The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper
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the_rebel_medic
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Internal Memo:
TRM wannting to lead the assult
/me primes H&K MP-7
BRINGITONNN
TRM wannting to lead the assult
/me primes H&K MP-7
BRINGITONNN
Darkwolf
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City 8 hit by rebel Dark Matter Bomb
Breaking news from the front.
The rebels have used one of their reacently aquired Dark Matter bombs on the citadel of City-8, Originaly New York. The citadel was built on the remains of the Statue of Liberty wich was brought down after it was thought to be inspiring rebellous thoughts in citizens.
After the Dark energy clouds cleared, all that remained of the citadel was a small stump. Luckily there were only a few civilian losses, only 2000 dead 50,000 injured. These were mostly the rich and favoured b[EXPLETED] who lived by the shores.
Manhatten is now being used as a Rebel base of operations with the citadels underground backup generators powering sheilds and AA plasma guns all around Manhatten.
Thats all from Me, Your reporter with the rebellion.
TAKE HEART MY COMRADES THE OPPRESION IS WAINING, TO THE FIG- *splat*...
ther goes my spleen again.
In other news, Hybro taken for questioning. Suspected of espionage for rebel causes, more on that later.
Breaking news from the front.
The rebels have used one of their reacently aquired Dark Matter bombs on the citadel of City-8, Originaly New York. The citadel was built on the remains of the Statue of Liberty wich was brought down after it was thought to be inspiring rebellous thoughts in citizens.
After the Dark energy clouds cleared, all that remained of the citadel was a small stump. Luckily there were only a few civilian losses, only 2000 dead 50,000 injured. These were mostly the rich and favoured b[EXPLETED] who lived by the shores.
Manhatten is now being used as a Rebel base of operations with the citadels underground backup generators powering sheilds and AA plasma guns all around Manhatten.
Thats all from Me, Your reporter with the rebellion.
TAKE HEART MY COMRADES THE OPPRESION IS WAINING, TO THE FIG- *splat*...
ther goes my spleen again.
In other news, Hybro taken for questioning. Suspected of espionage for rebel causes, more on that later.
Jintor
Didn't Get Temp-Banned
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Battle Report: Overwatch unit 238
>warning: this information is for the brains only of our overwatch masters. ph34r th3m!
>status: Critical_damage_sustained
>function: Play y/n? y
>Rewinding...
>play:
Combine Officer 345*Squad 238*Amphibious assault unit: Reporting.
Rebels have taken command of an outpost in sector 43. Our unit was sent in today to clear the area with flamethrowers. A bug in the software prevented the use, closeure or even the possibility of obtaining said flamethrowers. Were forced to rely on MP5's. <note: MP5s have high rate of fire, very low accuracy, low damage - replace with Overwatch Pulse rifles as soon as possible> Half squad lost in tunnels, apparently hit by large flying whirly thing driven by man in orange suit. Identity: Rebel collaborator. Camera eatern by barnacles, crow eatern by barnacles. Barnacle eatern by me.
Reports are coming in from outlying sectors. Rebel activity larger than expected. Requesting a gunship, 2 if possible. Mines needed. Advice >fastforward> lay mines over mountain roads. Will stop low-flying whirly things. Also cars. Advise : Force Barriers create force barrier around battery; not plug into easily destroyable APC. Warning: Rebel base detected, requesting gunships. <note: Destroy crane as soon as possible>. <note: remember antlion perfume>
>warning: this information is for the brains only of our overwatch masters. ph34r th3m!
>status: Critical_damage_sustained
>function: Play y/n? y
>Rewinding...
>play:
Combine Officer 345*Squad 238*Amphibious assault unit: Reporting.
Rebels have taken command of an outpost in sector 43. Our unit was sent in today to clear the area with flamethrowers. A bug in the software prevented the use, closeure or even the possibility of obtaining said flamethrowers. Were forced to rely on MP5's. <note: MP5s have high rate of fire, very low accuracy, low damage - replace with Overwatch Pulse rifles as soon as possible> Half squad lost in tunnels, apparently hit by large flying whirly thing driven by man in orange suit. Identity: Rebel collaborator. Camera eatern by barnacles, crow eatern by barnacles. Barnacle eatern by me.
