Your funniest sex moment

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Iced_Eagle said:
http://www.canadiandriver.com/articles/jc/images/95tracker_con4x4.jpg

I had sex in this car. I'll let you use your imagination.

'Nuff said.
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I have this girl who wants to have sex with me in my RX7...essentially she will do anything she can to do it with me there...She even explained in detail how it would work. My seats would be all the way down, her head against the back wall, legs over seats, and me going at it. I suppose doggie style would be easy to do there as well.
 
CyberPitz said:
I have this girl who wants to have sex with me in my RX7...essentially she will do anything she can to do it with me there...She even explained in detail how it would work. My seats would be all the way down, her head against the back wall, legs over seats, and me going at it. I suppose doggie style would be easy to do there as well.
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do it, and let me know when your doing it. that way we can have another funny to post.
 
Kamikazi said:
do it, and let me know when your doing it. that way we can have another funny to post.
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The problem with that, it's Samantha, the girl I used to work with. I don't know what sort of STD she has now, but damn if she isn't cute enough to do still.
 
her pussy juices will eat right through the condom
 
Stop being a pansy and stick it in her ass.




:|


then her mouth
 
I have experiences, but none that are particularly funny.

I have some that involve other people that are funny though...
 
CyberPitz said:
Plus she might have so many STDs, they might just rip right through the condom! :(
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:x run away from it pitzy, run away from it like it is radiation, and I don't mean the good kind of radiation that gives you super powers. you want to run towards that, but the kind I am talking about will give you cancer....and aids. but if you must really touch it, I would suggest dawning protective gear and using tools instead of flesh. like maybe thick rubber kitchen gloves, a rain slicker, a protective mask, and a one foot jelly toy. you can only expose yourself to this kind of radiation for 30 seconds, then you must vacate the area and go through decontamination. all gear must be incinerated, any fluids that touch the skin must be washed away immediatly. symptoms may take time to appear, if any show up seek medical attention. lastly, if your not sure about it, just don't do it. I prefer my partners clean. :naughty: *slaps pitzies butt*
 
Is jailbait really jailbait if it gives you diseases?
 
This thread rocks, mine is a you had to be there sort of thing...

Get out of the shower with my g/f, been fooling around the whole shower. She jumps up on the sink and we do it like that for a while, then she wants to ride so she pushes me to the wet floor and climbs up cowgirl style. We are going at it for a few minutes hard and heavy the towell slides out from under me and my back starts to suction to the wet bathroom floor and with every thrust it makes the most disgusting loud "fart" sound... We just laugh and keep going...
 
Korgoth said:
This thread rocks, mine is a you had to be there sort of thing...

Get out of the shower with my g/f, been fooling around the whole shower. She jumps up on the sink and we do it like that for a while, then she wants to ride so she pushes me to the wet floor and climbs up cowgirl style. We are going at it for a few minutes hard and heavy the towell slides out from under me and my back starts to suction to the wet bathroom floor and with every thrust it makes the most disgusting loud "fart" sound... We just laugh and keep going...
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I have that problem with some girls, when we're in the missionary position and every time I'd pull up from her, the suction from between her tits and my chest would just make that sound, they look like, "WTF IS THAT?!" haha, great laughs.
 
CyberPitz said:
I have that problem with some girls, when we're in the missionary position and every time I'd pull up from her, the suction from between her tits and my chest would just make that sound, they look like, "WTF IS THAT?!" haha, great laughs.
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of course it doesn't help that you have a cereal bowl chest from being falcon punched.
 
Kamikazi said:
of course it doesn't help that you have a cereal bowl chest from being falcon punched.
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falcon.jpg
 
Kamikazi said:
of course it doesn't help that you have a cereal bowl chest from being falcon punched.
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Haha, I think a Falcon Punch would have done more dmg. :O But that's OK, I'm going to get rid of the hair,a nd girls are going to take shots out of it. Boy that is going to be HOT.
 
This is just a goofy story overall so I decided I might as well post it in this awesome but dying thread.

