The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper

[Jintor]

I claim for the Ministry of Truth and Information! (MTI)

*runs into battle situation*

 

[15357]

*sets up some 200 autoturrets*

 

[Darkwolf]

Sends some 2000 killer rabbits with nukes strapped to its head to nut the "some 200 auto turrets" and the "some 1 ex-Editor-in-cheif"

 

[Jintor]

*eats rabbits*

MMmm... wabbit.

*burps out nukes*

 

[15357]

Fellow citizens, our world lies right next to the brink of destruction.

All because of the anticitizen Darkwolf.

He has brought misery and pain unto this world. He is a traitor.

But we shall prevail in the name of balance. We shall destroy the dissidents and bring peace.

Trust your editor. Obey.

 

[Darkwolf]

lolz, so much for a dead thread

PS. Dr. Breen is your true ruler! He has died no less then 67 times. He has ordered a change to the news networks due to the editors rebillious activities and feeding false information to the people. Stories that talk about an indestructable editor and internal problems in the DC HQ.

PPS. THIS is the bring of destruction... *plays video of death star firing on Alderon... pauses just before laser hits*

 

[Boogymanx]

DC back from the dead
The Daily Citizen, the loved newspaper that has won several NOTC* awards, is back. After a moment of dead writings and only printing of a rolling ball of hay, the newspaper is now officially back, and Dr. Breen, presumably to have died 168 times, is back with them!

*NOTC: Newspaper of the Combine

 

[Jintor]

This is a news flash.

One of Dr. Breen's many clones has been killed. Again.

 

[15357]

Excelent... Everything is proceeding according to the prophecy......



Security!

 

[OvA]

If this thread could talk, it would be begging strangers to kill it.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

If this thread could talk, it would be begging strangers to kill it.

I could translate it.:afro:

 

[Jintor]

We're not letting this die!

...Well, not until a mod comes across this and forces it to die, a horrible, painful death.

Please, think of the thread! The thread i tells ya!

 

[15357]

Set it to 300.

Clear!

400.

Clear!

Come on, give 10kgs of antispam injection.

Clear!

 

[Darkwolf]

*Gives 15357 a vial of Decomposing bacteria*

"We are talking the meat here right?"

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Docs, is there ANYTHING you can do?

 

[Jintor]

*watches as Docs stabs TollBooth Willie*

Apparently so!

 

[the_rebel_medic]

with my medical and new found "Surgical" Abilities I believe i can assassinate the editor with non-needed surgery and remove spam with a simple can with cool opening mechagnism

 

[15357]

with my medical and new found "Surgical" Abilities I believe i can assassinate the editor with non-needed surgery and remove spam with a simple can with cool opening mechagnism

"You too, Brutus?"

(IIRC)


10-33, 10-33. All units, respond to code 372.

 

[Jintor]

"Et tu, Brutus?"

Personally i like 'Let the Dice Fly High'!

By the way *responds to code*

 

[the_rebel_medic]

:hmph: Oh 15357, your brain appears normal, I better remove it :naughty:

 

[Ennui]

Ennui has pushed the self-destruct button of this newspaper. If it is not deactivated in the next three minutes, the entire facility will implode.

 

[the_rebel_medic]

beep

Deactivated

 

[Jintor]

Moderator Threaterns!

DC Staff band together against foe

Thursday, Year of the pointless lice - A chilling new threat has crept silently into the offices of the DC: Extinction. Members of a theoretical etheral life-form known better as 'moderators' have begun threats for a hostile takeover of the DC.

More news as it comes.

 

[15357]

Unknown Life form sighted in DC Plaza!

Today, an unknown life form, that had existed only theoretically in the "Fan Fiction" dimention, was seen. The creature, classified as a moderator, was shot at by several guards, which did only superficial damage to the skin of the organism. The guards were then eaten alive.

Funeral services will be held tommorow at nine AM.

 

[Boogymanx]

Boogymanx makes 300th post
Boogymanx, a respected member in the community of HL2 *cough* has just made his three hundreth post with mindless spam in the Daily Citizen

 

[15357]

Ok.....


I suppose 5 days ago, it was just a spasmic revival of this thread, which failed horribly.

 

[Darkwolf]

DC Be Dead

It appears someone set us up the bomb, we didnt launch every zig, and we are subsequently... dead. UNLESS SOMEONE WISHES TO REVIVE *HINT HINT*

-D

 

[the_rebel_medic]

/me thinks
hmmm

CLEAR
thwump

Thread revived, I am now the editor in chief, Darkwolf, you are assistant editor and everyone else are now senior writers


The Daily Citizen Revived

Today in a shock turn of events, The Rebel Medic, after returning from an award ceremony for killing 15357 has revived TDC and promoted a majority of workers. Average pay is currently 150 million CC p/day and for Zombie Editor 15357 Per Centurty

Workers are hopefully working there asses off for the paper, more news as it comes

TDC

 

[Jintor]

Will Revolt for food

This is a notice by the hungry, hungry Jintor stating his willingness to CRUSH and DESTROY stuff for food.

Will revolt for food.

 

[Sloth]

Rebels Introduce Food for Revolt

Recently the Rebel cells have been giving out food to 'win over' the hearts and minds of the UU Human Citzens. Many of the Citzens are reported to have complained at the ammount of Watermellons, ripe and un-ripe, around City 17.

To combat this sway in the Rebel "hearts and minds" program the UU have started to periodically starve and feast the public.

This program is being met with mixed results, about 50 dead.

 

[the_rebel_medic]

/me hands a piece of paper to Jintor

Kill HIM

*points to moderator*

 

[Sloth]

Internal Memo - Adressed to DC Staff (L3) and Members of the Moderator Species (DL 90)

Due to recent starving of some DC reporters and the subsequent DC 'Food for Murder' program, Moderators are warned to not come close to the DC HQ. Effects of this program will wear off when DC begins it's normal circulation. Until then Members of the Moderator Species are advised to watch at a distance, when banning or slapping wrists to have fast track evacuation plans.

Thank you, This has been an Internal Memo.

 

[the_rebel_medic]

A note from your editor in chief

HA HA HA HA HA, have a look at that labotomised 15357, whover has sinned may throw the first stone

 

[15357]

"lobotomy"


We have a 192-10 on Central Plaza, all security units respond to 710.

Initiate persecution on subject "TRM", 9-21 is granted.

 

[the_rebel_medic]

/me draws his glock

Yes, I still have it

 

[Darkwolf]

/sends army of crazy monkeys with glocks, and anti lead sheilds to complete 9-21. Draws nicer pistol (ie. Steyr SPP) Prepare to be 9-21'd

http://freakinshirts.com/images/chimpanzee-glock.gif

http://www.duta.co.uk/images/gunpics/pistols/spp.gif

 

[The_One_Free_Man]

GUN CLEAN-UP CREW NEEDED:
In the events that have lead up to the full scale riot near the citadel this week, the rebel "hero" Gordon Freeman has used up a huge amount of weapons and amunition. Many people are complaining of back and neck injuries from slipping on the shells left from his wake. We need a crew to come and clean up all shells and weapons that are left over. You will be supplied with all the appropriate tools. If you are intrested please report to your nearest combine outpost.

 

[15357]

Ah, welcome, corporate conscript, to our newspaper.



10-32 on main plaza.

 

[Jintor]

12-17 on angle 5, citadel implosion emminant.

 

[Darkwolf]

Citadel Imploded, requesting 1-1 cleanup crew, get out your micro waves and thaw out time, it froze.




(BOOM BOOM)