Reports are coming in from outlying sectors. Rebel activity larger than expected. Requesting a gunship, 2 if possible. Mines needed. Advice >fastforward> lay mines over mountain roads. Will stop low-flying whirly things. Also cars. Advise : Force Barriers create force barrier around battery; not plug into easily destroyable APC. Warning: Rebel base detected, requesting gunships. <note: Destroy crane as soon as possible>. <note: remember antlion perfume>
H
Hybro
Guest
News Bulletin
Darkwolf has been taken in for questioning charged with conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. As this reporter says, just because I'm not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me...
- Hybro
Darkwolf has been taken in for questioning charged with conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. As this reporter says, just because I'm not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me...
- Hybro
H
Hybro
Guest
Special Music Event - click image for full size poster!
- Hybro
- Hybro
15357
Companion Cube
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>Cannot load OS
>BIOS recovery failed
>DCHQmainframe.rom is corrupted or missing
>command.com cannot be loaded.
>Fatal Error 24254: Ec39889fdd.
>Warning: Nerve Gas
>...
>...
>...
>System Shutdown.
Ok, who messed with the computers?
>BIOS recovery failed
>DCHQmainframe.rom is corrupted or missing
>command.com cannot be loaded.
>Fatal Error 24254: Ec39889fdd.
>Warning: Nerve Gas
>...
>...
>...
>System Shutdown.
Ok, who messed with the computers?
the_rebel_medic
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Well I saw pesmerga screwing around in my office but...thats pesmerga so it can't possibly be him and I also saw evilsloth messing around with my desk...hmmmm
/me cocks glock
If you want...
/me cocks glock
If you want...
H
Hybro
Guest
Internal Memo: I saw a headcrab tap dancing on the administrator's keyboard. It had a little cane and a top hat. I shot it.
S
Solidsocom
Guest
the headcrab was also singing sumthing like "wen u r forced to touch yourself then look to ur pornography friend"
S
Solidsocom
Guest
hey i was wondering where the screenshots go after u took them from the game. i take screenshots but i dont know wherethey r. r they under my hl2 folder cuz i want to start adding pictures to my reports
S
Solidsocom
Guest
Esquire said:
thanks I did that but i overlooked valve like twice
S
Solidsocom
Guest
hey wen i am not doing a report i do things more quickly becuz i get bored taking my time like that
S
Solidsocom
Guest
true but thats wen im doing a report its like wearing a suit to work but casual stuff at home cuz it feels better
H
Hybro
Guest
I always write properly, use the correct grammar and phraseology for the situation and always carefully select my words to make sure the connotations associated produce the desired effect.
... :naughty:
... :naughty:
Darkwolf
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Daily Citizen a Criminal Syndicate
A reacent survay has shown that over 84% of the DC's staff have a criminal record and have been taken in for questioning, been fugitives, or worked for the rebellion at some point in time.
After these accusations the editor-in-cheif sealed off all doors in the DC HQ. Although this means that the esteemed newspaper is in the good books again, this means another catastrophy might occur again. Interveiws with other reporters revealed they have been secretly and illegally been installing urinals and stocks of anti-radiation shots in their offices.
Due to... safty concerns these have been confiscated by the Editor-in-Cheif. Any people found with these stores are graciously... invited to the... VIP toilet in Sub-Basement 46.
In other news feirce fighting as broken out all over America as rebels are gaining the upper hand at the taking of New York. Two Combine positions have already been taken as more UU reinforements are flown in.
The concentration of troops in America means the lack of garrison in most cities have sparked more rebellions.
More on that later.