So I enter a house party with some friends and it seems like it'll suck. I see a girl in the kitchen talking to some guy with a pierced lip. She lifts her top, flashing her breasts to said pierced guy (her lefty is pierced as well - cool) and anybody else that happens to glance in that general direction.

I decide this party is alright after all.

I keep moving through the crowd to the main dining table. Upon setting sight on this table, it is clearly revealed as my own personal Elysium in this entire city. There are more bottles of high-class alcohol that I can count on my fingers + toes along with the appropriate mixers and utensils. I decide to make my home camp as close to this table as possible. I walk up to make a Grey Goose + Lime juice. Slut/Ho (titty flasher) walks up to the table to refresh her drink. I make conversation omitting the fact that I have already seen her flash her breasts. I fix her a drink and we go out to the deck to have a chat. The night continues on as it will.

Fast forward to the next morning. A couple of my friends and I want to go golfing at a local course but slut/ho has become attached to us/me, wishes to tag along.

I end up on a cart with slut/ho and my friend + 1 are on another cart. Slut/ho obviously joined us because she is clingy and wants to be near me and my friends. She is falling asleep on the cart while we play 18. I decide to mess with her sleepy ass. On one hole, I pull up to my ball as fast as the cart will go, then swerve to the left as I hit the brakes. She goes FLYING OFF THE CART, doing barrel rolls in mid-air before she hits the rough, face down in an awkward position (she had to have studied Peppy for the barrel roll part, they were flawless). My friends and I screech to a halt frozen in amusement/fear that she may have been seriously hurt. She starts crying/laughing, so naturally we laugh our asses off as she *pretends* to be hurt.

The game continued on and slut/ho started to show her true interest in me as I was driving her around this course while she slept/babbled/fell on her ass on this course.

We are in a heavily wooded section of the course (I have my days, but this was not one of them) and she decides to go topless for a while. Obviously, I do not object. I decide to fool around with her just a little (no way I'd risk an STD with this girl).

Just around this time, another one of the people I'm golfing with (not my friend) decides to hit way too soon RIGHT at another golfing party ahead of us. We're nearing the end of our 18 and one of the guys in the clubhouse notices. He carts out to us to yell in our faces for about 10 minutes even though it's the one retard's fault. She quickly throws on her top before he gets close enough to yell at us...neglecting her bra which is now in my golf bag.

So she happened to throw her bra in the most used pocket of my golf bag...which my dad and I happen to share on occasion for tees, ball, etc. Imagine my inability to explain when my dad reaches into my bag, looking for a ball, and pulls out a 36C bra from my golf bag....

I still have the bra. I don't think I'll be giving it back. :p It's one of those pink/black date-bras that clearly implies the girl in question was thinking of/planning on action.

Wow, this was one long f*cking post. Props to anybody that actually read the whole thing. Time to get my moderately sauced ass to bed.

Peace.

Cliffs:

-I meet slut/ho at party
-Slut/ho tags along to golf game next day with friends
-I fool around with slut/ho during golf game
-Slut/ho's bra ends up in my golf bag
-MY father totally busts me on bra in my golf bag when we play a few days later.
-Awkward factor = 10
 
Hahaha, oh wow, that's awesome. I'd love to fool around with a chick while in public. Would make it even better. :O
 
Not really sex, per say...

I was in my computer chair, beating off to some porn. Well, one of the roomates just barged in, and I barely had enough time to turn off the pr0n, but couldn't zip back up, so i had to just cover it up with a shirt. She sat next to me on my bed, and just kind of started talking to me. While I'm here, half turned trying to hide my massive erection, it telling me to tell her whats going on, and have her blow me..but NO I MUST NOT! So after a minute or two of uncomfertableness from me, she leave...and I have to work to get hard again.

Damn.
 
Same situation, replace friend with mum.

She HAS to talk to me though :(
 
lmao
*jerking it with backed turned to the door*
*mom walks in*
*quickly put it away*
"what are you doing?"
"uh nothing"
"why is your face red?"
"umm ... i dont feel good"
"what's wrong"
"headache?"
 
Dude.. Golf + Tits what more could you want !?? (other than tacos)
 
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