That’s what Administrator Breen keeps telling us. When they’re gone what’s going to be left here? A city of carbohydrate-addicted fatties? I know that in the past year I’ve gained two pounds! Two pounds! How will I ever get my career started back up again?” She dissolves into hopeless tears.
Logan and Bertrand have collected a group of over a dozen members to CADS. Several were once big names in Hollywood before the arrival of the UU. They hope to use their former status to bring awareness to the general citizenry and the leaders of the city. Reinstating nutrition information labeling and increasing diversity in food selection is high on their priority list.
“We’ll be picketing at the administrative offices next week and we encourage everyone to show up and give support. We have a right to choose,” Logan states. “And no one knows what they put in those prepackaged meals. We need to show the UU that grassroots movements like this really can make a change.”
Shortly afterwards, Logan was taken into custody by the Combine Central Intellegence Agency (CCIA).
See related story pg. 3
Watermelon Production: How Do They Grow So Many?
- Status