Now to chew through this chocolate door, where is that pick- wait a minute, this things stil- (static)
Internal Memo
My reacent studies have shown that a BSOD on ANY computer in the DC network will cause a total lockdown as we are experiancing now. To prevent a second BSOD and enevitable second stage (radiation flooding), I have turned our network into a Linux/Debian base. Enjoy
-d
A reacent survay has shown that over 84% of the DC's staff have a criminal record and have been taken in for questioning, been fugitives, or worked for the rebellion at some point in time.
After these accusations the editor-in-cheif sealed off all doors in the DC HQ. Although this means that the esteemed newspaper is in the good books again, this means another catastrophy might occur again. Interveiws with other reporters revealed they have been secretly and illegally been installing urinals and stocks of anti-radiation shots in their offices.
Due to... safty concerns these have been confiscated by the Editor-in-Cheif. Any people found with these stores are graciously... invited to the... VIP toilet in Sub-Basement 46.
In other news feirce fighting as broken out all over America as rebels are gaining the upper hand at the taking of New York. Two Combine positions have already been taken as more UU reinforements are flown in.
The concentration of troops in America means the lack of garrison in most cities have sparked more rebellions.
More on that later.
Now to chew through this chocolate door, where is that pick- wait a minute, this things stil- (static)
Internal Memo
My reacent studies have shown that a BSOD on ANY computer in the DC network will cause a total lockdown as we are experiancing now. To prevent a second BSOD and enevitable second stage (radiation flooding), I have turned our network into a Linux/Debian base. Enjoy
-d
H
Hybro
Guest
Where is your evidence...?
S
Solidsocom
Guest
Dr. Issac Kleiner put into Popular Scientist magazine.
After creating his famous invention called the "Teleportation Machine" Dr. Isaac Kleiner was the first man to make something that was better than combine technology.
I talked with him today: "I am grateful for my Teleportation device and glad that it works."
His next challenge is to make something that could easily find his pet asscrab Lamarr.
In other news, five combine soldiers were found dead near the once known place named Ravenholm. Combine advisors are getting tired of the Zombies getting themselves into Combine camps and wreaking havok upon the combine. Local authorities informed us that a rumor says that the combine advisors want to put force into Ravenholm and clear it out. So far, we do not know if this rumor is true although most cremators in city 17 have heard this and are willing to go. They say it's their "job."
______________________________
The Popular Magazine is actually an Easter Egg in Dr. Isaac Kleiners lab in Red Letter day. You can find it on the thumtack board and you should find Popular Magazine with the Dr. face on it.
______________________________
:sniper: <- Thats my job.
After creating his famous invention called the "Teleportation Machine" Dr. Isaac Kleiner was the first man to make something that was better than combine technology.
I talked with him today: "I am grateful for my Teleportation device and glad that it works."
His next challenge is to make something that could easily find his pet asscrab Lamarr.
In other news, five combine soldiers were found dead near the once known place named Ravenholm. Combine advisors are getting tired of the Zombies getting themselves into Combine camps and wreaking havok upon the combine. Local authorities informed us that a rumor says that the combine advisors want to put force into Ravenholm and clear it out. So far, we do not know if this rumor is true although most cremators in city 17 have heard this and are willing to go. They say it's their "job."
______________________________
The Popular Magazine is actually an Easter Egg in Dr. Isaac Kleiners lab in Red Letter day. You can find it on the thumtack board and you should find Popular Magazine with the Dr. face on it.
______________________________
:sniper: <- Thats my job.
bat_lyubo
Newbie
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NEW!!! Combine dating network!
Hello there all Combine soldiers! If you are looking for love, friendship or something more, why don't you connect to our new dating service?
It's FREE
it's fast
It's full of users
You can search for users by many criterias, making sure, that you,
FIND THE GAS-MASKED MAN OF YOUR DREAMS!*
*this service is for male combine soldiers only. Any attempt for connection to the Dating Network (tm) by an outside citizen, will result in execution for those responsible
Hello there all Combine soldiers! If you are looking for love, friendship or something more, why don't you connect to our new dating service?
It's FREE
it's fast
It's full of users
You can search for users by many criterias, making sure, that you,
FIND THE GAS-MASKED MAN OF YOUR DREAMS!*
*this service is for male combine soldiers only. Any attempt for connection to the Dating Network (tm) by an outside citizen, will result in execution for those responsible
Jintor
Didn't Get Temp-Banned
- Joined
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- 14,780
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Combine haven't lost coast
1400, yesterday - Combine official #8574 denied yesterday claims that our brilliant combine rulers had not, in fact, lost a coast.
'We deny streneously, contineously and with bullets that the Combine have ever lost a coast, large fishing village or otherwise, or in fact that the Combine have ever lost anything at all.' #8574 said in a media statement yesterday. 'In fact, the very idea is laughable. Ha.Ha.Ha. Anyway, there is no way that we have temporarily mislaid a large fishing village, have lost dozens of fishermen, a lighthouse, have shelled a large fishing village with headcrab canisters, have set up a base at St. Olga's, have better lighting there than in any part of the world, etcetera, etcetera.'
In the meantime, residents of the shoreline are complaining via egotistic letters that they are missing an entire streach of coast. 'Dear <rivalnewspapernameunworthy>,' says one such letter not made up on the spot, 'Where the hell is my ocean-front property? I paid top CombineCredit for that property, infested with leaches as the shore is and antlions as my child's sandpit is, and now Officials say that there is a massive space-time contiumiumium leak and i can't get anywhere near it. What's wrong with this country, and, incidently, <rivalnewspapernameunworthy>? You suck, <rivalnewspapernameunworthy>. Signed, notte Jintor.'
'We have responded to some queries by concerned... citizens' said #8574, 'And are sending in strike teams that are sure to destroy everybody within the immediant area and mysteriously vanish their bodies, bullets, and guns. With superb lighting as well, and brilliant rag-dolling, of course. Hostages will be rescued, and anybody who refuses to continually flashbang our own side will be shot and kicked, repeatedly.'
1400, yesterday - Combine official #8574 denied yesterday claims that our brilliant combine rulers had not, in fact, lost a coast.
'We deny streneously, contineously and with bullets that the Combine have ever lost a coast, large fishing village or otherwise, or in fact that the Combine have ever lost anything at all.' #8574 said in a media statement yesterday. 'In fact, the very idea is laughable. Ha.Ha.Ha. Anyway, there is no way that we have temporarily mislaid a large fishing village, have lost dozens of fishermen, a lighthouse, have shelled a large fishing village with headcrab canisters, have set up a base at St. Olga's, have better lighting there than in any part of the world, etcetera, etcetera.'
In the meantime, residents of the shoreline are complaining via egotistic letters that they are missing an entire streach of coast. 'Dear <rivalnewspapernameunworthy>,' says one such letter not made up on the spot, 'Where the hell is my ocean-front property? I paid top CombineCredit for that property, infested with leaches as the shore is and antlions as my child's sandpit is, and now Officials say that there is a massive space-time contiumiumium leak and i can't get anywhere near it. What's wrong with this country, and, incidently, <rivalnewspapernameunworthy>? You suck, <rivalnewspapernameunworthy>. Signed, notte Jintor.'
'We have responded to some queries by concerned... citizens' said #8574, 'And are sending in strike teams that are sure to destroy everybody within the immediant area and mysteriously vanish their bodies, bullets, and guns. With superb lighting as well, and brilliant rag-dolling, of course. Hostages will be rescued, and anybody who refuses to continually flashbang our own side will be shot and kicked, repeatedly.'
Darkwolf
Tank
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(OMG!!!)
Today Combine official #8574 was repeatedly kicked and shot after spending 2 minutes shooting a teammate who had, Awaino Froluskeyborian Syndrome, a common condition whereas the victim appears to go into a daydream state.
After shooting his "friend" repeatedly in the head 56 times he was ambushed by a rebel. Eye witnesses report him as being insane, they heard phrases like,
"WTF?" and "OMG j00 StUpId N00b!!!!!!1111oneone"
In other news the Northern American continant has been taken and a huge rebel force is moving into South America. Feirce fighting has already insude and and Huge forces of rebels have landed on Australia's east coast and Northern Russia.
However in the next turn the massive portal storms will appear all over Europe, bring huge ammounts of reinforcements. For all we know the rebels could get snake eye. We just have to wait and see.
-d
Today Combine official #8574 was repeatedly kicked and shot after spending 2 minutes shooting a teammate who had, Awaino Froluskeyborian Syndrome, a common condition whereas the victim appears to go into a daydream state.
After shooting his "friend" repeatedly in the head 56 times he was ambushed by a rebel. Eye witnesses report him as being insane, they heard phrases like,
"WTF?" and "OMG j00 StUpId N00b!!!!!!1111oneone"
In other news the Northern American continant has been taken and a huge rebel force is moving into South America. Feirce fighting has already insude and and Huge forces of rebels have landed on Australia's east coast and Northern Russia.
However in the next turn the massive portal storms will appear all over Europe, bring huge ammounts of reinforcements. For all we know the rebels could get snake eye. We just have to wait and see.
-d
the_rebel_medic
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DARKWOLF HAS FALLEN TO THE 133734$ (leeters)
Today in a sad turn of events Darkwolf (A respected Member) has fallen to the sad level of actually saying a 1337 term (namely n00b and !!!!111!!!oneone) and sadly his report was titled OMG11!!!
We feel that mr Darkwolf should beet them or join them. /me hands dark wolf a H&K MP5. Please Mr darkwolf do your stuff
Today in a sad turn of events Darkwolf (A respected Member) has fallen to the sad level of actually saying a 1337 term (namely n00b and !!!!111!!!oneone) and sadly his report was titled OMG11!!!
We feel that mr Darkwolf should beet them or join them. /me hands dark wolf a H&K MP5. Please Mr darkwolf do your stuff
Evil Cat Of Death Wrecks Havoc On City 17
EVIL CAT OF DEATH WRECKS HAVOC ON CITY 17
Reports of a giant demonic cat with 7 legs and 3 eyes have flooded the phone lines here at City 17 Daily. It has been eating small children, humping CP's and is obvious NOT litter trained. The cat is believed to be the property of Black Mesa researcher DOCTOR KLEINER, who claims the cat jumped into his teleportation device and came out the other end just as the reports say.
NEWS UPDATE: RESEARCHER DOCTOR KLEINER FOUND DEAD TOMMOROW IN HIS SECRET LAB ONCE WE FIND IT...GOD DAMN, YOU ****ING BASTARD...WERE COMING TO KILL YOU!
EVIL CAT OF DEATH WRECKS HAVOC ON CITY 17
Reports of a giant demonic cat with 7 legs and 3 eyes have flooded the phone lines here at City 17 Daily. It has been eating small children, humping CP's and is obvious NOT litter trained. The cat is believed to be the property of Black Mesa researcher DOCTOR KLEINER, who claims the cat jumped into his teleportation device and came out the other end just as the reports say.
NEWS UPDATE: RESEARCHER DOCTOR KLEINER FOUND DEAD TOMMOROW IN HIS SECRET LAB ONCE WE FIND IT...GOD DAMN, YOU ****ING BASTARD...WERE COMING TO KILL YOU!
Jintor
Didn't Get Temp-Banned
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the_rebel_medic said:
Breaking News: Daily Citizen Employee doesn't get sarcasm! Or quoting!
When posting a news article, bad grammar is allowed _only_ if quoting a source, be it member, npc, or moron.
Thanks for your time.
Jintor
Senior Writer for the Daily Citizen, GM for -Afterwards-
the_rebel_medic
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Jintor Unable To Comprahend Need For Post Uping
Today Jintor has disrespected member The_rebel_medic about his artical on n00b13$4 (noobish) report and can't comprahend that he mearly needs posts
Today Jintor has disrespected member The_rebel_medic about his artical on n00b13$4 (noobish) report and can't comprahend that he mearly needs posts
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